Name: "You SUCK Chicken Fingers??" | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2023-09-12T20:37:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video '"You SUCK Chicken Fingers??" | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-09-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video '"You SUCK Chicken Fingers??" | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-09-12. Transcript available.

- Rudy. - Rudy, sorry.
- What cleaning supplies were you supposed
to get at the house?
- Soap, soap, dish soap.
- Soap, two soaps.
- Soap, soap, soap.
- No, no, in Philippines, soap soap is one soap.
Soap soap, that's one.
- You know what's soap soap in Cebuano?
- Soap soap in Cebuano, let me think.
- Let me ask you something.
You're questioning a white man what soap is?
- Soap soap! - Soap soap!
- Oh, my God. - Soap soap.
- Sorry. - Not soap.
- Let me guess. - Oh, soup soup.
- Oh, it's bat soup?
- No, it's lobster bisque and French onion.
- Soap soap.
- Right, in one bowl.
- Two part one.
- It's not a food, it's like an action.
- Soap soap.
- Oh, I know what it is.
- Why?
- It's when you stab somebody with a machete.
- No. - Soap soap soap.
- No. - Oh, just soap.
- Yeah, one soap, one soap.
- It's an action, soap soap.
- Soap soap.
- Soap soap.
- Not sop sop, soap soap.
- Soap soap.
Oh, jumping jacks.
- No. - Soap soap soap soap soap soap.
- That doesn't sound like it.
- No? - No, no, no.
- Jump rope.
- It's an action.
- No, it's jump rope.
- Oh. - Soap soap soap soap soap soap.
- I get it.
- It's not. - It's not.
It's an action, Bob.
Is it an action?
- Oh, it's fucking.
You know how-- - You're close to it.
You're close to it.
- I know, I know.
- Oh, it's going down on someone.
- Soap soap. - No.
- It's a thick dick.
Loose vagina.
- Soap, soap, soap, soap, soap.
- It's an echo.
- Yeah.
- There's an echo there.
- It's eating ass.
'Cause somebody goes, "Oh, this needs soap soap."
- What is it?
- No, no, no, no, no.
We gotta find it on our own.
- We gotta find it on our own.
- On our own.
- Well, she said an action and it's close to sex.
- It's close to sex.
- So in the Philippines, soap soap means--
- Is, um, soap soap.
- Oh, when you suck tits.
When you suck tits.
- No, no.
- Sop, soap, soap, soap, soap, soap.
- Sucking, yeah.
- Sucking and sucking?
See, I'm close.
- Oh, you do it.
- You already guessed it, sucking.
- Sucking tits.
Soap soap.
- No, is soap really sucking tits?
- Sucking, it's just sucking, soap soap.
- Why is it twice?
- I don't know.
- Does it have to be sexual?
Could it be like, um-- - I always use it.
- Do you suck chicken fingers?
- Like, if I'm eating chicken fingers,
they're like, are you soap soap?
- You're not sucking chicken fingers.
- You don't suck chicken fingers?
How do you eat chicken fingers?
- You suck the juices from the fucking bone, dude.
- What?
- Yeah.
- First of all, you're talking about chicken wings.
Chicken fingers are boneless.
You're getting bone-filled chicken strips?
- Yes, I requested.
I go put the bone back in.
- When you get chicken fingers,
you want bone-in chicken fingers.
- And they, can I say something?
- Yeah.
- They don't like it.
- There it is, that girl soap soaping.
- Yeah, they rolled their eyes.
- And I gotta tell you something, Patreon fans.
So happy that you joined.
- Yeah.
- You know, let's climb this road together.
Let's get unlimited, unfiltered content like this.
We're gonna spit on Rudy on three.
One, two, three.
- Anyway.
- Soap, soap.
- Soap, soap.
- Are you happy to be back here, Rudy Jules?
- Yeah.
- You better be.
- Mm-hmm.
- How about you come, by the way, speaking of returning,
I texted Doc the other night.
- Uh-oh.
- Oh, wow.
- Well, he texted me, actually.
- Oh, great.
- He saw something on Instagram, maybe.
- About the aliens?
- No, it's funny.
It wasn't alien-based, but I thought it was.
No, he texted me something that we posted
on the gram or something.
- Bad?
- Oh, no, no, no.
- We gotta be positive with that.
- No, no, no, it was good, it was good, I promise it was good.
But I'll show you exactly what it was.
Doc, our old friend Doc, who's a busy, busy man,
he said, oh yeah, it was a picture of the
I'm Bobby Mom tattoo that went around the internet.
You've seen this?
- Yeah, I've seen it.
- The guy got it?
- Yeah.
- And he loved it, and he said, "I've been great, fam.
"Working at Amazon till 2:00 p.m."
And this was late at night, I think.
And I said, "You're hustling hard."
He said, "I hope to see you soon, fam, love you.
Gotta go talk to you."
And that was it.
And then I said, "Doc, miss you."
And he wrote, "Nah, fam."
- He said, "Nah?"
- No, he didn't say that.
No, he didn't say that, but we do miss our little Doc.
- I know, but why did you just say that?
I mean, you made it seem like there was gonna be some way
to get him back into the team.
- I just wanted to tickle you a little bit.
I wanted to tease you.
- Yeah, it's like, don't get my mouth watering.
- I'm trying.
- All right?
- I'm trying.
- 'Cause you know what I'm gonna do if I see him?
- What?
- Soup soup.
I'm gonna soup soup all day long, dude.
I'm happy that you're back, Rudy.
You've graduated in life.
How old are you now?
- 21.
- 21.
- She's been with the same guy now for over a year.
- Gross.
- Right?
So she's monogamous.
- But you're not living with him.
- No.
- And there's no chance they're monogamous.
These 21-year-old kids, they're little rabbits.
They're fucking everything they talk to.
- Are you sleeping outside the relationship?
- No.
- She's not sleeping.
- Oh, soap soap.
- Soap soap.
She's soap soaping.
- Yeah, other guys.
How's school going though?
- Is it good though?
The relationship with him is good?
- Yeah.
- What's his name again?
- Joey?
- Joey, yeah.
- He's called Joey.
- Joey.
- Yeah.
- How's Joey, good?
- Joey's good.
- He's a pharmacist?
- Pharmacy tech.
- Okay.
- Ooh, can he get us some pills?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Wait, I'm being serious, can he?
'Cause I actually need muscle relaxers.
- I need Oxycontin.
- My back is bad again.
- Fentanyl and Oxycontin.
- Can we get Fentanyl, Oxycontin, and muscle relaxers?
- I'll ask him.
- I love it that you ask for real drugs.
I'm like, can I get Advil free?
- How hard is it though, if you work at a pharmacy?
- So easy.
- As a tech?
- Easy.
- I don't think so.
- He hates it.
- He hates drugs?
- Because of the people, like customer service.
- Oh, well, yeah.
Have you seen the people?
Have you been in line at a CVS late at night?
- I'll leave.
- It's literally thriller.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- They're just old, they're just old.
- I'm here for my medication.
- Their teeth are falling out.
- Yeah.
- Dude, it's the scary, being in line at a Walgreens or CVS
late at night waiting for a prescription,
it makes me feel like I'm in Carlos's dreams.
- Yeah.
- You know what I mean?
- Can I just say something elitist?
- Please.
- You know how sometimes I say elitist things?
- Never.
- It's like, I hate it when they qualm over,
you see this in a pharmacy line always.
- Yeah.
- About a dollar or two.
- Well, this coupon and my insurance, $2.
You know, you charged me two extra dollars.
- They sure did, yeah.
- Yeah, but don't you just go, ah, fuck it.
- If it's a dollar.
- Yeah, well, so when would you complain?
How much money?
- $2.
- No, be real.
- Well, I tell you this, I had a prescription change
and this was insane.
It went from, it went from like a dollar a pill
to $4.85 a pill.
Now, when everything adds up, that's a shit load of money.
- Oh, I see.
So that's what it is.
It's not like the whole thing is a dollar more.
It's per pill, it's like per medication.
That's when it gets insane.
- But what I'm asking you is like, if you're buying a car,
for instance, and the car is like 80,000.
I know you would never do that.
- That's a little pricey.
- No, you would never do that.
- Let's say 40,000.
- Yeah, no, no, 40.
- Okay, 40,000.
- 40 grand.
I'm buying a 40 grand.
- And then you do it through your accountant.
You have an accountant, right?
- Business manager.
- A business manager, right?
And then you see later down the road, your receipt, right?
And they charge you 40,685.
- What was the extra 685?
- You have no idea, it doesn't say.
- What is it?
- It just doesn't say, it's a ghost.
- You're my business manager, what is it?
- Well, Mr. Santino.
- Just call me Andrew, I've known you for 12 years.
- Well, in this, 'cause I embezzled from you,
so I have to call him Mr. Santino.
- You stole $685?
- Well, no, it's a ghost.
It's ghost money.
- Oh, so it doesn't.
- It's an old term, you know what I mean?
In terms of accountants.
- This is a money term.
It's a money term, it's called ghost money.
- I get it, I'm out of bounds.
- Yeah, yeah, you're out of bounds.
And so there's sometimes, you know what I mean?
Money, right, that is invisible to you.
- Right.
- But visible to my bank account.
You understand?
- I can't see it, but you do.
- I see it definitely.
- This makes a lot of sense, actually.
- Well, it's no longer there.
- Oh, so it's yours?
- Well, I went to Thailand.
Yeah, I went to Thailand, yeah, yeah.
- Okay. - So it's some woman's.
- Okay. - But my point, though, being--
- Some woman's?
- Yeah, but would you be mad for that much?
- $685.
- I'd want to know where it went.
- And if it was ghost money, what would happen?
- I'd have a little bit of a dispute.
I would be upset.
If you told me one--
- $685, you!
- If you told me this and it became something else.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, I gotta be mad.
- Well, what about this?
Well, it's tax purposes.
- Oh, it's for taxes?
- Yeah, there's like tire tax.
- Well, I haven't paid taxes in a long time.
- In the car.
When you buy a car, you pay for the rubber.
- Yeah.
- The tire tax, right?
- Yeah.
- And there's transmission tax.
- I've never heard of this before.
- It's new.
- Let me Google it right now.
- It's a Biden thing.
- I'm gonna Google it.
- It's a Biden thing. - Hold on.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Look at that.
- Yeah.
- Joe Biden implements tire tax and--
- And transmission.
- God, son of a bitch.
- Transmission taxes.
- Well, transmission taxes because you know
what he's all about.