Name: Bobby Lee Is Mystified by Andrew Santino's Brain | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2023-10-05T16:00:11.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee Is Mystified by Andrew Santino's Brain | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-10-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee Is Mystified by Andrew Santino's Brain | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-10-05. Transcript available.

Soty, how long are you in town for?
Just till Wednesday.
Are you here running around promoting or what are you doing?
I was supposed to promote, but then there was a strike.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, that's right.
So I can't promote.
We're not allowed to talk about that.
Yeah, I'm not even allowed to.
I did Howie Mandel's podcast and the whole background was the show.
And I was like, hey, that's going to get me in deep shit.
I need my health insurance.
And what did he say?
Was he like, I'll leave it up there?
He's like, oh, no, no, no, I'll change it.
He was cool as hell.
Oh, he was.
Yeah, I think people, LA is the city where they understand.
Because nobody wants to lose their fucking child.
Did you grow up with, like, liking Howie?
Yeah, Bobby's world was massive.
So when you, was that the first time you met him?
Yeah.
What a nice guy, right?
I've known for years, but I love him.
Sweetheart.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And like walking around.
Yeah, very nervous.
Because I didn't know, you don't know how that's going to be.
Kind of like an older school dude, like old school dude.
You're like, I don't know if we're going to get along.
I don't know how it's going to go.
And he was super fucking old.
Did he show you his hologram?
Yeah.
He's got Tupac's hologram.
I know, I love that.
I love that.
Yeah, yeah.
And then I, he does have Tupac's hologram.
In a warehouse in LA, it's some real adrenochrome shit.
It is.
He's like, it's a 50,000 square foot warehouse.
And I was like, what's all the other rooms for?
He's like, we're figuring it out.
I was like, he already knows.
Oh, yeah.
You're harvesting the fear of children.
I, it was one of those things where I'm anti, I'm against AI and chat GBT.
It just scares me.
You know, and I was like, joking at first being like, yeah, that shit kind of
scares me.
And he's like, but why does it scare you?
Yeah.
And you're like, it really was that moment where you're like, are you a
computer?
Why are you so big on pushing computers on me, man?
He's like, write down your feelings.
We'll talk about it on the show.
Zero, one, zero, zero, one, one, zero.
Sorry, I fucked up.
What were you saying?
But he doesn't take a second.
He, he's constantly busy.
And it's like, it's just like, I look at him like, I don't ever want to be like
that.
No way.
Just constantly.
No, he's just constantly doing what?
You see.
Stay on the path you're on right now.
You're just fine.
You, you almost do nothing.
That's so rude, dude.
What's wrong with you today, man?
Isn't that true?
You're attacking me at all kinds of angles.
Isn't it true?
What's the matter with you right now, man?
Isn't it true that you, you do, you, you like to do almost nothing?
I do so many things in my life.
So what are you talking about?
What do you mean?
You just said, I don't want to do it how I'm at.
No, I'm just saying he's constantly like 8 a.m. to fucking 9 p.m.
He's scheduled, booked, booked, booked, going, going, going.
He really did that as we did his podcast.
He's like, I got something right now.
Yeah, yeah.
He's constantly going.
And one time I asked him, I go, dude, he's like, if I stop and think I'm going
to get
depressed and I get in my head and I get really, I get really depressed.
And he goes, oh, that was a good one.
Did he do that?
Yeah, he did that.
And by the way, just as a fart connoisseur, I could hear the splash back.
Thank you, man.
Well, these seats are built for that.
We did buy one specifically.
But you're right.
I mean, I am a little lazier than most.
I'm not saying you're lazy.
I think you like to do less.
Because I will join your team, Bobby, and I will sacrifice myself for this
conversation.
Yeah.
I love to do nothing.
You do?
I love to do nothing.
Thanks, man.
What's nothing to you?
Lay on the couch.
All day.
If I can.
I think you have it.
I'll walk my dog.
What do I have?
You have a little bit of Howie Mandel.
Yeah, I want to do stuff all the time.
No, but you're constantly going.
Yeah.
You're like, sometimes we'll go off the road and you're like, oh, no, I'm going
to Hawaii.
I'm going to do it.
I'm doing a golf tournament in Italy.
And I'm like, dude, slow down.
You know what?
I'm going to agree.
This is all I've got.
I'm going to die.
I should do it while I can.
But I'm going to agree with Bobby.
I'll watch your stories and I'll be like, I just saw you were doing a show.
How are you golfing with Travis Kelsey in fucking Vietnam?
Because I feel like I've got to get it while I'm having it right now.
I understand that.
But to argue what Bobby and I love to do.
Yeah.
I work hard so I can take a Monday.
Next Monday, right?
Yeah.
I got nothing.
Nothing.
And it, to me, is better than doing anything.
I'm going to walk my dog twice.
See, I'm going to do that too.
But then I'm going to literally go upstairs.
I'm going to play PlayStation.
I'm going to watch TV shows.
I'm going to order food.
I'm going to maybe walk to the Starbucks at the base of my building.
Maybe.
And then that's going to be a sick fucking day.
Yeah.
When we went on tour, right?
We would wake up on the tour bus.
He's already gone.
He comes back with a bandana.
Yeah.
Right?
He's wearing a hiking backpack.
Yeah.
A tennis racket.
And you're like, where'd you go all morning?
I went spearfishing.
That's insane.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know?
And it's like, you're just constantly going.
And it's like, I think you have the same thing that Holly has.
It's a sickness, without a doubt.
It's a sickness.
Yeah.
You sleep away your sadness, and I work away my pain.
Well, first of all, that's a beautiful song.
You sleep away your sadness, and I work away my pain.
Sounds like a Lana Del Rey song.
Oh, yeah.
That's cool.
I work off all my pain, and you sleep away your sadness.
You don't want to face it, and neither do I.
We're the same guy.
No one wants to face it.
It's just two separate ends.
I just keep going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and
going.
Yeah.
But I like facing sadness.
Sometimes.
Yeah.
No, I like to put a little dip in my mouth, lay down with my cat gunner, right?
Yeah.
And listen to some really sad shit, dude.
Dude, that sounds honestly.
Right?
And I bring out that machine.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, you know?
See, me, I listen to sad music in my car.
What is that?
If I'm really sad, starting to sound the same, I miss the comfort of being sad.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Nirvana.
I like to take a drive and listen to sad shit.
Oh, my God.
So, look, I'm still moving, even when I'm-
Yeah, you can't.
You're a shark.
Just the machine has-
Yeah, I can't sleep.
You can't stop.
I think I'm going to get one of those aura rings to find out how often I sleep
at night.
Yeah.
And I think, genuinely, it'll register four hours a night, maybe.
I mean, I looked at mine, because I don't snore, but I toss and turn.
Yeah.
And I didn't know that until I lived with Katie, and she's like, dude, you flip
and flop
all the time.
Does she sleep really easy?
She can't fall asleep, but once she's asleep, she's dead to the low.
See, Katie's brain, I would think, is she does what I do, where it's like-
Yes.
Constantly?
Yes.
She can't slow down.
Once she slows down, she can sleep or whatever, but then I can fall asleep fast,
and then I'm
moving in my sleep, and I'm up.
So, I sleep for like an hour, then I'm like, I'm up, and I sleep for another
hour, and I
went and did the test, and they were like, you're waking up 23 times an hour.
23?
Oh, I have the same thing.
And so I got a sleep apnea mask, but it didn't work.
It's like, there's something fucked up with my nose.
I feel like I'm suffocating.
You have a fucked up face, I think.
Stop it.
That is rude.
I'm sorry.
You're right.
But I just looked at it now.
It's so long.
It's long this way.
You gotta stop that.
I can't.
Yeah, you did.
Don't put water on it.
It keeps growing.
You know what, his brain is so big, it's weighted down.
His skin is...
I don't know.
That's why.
There's Dan Soder's head.
There it is, dude.
Yeah, there it is.
That is absolutely it.
That's it.
You got long.
Look at that long-ass flat.
Is that me?
That's me.
That's hilarious.
That's a long skull.
Yeah, yeah.
Wait a minute.
Look.
That is funny.
Give me Korean guy's skulls.
What do they look like?
All right.
No, I just want to see.
What the fuck?
He's just doing some light racial phonology.
Sassy normal.
Totally normal.
There's no...
Wait a second.
Whoa.
That's cool.
That's bad.
What does an Irish guy's head look like?
I'm sure there's not a lot of room.
What if a Korean guy's skull had little slits?
Is that what you're looking for?
You go, oh my God.
The orbital bone.
What is that?
Just a dropkick Murphy's album?
Is that all we have outside of our heads?
The pogues floating around our brain.
It's just the shoulder tattoo of a Boston firefighter.
But when will you stop doing stand-up?
What age?
65 if I'm lucky.
When they do not buy another ticket.
I'll be done at 60, 65.
What do you think would be the next chapter of your life then?
After that?
Yeah, what do you do then?
Dan, I'm 52.
You do the thing.
I'm 52.
You're not going to quit at 60.
Really?
Yeah, because I'm 52 right now.
I can't even imagine quitting at 60.
What about 65?
No, I think 70.
Kevin Neyland, I'm done.
See, you say this, but I think you're just like me in this regard.
You'll want to do stand-up performance or something like that until they tell
you.
I bet there's a form of podcasting when I'm like 65, 70 where I can do it from
the comfort
of my own home, get the creative outlet, be funny, because I'm going to want to
be funny
still.
But stand-up with the traveling and writing a new hour and putting all the
effort in, I
think a while ago I was like, if I can make nine hours of published stand-up
throughout
my whole career, I'm good.
Yeah, then you're good.
I feel like I did it.
Justin said almost the exact same thing.
Remember, we were backstage and he goes, "I'm working on my six hour," or
something like
that.
And he goes, "I think this is it," because he goes, "I want to," for hours.
Yeah.
He goes, "I want to look at it like a discography."
Yes.
And he goes, "I want to be proud of all of them."
And he should be.
All his shit is great.
And he was like, "When I reach the thing I want to be at," he goes, "Then I don't
put
out hours anymore."
Because you save your legacy.