Name: Rudy Discovers That Bobby Lee's A Veteran! | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2023-10-13T15:00:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Rudy Discovers That Bobby Lee's A Veteran! | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-10-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Rudy Discovers That Bobby Lee's A Veteran! | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-10-13. Transcript available.

dude yeah i can't believe i haven't talked about this what there is a fucking
raccoon that's got
some fucking balls this i'm in my house dude he's sitting on my fence the other
night yeah i go
outside ah he's staring at me yeah go go but why get out of here come here come
here you can have
them you want me to bring them to your house but here's the thing because he
goes through the trash
he knocks it over and they spill shit everywhere i don't want my trash on the
ground i know but if
you say come here come here you could be friends you don't you see i gotta no
new friends as drake
said no new friends what i'm saying to you dude you think i want a coon as a
friend that's what i'm
saying you think i want some coon in my house yeah as my friend it has that
vibe dude first of all my
dog is full black the raccoon is a fucking mix the raccoon is barack obama i
know but the raccoon is
barack obama yeah which i like yeah but my dog because you don't you don't
follow my dog is full
black okay i can't say a joke right there you can't like i don't want to my god
i'm giving you so much
i know but he i'm literally setting you up for a joke and for our fans at home
we're getting censored
by by fancy yeah yeah we're trying to give you a good black joke there i gave
it to him right there
all right so you i'll give you the joke what you're i'll give you the joke okay
are you telling me
that your dog is full black yes and the raccoon is half black half black half
white half black half
white yeah that's what you're telling me i like the full black one much more
whoa no what i'm saying is
yeah what you're saying is instead of pushing shoe shoeing away the raccoon
invite him in what i'm
saying is have you the dodo bird right on right people have raccoons as pets
and they're the cutest
little critters in the world maybe what is a dodo bird what does that have to
do with it it's a it's
a website no no dodo the dodo rescue dodo dodo rescue oh oh yeah yeah yeah yeah
not dodo bird
raccoons as pets yeah that's usually like in it's usually illegal and it's like
in foreign countries
like in asia or something where no it's only legal in 16 states to own pet raccoons
so 16 of the 50
states said yes yeah it's california one of them no fucking way no way no
fucking way in this state
you can't you can't they let the gays get married here they're gonna not let
you have a raccoon
oh i see the logic no look at this texas florida tennessee nebraska arkansas
south dakota illinois my
home oklahoma wisconsin wyoming vermont new jersey those are the only ones
surprise well i'm actually
quite surprised about uh vermont vermont you think that was a bernie thing yeah
that was bernie loves
raccoons we're gonna have raccoons so just kill it then thank you no yes yeah
shoot in the head
with a shotgun thank you yeah no you know what a little brains i really do love
i do love
the they're so cute but they're vicious little fucking animals but i want you
to pull up a clip
this isn't this is it's gonna make you cry are you ready to get emotional today
i love it
woman saves raccoon on side of road oh here we go this made me cry on tiktok
hold on scroll down scroll down hold on let me see if i can see her that one
right there second video
second video second video you ready to cry yeah go ahead play it full screen
and let me cry
let's get some tunes okay well because the music is gonna make you cry i'm
getting horny yeah me too
well yeah she fucks it it's at the beginning oh yeah and then when she's done
then she saves it
she's trying to save it but it doesn't know it thinks it's gonna hurt her
found a leather jacket used it because he was trying to bite her he didn't he
thinks he thinks
she's trying to hurt him because he already got hit by yeah i know dude and he's
dying
okay
why can't you do that with your raccoon that's it that gets me man did you read
the last line no
she said the the i like the white part of him not the black part that's what
she said i'm protecting
the white part not the black i was thinking that no it says i'm just trying to
give him some comfort
as he passes oh he died yeah dude but look what it says just trying to give him
some comfort as he
passes and isn't this what we all want in this world a little bit of comfort as
we pass no i want to be
alone you want to die alone yeah because if he was stayed on the road well you
were the one that said
if he stayed on the road jimmy fucking carter you like laying in the room with
his fucking dying wife
i'm i'm saying people want comfort as they pass but if he was on the road a
truck would have killed
him right away no he's in pain right now dude she's giving him comfort as he
passes you know how
much pain is in right now i can't wait to be there when you die don't i'm gonna
tell you something
when you're dying yeah i'm gonna get you naked every day i'm gonna scrub every
inch of your body i'm
gonna dry what is it dry brush i'm gonna dry brush every part of your body when
you die i'm gonna comb
your little hair i'm gonna wax your little mustache carlos what's up i'm gonna
teach you blinking
language okay morse code okay because i'm not gonna be able to feel my arms or
my legs and be
able to talk so we're gonna learn this okay wait a minute when you're dying
yeah oh you think he'll
last this guy's dead in a decade 10 years max no i'm just saying maybe in five
years i get you're
gonna be it's gonna take you 40 more years to die we'll live longer then he can't
why his behavior
his lifestyle you know andreas will still live for a long time he's moving back
to spain right
she won't be around either no see i'll do blinking language right cyanide oh no
yeah yeah cyanide wait
a minute if you get to okay so listen if you get to 100 and you're dying you
don't want to be assisted
you want to just die on your own because i'm doing that i told you i'm jumping
in the lake but you
you love attention you love people you love family you know what i've thought
about doing what is
vlogging it vlogging your death are you going to monetize it yeah who's going
to get the money
somebody that i like somebody you care about yeah but i would i would do like a
you know what we don't
see enough people like people dying on the internet yeah no but people like
feel like we do no but
people just going oh this is what i'm feeling oh yeah this you know i mean you
mean vlogging
their death you're not gonna be able to talk how would you you'd want to vlog
your death yeah i'd be
like okay so i thought i was gonna die a second ago right because my my you
know what i mean my
pancreas you know i mean it feels like it's on fire and then you know my
eyeballs start jittering
there it goes again it's jittering okay oh i'm still lying mr lee it's time for
your bath
oh this bitch again mr lee it's time for your bath okay where do you want me to
scrub today
where would you like to you know okay flip over my asshole again a little butthole
scrub for mr lee
no not that yes that's why i'm gonna do it please and i'm gonna use my special
brush the one that
doesn't have any bristles uh what is this fancy so spain won won the world cup
the female
world cup and then time time time time time time you can't you can't jump over
that spain won the
female world cup yeah so here in america you have to that's important okay you
can't just go spain
won the world cup the world cup the female world cup and then go on right yeah
so i mean i'm gonna
the men's world cup isn't playing now i know that's what i'm saying though for
the listeners
i i just i already assumed there was a female world cup i don't know but for
the listeners
he's stumbly rumbly bumbly he's drunk again and he's all right he's adding in
stuff late yeah
anyway they won the female world cup they won it and the president of the spanish
federation
kissed one of the players yeah on the cheek no on the mouth on the cheek that
looks like cheek
well that that's probably just the cheek photo yeah photo they probably don't
post and he just
you know light the whole press and on fire she said that she didn't like it oh
she said she didn't
like it and is it traditional to kiss on the mouth in spain no well there is he's
kissing
another yeah that's that's dalai lama vibes yeah yeah that's dalai lama bob's i
gotta tell you this
guy let me see let me see solo photos of him let me see if i'd let him kiss so
what do you guys think
that's him he's handsome no he's not that little butt chin no yeah and that's
the girl wait a minute
so he kisses this one he kissed a bunch of other girls did he kiss anybody else
on the lips or just
her yes her oh well she was the message she was the captain oh she was the
captain the one
well you gotta kiss the captain you kiss the captain how about this not grab
the head
just kiss no no head i mean look at the way he's grabbing the head both heads
on the thing
she has nowhere to move right what did she say what's her statement she said i
didn't like that
and then everybody asked for him to step down and then when the president of spain
the you know the
whole press even worldwide is he's the president of the spain spanish women's
team the yeah the
spanish federation spanish federation yeah and so the president men and women's
so the president of
spain said you got to go yes he goes in the president spain you know what he
really said he's
like you know i like this behavior yeah this is what do we do yeah don't grab
the head next but
you can't grab the head if you if you just kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss
it's okay not because
if you turn like this you get the cheat the rule is always not on camera now
this is the prime minister of
spain yeah this guy i'd let kiss on the kiss me on the mouth right wow so rudy
if this guy kissed you
after a soccer game are you letting him do it yeah right double standard this
is my point yeah this is
my point mr handsome they call him oh he is and look at our guy go back to that
with mr death yeah
man look at there's a picture of uh mr handsome and uh uh uh weekend at bernie's
yeah jesus christ
we gotta get a new guy why can't we get someone that's relatively we gotta get
a new guy we gotta
get a thousand year old men yeah yeah is everyone have to be a thousand look at
how young and handsome
that guy is roberto beto beto aurora yeah he's good looking he's not gonna win
he can't win though
no i can't win we're talking about viable options of people that could win go
let me get more pictures
of this guy what's his name pedro sanchez pedro sanchez how old was he when he
got into office
um 50 50 years old yeah yeah why can't we get out who's that his daughter no
that's the princess of
spain she's the princess of spain carlo carlos is bookmarking the princess of
spain so he can look
her up again perv by the way she's not that's going to the military huh she's
going to the military
they have to they have to yeah they don't have a choice wow i'm definitely
joining the spanish military
that's the spanish military are those fucking military-issued pants look at
those things
i guess that was the hollywood gay pipe right so it looks the same that
basically is the spanish
military yeah yeah you know those you know those straps are for to hold their
head while they're
fucking blowing but they're also not even camouflaged well we can see we can
see them no they want to be
seen oh they want to be seen yeah wow they're so handsome you know you know why
they have their chin
up you don't get anything in their eyes wow clever by the way their shirts are
open with
suspenders on yeah i mean that's what a military guy look no no wonder there's
no way that's the
is that really the military it is it really is no it's not yes it is no it's
not there's no way
wow wow so that's like our navy yeah no stop that is insane it's that's not
them there's no way yes it
is the spanish military fire force spanish legion it's called the legion yeah
does the philippines have a military yeah look look a filipino military
i think they probably got some leftover stuff from us yeah yeah yeah i wouldn't
with those guys
those guys no they're insane they're insane they'll throw a box of spiders at
you
they'll get you good yeah what's this what's going on here with the face it's
lady gaga
it's yay
no you wouldn't with the filipino military they'd you up yeah spanish military
though i'll take those
guys on any day that's nuts ah who's that that's the philippine leader
president president right now
yeah see those are proper suits that's what the military should wear buttoned
all the way up
yeah you guys got your chest hairs showing did you guys have to do like um cadet
like military
oh yeah yeah we all do yeah we have to do it when you're 12 when you're 12 to
15 you do cadet do
you know that here yeah oh yeah i have to go to boot camp and we had especially
if your dad catches
you smoking weed in the garage yeah then you definitely have to go to boot camp
so i did it when
i was 12 we went i went to montana i had to do the mud crawl you were mud
crawling well you didn't have
much oh yeah because that was before you yeah you're years before for for 20
miles we had to crawl
in a field of just mud mud yeah yeah and you just you know what i mean it's in
your face it's on
your forearms it's your forearms and your knees yeah and even if you get up
like that they kick your
head back down push you right back in right and go young man back then they're
like chong
yeah change your face back in the mud and they push you can't breathe you can't
breathe and you're 12
years old you're a young kid yeah and then you don't sleep for five days they
put you in a cave and
i had to go i had to go what was yours like it was it was like uh it was like a
camp almost it was on a lake
and uh every night we would go into our little cabins and we had to we had to
play hide go seek
and the counselors uh would come after you and if they found you they got you
and
what and if they get you they got you they got you yeah how
well if they get you they got you because when i did it right the mud crawl we
didn't have the
hiding lc they just got you they got like what do you mean by gotcha they well
they would say it
gotcha gotcha right and you're like i've been here like i didn't even get to
hide gotcha but they got
yeah right and then that's it what no he needs to say gotcha no and then and
then your pants are
removed right it's a phrase you don't understand in the same way that uh you
know
lobby though or whatever the mcdonald thing get you you gotcha is our thing is
our thing once
they get you they got you right it's an american phrase the pants down and they
buttfuck you
no what is wrong with you it's a cadet military are you out of your mind gross
gross you said pull
down exactly yes to give you a little tight little spanky tight little spanky
spank yeah gotcha gotcha
they spank you with their with their dicks

Rudy Discovers That Bobby Lee's A Veteran! | Bad Friends Clips

dude yeah i can't believe i haven't talked about this what there is a fucking
raccoon that's got
some fucking balls this i'm in my house dude he's sitting on my fence the other
night yeah i go
outside ah he's staring at me yeah go go but why get out of here come here come
here you can have
them you want me to bring them to your house but here's the thing because he
goes through the trash
he knocks it over and they spill shit everywhere i don't want my trash on the
ground i know but if
you say come here come here you could be friends you don't you see i gotta no
new friends as drake
said no new friends what i'm saying to you dude you think i want a coon as a
friend that's what i'm
saying you think i want some coon in my house yeah as my friend it has that
vibe dude first of all my
dog is full black the raccoon is a fucking mix the raccoon is barack obama i
know but the raccoon is
barack obama yeah which i like yeah but my dog because you don't you don't
follow my dog is full
black okay i can't say a joke right there you can't like i don't want to my god
i'm giving you so much
i know but he i'm literally setting you up for a joke and for our fans at home
we're getting censored
by by fancy yeah yeah we're trying to give you a good black joke there i gave
it to him right there
all right so you i'll give you the joke what you're i'll give you the joke okay
are you telling me
that your dog is full black yes and the raccoon is half black half black half
white half black half
white yeah that's what you're telling me i like the full black one much more
whoa no what i'm saying is
yeah what you're saying is instead of pushing shoe shoeing away the raccoon
invite him in what i'm
saying is have you the dodo bird right on right people have raccoons as pets
and they're the cutest
little critters in the world maybe what is a dodo bird what does that have to
do with it it's a it's
a website no no dodo the dodo rescue dodo dodo rescue oh oh yeah yeah yeah yeah
not dodo bird
raccoons as pets yeah that's usually like in it's usually illegal and it's like
in foreign countries
like in asia or something where no it's only legal in 16 states to own pet raccoons
so 16 of the 50
states said yes yeah it's california one of them no fucking way no way no
fucking way in this state
you can't you can't they let the gays get married here they're gonna not let
you have a raccoon
oh i see the logic no look at this texas florida tennessee nebraska arkansas
south dakota illinois my
home oklahoma wisconsin wyoming vermont new jersey those are the only ones
surprise well i'm actually
quite surprised about uh vermont vermont you think that was a bernie thing yeah
that was bernie loves
raccoons we're gonna have raccoons so just kill it then thank you no yes yeah
shoot in the head
with a shotgun thank you yeah no you know what a little brains i really do love
i do love
the they're so cute but they're vicious little fucking animals but i want you
to pull up a clip
this isn't this is it's gonna make you cry are you ready to get emotional today
i love it
woman saves raccoon on side of road oh here we go this made me cry on tiktok
hold on scroll down scroll down hold on let me see if i can see her that one
right there second video
second video second video you ready to cry yeah go ahead play it full screen
and let me cry
let's get some tunes okay well because the music is gonna make you cry i'm
getting horny yeah me too
well yeah she fucks it it's at the beginning oh yeah and then when she's done
then she saves it
she's trying to save it but it doesn't know it thinks it's gonna hurt her
found a leather jacket used it because he was trying to bite her he didn't he
thinks he thinks
she's trying to hurt him because he already got hit by yeah i know dude and he's
dying
okay
why can't you do that with your raccoon that's it that gets me man did you read
the last line no
she said the the i like the white part of him not the black part that's what
she said i'm protecting
the white part not the black i was thinking that no it says i'm just trying to
give him some comfort
as he passes oh he died yeah dude but look what it says just trying to give him
some comfort as he
passes and isn't this what we all want in this world a little bit of comfort as
we pass no i want to be
alone you want to die alone yeah because if he was stayed on the road well you
were the one that said
if he stayed on the road jimmy fucking carter you like laying in the room with
his fucking dying wife
i'm i'm saying people want comfort as they pass but if he was on the road a
truck would have killed
him right away no he's in pain right now dude she's giving him comfort as he
passes you know how
much pain is in right now i can't wait to be there when you die don't i'm gonna
tell you something
when you're dying yeah i'm gonna get you naked every day i'm gonna scrub every
inch of your body i'm
gonna dry what is it dry brush i'm gonna dry brush every part of your body when
you die i'm gonna comb
your little hair i'm gonna wax your little mustache carlos what's up i'm gonna
teach you blinking
language okay morse code okay because i'm not gonna be able to feel my arms or
my legs and be
able to talk so we're gonna learn this okay wait a minute when you're dying
yeah oh you think he'll
last this guy's dead in a decade 10 years max no i'm just saying maybe in five
years i get you're
gonna be it's gonna take you 40 more years to die we'll live longer then he can't
why his behavior
his lifestyle you know andreas will still live for a long time he's moving back
to spain right
she won't be around either no see i'll do blinking language right cyanide oh no
yeah yeah cyanide wait
a minute if you get to okay so listen if you get to 100 and you're dying you
don't want to be assisted
you want to just die on your own because i'm doing that i told you i'm jumping
in the lake but you
you love attention you love people you love family you know what i've thought
about doing what is
vlogging it vlogging your death are you going to monetize it yeah who's going
to get the money
somebody that i like somebody you care about yeah but i would i would do like a
you know what we don't
see enough people like people dying on the internet yeah no but people like
feel like we do no but
people just going oh this is what i'm feeling oh yeah this you know i mean you
mean vlogging
their death you're not gonna be able to talk how would you you'd want to vlog
your death yeah i'd be
like okay so i thought i was gonna die a second ago right because my my you
know what i mean my
pancreas you know i mean it feels like it's on fire and then you know my
eyeballs start jittering
there it goes again it's jittering okay oh i'm still lying mr lee it's time for
your bath
oh this bitch again mr lee it's time for your bath okay where do you want me to
scrub today
where would you like to you know okay flip over my asshole again a little butthole
scrub for mr lee
no not that yes that's why i'm gonna do it please and i'm gonna use my special
brush the one that
doesn't have any bristles uh what is this fancy so spain won won the world cup
the female
world cup and then time time time time time time you can't you can't jump over
that spain won the
female world cup yeah so here in america you have to that's important okay you
can't just go spain
won the world cup the world cup the female world cup and then go on right yeah
so i mean i'm gonna
the men's world cup isn't playing now i know that's what i'm saying though for
the listeners
i i just i already assumed there was a female world cup i don't know but for
the listeners
he's stumbly rumbly bumbly he's drunk again and he's all right he's adding in
stuff late yeah
anyway they won the female world cup they won it and the president of the spanish
federation
kissed one of the players yeah on the cheek no on the mouth on the cheek that
looks like cheek
well that that's probably just the cheek photo yeah photo they probably don't
post and he just
you know light the whole press and on fire she said that she didn't like it oh
she said she didn't
like it and is it traditional to kiss on the mouth in spain no well there is he's
kissing
another yeah that's that's dalai lama vibes yeah yeah that's dalai lama bob's i
gotta tell you this
guy let me see let me see solo photos of him let me see if i'd let him kiss so
what do you guys think
that's him he's handsome no he's not that little butt chin no yeah and that's
the girl wait a minute
so he kisses this one he kissed a bunch of other girls did he kiss anybody else
on the lips or just
her yes her oh well she was the message she was the captain oh she was the
captain the one
well you gotta kiss the captain you kiss the captain how about this not grab
the head
just kiss no no head i mean look at the way he's grabbing the head both heads
on the thing
she has nowhere to move right what did she say what's her statement she said i
didn't like that
and then everybody asked for him to step down and then when the president of spain
the you know the
whole press even worldwide is he's the president of the spain spanish women's
team the yeah the
spanish federation spanish federation yeah and so the president men and women's
so the president of
spain said you got to go yes he goes in the president spain you know what he
really said he's
like you know i like this behavior yeah this is what do we do yeah don't grab
the head next but
you can't grab the head if you if you just kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss
it's okay not because
if you turn like this you get the cheat the rule is always not on camera now
this is the prime minister of
spain yeah this guy i'd let kiss on the kiss me on the mouth right wow so rudy
if this guy kissed you
after a soccer game are you letting him do it yeah right double standard this
is my point yeah this is
my point mr handsome they call him oh he is and look at our guy go back to that
with mr death yeah
man look at there's a picture of uh mr handsome and uh uh uh weekend at bernie's
yeah jesus christ
we gotta get a new guy why can't we get someone that's relatively we gotta get
a new guy we gotta
get a thousand year old men yeah yeah is everyone have to be a thousand look at
how young and handsome
that guy is roberto beto beto aurora yeah he's good looking he's not gonna win
he can't win though
no i can't win we're talking about viable options of people that could win go
let me get more pictures
of this guy what's his name pedro sanchez pedro sanchez how old was he when he
got into office
um 50 50 years old yeah yeah why can't we get out who's that his daughter no
that's the princess of
spain she's the princess of spain carlo carlos is bookmarking the princess of
spain so he can look
her up again perv by the way she's not that's going to the military huh she's
going to the military
they have to they have to yeah they don't have a choice wow i'm definitely
joining the spanish military
that's the spanish military are those fucking military-issued pants look at
those things
i guess that was the hollywood gay pipe right so it looks the same that
basically is the spanish
military yeah yeah you know those you know those straps are for to hold their
head while they're
fucking blowing but they're also not even camouflaged well we can see we can
see them no they want to be
seen oh they want to be seen yeah wow they're so handsome you know you know why
they have their chin
up you don't get anything in their eyes wow clever by the way their shirts are
open with
suspenders on yeah i mean that's what a military guy look no no wonder there's
no way that's the
is that really the military it is it really is no it's not yes it is no it's
not there's no way
wow wow so that's like our navy yeah no stop that is insane it's that's not
them there's no way yes it
is the spanish military fire force spanish legion it's called the legion yeah
does the philippines have a military yeah look look a filipino military
i think they probably g