Name: She Wore What On A Date??
Uploaded: 2023-11-09T16:00:09.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'She Wore What On A Date??' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'She Wore What On A Date??' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-09. Transcript available.

give that money to the girls no i don't want to give it to the girls they have
enough but look at
them they do not yeah look at them they do not before the show pumpkin spice
girls are they
pumpkin spice girls yeah the pumpkin spice girls they're the look at them they're
crush they
crochet well one of them knits yeah yeah yeah guess which one they probably
have an ottoman
do you have an ottoman what do you mean i have an ottoman at the house gay gay
who's gay here
right well it's easier to blow my boyfriend when my knees are on the ottoman i
don't want to go on
the ground i also bet you i bet you money you girls right have nooks yeah they
have a nook a reading
nook a reading nook a breakfast nook and you probably have candles that smell
nice right that i don't i
love i refuse no thoughts and no candles these are all great and you probably
have a barrel of rice
somewhere i mean yeah we all have our thing we all have our thing okay all
right all right anyway
you don't have good smelling candles in the house i actually do yeah i have i
just bought some uh
i bought a gigantic santel one i love those it's a gigantic santel 33 from you
know the
la labo yeah yeah yeah i got a gigantic it was so expensive give me what six
seven hundred dollars
i don't want to talk about it now because of the tell me how much tell me how
much the big why about
two candles and a gigantic one and then two sprays i spent about 400 bucks
maybe oh that's not bad i
i mean it's a lot of money but i thought it was for some reason in my mind i
thought that was going to
be one of those just fyi i don't really have a lot of money okay let's go out
there okay yeah okay let's
move on i thought by the way i thought when oliver was here he was going to get
you to put down the
vape he did make it seem like he was going to get you to stop vaping well this
whose fault is this
the guest in the room whose fault was jules wait who whose fault is that why i'm
smoking jules again
carlos thank you well i mean i know thank you you me up again well you know you
me up
how did i you up okay i'll tell you this okay you tell me everything 100
milligram edible
it got me whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa a couple years ago i'm sober now almost
two years you know it
lifted me into another level of weed use and i've never gone back so he forced
you to eat it well he
offered it to me and you know i didn't want to deny it so i put you at another
level of consciousness
yeah i like it but yeah good and like you've also and you're probably dreaming
better that night i did
dream really well you're welcome and then he employed you and pays you and i
employ you and pay your bills
and yeah and whatnot and such thank you for everything did you get your car
fixed you know he got his car
keyed oh the first week this guy's got a car it gets keyed yeah this guy you
got it fixed no no you're
never gonna get fixed that's what i said like my you know my car that's what i
said well you're
never gonna get that fixed i'm never gonna get my fix everybody at the comedy
store there's a
running bet on if you're if you're gonna are you really yeah over there is like
just let me fix it
for you yeah no he wants yeah he wants he wants to fix it yeah yeah i feel like
i wish we get to show
a photo to the fans of your car it's hysterical you know when you see a car
people at home you
know when you see a car that's in one of the junkyards and it gets smushed from
one of those
machines his is like if they did it to the sides they smashed the sides and
they picked it up and moved it
well i know it's not your fault but it's hysterical it's been that way for what
six
months a year yeah i just okay i mean i just don't know what to do well do you
want me to do it for
you because i know you you gave me a guy then i had my guy call the guy we made
an appointment
they go okay come at three o'clock or whatever whatever right yeah i just never
showed up well
that's so by the way i guess you have to show up that's my guy's so good he'll
fix it for i mean
it's i know the guy we contacted that guy that guy was like yeah and when we go
on tour the next
time this time we're getting it fixed we're getting it fixed i like it all
right tell us about your little
condition the other night oh i went on a date with this girl yeah and she shows
up wearing a
tank top that says i love cum stop if you in public yeah in echo echo park oh
man i get back in my car
and go home no she's hot why he's italian that means she you're gonna walk
around with a girl that
has a shirt on that says i love cum let me say something okay if i'm a smoothie
huh if i'm a smoothie
you're not i know but let's suppose i was a smoothie hypothetically i see it
now you see it right
and i'm like you know a banana smoothie oh yeah right and um chocolate lovers
and and i want
someone to drink me right i'm gonna drink it and i'm on i'm on hinge i match
with a girl oh i thought
you said unhinged right so i true you know i mean they don't have leg smoothies
no right but you know
i mean i get to the house i knock right and the door opens and she goes i love
smoothies or i drink
smoothies or whatever i would be excited that's what i'm saying right but in
this scenario yeah it's
too real you have cum inside you yeah she likes the cum right you like it when
the cum is being
retrieved from your body you know yeah you don't like it when it's released
from your body no but
it's more fun when i don't really know how much she loves it yeah yeah but what
if she didn't like it
at all let me give you a better example okay come on all right sorry that was
when i go to my family's
no it's a great example when i go to my family's house yeah right like my
extended family yeah and
they cook a dish that i like yeah that's a fun surprise uh-huh i don't need to
know the whole
time that the dish is on its way i like to be surprised right i like to get
through but what if
they bring out poo what see that's what i'm saying oh you're thinking they
might flip it on you yeah
they might flip it on you right so what's your favorite dish of all time no the
dish that you're
at home and you you know it's a surprise or whatever lasagna oh great love
right so you're sitting there
right you smell lasagna right you're at the dinner table right they light the
candles you know what are
the candles for though they smell good in the room yeah the whole house smells
like lasagna what are you
doing yeah yeah and there's like the flavor of the candles pumpkin spicy no i
don't like them oh whatever
okay okay i'm blowing them out and you're like you're looking at the nook and
you know what book
am i gonna read and you i'm gonna put my feet up on that ottoman right look
what she knitted right
and then in your head right and you're like i smell the lasagnas coming right
and then they bring
out poo so what i'm saying is is that wait a minute if your aunt had lasagnas
coming on her shirt
you had some weird dates bobby wait a minute is it poo or is it cake that's a
good show is it poo or is
it cake i i think i don't think my i don't think it could you got it what i was
saying no one else
on planet earth understood what i was saying but you know what imagine if you
had to eat it first
is it poo or is it cake you're not allowed to cut it right i know what you're
saying i know what you're
saying okay good let's hear the rest of this same date a girl who wrote i love
cum on her shirt which
by the way it's not sold that's you know i can't scoop that up at american
eagle that's a custom shirt
she had made well yeah she told me she went down to the santa monica pier for
the same guy that does
like caricatures and he's like you want a shirt what do you want it to say yeah
she liked it it
said i love calm and it did get me a little excited but then to be fair you do
forget about it after a
while you forget that she's wearing a shirt that says i love cum yeah because
she has a jacket and
like it just says i love c for a second so you could kind of forget about the
whole yeah i wouldn't
forget also the c is in the middle of the shirt yeah it's a c um the come goes
up no it's vertical
it's c-u-m oh it's a oh okay okay okay okay okay so what i also want to know is
where did you take
this human on a date oh so we went on a walk with uh archie my dog at a park oh
my god then not to
a restaurant or a facility a bar that was that was her idea i'm normally not
the oh let's go on a walk
guy like that's crazy that's not crazy i think that's a nice date so i never do
that i'm just like
meet me at a bar or restaurant no no no take a walk okay yeah so we go to a bar
i can't bring my
dog in so i go why don't we just go to my place oh trick a little trickery
trickery no no it's a
little trickery that's wizardry at hand yeah yeah yeah well she invited me to
her place so i was like
no we'll go to my place i knew my place would be nice that's expellius simonus
you you did a little
fucking trickery on her right gary potter dude thank you dude it's belly a simia
still expellius simonus yeah