Name: What Is A Milking Table?
Uploaded: 2023-11-22T16:00:28.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'What Is A Milking Table?' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'What Is A Milking Table?' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-22. Transcript available.

you're friends with brody jenner yeah how long have you guys been friends i
love his coffee
he makes coffee yeah let's see all right so i just came out to make us both
some coffee and we are
out of almond milk but i did find one thing now i hear great things about
breast milk i hear it's
very nutritious i hear it's very delicious he's putting his fiance's breast
milk in his coffee
in her coffee too though in her own probably i mean if he's into it
now how do we feel about this i'm okay with that i would do it and not
surprised don't like i act
like i just ate your your uh your foot chips an hour ago he had a splash of
unconventional creamer
to him and his partner is he getting canceled for this or what no why would he
get there's nothing
wrong about it i mean it's i don't i think it's cool to for the baby to drink
for nutritional
purposes but unless that espresso shot is for his baby would you drink your
wife's breast milk and
coffee i've always wanted to try breast milk you've never tried it i'll do a
shot of it yeah you never
tried it there's a place on melrose that sells tit milk it's called tit milk
yeah what does it taste
like does it take i've never tasted it who's sweet you know that there's a
store in the philippines
that sells breast milk you've had it yeah but my mom but you don't remember as
a baby because when
she gave birth to my youngest oh yeah because she's much older than her her
brother you tried it or she
gave it to you i tried it shut up did you drink did you steal it or did was she
asleep and you took it when
she was she was just resting she and and rudy when she was pumping milk i just
asked her oh can i
try it and she just and you sucked it from the tit say you sucked it from the
tit do you suck it from the tit or
say you sucked it from the tit i sucked it from did you really good yeah okay
you sucked it and it
tasted sweet hmm huh but not were you 17. yeah no like 12. was this during your
crush with your cousin
12. i i have i don't i don't think there's anything wrong with this if he him
and his wife that's fine
it's just unusual i would just drink my coffee black that day yeah me too i'm
not gonna put my wife's
breast milk what i have a confession here we go here we go this is the stuff we
love go ahead
i had some this summer you had breast milk this summer whom's from a lady that
came over to my
house so a pregnant woman or a woman who i mean a woman who had just given
birth she just gave birth
and she's milking yeah she was milking and that was like part of the appeal i
was like oh like an
extra thing time out did you ask for like is this an a service you order a a
woman who is this a thing
you do no it wasn't this is a service he orders women that just give birth to
come over so you can
suck on their breast milk it was an escort and like an extra thing was like oh
that's a bonus add-on
oh major major is that like a fetish in the escort category there's a fetish of
people who want to
drink breast milk with their escort it's like while you're doing things she'll
like squeeze them and
like milk goes everywhere how much more money is that than the regular like a
hundred dollar add-on
it's like oh it's an easy way to make money if you just had a kid i just it's
an easy way to make
money if you sound like a sad pimp yeah you know hey baby it's an easy way to
make money if you just
had a kid go ahead go ahead go ahead and honk that titty all over that dude i
thought it was really
hot so when brody jenner is like doing the coffee thing i was like oh i would
definitely explain to me
when you're hooking up with this person yeah you need help you do yeah you do
it's just more liquids
you need help man did you drink it while you were hooking up some guy i went
like and it was a sweet
like rudy said it was slightly sweet it was like yeah oh that sounds good
though sounds good yeah
sometimes you get parched in the middle of it i know something is good you know
you run i oh i if it
was sour then we'd have a problem no but maybe that i like sour stuff too like
a sour patch kid love a
sour patch kid little sour patch tit yeah so you hooked up with this person you
did this she gave
you some breast milk during hooking up and after and then you did it again was
this your last time
or is this i had seen her before and last time she did it too but let me ask
you something have you
have you eaten poop cum i've never eaten cum why are you looking at me like i
because we don't believe
you really yeah i've never eaten cum that wasn't my own that wasn't your own i've
tried my own never
when did you try your own i mean like in my lifetime when it wasn't like last
month i didn't want to
know it could have been the last year i think the past couple years yeah we got
to get you to a
facility yeah with real doctors with a real doctor you can't go to one of those
ones on sunset yeah
i didn't know that was bad to try it's not bad but it's not good either you
know it's like liking
your second cousin it's not bad but it's not good either yeah okay like we said
to her yeah thanks for
being honest i appreciate it yeah but i do think that that's a crazy thing that
there's add-ons now
sex is sex is not good enough you need to suck tit milk to like amp it up but
it's also like a
performance like while you're having it's like a show exactly you need more
than just the sex
and the companionship at this point really i i need a whole production see this
is what my fear is
bob we talked about this i'm afraid he's gonna get to like it's like choke
stuff oh yeah and in excess
yes and then in excess and god bless in excess oh wow so i'm afraid you're
gonna go to the next level
yeah that's don't do that please don't do that i'm not because it'll be
embarrassing for bad friends
yes well it'd be make for a good pod it would be nice yeah but i'll say this i
went to a store in
new york that was an a high-end sex store in soho really high-end like super
super dope high because
when you walk in you don't think it's a sex store that's what's the cool thing
about it but the toys
were crazy creative and there was one of them where you can tie yourself up uh
like a little
machine where you can wrap ropes around yourself around your head and your neck
and your arms
like tie yourself up because you don't sometimes i think people need someone to
tie them up
and you can you can still perform with toys and stuff like that there's a
harness for a toy
wow i kind of wanted to buy it for you yeah i would never it was four grand i
mean you know what i would
use what what it was mike pence you know hang my you know the what they brought
to the january 6th the
the guillotine no one of those no mike pence one a news yeah i do mike mike you
can give me a mike pence
news why does he make them no but they would they did that didn't they do that
on january 6th
yeah you know but he should have used that and branded it and then made dude
that would have been
great mp nooses oh my god those would have flown off the shelves
mp noose
it would have dude get yourself an mp noose yeah dude look at that thing dude
that was soon traitor yeah wow what is this you sent me this oh yeah find this
video just oh yeah
i love this
so this is this asshole on youtube who like goes up to people and he fucks with
them you know like
pranks all these guys that do pranks yeah yeah so i hate these guys hate this
fucking guy these guys
puts a phone up to zero the guy says stop he says get away stop he keeps doing
it now look what the guy
does pulls out a gun shoots him pulls out a gun and shoots him that was good
that was good that was
good that was good that was good thank you yeah yeah shoots the guy and they go
by the way the kid
lives he does guy lives yeah they took this case to court and if i'm not
incorrect the shooter won
he did not get charged because it was an act of self-defense the jury found
that this guy was acting
in self-defense and i love it i love it too because leave that guy the fuck
alone no dude leave him
alone you see those ones in home depot where like a guy will come up with a
fucking thing
yeah right and scare people you should be able to shoot that yeah shoot that
guy shoot that guy
yeah yeah no i'm not even kidding and you know what's so fucking annoying that
this so the guy
got off on that's the best thing i've ever seen but the guy got off on the
charge the kid lived he
didn't kill him yeah if he killed him i think it would have been a different
story why well because
it's murder i mean it's okay you know it's murder i know i get it now right
yeah i get it now
you know murder right yeah but this idiot this youtube kid says i'm not gonna
stop doing it
now he's like oh no i'm still gonna i'm still gonna keep doing pranks that's
what he said
after court there he is right there and then why do they always look like big
dumb fucking goons
look at this fucking big dumb still lives at home with his mom by the way the
guy who shot the gun
bravo aim up you know what i mean no no all right i'm just stomach this is a
bad ad for popeyes though
yeah yeah love that gun from popeyes