Name: Bobby In A Barbie World! | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2023-11-25T16:00:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby In A Barbie World! | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby In A Barbie World! | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-25. Transcript available.

and who sings it barbie aqua or like zoom into the lyrics and let me see if i
can get this
hiya barbie oh is that not the part of the lyrics i'm saying it to you it's the
beginning
of the song hiya barbie oh let's do this as a dialogue well we're trying right
now i'm trying
to all right all right okay hiya barbie hi ken you want to go for a ride sure
can jump in
i'm a barbie girl okay listen to the beat oh i thought i was just doing the
dialogue still
no that's the song i'm a barbie girl in a barbie world life in plastic it's
fantastic you can brush
my hair and dress me anywhere imagination life is your creation very good dude
that's very very good
okay come on barbie let's go party and then you have to go like this oh yeah
ready come on barbie
let's go party what what was that that was a real orgasm dude did you really
just pop one that's a
real orgasm dude when i do fucking orgasm thing and do it's real it does do it
again
come on barbie let's go party is that what you sound like when you shoot yeah
dude you don't like it i
do not much i do not but i'm not the girl so it doesn't matter well what i do
is i give them the
little um plug earplugs oh so they can't hear you i put them in right when i'm
about to come
oh i put them in do you know what carlos said to me last night no joke hey man
this area this area
that you live in has a ton of good prostitution spots oh my god did you say
that or am i making
that up or not no i did say in the suburbs what the fuck are you doing dude
well it's the yeah it's the
valley yeah but but he literally goes this is a hotbed of prostitution spots
did you say that i did
i did i did okay so don't make it sound like you didn't know i was embarrassed
of my words that's
why you said it to the entire party well i was just trying to tell you and some
everybody heard you
were outside talking out like you literally go this is a hotbed of prostitution
spots andrew i got to
tell you i woke up and i was i know you don't remember what happened last no i
remember a little
bit and i was like oh no did you get how did you get home i drove oh carlos
that's not okay
how am i supposed to get home uber they're back
you know what dude this is a barbie intervention i know you think this was a halloween
episode
this is actually an intervention we're sending you to barbie to barbie rehab oh
okay she's not there
dude that's really dangerous i'm being real i'm in a comedy way dude i want to
be real dude i'm very
disappointed in you oh my god no you mean oh my god dude you could have killed
somebody that's
fucking out of pocket bro well i could kill myself you should be more worried
about i could have killed
myself too that i mean if you were drunk and you died that's one thing i'd be
like ah that's sad
but if you really would you slaughtered a family yeah awful i'm calling you
right now let me see how you
react bob i haven't picked up yet i know i just like to talk to you oh
how long
bob carlos wait wait what who is this you don't have caller id it's me no andrew
yeah oh yeah
carlos left my party last night what was the numbers what the numbers from the
podcast last night
this week pretty good all right okay carlos left my house last night drunk he
sucked your house what
you said carlos sucked your house last night i gotta go
i mean that would probably yeah yeah yeah but but let's no driving i can't why
didn't you make the
cone drive you he wasn't he wasn't drinking he wasn't he had like a beer i'd
like six i know what you
did oh dude your uncle let me say this to our fans right now and we mean this
do not drink and drive
that's not okay fucking fucked up and also do that i didn't know you didn't
have a ride i know is that
your cousin your cousin's girlfriend was that your cousin's girlfriend he doesn't
have a girlfriend
who's that girl though then she's a single girl there's just girls that were
there there's people
that were there yeah she's pretty cute are you interested no but who is she you're
interested who
is she though well i'm not telling you on air okay but i mean are you
interested there was something
about her eyes i like the eyes too what the eyes i like when women's eyes are
close together yes this
is interesting i always date girls with cross eyes and close together what do
you mean she doesn't have
cross eyes they're like you know what she told me she's never been in a
relationship in her whole life
god bless she really are we talking about the same person yeah close eyes well
first of all carlos
was talking to a plant for like three quarters all right anyway um can i talk
about the spiritual
awakening now please i've been waiting i know but it's not funny it doesn't
matter but i want you to
ask questions if you you bet i will okay i'll do it as quick as i can because i
don't want to bore
the audience okay because it's not like there's no comedy well the build-up is
killing me so please do
it i'll start okay so check it out so a long time ago when i was 17 years old
um i got sober yeah well
that's it what do you guys think i'm kidding no so i got sober and i was i was
very active in you know
local san diego recovery scene yeah right i had a sponsor and you know and all
that stuff right and
so then after about five years i quit going to meetings right right and i
started doing stand-up
because it filled my heart right and then i just it got to the point where
years went by and i didn't
know anybody from the thing anymore from what thing oh from the recovery or
anything i didn't have a
single number i didn't know but i hadn't been to a meeting many many years and
then when i was 30
when i had almost 13 years of sobriety when did i relapsed where when i was on
that tv yeah that
was the first time you relapsed that's the first time right right so and i went
but that was a opiates
run that's bad i had a vicodin addiction pills are so so bad it was bad dude at
one point how many
vicodin pills were you taking a day do you remember probably anywhere 40
to 60. in a day yeah they said brett farve takes that i go i did i do pretty
far some numbers i've
hung out with him yeah yeah he does like i could throw a football he's always
like come on man take
one you're like far chill out dude i was thinking a lot and there's 40 is
insane and there was this
sketch guy i can't see his name no don't but he's like a 500 pound mexican dude
who's also fluffy no who also does sketch comedy gabriel iglesias no no it wasn't
a game right was doing
opioids yeah and he would like i lived on uh sanborn i remember right and i
would look out the window
and he would just roll down the hill here i come you know it's a roll down and
he had
fucking bags of pills joey diaz it's somebody like that yeah right anyway i
almost died right and then
what happened was i went through a withdrawal that you wouldn't believe and i
went to a hospital in san
diego and i was desperate i was dying dude and what they did was they abby my
manager she booked me at
a place called the optimum optimum health institute it wasn't a rehab it was a
it was a wheatgrass farm
oh my god so i show up i'm detoxing of a vicodin and i'm in a room abby has a
room next to me
is she really into wheatgrass no she's like i want to lose weight and so you
can detox here
but i could also lose weight she was shoe shoehorning her weight loss into your
rehab so check it out i'm
at the optimum health i wake up i'm shaking i'm going through with those there's
no they don't
have pills or nothing right and then they're drinking you get wheatgrass for
lunch is that
dangerous can't you die i could have died yeah right and also i need recovery i
need to go to a meeting
right and i was desperate dude i was are you bored no i just had an itch stop
doing the boardage yeah i
don't like the boardage i'm sorry is this boring no not at all here's the
spiritual awakening part it's
fun for me oh yeah here's a spiritual awakening so one night i go happy i swear
to god
i need to go to me this is not a recovery place i go why am i here right and so
i go i go give me
money she goes why i need money give me money so she gave me like 40 bucks she
goes why i go i'm
gonna leave this place tonight at 11 30. i'm gonna hop over the fence i'm gonna
round it was in san
diego i was gonna run down this hill it was probably like a quarter of a mile
this hill right and i know
that there's an in and out because i'm from san diego yeah around there there
is one down there so
i run down this hill right and i go to the in and out and it was like all they
had was wheatgrass no
i ate you know a hamburger and then i went there was a vons next door and also
what yeah i go to the
vons there's always a vons next to it yeah and it's 24 hours right yeah always
and and i was also like
crying desperate dude i was desperate i was praying to god when i was running
running like i need help
yeah i feel lost and so um this is gonna sound so cheesy no i like it barbie
come on all right okay
hi i'm back so here so i'm at the vons and i go you know what i'm gonna eat an
apple oh no what guess
then adam came out and you were eve and you started no i thought that was what
i thought had nothing to
do bible bible oh cool yeah yeah yeah i didn't think so at all so all right so
here this is the
cheesy part what kind of apple for me i like last i like laxton superb i would
have i would imagine fiji
for you but go ahead i like fiji yeah yeah yeah yeah red delicious is good oh
so good golden delicious
are so good very good anyway let's can we move on washington there's so many so
i pick up an apple
right and i i hear bobby the apple is talking to you no oh
what yeah yeah no and i turn around and there's a dude right behind me and he
seems familiar
you know him but you don't remember yeah it's been a while like i was he a
teacher of my older man
olderman right olderman yeah that used to this guy you know i mean 50 50 yeah
yeah right and he goes it's
me will smith no okay some random guy named will okay some random guy yeah and
i go dude you were my
first sponsor you know i mean when i was 16 you know i mean whoa and he goes
yeah dude he goes what
are you doing here i go ah you know i relapsed and then i you know if i get it
and then oh i ran
down this hill i told him the whole story right and i go i go what are you
doing here he goes i was
speaking at an a meeting in arizona and i was driving back wow and i'm on the
freeway and i'm like
somebody told something told me to come here i swear to god i swear to god he
says this whoa and
he goes um and he goes um and i walk in and there you are and i go how you like
them apples he didn't
say that it's not sorry he could have though yeah and then he goes i have all
your like you want to
call i have everyone's number from all the numbers i love from right so i got
you know dan old man dan
or dan right and all and i got all these guys numbers and then that week
everyone picked me up
at the optimum health institute to get you back to go to take me to meetings it
was a very essential
you know i mean part of that and i stayed sober for 17 years after that it
worked with that but
to me that felt like a spiritual awakening that is that is very deep