Name: Bobby's Jealous Of Andrew's Fancy Vacation!
Uploaded: 2023-12-01T16:00:41.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby's Jealous Of Andrew's Fancy Vacation!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby's Jealous Of Andrew's Fancy Vacation!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-01. Transcript available.

French Polynesia, unbelievable, had a great time.
Did my heart glow a little bit when you wrote,
happy birthday, I love you so much on my post of my butt?
It made me glow.
I flagged it.
Did you write anything?
I flagged it.
You did flag it.
I did flag it.
I don't want to see that.
Independent post, main feed.
That is sick.
That is sick.
And by the way, not only do I know you flagged it,
other people must have flagged it because Instagram sent me a,
this is a violation of our community rules.
I didn't flag it.
No, but enough people did.
But it's like, I showed nothing in that photo.
Yeah, Instagram was like, you should be getting paid for pictures.
Hell yeah, dude, pay me.
Are these fans doing it or people who hate us?
I think it's both.
Hey, fans, don't do it.
Don't flag us.
Don't flag.
Let us show our butt.
Please.
By the way, there's girls on Instagram showing way worse than what I'm showing.
I've seen fallopian tubes on Instagram.
Miss Pat saw my butt, or lack thereof in her opinion,
and she goes, you look like your back go all the way down to your feet.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So good.
Yeah, I had a great time.
Bora Bora, French Polynesia.
Lovely time.
And, and at the airport.
Recognized.
A guy goes, a guy goes,
Are you, are you, are you, are you?
No, really?
I am.
He literally goes, he goes, but this is the wildest shit about French Polynesia.
They look, they're, you know, they're Islanders.
They look like Samoans and Tongans.
Are they black?
Compared to us, yeah.
But would you consider them black?
No.
They're Islanders.
Like if you saw them in LA, would you like hold your wallet?
Well, yeah.
Yeah, dude.
Oh, you would?
Yeah.
Then they're black.
Yeah, yeah.
No, they look like Islanders.
They, they're French.
Honestly, they look like natives.
Like Hawaiians.
Same kind of thing.
Pacific Islanders.
But the wildest shit.
And you know, as someone that goes to Hawaii a lot.
In Hawaii, they've got that, that language, bro.
Yeah, yeah.
In French Polynesia, because it's fucking French.
Yeah, yeah.
They all speak French and they have French.
So you see a big, like a big Polynesian looking cat.
Yeah.
And he's like, yeah, how are you, monsieur?
Are you good?
No.
I swear.
It's the funniest shit.
Can I ask you something?
Yeah, please.
What's, what's the woman like?
What are the girls like?
Yeah, what do they look like?
Let me tell you.
For Carlos.
Carlos wants to know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Look at his dick.
Hard.
The women there are the exact same size as the men.
It was wild.
The women can beat the shit out of you and make you a good meal.
There was not a lot of little women.
The legs are like tree trunks.
A big women.
They are.
Yeah, we didn't even take a boat to the island.
Small pussies though.
A woman just picked us up and walked us through the water.
It was pretty incredible.
No, we had a great time.
They're beautiful, wonderful.
But is there a strip club and stuff?
Yeah, there was.
In Bora Bora?
No, I don't fucking, what the fuck?
I was with the-
Oh, the beach.
You're in the white beach.
Yeah, I was at the white people beach.
I was at the all white people beach.
Can I ask you another question?
Is there food?
I mean, there's food, but is it good food?
A lot of fish.
Ate a lot of fresh tuna right out of the ocean.
Oh, that's great.
Caught that morning.
Sliced it up.
Put it in my throat.
What do you got to say?
You're smiling, you little mischief.
No, I was just laughing about the Bora Bora strip club.
Bora Bora.
Yeah, there is one.
There is one.
And they actually, they strip on trees.
They use trees as the pole.
And there's only one woman because she takes up the whole space.
Bora and her sister Bora.
Bora Mora.
More Bora.
Yeah.
It was amazing.
They all speak French.
It's the weirdest fucking thing.
Wow.
And they say, maruru.
That means thank you.
Yeah.
Is it worth it?
Oh, yeah, dude.
Let's hope so.
Yeah.
Because I might want to bring a lady over there.
It was 100% the best time I think I've had in, I'll show you a photo of what
the hut
looked like.
Oh, my God.
So, you get like a hut over the water.
And since the woman knew it was my birthday, she goes, she was a sweet little
French girl.
Yeah.
And she says, she goes, your room is ready.
Something maybe a little special for you.
What is it?
And I said, what?
Look, she put us at the very end of the pier.
No way that was where you stayed.
Yeah, that was me.
That's where you stayed?
Yeah.
That's like a fucking, you know, that's avatar shit.
Yeah.
Dude, it felt, it honestly.
Is that Pandora?
What the fuck is going on around here, man?
We stayed at the very end of the.
And can you walk out the door and just jump in the water?
Yeah.
Did you do that?
Holy shit.
I did it every fucking, every day, every day here.
There's some, there's some other pictures I send you right there.
Carlos.
Um, so you wake up in the morning, you jump off the back of your dock into the
fucking water.
It's insane.
Oh my God.
Incredible.
Yeah.
So that's the, uh, right there is like when you walk up to the huts, they're
all like over
the water and we're, she, look, you're still very private, but she put us at
the very last
hut.
Cause she wanted us to have full privacy out to the ocean.
Bro, if Carlos went, you know what would happen?
Hmm.
The dolphins would press charges.
A hundred percent.
It'd be like in court.
Oil.
Oil.
Don't ever go there, dude.
I love dolphins.
Don't ever go there.
Zoom in on that.
So there's a picture of the reef in the lagoon.
You can literally swim in any of the lagoons.
You took this picture?
Yeah.
Oh my.
That doesn't look pretty.
It does to me.
Yeah.
That looks like whale shit.
That is whale shit.
Oh, it is.
All right.
That doesn't look good.
Give me color.
It's so gray and dismal.
No, that's all.
That's what it is.
Go to the next photo.
You took that photo?
Yeah.
Okay.
And then this, let me look at this one.
I mean, that's, that's the main beach.
So if you want to go, so zoom in, you can see the huts on the water, but if you
just
want to go to the main beach.
Oh, is that a shark?
Yeah.
That's just a black guy.
Oh, that's a black guy.
All right.
No, no, but if you want, that's the main beach.
That's beautiful.
And people were there hanging out every day, but I prefer to swim off the back
of the dock.
Like go to the next photo.
You could see in the morning, I would wake up and just do that.
That's right off the back.
Wow.
Are there sharks?
Yeah, there was one in the water.
I swear to God.
Like tiger shark?
You guys can ask.
My lady, she was like, uh, shark.
And I go, shut up.
And she goes, shark, shark, right there.
But what kind?
Uh, I think it's called, I think it was called, easy.
What did I say?
So you're back.
How's your energy right now?
Very peaceful.
I feel good.
It's a long flight.
It was a very long flight.
How long?
How long?
I think it's nine or something like that.
Nine hours.
From Tahiti.
And then you have to fly from Tahiti to Bora Bora.
And how long is that?
It's another hour and some change or something like that.
So you're looking at like a 10 hour, 11 hour experience.
Yeah.
With the layover and all that stuff.
Right.
Yeah.
At first class, that's nice.
No, not first class.
You did coach.
Wait, wait.
Are you making fun of me?
I'm not making fun of you.
I think you're fucking lying.
No.
You did coach.
Oh yeah.
From LA.
Yeah.
The Tahiti, Tahiti.
Back at the plane.
Really?
How did I do that?
How did I survive?
How did you do it?
I stayed in the bathroom for about three or four hours.
Oh, you did?
I just stood in the bathroom.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I would stand up sleeping in the bathroom.
Yeah.
Okay.
So you did that.
Yeah.
Okay.
That was fine.
It worked for me.
There's no way you did.
Yes, I did.
I'll show you my ticket.
You swear to God on my mother's life.
No, that's crazy.
Well, then if you were telling the truth, you would.
No, I don't want to swear on anybody's life.
That's dangerous.
No.
Am I right, Fancy?
If she dies tomorrow, then it's my fault for some reason.
I did just say, yes, I flew first class.
I did not.
You lied!
I did not.
Okay.
I will say the little plane you take to Tahiti from Bora Bora.
Yeah, yeah.
A scary.
It's one of those where the guys out there like,
and he spins the fucking.
Oh, it's a Buddy Holly killing.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't like Buddy Holly.
The whole time.
And the Pilots on there.
The Buddy Holly killing ones, man.
Oh, my God.
Pilots on there singing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dude, but that plane wiped out the legends.
Yeah.
The big bopper.
Dude.
Yeah.
That's the same plane that.
The Mexican guy who thinks he's white.
Otis Redding crashed.
What's his name?
The Mexican guy who thinks he's white?
Richie Valens.
Richie Valens.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, the two propellers.
The two propellers, the wobbly-bobbly.
The wobbly-bobbly, no.
I don't like the wobbly-bobbly-bobblys, no.
Meanwhile, there's a woman next to me, a French woman in the,
you know, because a lot of these people,
French citizens must get some sort of deal from the government
because it's mostly French people.
Yeah.
And this French woman is next to me across the aisle,
the whole flight.
And nobody is going, fuck.
No one's looking.
Everyone's like this.
That's how they laugh.
Oh, that's French laugh.
Yeah.
I thought she was singing a French song on, like, a microphone.
She was her character.
Karaoke.
It was ridiculous.
Let me, what's the most tragic way a celebrity has died, though?
I got it.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, you do.
Can I tell you?
Yeah.
Sonny.
Sonny, from Sonny and Cher.
Sonny Bono?
Yeah.
Wasn't that a car?
He hit a tree, right?
That's terrible.
He hit a tree on skis.
Wasn't he skiing?
He was skiing and he hit a tree.
I knew he hit a tree.
I assumed it was by car.
I didn't know.
Did the tree come out of nowhere?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know how those trees do.
Injuries occurred when he hit a tree while skiing at Heavenly.
Oh, I've been to Heavenly.
It's a great mountain.
He went right after he went.
So he directly hit a tree.
That's the tree.
That's the tree.
There it is.
Wow.
They didn't clean up those cenas?
Yeah, it did.
Yeah, chop that tree down.
Cut it down.
That tree murders a legend and you're going to keep it up?
That's wild.
Wait, who's lawyer?
Who are the lawyers for the trees?
He's got some good ones.
That's Cochran.
Cochran did that tree.
And I think the tree won.
Well, yeah.
If the tree doesn't leave, you must leave it alone.
I was about to do that.
Jesus.
That was good.
That was good.
That was good.