Name: Bobby's Newest Comedy Beef! "Are We Good?"
Uploaded: 2023-12-07T16:00:25.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby's Newest Comedy Beef! "Are We Good?"' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby's Newest Comedy Beef! "Are We Good?"' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-07. Transcript available.

- Fiendog.
- What's up? - What's up, dude?
- Good to see you.
- Bobby, say hi.
- Hi.
- So Asian, dude.
- Hello.
- Get on the mic, put on your headphones.
- I'm intimidated by your looks, dude.
- Yeah?
- Good looking kid.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Good looking kid.
- Smells good.
- Yeah, I'm like...
- Bobby's always...
- I'm really intimidated by your look, I've always have been.
- Yeah, there's something about you, man.
You're always, I just, I don't know what it is.
He's always trying to fight me.
- Yeah.
- Well, when you walked into the olive tree last time.
- I remember.
I remember how to fight him last time we were in New...
- On sight.
- Yeah, on sight.
- You look like a 1940s bellhop.
- Where are our bags, by the way?
- Don't you, a 1940s bellhop at a hotel?
Dude, look at them, dude.
- But a good one.
- I feel like, yeah, maybe a...
- What's that way, a talking that we did?
- A Paul Thomas Anderson hotel or something?
- Oh, yes.
- What's that kind of talking we did?
- Yeah.
- It was a white supremacy, what was it?
- No, no, no.
- The talkies, see, back in the day?
- The talkies, the talkies.
- He looks like that.
- You're a talkie, dude.
- And you go...
- Put 'em up.
- Put 'em up.
- Stick 'em up.
- Stick 'em up.
- Duke 'em up, sorry.
Duke 'em up Chang.
- Duke 'em up Chang.
- Is Duke 'em up Chang related to the new exorcist?
- Oswald Chang.
- The brothers.
But anyway, you have that vibe.
But you know what?
I did attack you in New York.
- And in LA, last time I was here.
- I did.
- That's true.
- And let me see if I want to apologize.
Here we, here we, here we, here we.
- Nah.
- He does not want to.
- It's fine.
- I love you though.
- Our pop-in guest, one of the homies,
New York's finest comedian, Mike Feeney is here,
looking as dapper as ever.
If you're on audio only,
he's got some of the best hair in the business.
Some have quoted him as saying,
second or third to Mulaney.
I've heard you're right behind John.
- Oh wow, yeah.
- Hair wise.
- A lot less, a lot less Coke.
- Yeah, less Coke.
You don't have a Coke problem.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- But you do have a family now, just like he does.
So it could happen soon, dude.
- I'm looking to enjoy it.
- Mike, you have kids, Mike?
- I have one, yeah.
- A lot less congratulations.
- A lot of months old, thank you.
Oh, I'm sorry.
That felt, there was a lot of resentment in that.
- I just learned the words,
so I think I'm doing pretty good.
- Oh, gotcha, gotcha.
- You know what I mean?
- When he learns words,
he's gotta use them often, otherwise they go away.
- Yeah, congratulations.
- Like a word a day, yeah, you work it in.
- Like what is it called when you're masturbating
and you're choking yourself out at the same time?
- Asphyxiation, autoerotic asphyxiation.
- I just learned that today.
- He had a little bit of trouble with that too.
- Yeah, say it fast.
- Autoerotic asphyxiation.
- He did it good and he didn't change shape in his face.
Look at that.
Now watch Bobby try to do it.
- But you were also mouthing the words
like a stage mom while I was saying it.
- Autoerotic asphyxiation.
- He has to change his face.
See how he goes like this?
He goes, autoerotic asphyxiation.
See if you can do it like this, autoerotic asphyxiation.
- I didn't do anything.
- Yeah, you did something with your eyes.
- Autoerotic asphyxiation.
- Blinked again.
- I blink?
- Oh, don't blink.
- Don't blink.
- Don't make it creepy?
- No, just don't blink.
- Autoerotic asphyxiation.
There you go.
- You look like someone who does it all the time.
It's crazy.
- It feels like that's your move, dude.
- In a good way, in a good, like a punk rock.
- Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like rock and roll.
- Yeah, not in like a Chester Bennington kind of a way.
- As he comes, rock and roll.
- Do it, babe.
- I think I should go.
- No, stay.
- Now you're in trouble.
See, you cross a line and you knew what you were getting into.
- This job is really hard.
- Autoerotic asphyxiation.
- It's like they want me to cross it,
but when I do, they hate it.
- Fuck, you fucked me up.
Here we go.
Autoerotic asphyxiation.
- Now you're broke.
- Dude, you're doing it worse now for some reason.
- Autoerotic asphyxiation.
- That's better.
- Better?
You left out like five letters.
But autoerotic asphyxiation.
- He doesn't know all the letters.
- Oh, the letters, dude.
- There's so many.
- Let's move on, let's move on.
Anyway, Mike, good to see you, bud.
What are you doing out here?
- That was a fun, that was a fun,
you turned that into a talk show.
- He's good at that, too.
- Mike, what are you doing out here?
- Yeah, you're really Byron Allen me.
Well, I'm out here, 'cause I have-
- Oh, you're comparing me to Byron Allen.
- I heard you don't like sunshine.
You like the sunshine?
- A very rich man, yeah.
A very rich, successful man.
- He owns the weather, right?
- I know he don't.
- Doesn't he own the weather channel?
- Yeah, Byron does, yeah.
- Does he?
- He owns the weather channel.
Bought the weather channel.
Look at this, Byron Allen, look it up.
He bought the weather channel a couple of years ago,
but I remember at Mitzi's funeral,
everybody was talking about it.
- Wow.
- Owns the weather channel.
- Holy shit.
Dude, so every time there's a hurricane,
he just fucking sits there.
- Yeah, he's getting papered up, dude.
- Also, he fucked me, dude.
- What happened?
- He had sex with Bobby.
- No, that was years ago.
No, he has a show.
I forgot what it was called.
- The Byron Allen Show?
- No, there's a show that he does.
That Jody Miller works on, what's that?
It's called-
- Funny You Should Ask?
Is that right?
- It's a game show.
- Yeah, yeah, I think that's what it is.
- Funny You Should Ask, right?
- So I did it once.
- Yeah, I got it right.
- So I was there and Byron, you know,
says hello, this and that, and he goes,
that's your seat.
I did it with like,
when Louie Anderson was still alive and-
- There you are, and the shirt says old fart.
That's a great shirt.
- It's a great shirt.
- What happened to that shirt?
- I don't know, but that's my shirt, right?
Old fart, right?
- Can barely see you.
- And I was supposed to do the,
like two more after that,
and I found out right after I was leaving,
somebody called me and goes,
yeah, Byron's gonna do your spots.
- Wait, what do you mean Byron's doing your spots?
- He's gonna sit on the chair,
he wants to be on camera.
- On his own show?
- Yeah. - He hosts the show, right?
- No, some other guy hosted it at the time.
- Oh, that's fucked.
- So you got bumped?
- I got bumped by the guy who owns it?
- I got bumped by the guy who owns it, right?
So I'm gonna say to Byron, dude,
we have issues, dude,
and I don't care you own the weather.
Put a fucking tsunami at my house.
- No!
- Yeah, give me a hurricane.
- No, 'cause you live close to me.
Don't do that, Byron, please.
- You're in charge with the weather.
I don't care, dude.
- Oh, you're Storm now?
- Yeah, he's a Storm from X-Men.
- Storm is black.
- I know.
- It doesn't make sense.
- So we have a fucking bone to pick, man.
- No, no, you've picked it right now.
- That's what I meant.
- Bone is picked, my dog.
- So anyway, don't even, don't say his name.
- Oh, sorry, I didn't-
- I love you, Mike, what are you, Mike?
Mike, Mike, Mike, hi, bud.
You look great, what are you doing out here, bud?
- Can I also say, this is the largest amount of water
I've ever been offered on a show before.
- Welcome to LA, dog.
- Yeah.
- This ain't New York, buddy.
- I'll be drinking this the next two weeks.
- Yeah. - This is crazy.
- Yeah, that's as big as your apartment in New York.
That's the fucking problem with New York
is everything is smaller out here, bigger, baby.
- You think this is Chrissy chaos?
- Yeah, fuck that, dude.
This is a real podcast.
- Yeah, all right. - We'll give you all the water.
- Yeah.
- Feeney's got a new special out right now.
- I do. - We'd like people to go see it
and watch it 'cause he's a friend and he's wonderful.
It's out, available right now.
Tell him the title, you're gonna love it.
- Mike Feeney, a night at the Comedy Cellar.
It's on my YouTube channel, youtube.com.
- That's the title?
- Mike Feeney Comedy.
Yeah, yeah.
I kept it pretty, I didn't want any-
- Mike Feeney doing stand-up, let's call it that.
- Well, it's the reason why it's called that,
you know what I mean?
There's a story.
- What is the story?
- Well, maybe I'll tell it.
- Dude, you know what the deal is?
- No, I got what it is.
You know what the deal is, dude?
- What is the deal?
- Ever since I've known you, right?
You're conflicted with me.
- No, no, no.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There is, what are you saying?
- Well, from my perspective, an outsider.
- Okay, you're not really an outsider.
- A young comic, an apprentice.
- You're literally an insider of this show.
- Yeah, yeah, so what is your,
so you're gonna tell your boss something.
- You came in kinda hot.
- Dude.
- This is pretty amazing.
Bobby is mad.
- But maybe there's something, I don't know.
There's a past.
You said a-
- Exactly.
- Yeah.
- You gotta put it into context, dude.
- Yeah, so what happened?
- I think the first time we met was outside
the Comedy Cellar at the Village Underground.
I said, "What's up, dude, I'm Mike."
And then I think your first words were,
"You motherfucker."
- Yeah.
- And then you lunged at me.
And I think that's been kind of our MO since.
I'm not mad about it.
- Does that sound like something I would do?
- Yeah.
- Oh my God, yeah.
Guys, vote here if we could have a fucking click vote.
- Is that something I would do?
That's insane behavior.
- Were you like, holding your eyes far apart or something?
- No, no, no.
- It sounds like he's for X.
- It was not pulling my eyes back.
- Oh, yeah.
- He was.
- That's right.
That's what you were doing, Mike.
Yeah, yeah.
- That doesn't sound like it at all.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So you went like that, and that's why he lunged, dude.
- That makes more sense.
- Stop Asian hate, Mike!
- You didn't see me doing that.
- All right.
- Mike Feeney walks up to you and goes,
"Welcome to V-Rick Underground."
That's what he did.
- No, you know what he did?
He did the reverse.
He made his eyes whiter.
- Aw.
- Just to prove his dominance.
- Yeah.
- Just to prove my dominance.
- Yeah, I'm white.
Yeah, yeah, Mike.
What the fuck, dude?
- Just looking up and down.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, the peripherals.
- So anyway, so we've had conflict,
but let's resolve it now, dude.
- Just wash the beef.
- I literally have no beef with you, dude.
- It's great.
I don't wanna have beef with you, man.
- Yeah, yeah.
I have beef with somebody else.
- Byron Allen.
- Yeah, that guy.
- Yeah, and you know, but--
- Me?
- You're in some shit.
- You're in some shit, dude.
- Now I'm glad you stay.
- Would you fight Byron Allen?
Like, let's say he heard about this
and he wants to square up with you.
Would you fight him for real?
- Like in a physical, like, boxing?
- Yeah, like, let's say Byron Allen hears this,
takes it serious, and wants to square up with you.
He's fucking big.
He's six foot three.
- Six foot three.
- There's no way, dude.
- He's gonna fuck you up.
- He would fuck me up.
- Why are you talking shit on our show?
He's gonna fuck you up.
- I'm never gonna see him again.
- Oh, there's fog every time he's around?
- Yeah, dude.
- That's all awesome.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- What a cool super power.
- I heard Byron was here, I can't see him.
- Imagine a bunch of kids sitting around
elementary school.
I want to be a firefighter.
I want to be a spaceman.
I want to own the weather.
Byron, we can't own the weather.
- Let's not be ridiculous.
- Watch me, bitch.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- He bought the weather.
I mean, he's fucking wild.
- So, it's Mike Feeney,
live at the Comedy Cellar.
- Night at the Comedy Cellar.
- Oh, I got it wrong.
- Yeah, it's all right.
- Night at the--
- See what I'm saying?
See, there's a tone, there's a tone.
- You are throwing these weird verbal darts at him.
- You're right, you're right.
Let's start over.
- Try it again, let's do it again.
Go ahead, introduce the his special.
- So, Mike Feeney,
A Night at the Comedy Cellar.
- Yes, correct.
- It's, I assume,
it's taped at the Comedy Cellar?
- It's taped--
- You're doing really goofy things with your eyes.
- Yeah, we went cross-eyed.
- You know, and you're doing it live.
It's at night, it's at night.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, and it's you, Mike Feeney.
- It is.
- So, Mike Feeney, Night at the Comedy Cellar.
- Yeah, but it's also,
there's four rooms of the Comedy Cellar.
- No, don't talk, see that's what--
- As you know, I said.
- Okay, go ahead.
As you know.
- I know, I know, I know.
- And it's me doing all four rooms in one night.
- Oh, that's a cool idea.
- And then I directed it, and I edited it,
because I pitched it to production companies,
and they said it couldn't be done,
and it would cost over $1,000.
- Didn't Fahim Anwar do that?
- Exactly.
- He did all three rooms at the Comedy Cellar, so--
- Yeah, he did three.
This is four, so it's more.
- I like that, that's smart, yeah.
- Yeah, I got a one-up.
- Wanna one-up our buddy, dude.
Wanna one-up our buddy.
- Yeah, yeah.
- It's great, original.
It's great, you're thinking, you know?
- I am. - Outside the box, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Tell him about your special.
- Nothing.
- Okay.
- So anyway, let's go back.
- So be nice, be nice.
- Oh, you don't think I can do one?
- No, you can't. - I can do it, I can do it.
- You know what, I bet you can't.
- You know what I'll do, how about this?
- There we go.
- Oh, you know what, I'll do mine.
- Oh, I bet you can't.
- I'll do mine everywhere at the Comedy Cellar,
and at the Laugh Factory,
and at the Improv, and at the Ice House.
- So I wound up Mike.
- Really?
- Like, I could do that.
- You're leaving out so many flappers?
You're not gonna do flappers?
- Yeah, flappers and all that stuff.
- What about the Comedy Castle or whatever?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
What about the fart run?
- Mike, I'm sure it's great.
What can they see?
Mike, good to be here.
What a pleasure.
Thanks for visiting us here in LA.
- That's great.
- Where can they see your special?
- They can see it on my YouTube channel.
YouTube.com/mikephoonycom.
- We'll put the link in the description
for people that wanna watch it.
- Yeah. - Yeah, Mike.
- And let me say, the reason why we have this
is to make, I respect you.
- Is that what it is?
- 100%, dude.
- Okay, the pause gave me pause.
- Hold on, look at me.
- I think you're more of a Ronnie Chang fan.
- You think I like Ronnie Chang more than you,
you're saying?
- A little bit.
- I know Ronnie Chang more than you,
but maybe that's just an issue we can work through.
- Well, he's trying to say,
do you like Chinese people or Korean people better
is what he's trying to get to the root.
- Well, I have a history though with,
I have a, there was a kid in my high school.
- Wait, wait, wait, you have a history, what?
With Chinese people?
We all do, buddy.
Runs pretty deep.
- There was a kid that we grew up with in my neighborhood.
He moved there in high school
and we called him Mexican Tony,
but he was incredibly Chinese.
- Okay.
That's what made it fun. - That's really funny.
- It's what made it fun.
- But he is from- - That's so funny.
- Mexican Tony!
- Mexican Tony is so funny.
- Yeah, he was from China.
He was like a transfer kid and his family was so rich.
They had the biggest house in our neighborhood
and he went to our high school
and he wanted to ingratiate his friends into the,
you know, make friends.
So we had all the people over for a house party
in 11th grade and we all went to his house.
Long Island, you know, scumbags.
We all got very drunk.
There was probably 50 people there.
Got way out of control.
People like destroyed his house,
like punched holes in the walls.
People were fighting and brawling.
I lost my virginity on his sister's bed
after seven Mike's Hard Lemonades.
And ever since then, I felt bad about that.
So I feel like I owe the Chinese people
a little bit of gratitude.
He opened his home to me.
And we really just- - Where's Mexican Tony now?
- Honestly, I know he got in a ton of trouble for that.
His house was pristine, beautiful, impeccably.
He just, he thought he would just have a few friends over
and then everyone texted him.
- Let me ask you a question.
- He's in Trump's cabinet.
I heard he was working for Trump.
- He's probably doing- - And Mexican Tony.
We all love Mexican Tony.
- Not really Mexican.
- When his parents came back, you know what I mean?
What do you think they would say to him?
Accent please.
- So here you are.
- Here you are. - Set the scene.
- I'm Mexican Tony.
Yo, mom.
Dad, what's up?
Sorry.
Mom, dad.
What, how do you-
- I am very disappointed in you, Mexican Tony.
- No, no, no.
- No, no, no.
- No, dude, no, dude.
No, dude.
Let's do it again.
- Well, they were proper speaking, you know what I mean?
- Oh, so you're saying that Mexican Tony's parents
were born in America?
- No, no.
- So they had accents, right?
Are you an actor, Mike?
Are you an actor, Mike?
- Sure. - This is the role.
- Okay. - Right?
- Oh, mom, dad, sorry.
We had a party last night, my bad.
- I am very disappointed.
- Very good, very good, very good.

Bobby's Newest Comedy Beef! "Are We Good?"

- Fiendog.
- What's up? - What's up, dude?
- Good to see you.
- Bobby, say hi.
- Hi.
- So Asian, dude.
- Hello.
- Get on the mic, put on your headphones.
- I'm intimidated by your looks, dude.
- Yeah?
- Good looking kid.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Good looking kid.
- Smells good.
- Yeah, I'm like...
- Bobby's always...
- I'm really intimidated by your look, I've always have been.
- Yeah, there's something about you, man.
You're always, I just, I don't know what it is.
He's always trying to fight me.
- Yeah.
- Well, when you walked into the olive tree last time.
- I remember.
I remember how to fight him last time we were in New...
- On sight.
- Yeah, on sight.
- You look like a 1940s bellhop.
- Where are our bags, by the way?
- Don't you, a 1940s bellhop at a hotel?
Dude, look at them, dude.
- But a good one.
- I feel like, yeah, maybe a...
- What's that way, a talking that we did?
- A Paul Thomas Anderson hotel or something?
- Oh, yes.
- What's that kind of talking we did?
- Yeah.
- It was a white supremacy, what was it?
- No, no, no.
- The talkies, see, back in the day?
- The talkies, the talkies.
- He looks like that.
- You're a talkie, dude.
- And you go...
- Put 'em up.
- Put 'em up.
- Stick 'em up.
- Stick 'em up.
- Duke 'em up, sorry.
Duke 'em up Chang.
- Duke 'em up Chang.
- Is Duke 'em up Chang related to the new exorcist?
- Oswald Chang.
- The brothers.
But anyway, you have that vibe.
But you know what?
I did attack you in New York.
- And in LA, last time I was here.
- I did.
- That's true.
- And let me see if I want to apologize.
Here we, here we, here we, here we.
- Nah.
- He does not want to.
- It's fine.
- I love you though.
- Our pop-in guest, one of the homies,
New York's finest comedian, Mike Feeney is here,
looking as dapper as ever.
If you're on audio only,
he's got some of the best hair in the business.
Some have quoted him as saying,
second or third to Mulaney.
I've heard you're right behind John.
- Oh wow, yeah.
- Hair wise.
- A lot less, a lot less Coke.
- Yeah, less Coke.
You don't have a Coke problem.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- But you do have a family now, just like he does.
So it could happen soon, dude.
- I'm looking to enjoy it.
- Mike, you have kids, Mike?
- I have one, yeah.
- A lot less congratulations.
- A lot of months old, thank you.
Oh, I'm sorry.
That felt, there was a lot of resentment in that.
- I just learned the words,
so I think I'm doing pretty good.
- Oh, gotcha, gotcha.
- You know what I mean?
- When he learns words,
he's gotta use them often, otherwise they go away.
- Yeah, congratulations.
- Like a word a day, yeah, you work it in.
- Like what is it called when you're masturbating
and you're choking yourself out at the same time?
- Asphyxiation, autoerotic asphyxiation.
- I just learned that today.
- He had a little bit of trouble with that too.
- Yeah, say it fast.
- Autoerotic asphyxiation.
- He did it good and he didn't change shape in his face.
Look at that.
Now watch Bobby try to do it.
- But you were also mouthing the words
like a stage mom while I was saying it.
- Autoerotic asphyxiation.
- He has to change his face.
See how he goes like this?
He goes, autoerotic asphyxiation.
See if you can do it like this, autoerotic asphyxiation.
- I didn't do anything.
- Yeah, you did something with your eyes.
- Autoerotic asphyxiation.
- Blinked again.
- I blink?
- Oh, don't blink.
- Don't blink.
- Don't make it creepy?
- No, just don't blink.
- Autoerotic asphyxiation.
There you go.
- You look like someone who does it all the time.
It's crazy.
- It feels like that's your move, dude.
- In a good way, in a good, like a punk rock.
- Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like rock and roll.
- Yeah, not in like a Chester Bennington kind of a way.
- As he comes, rock and roll.
- Do it, babe.
- I think I should go.
- No, stay.
- Now you're in trouble.
See, you cross a line and you knew what you were getting into.
- This job is really hard.
- Autoerotic asphyxiation.
- It's like they want me to cross it,
but when I do, they hate it.
- Fuck, you fucked me up.
Here we go.
Autoerotic asphyxiation.
- Now you're broke.
- Dude, you're doing it worse now for some reason.
- Autoerotic asphyxiation.
- That's better.
- Better?
You left out like five letters.
But autoerotic asphyxiation.
- He doesn't know all the letters.
- Oh, the letters, dude.
- There's so many.
- Let's move on, let's move on.
Anyway, Mike, good to see you, bud.
What are you doing out here?
- That was a fun, that was a fun,
you turned that into a talk show.
- He's good at that, too.
- Mike, what are you doing out here?
- Yeah, you're really Byron Allen me.
Well, I'm out here, 'cause I have-
- Oh, you're comparing me to Byron Allen.
- I heard you don't like sunshine.
You like the sunshine?
- A very rich man, yeah.
A very rich, successful man.
- He owns the weather, right?
- I know he don't.
- Doesn't he own the weather channel?
- Yeah, Byron does, yeah.
- Does he?
- He owns the weather channel.
Bought the weather channel.
Look at this, Byron Allen, look it up.
He bought the weather channel a couple of years ago,
but I remember at Mitzi's funeral,
everybody was talking about it.
- Wow.
- Owns the weather channel.
- Holy shit.
Dude, so every time there's a hurricane,
he just fucking sits there.
- Yeah, he's getting papered up, dude.
- Also, he fucked me, dude.
- What happened?
- He had sex with Bobby.
- No, that was years ago.
No, he has a show.
I forgot what it was called.
- The Byron Allen Show?
- No, there's a show that he does.
That Jody Miller works on, what's that?
It's called-
- Funny You Should Ask?
Is that right?
- It's a game show.
- Yeah, yeah, I think that's what it is.
- Funny You Should Ask, right?
- So I did it once.
- Yeah, I got it right.
- So I was there and Byron, you know,
says hello, this and that, and he goes,
that's your seat.
I did it with like,
when Louie Anderson was still alive and-
- There you are, and the shirt says old fart.
That's a great shirt.
- It's a great shirt.
- What happened to that shirt?
- I don't know, but that's my shirt, right?
Old fart, right?
- Can barely see you.
- And I was supposed to do the,
like two more after that,
and I found out right after I was leaving,
somebody called me and goes,
yeah, Byron's gonna do your spots.
- Wait, what do you mean Byron's doing your spots?
- He's gonna sit on the chair,
he wants to be on camera.
- On his own show?
- Yeah. - He hosts the show, right?
- No, some other guy hosted it at the time.
- Oh, that's fucked.
- So you got bumped?
- I got bumped by the guy who owns it?
- I got bumped by the guy who owns it, right?
So I'm gonna say to Byron, dude,
we have issues, dude,
and I don't care you own the weather.
Put a fucking tsunami at my house.
- No!
- Yeah, give me a hurricane.
- No, 'cause you live close to me.
Don't do that, Byron, please.
- You're in charge with the weather.
I don't care, dude.
- Oh, you're Storm now?
- Yeah, he's a Storm from X-Men.
- Storm is black.
- I know.
- It doesn't make sense.
- So we have a fucking bone to pick, man.
- No, no, you've picked it right now.
- That's what I meant.
- Bone is picked, my dog.
- So anyway, don't even, don't say his name.
- Oh, sorry, I didn't-
- I love you, Mike, what are you, Mike?
Mike, Mike, Mike, hi, bud.
You look great, what are you doing out here, bud?
- Can I also say, this is the largest amount of water
I've ever been offered on a show before.
- Welcome to LA, dog.
- Yeah.
- This ain't New York, buddy.
- I'll be drinking this the next two weeks.
- Yeah. - This is crazy.
- Yeah, that's as big as your apartment in New York.
That's the fucking problem with New York
is everything is smaller out here, bigger, baby.
- You think this is Chrissy chaos?
- Yeah, fuck that, dude.
This is a real podcast.
- Yeah, all right. - We'll give you all the water.
- Yeah.
- Feeney's got a new special out right now.
- I do. - We'd like people to go see it
and watch it 'cause he's a friend and he's wonderful.
It's out, available right now.
Tell him the title, you're gonna love it.
- Mike Feeney, a night at the Comedy Cellar.
It's on my YouTube channel, youtube.com.
- That's the title?
- Mike Feeney Comedy.
Yeah, yeah.
I kept it pretty, I didn't want any-
- Mike Feeney doing stand-up, let's call it that.
- Well, it's the reason why it's called that,
you know what I mean?
There's a story.
- What is the story?
- Well, maybe I'll tell it.
- Dude, you know what the deal is?
- No, I got what it is.
You know what the deal is, dude?
- What is the deal?
- Ever since I've known you, right?
You're conflicted with me.
- No, no, no.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There is, what are you saying?
- Well, from my perspective, an outsider.
- Okay, you're not really an outsider.
- A young comic, an apprentice.
- You're literally an insider of this show.
- Yeah, yeah, so what is your,
so you're gonna tell your boss something.
- You came in kinda hot.
- Dude.
- This is pretty amazing.
Bobby is mad.
- But maybe there's something, I don't know.
There's a past.
You said a-
- Exactly.
- Yeah.
- You gotta put it into context, dude.
- Yeah, so what happened?
- I think the first time we met was outside
the Comedy Cellar at the Village Underground.
I said, "What's up, dude, I'm Mike."
And then I think your first words were,
"You motherfucker."
- Yeah.
- And then you lunged at me.
And I think that's been kind of our MO since.
I'm not mad about it.
- Does that sound like something I would do?
- Yeah.
- Oh my God, yeah.
Guys, vote here if we could have a fucking click vote.
- Is that something I would do?
That's insane behavior.
- Were you like, holding your eyes far apart or something?
- No, no, no.
- It sounds like he's for X.
- It was not pulling my eyes back.
- Oh, yeah.
- He was.
- That's right.
That's what you were doing, Mike.
Yeah, yeah.
- That doesn't sound like it at all.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So you went like that, and that's why he lunged, dude.
- That makes more sense.
- Stop Asian hate, Mike!
- You didn't see me doing that.
- All right.
- Mike Feeney walks up to you and goes,
"Welcome to V-Rick Underground."
That's what he did.
- No, you know what he did?
He did the reverse.
He made his eyes whiter.
- Aw.
- Just to prove his dominance.
- Yeah.
- Just to prove my dominance.
- Yeah, I'm white.
Yeah, yeah, Mike.
What the fuck, dude?
- Just looking up and down.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, the peripherals.
- So anyway, so we've had conflict,
but let's resolve it now, dude.
- Just wash the beef.
- I literally have no beef with you, dude.
- It's great.
I don't wanna have beef with you, man.
- Yeah, yeah.
I have beef with somebody else.
- Byron Allen.
- Yeah, that guy.
- Yeah, and you know, but--
- Me?
- You're in some shit.
- You're in some shit, dude.
- Now I'm glad you stay.
- Would you fight Byron Allen?
Like, let's say he heard about this
and he wants to square up with you.
Would you fight him for real?
- Like in a physical, like, boxing?
- Yeah, like, let's say Byron Allen hears this,
takes it serious, and wants to square up with you.
He's fucking big.
He's six foot three.
- Six foot three.
- There's no way, dude.
- He's gonna fuck you up.
- He would fuck me up.
- Why are you talking shit on our show?
He's gonna fuck you up.
- I'm never gonna see him again.
- Oh, there's fog every time he's around?
- Yeah, dude.
- That's all awesome.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- What a cool super power.
- I heard Byron was here, I can't see him.
- Imagine a bunch of kids sitting around
elementary school.
I want to be a firefighter.
I want to be a spaceman.
I want to own the weather.
Byron, we can't own the weather.
- Let's not be ridiculous.
- Watch me, bitch.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- He bought the weather.
I mean, he's fucking wild.
- So, it's Mike Feeney,
live at the Comedy Cellar.
- Night at the Comedy Cellar.
- Oh, I got it wrong.
- Yeah, it's all right.
- Night at the--
- See what I'm saying?
See, there's a tone, there's a tone.
- You are throwing these weird verbal darts at him.
- You're right, you're right.
Let's start over.
- 