Name: Bobby Pranked By Producers AGAIN!
Uploaded: 2023-12-16T15:00:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Pranked By Producers AGAIN!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Pranked By Producers AGAIN!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-16. Transcript available.

What do you, when you get water, right?
What's the most annoying thing when you have water?
What's the most annoying thing when I get water?
When you drink water.
When I drink water?
Yeah.
That you have to keep drinking it otherwise you die?
Nope.
No, what is it?
Nanos.
This is nano pure.
You're telling me there's no nanos in there?
There's no nanos in there.
This sounds like we're doing a plug for this stuff.
No, no, no, no.
So we talked about this on the other episode.
Can I just say another thing?
Please.
Right?
Every time I've drinking water, I went, there's something wrong with this.
You know what?
It's structured differently than it should be.
Restructured.
You're telling me this is fully restructured?
Yeah, yeah.
Here's another thing, right?
Yeah.
What do you love about water?
What it has?
Keeps me alive.
No, no, no.
There's elements in it.
I'll tell you what.
Oh, hydrogen and oxygen.
When it's oxygen in it, right?
But it already has oxygen in it.
But this company?
What?
No.
Not enough oxygen.
Hyper.
They need more oxygen.
They hypered it out, dude.
Okay.
Well, let's take a second.
Well, here's...
But I'm going to say this.
Uh-huh.
You're already closed-minded.
No, I'm...
How am I...
Yeah, you're closed-minded and you're making fun of it already.
Juice, juice, juice.
Juice, am I closed-minded?
If I said no, would you be open to that possibility?
Yes.
Then I think you're pretty open-minded.
Right on.
Okay, good.
So would you like some Ophora, please?
I would like...
I'm going to drink my own water.
You drink yours and I...
You know what?
My good old-fashioned Elvis.
Elvis loved Mountain Valley.
That's why I like it.
And I'll drink my Ophora.
I'll take it.
Because yours has full of nanos.
You're telling me this has tons of nanos.
Yeah, yeah.
Nanobots in your body, dude.
Okay.
Wow, it's a real classic.
And you're being restructured now.
Let me taste.
Oh, yeah.
Wow.
Let me taste.
Delicious.
How is it?
I'm restructured.
Whoa.
Do you feel better?
Did you see how...
Did you just see that?
I didn't do that.
I didn't do that, dude.
The water just...
Jesse, do you want to try?
Oh, no.
I think this is what I deserve.
I'll just stick with the plastic.
That's true.
Yeah, you know what?
I'll stick with my water, okay?
So you think this is better?
You really do think this is better?
Well, look at...
How much is yours?
The Mountain Valley...
A couple bucks.
Yeah.
A couple bucks.
$30, dude.
That's a $30 bottle of water.
Yeah, so...
It's disgusting.
It's not.
But how does it taste?
Does it taste better?
Dude, I hate water usually.
Really?
Yeah, I want to keep drinking this, dude.
Wow.
Yeah, yeah.
It's the best.
If only they could flavor it like Diet Coke.
Then it'd be really good water.
You know, can I say something?
What?
And I don't want to offend Christians,
but here I'm going to.
Go ahead.
All right?
Yeah.
Jesus come.
That's how good it is.
That's how good that is.
Dude, dude.
If Jesus had come, dude?
That's what it would be.
Bingo!
You know how Jesus...
I would spend $100 on that bottle.
You know how Jesus walked on water?
You know how Jesus walked on water?
Yes.
Do you think this is the water he walked on?
This is it.
Oh, yeah.
This is Jesus' water.
And the other dude that split it apart?
Moses.
That's that water.
Mountain.
Part of the sea.
Well, I'd like you to see a video real fast.
Let's show the boys, show everyone a little video here for in-studio while you
sip away.
Okay.
Did you notice any difference between that water?
No.
It tastes the same.
I mean, there's a little water.
I don't have to get that.
Oh, my God.
I did taste weird, dude.
Oh, my God.
Did I just drink tap water, dude?
You did that to the king?
Wait, did I just drink tap water, dude?
Where's my...
I swore to God, I was like...
You know where it is?
Yeah, where is it?
It's in my mountain valley water.
It's right here.
Is it in there?
How is that?
Be honest.
It tastes exactly like water that I've...
No, it doesn't.
It tastes the same as mountain valley.
Give me my water!
No way.
Give me my...
Look at that.
Okay, can I say this, dude?
Can you believe?
Look at what the boys did.
They poured you some...
That is bathroom tap water, dude.
Dude, dude, dude, dude.
Let me say something right now.
Wow.
Let me say something right now.
If I get cancer because of this,
it's your fucking fault.
Look at him.
Look at how meticulous he put the sticker back on.
Son of a bitch.
No, don't do that.
We live here.
That's insane.
That's insane, dude.
Take this away, dude.
That's so funny.
You know what?
You like tricks?
You like tricks?
We're not going to play tricks.
Okay.
All right?
And I'm going to trick you one day.
And it's going to be worse than that,
I'll tell you that right now.
Give me your cup.
I'll pour some of your delicious...
That's okay.
I don't even trust that anymore.
What do you mean?
This is the $30 bottle.
All right, here.
Give me some of that.
Like we said in the last episode,
this is like the...
God, it's so funny.
...the Philippine licking woman.
Yeah, that's right.
It's all in your mind.
That's right.
It's all in your mind.
See, it's all in your mind.
So good.
It's all in your mind.
So let me say something.
That was a good one.
That was really good.
And I'll tell you,
I'll tell you this, man.
It's...
What a time to trick me
because I had a terrible night last night.
What happened?
Are you trickable right now?
I'm so trickable, dude.
Why?
Well, last night...
What was last night?
What do you mean,
what was last night?
Last night was just a...
It was Halloween.
It was Halloween.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, it was.
Was it not?
It was.
It was.
Last night was,
this is Halloween.
This is Halloween.
A lot of tricks, dude.
Did you hand out any candy?
No, I turned off all the lights.
The front porch.
Oh, I like it.
So I pretend no one's there.
Like a recluse.
Like a recluse, right?
Nice.
And I just look to see
if there's any lights.
You know, sometimes they have candles.
You know, the kids,
you know what I mean?
The kids.
Safety lights.
Yeah.
None around.
So I go,
you know what?
I'm going to sleep early tonight.
440 pieces of candy
I handed out yesterday.
440.
That's great.
Yeah.
Is that a record?
I dressed up like Ken.
No, the first year I think
I lived in the neighborhood
was the most.
I dressed up like Ken.
We played music.
We had a fog machine.
We had a little dance party
on the driveway.
I had music bumping.
And one of the dads
came up to me
at the end of the night
and said,
hey, thanks a lot
for doing this.
Really?
And that's all that I wanted.
Oh, God.
Yeah, because I think
it's important for the kid, man.
I don't live in a neighborhood
that does that.
I'm not saying you.
You live in the Hollywood Hills.
You guys don't need
to get candy.
The hills, they don't do it
in the hills.
The hills, they have eyes.
They have deep,
they're deep steeps.
Yeah, by the way,
that's where kids go
to get kidnapped
up in the Hollywood Hills.
You're flatland.
I'm in the flats, kiddo.
With the Mexicans.
Yes, that's exactly right.
Oh, shit, I shouldn't say that.
My point is this.
I would love to hand out candy,
but they just never around.
They don't come to my hood.
They all come to my hood.
So last night, I go,
you know what's home
on with sleep early, right?
I go to bed,
but I forget,
guess what I forget?
To masturbate.
No.
Oh, that's true.
Oh my God, Carlos,
how did you call that?
That is true.
He just knows?
No, I told him earlier
that I forgot that.
What did you forget
to do last night?
Eat dinner.
Oh, no.
So you had to wake up
in the middle of the night
and eat something?
No, not in the middle of the night,
four in the morning.
That's just the middle of the night.
So I go to bed at nine.
P.M.?
Yes.
That's impossible.
I try.
You went to bed at nine P.M.?
Yeah, I was that tired.
No fucking way.
Were you sick?
No.
So you went to bed at nine.
I'm going to go to bed at nine
like a Christian.
Hey, cross off.
Because I don't do the Hollywood thing.
I'm Christian on Halloween.
Do you say a prayer
before you go to sleep?
I do, dear God.
Let's hear your little prayer.
Dear God, amen.
He fills in the middle.
You got to let him do it.
I let him fill the middle, dude.
Blank check.
Right, it's a blank check.
Well, you know,
Jesus take the wheel.
Jesus take over this prayer.
Finish it for me.
Well, Jesus,
I should have filled it in
because what he gave me
was a stomachache.
All right.
But go to bed hungry.
So at four in the morning,
I wake up.
First, you know, Gooner.
Yeah, Gooner, Gooner.
You know who Gooner is?
Your dog.
No, I have a cat.
The orange cat, Gooner.
Yeah.
At around four in the morning,
if I don't put earplugs in,
I hear...
You know,
you're so bad at sounds,
it could be anything.
No, dude, I'm so...
He could be taking shit, scratching.
Dude, I'm...
The next fucking police academy morning,
I'm Michael Winslow, dude.
Hmm.
They hired me, dude.
Let me hear you do a garbage truck.
Okay.
That's good.
Pretty good.
Give me another one.
Give me another one.
Let me hear you do something.
Oh, this one.
Aye, aye.
What's that?
You when you come.
Yes.
Yeah.
How about this?
Oh, no.
Ding, ding.
You drinking toilet water?
Ding, ding.
You lifting up a lid
and drinking toilet water?
Ding, ding.
Yes, dude.
Yes, I get it.
Thank you, so I'm good.
You're very good.
Anyway, I hear...
Right, it's Gooners
trying to get in my room.
Cat scratch fever.
Yeah, yeah.