Name: Bobby's Date Night w/ Margot Robbie! Once Upon A Time In Bobbywood!
Uploaded: 2023-12-22T14:00:42.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby's Date Night w/ Margot Robbie! Once Upon A Time In Bobbywood!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby's Date Night w/ Margot Robbie! Once Upon A Time In Bobbywood!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-22. Transcript available.

- I wonder if there's a star that would hit on me
and I would just go, "I just can't."
Like a hot starlet.
- Margot Robbie.
- No Margot Robbie.
- You would say no to Margot Robbie?
- Too hot.
- What do you mean too hot?
- Dude, she's, it would be like,
do you get what I'm saying?
- Yeah, pressure.
- I would be there and I'd be like,
I'd look down, 'cause that's what you do.
Like in a war, right, in a war, right?
Back in the day when they had muskets
and the war's starting, right?
And you have your musket, right?
And you have to look down
to see if all the stuff is in there.
- You don't really.
- Yeah, but I would.
- Okay.
Immediately dead.
- No, no, no, no, no.
- How did, how did Private Lee die?
- I didn't light it, yeah.
- Shot himself in the fucking head.
- 'Cause he would look down the barrel.
No, no, no.
I would just see if everything's in, like,
so I would look at my dick and go,
is everything there?
Is my sack, if the sack there, is the sack there?
- I think if Margot Robbie was with you,
you'd be just fine.
Saying you don't wanna get with Margot Robbie.
- If she doesn't kiss, then no.
- If she doesn't kiss?
- You are insane.
- You're crazy.
- No, I can't get, you know my thing.
- I know.
- I can't get hard.
- Period.
- No, I can.
Unless I know that they like me.
- Blue Chew!
No.
- Right, and so the way I know that a woman likes me,
if they make out.
And I can feel during the make out section that they like me.
- Right.
- Right, so then I go, okay, I'm in.
But if I'm in a situation where they don't like me,
I can't get aroused.
- How many girls have you slept with that don't like you?
- Careful.
- None.
- So what do you mean?
- But I've been in situations where one time,
okay, one time I did this comedy club.
I can't name the guy.
- Okay.
- But I guess, you know, he go, I show up at this town,
he goes, I got you a woman.
- Got you a woman.
- And I go, what do you mean?
- Yeah, was this 1966?
- Yeah, and I go, what do you mean?
He's like, a woman of the night.
I go, who told you that I need this?
- Carlos.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then I walked in the hotel room,
there was a woman in my hotel room.
- Just sitting on the bed.
- Yeah, and she goes, hi, so-and-so.
And I go, yeah, get out, I can't do it.
- You didn't even ask her what they paid for?
- No.
- Can you imagine if you got like a discount package?
She's like, hi, I can jerk you off,
but it's with my feet.
- There's a girl in West Hollywood who does that,
just their feet.
- Of course you know the girl.
- Of course you know that.
- She just feet, 'cause she doesn't wanna touch the penis.
- I just need somebody to like,
I have to know that they like me before I do it.
- Let me tell you something,
saying no that you wouldn't wanna go on a date
with Margot Robbie because she's too hot
is like saying, I don't wanna ride down a mountain on skis
because it's over at some point.
It's like, who the fuck cares?
Yes, it's a quick ride, Margot Robbie's never gonna-
- What if they don't wanna go down the mountain on skis?
- No, she's letting you ride down the mountain,
but you're like, it's gonna be over at some point.
- What if you don't like skiing?
- Then you don't like Margot Robbie.
- Bingo.
- Oh wow.
- Yeah.
Would you?
- I'll take a date with Margot Robbie?
- You're right, I would go.
- What?
- Yeah.
- You're right, I would go.
I would try.
If I didn't try, I wouldn't know.
- Yeah.
- Right, so it's like, I would go in,
and she goes, no, no, just eat my pussy.
I'd just be like, okay.
- And then kicks you out.
And then the moment you're done, she goes, get out.
There's an Uber outside, get the fuck out.
- I don't get to come?
- What, gross, yuck, get out.
- Oh, I wouldn't ask her that.
It would just be internal dialogue.
- No, I know, but she heard you say it inside.
She's that good.
- Oh, but my favorite one.
- Yeah.
- Does that, so I go.
- And then she goes.
- Get out.
- Get out, are you, what are you, insane?
And by the way, and then tomorrow,
you're gonna call her anyway.
- Right.
- Margot, I had a great time.
Yeah, I know you did, loser.
- When can I, when can I do it again?
- Whenever the fuck I want.
I'll call you later.
- Okay, okay, whenever, I'll be at 24/7.
Call me anytime.
- If a genie granted you one wish, what would it be?
- Okay, I was, I'm, where do you find the,
where do you find the bottle?
- Where do we find the genie bottle?
- Yeah, you find it on a beach or the desert?
- Erwan.
- Erwan.
- Do they sell genie lamps?
- Oh, I'm at Erwan.
- Yeah.
- What do you think a wish would cost?
- Probably like a hundred dollars or at least.
- Yeah.
- Per a wish, it'd be like a hundred grand at Erwan.
- Yeah, at Erwan, yeah.
- Oh, if you got, literally, if you got one wish,
literally, that would cost probably 25 million.
- This is interesting.
Does the genie, does the genie and its lamp
and its wish giveth, does that come from where it's located?
Like where the lamp is found?
Like you would find it in Beverly Hills.
- Yeah.
- Is he like a fancy looking genie
that gives you like unlimited wishes?
But if you find one in like, you know, Torrance,
is he like, dude, you get a half a wish.
I got it.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, I got mine at Ralph's.
- Yeah, if you have a lamp that you find at Vaughn's.
- What's a half wish?
- Half wish, right?
You may, only some of it's gonna come true.
- Yeah.
- Oh.
- The genie's kind of lazy.
- My one wish, my one wish would be,
that's a tough one, huh?
- For bad friends to last forever.
- For me and Andrew to live forever.
- For you and I to live forever?
- Yeah.
- Wow, dude, can you imagine the apocalypse?
Everyone's gone, everything doesn't exist,
except for you and I.
- But then you have a wish,
and you can make that better.
You could double down on our wish.
- Wait, imagine though, I had the same wish,
and the genie's like, you fucking idiots,
you both wish for the same thing.
So we just live together.
- Oh no, I'd be mad, I'd go, no pussy, dude?
- No, dude, I thought you did that.
- That was my first question.
- No, if we ever get a fucking wish, all right?
- Okay, let's do it.
- I'm gonna go, me and Andrew live forever,
and your wish would be?
- That we live forever.
- No!
- Oh, I fucked it up again?
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- That we get a, like, our, our, our, our--
- I get it.
- The love of our lives would live forever, too.
- You do a wish, I'll do one, ready, go.
- All right, all right, genie.
May I call you genie?
- Yes, you may.
- You're a genie.
- Oh, sorry, my eyes, okay.
- I'm a lady genie.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Whoa. - Whoa, my bad.
- This genie looks a lot different
than I thought genies would look like.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Well, I'm, you know, I have magic,
so I can transform.
- Cool.
- So anyway, my one wish is for me and Andrew
to live forever.
- Which Andrew?
- Santino.
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- The one I do the podcast with.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Do I get a wish, genie?
- Um, okay, you guys live forever.
What's your, uh--
- My wish--
- Andrew, think about it.
- I got it.
My wish is that me and my best friend,
Bobby, live forever.
- What?
- Okay, it's done.
- What?
- See you guys later, bye.
- We're doing it.
- No, dude.
- I take it back.
- Wait, so if you're the last ones on earth,
you guys are fucking right?
- We're so old at that point.
- Wish granted.
- No, because there's still gonna be sex wars.
- That was my secret wish, you didn't know.
- No, you know what I would go?
I'd go, hey, let's get this motorcycle,
'cause we'd have motorcycles.
- Of course we have motorcycles.
- Right, how do we not?
- We gotta go to San Marcos.
You know what's at San Marcos?
- What?
- You don't know what's at San Marcos?
- No.
- San Marcos, San Diego.
- Oh yeah?
- The real doll factory.
- Oh.
- Think about it.
- Just two best friends going--
- Going to the real doll factory.
- Sex doll factory.
- And we go in there and we can put the parts.
- But you know what'll happen?
- What?
- We'll use 'em all, we'll never clean 'em
and then we'll run out.
- No, we live there.
- And we gotta go find another sex doll factory.
This is a movie, two best--
- This is like our Harold and Kumar.
They're trying to go to White Castle.
We just are trying to go get sex toys.
So we're traveling the country going from sex toy factory,
sex toy factory.
We use 'em once, we throw 'em away
and then we gotta go find a new one.
- Well I'm sure there's about 500 of them.
Well then let's get started.
- And they're not one use things.
You can use probably one for a year.
- It's actually a good movie.
Two best friends set out to go because of the apocalypse.
Instead of going to get like food or rations,
they wanna go to the ultimate sex toy factory
to have sex with the most realistic doll
that's just been imported from Japan.
- Yeah. - Basically a human.
- Yeah. - And it's a journey.
That's our Harold and Kumar.
- That's funny.
- Going to the sex toy. - And when we get there,
what happens?
They become real in a weird way.
- They kill us, yeah, they kill us for sure.
They're hunting us and killing us.
- They're the reasons why there is no more people
in the world because they're aliens.
- Everyone's been getting killed by sex dolls
which are inhabited by aliens.
- Yeah.
If we're the last people on Earth,
okay, once we went to the sex place store,
I get a bunch of real dolls.
- I know we're joking about this, but I do--
- Where would you go?
- I do think this is coming soon.
- Where would you wanna go?
- The end of the world.
Where would I go what?
- Like if you and I are the only ones on Earth
and I'm like, we gotta go to San Marcos
and you'd probably go, all right, let's go.
- I'd go for you, yeah.
- But then where would you wanna go after that?
- That's so fun.
- Yeah.
- Where's my place to go to?
- Yeah, I'll go anywhere.
- I'd want you to drive across the country with me
to Augusta National to go play
probably the most coveted golf course in the world.
- Wait, how long--
- Go ahead.
- How long do you think gasoline would be like available?
- There's gotta be so much.
- So much of it.
- For just two people.
- We'd never run out.
- Never run out.
- I don't know how to use generators, do you?
- Yeah, what do you mean?
- Please.
- But we need gasoline for a generator.
- No, but I know there's gonna be gas around
but I don't know how any of it works.
- I got ya, baby.
That's why you, that's why--
- Lighting?
- What do you mean?
- How do we light up a place?
- Electricity, he means.
- Yes.
That's what I meant.
- Well, the grid will be down
so we'll have to use candles at night.
- Or generators.
- You know, Jenny's with a big light that's heavy.
We might as well just use candles.
- They're loud.
They're really loud.
- Yeah, yeah, right.
- And then here's what we'll do.
Every house we stay in,
when we're done, we'll just burn it to the ground.
- That's awesome.
- Oh, that's fun.
- Yeah.
Oh, and can I ask you this?
- Like we'll stay in LeBron James' house.
- Can we have like a million dogs?
- We'll have, well, first of all,
they'll be following us.
We'll be the only ones finding food.
We'll naturally just acquire dogs.
- Dude, that's what would happen, right?
- Yeah.
- You would have like hundreds of dogs following around.
- No cats though.
- One.
- How, they'll never stay with us.
We're on the move.
- You don't know some of them.
- How are we gonna carry these dogs?
Are we gonna put them in a semi?
We gotta get a semi truck and back up with dogs.
- Here's what we do then.
And I'm being real.
- Okay.
- No, I'm being real.
- So am I.
- I go, we have to find one place to stay.
- No.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll stay there.
- We'll stay in the greatest place on earth.
- Where?
- Austin, Texas.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Santa or the universe, we'll go to Joe's house.
- Yeah.
- No, a different Joe.
Joe Biden.
- Oh, the White House.
- Yes, you guys gotta, at least one night stay there.
- The White House, and we'll paint it,
we'll paint it yellow.
- Yes.
- We're gonna go, we're gonna own the white,
we're gonna live in the White House.
That's what we're gonna do.
- Okay, anyway, wherever we go, right?
We keep the dogs there.
I'll stay there with them.
- Fine, and I'll go on a journey.
- And then you gotta go to San Marcos,
get me this sex though.
- Oh my God.
- If you bring down, if you bring back like,
you know, not the good kind.
- You know what's gonna end up happening?
- What?
- I do.
- Go ahead.
- You're going to try to make Andrew be your servant.
- Mm-hmm.
And Andrew's just gonna go off on his own.
- Get you sex dolls, you're gonna find food
'cause there's no Uber Eats, no Steakhouses.
- Don't be silly.
- That's, she's right.
- Oh yeah.
- Meatball food.
- What are you providing?
- Food is all gonna go bad.
- Number one, you guys are so dumb, dude.
Number one, okay, I can go to a Vaughan's, right?
Frozen food's out.
- Yeah, there's no more frozen food, it's gone.
- Exactly, right?
Vegetable, fresh, anything fresh is out.
- Correct, it's only cans of food.
- But canned food, I know how to open those.
- Good, yeah.
- You just act like you can't plant seeds yourself.
- I know how there's pots, right?
And I know how to pour beans in a pot.
- Correct.
- And start a fire, 'cause the lighters will be there.
- That's right.
- Right, right, and there'll be wood.
- It's true.
- To do a bonfire.
- Yeah.
- I'm gonna start a Michelin star restaurant by myself
that no one shows up to every night,
but I prep like someone is gonna come.
- Oh, that's so sad.
- And I stand outside with a towel on my arm.
And as just as the wind, just a languid wind,
I just go, "Care for some Italian?"
- Yeah.
- And I just stand by myself, losing my mind,
but I cook like feverishly every day.
- And I'll be the wine guy.
- You finally show up.
Like Lieutenant Dan DeForest Gump,
you finally show up.
- I have no legs, I have no legs.
- Why did you lose your legs?
- The fire, I was making beans.
- Lieutenant Lee let his legs on fire.
- I was making beans and I found Andrew again.
He never got the sex dolls,
but here we have this restaurant now.
- The movie's called Lieutenant Lee's Legs.
- Yeah.
- 'Cause, and then you replaced your legs
with the sex doll legs.
- Yeah.
- If Bobby's bottom half was a sex doll.
- Uh-huh, yes I would.
- Okay.
- Okay, of course.
What are we even talking about at some point?
Of course I would.
- Yeah.
- If your bottom half fell off
and we had to put a sex doll on the bottom,

Bobby's Date Night w/ Margot Robbie! Once Upon A Time In Bobbywood!

- I wonder if there's a star that would hit on me
and I would just go, "I just can't."
Like a hot starlet.
- Margot Robbie.
- No Margot Robbie.
- You would say no to Margot Robbie?
- Too hot.
- What do you mean too hot?
- Dude, she's, it would be like,
do you get what I'm saying?
- Yeah, pressure.
- I would be there and I'd be like,
I'd look down, 'cause that's what you do.
Like in a war, right, in a war, right?
Back in the day when they had muskets
and the war's starting, right?
And you have your musket, right?
And you have to look down
to see if all the stuff is in there.
- You don't really.
- Yeah, but I would.
- Okay.
Immediately dead.
- No, no, no, no, no.
- How did, how did Private Lee die?
- I didn't light it, yeah.
- Shot himself in the fucking head.
- 'Cause he would look down the barrel.
No, no, no.
I would just see if everything's in, like,
so I would look at my dick and go,
is everything there?
Is my sack, if the sack there, is the sack there?
- I think if Margot Robbie was with you,
you'd be just fine.
Saying you don't wanna get with Margot Robbie.
- If she doesn't kiss, then no.
- If she doesn't kiss?
- You are insane.
- You're crazy.
- No, I can't get, you know my thing.
- I know.
- I can't get hard.
- Period.
- No, I can.
Unless I know that they like me.
- Blue Chew!
No.
- Right, and so the way I know that a woman likes me,
if they make out.
And I can feel during the make out section that they like me.
- Right.
- Right, so then I go, okay, I'm in.
But if I'm in a situation where they don't like me,
I can't get aroused.
- How many girls have you slept with that don't like you?
- Careful.
- None.
- So what do you mean?
- But I've been in situations where one time,
okay, one time I did this comedy club.
I can't name the guy.
- Okay.
- But I guess, you know, he go, I show up at this town,
he goes, I got you a woman.
- Got you a woman.
- And I go, what do you mean?
- Yeah, was this 1966?
- Yeah, and I go, what do you mean?
He's like, a woman of the night.
I go, who told you that I need this?
- Carlos.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then I walked in the hotel room,
there was a woman in my hotel room.
- Just sitting on the bed.
- Yeah, and she goes, hi, so-and-so.
And I go, yeah, get out, I can't do it.
- You didn't even ask her what they paid for?
- No.
- Can you imagine if you got like a discount package?
She's like, hi, I can jerk you off,
but it's with my feet.
- There's a girl in West Hollywood who does that,
just their feet.
- Of course you know the girl.
- Of course you know that.
- She just feet, 'cause she doesn't wanna touch the penis.
- I just need somebody to like,
I have to know that they like me before I do it.
- Let me tell you something,
saying no that you wouldn't wanna go on a date
with Margot Robbie because she's too hot
is like saying, I don't wanna ride down a mountain on skis
because it's over at some point.
It's like, who the fuck cares?
Yes, it's a quick ride, Margot Robbie's never gonna-
- What if they don't wanna go down the mountain on skis?
- No, she's letting you ride down the mountain,
but you're like, it's gonna be over at some point.
- What if you don't like skiing?
- Then you don't like Margot Robbie.
- Bingo.
- Oh wow.
- Yeah.
Would you?
- I'll take a date with Margot Robbie?
- You're right, I would go.
- What?
- Yeah.
- You're right, I would go.
I would try.
If I didn't try, I wouldn't know.
- Yeah.
- Right, so it's like, I would go in,
and she goes, no, no, just eat my pussy.
I'd just be like, okay.
- And then kicks you out.
And then the moment you're done, she goes, get out.
There's an Uber outside, get the fuck out.
- I don't get to come?
- What, gross, yuck, get out.
- Oh, I wouldn't ask her that.
It would just be internal dialogue.
- No, I know, but she heard you say it inside.
She's that good.
- Oh, but my favorite one.
- Yeah.
- Does that, so I go.
- And then she goes.
- Get out.
- Get out, are you, what are you, insane?
And by the way, and then tomorrow,
you're gonna call her anyway.
- Right.
- Margot, I had a great time.
Yeah, I know you did, loser.
- When can I, when can I do it again?
- Whenever the fuck I want.
I'll call you later.
- Okay, okay, whenever, I'll be at 24/7.
Call me anytime.
- If a genie granted you one wish, what would it be?
- Okay, I was, I'm, where do you find the,
where do you find the bottle?
- Where do we find the genie bottle?
- Yeah, you find it on a beach or the desert?
- Erwan.
- Erwan.
- Do they sell genie lamps?
- Oh, I'm at Erwan.
- Yeah.
- What do you think a wish would cost?
- Probably like a hundred dollars or at least.
- Yeah.
- Per a wish, it'd be like a hundred grand at Erwan.
- Yeah, at Erwan, yeah.
- Oh, if you got, literally, if you got one wish,
literally, that would cost probably 25 million.
- This is interesting.
Does the genie, does the genie and its lamp
and its wish giveth, does that come from where it's located?
Like where the lamp is found?
Like you would find it in Beverly Hills.
- Yeah.
- Is he like a fancy looking genie
that gives you like unlimited wishes?
But if you find one in like, you know, Torrance,
is he like, dude, you get a half a wish.
I got it.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, I got mine at Ralph's.
- Yeah, if you have a lamp that you find at Vaughn's.
- What's a half wish?
- Half wish, right?
You may, only some of it's gonna come true.
- Yeah.
- Oh.
- The genie's kind of lazy.
- My one wish, my one wish would be,
that's a tough one, huh?
- For bad friends to last forever.
- For me and Andrew to live forever.
- For you and I to live forever?
- Yeah.
- Wow, dude, can you imagine the apocalypse?
Everyone's gone, everything doesn't exist,
except for you and I.
- But then you have a wish,
and you can make that better.
You could double down on our wish.
- Wait, imagine though, I had the same wish,
and the genie's like, you fucking idiots,
you both wish for the same thing.
So we just live together.
- Oh no, I'd be mad, I'd go, no pussy, dude?
- No, dude, I thought you did that.
- That was my first question.
- No, if we ever get a fucking wish, all right?
- Okay, let's do it.
- I'm gonna go, me and Andrew live forever,
and your wish would be?
- That we live forever.
- No!
- Oh, I fucked it up again?
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- That we get a, like, our, our, our, our--
- I get it.
- The love of our lives would live forever, too.
- You do a wish, I'll do one, ready, go.
- All right, all right, genie.
May I call you genie?
- Yes, you may.
- You're a genie.
- Oh, sorry, my eyes, okay.
- I'm a lady genie.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Whoa. - Whoa, my bad.
- This genie looks a lot different
than I thought genies would look like.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Well, I'm, you know, I have magic,
so I can transform.
- Cool.
- So anyway, my one wish is for me and Andrew
to live forever.
- Which Andrew?
- Santino.
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- The one I do the podcast with.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Do I get a wish, genie?
- Um, okay, you guys live forever.
What's your, uh--
- My wish--
- Andrew, think about it.
- I got it.
My wish is that me and my best friend,
Bobby, live forever.
- What?
- Okay, it's done.
- What?
- See you guys later, bye.
- We're doing it.
- No, dude.
- I take it back.
- Wait, so if you're the last ones on earth,
you guys are fucking right?
- We're so old at that point.
- Wish granted.
- No, because there's still gonna be sex wars.
- That was my secret wish, you didn't know.
- No, you know what I would go?
I'd go, hey, let's get this motorcycle,
'cause we'd have motorcycles.
- Of course we have motorcycles.
- Right, how do we not?
- We gotta go to San Marcos.
You know what's at San Marcos?
- What?
- You don't know what's at San Marcos?
- No.
- San Marcos, San Diego.
- Oh yeah?
- The real doll factory.
- Oh.
- Think about it.
- Just two best friends going--
- Going to the real doll factory.
- Sex doll factory.
- And we go in there and we can put the parts.
- But you know what'll happen?
- What?
- We'll use 'em all, we'll never clean 'em
and then we'll run out.
- No, we live there.
- And we gotta go find another sex doll factory.
This is a movie, two best--
- This is like our Harold and Kumar.
They're trying to go to White Castle.
We just are trying to go get sex toys.
So we're traveling the country going from sex toy factory,
sex toy factory.
We use 'em once, we throw 'em away
and then we gotta go find a new one.
- Well I'm sure there's about 500 of them.
Well then let's get started.
- And they're not one use things.
You can use probably one for a year.
- It's actually a good movie.
Two best friends set out to go because of the apocalypse.
Instead of going to get like food or rations,
they wanna go to the ultimate sex toy factory
to have sex with the most realistic doll
that's just been imported from Japan.
- Yeah. - Basically a human.
- Yeah. - And it's a journey.
That's our Harold and Kumar.
- That's funny.
- Going to the sex toy. - And when we get there,
what happens?
They become real in a weird way.
- They kill us, yeah, they kill us for sure.
They're hunting us and killing us.
- They're the reasons why there is no more people
in the world because they're aliens.
- Everyone's been getting killed by sex dolls
which are inhabited by aliens.
- Yeah.
If we're the last people on Earth,
okay, once we went to the sex place store,
I get a bunch of real dolls.
- I know we're joking about this, but I do--
- Where would you go?
- I do think this is coming soon.
- Where would you wanna go?
- The end of the world.
Where would I go what?
- Like if you and I are the only ones on Earth
and I'm like, we gotta go to San Marcos
and you'd probably go, all right, let's go.
- I'd go for you, yeah.
- But then where would you wanna go after that?
- That's so fun.
- Yeah.
- Where's my place to go to?
- Yeah, I'll go anywhere.
- I'd want you to drive across the country with me
to Augusta National to go play
probably the most coveted golf course in the world.
- Wait, how long--
- Go ahead.
- How long do you think gasoline would be like available?
- There's gotta be so much.
- So much of it.
- For just two people.
- We'd never run out.
- Never run out.
- I don't know how to use generators, do you?
- Yeah, what do you mean?
- Please.
- But we need gasoline for a generator.
- No, but I know there's gonna be gas around
but I don't know how any of it works.
- I got ya, baby.
That's why you, that's why--
- Lighting?
- What do you mean?
- How do we light up a place?
- Electricity, he means.
- Yes.
That's what I meant.
- Well, the grid will be down
so we'll have to use candles at night.
- Or generators.
- You know, Jenny's with a big light that's heavy.
We might as well just use candles.
- They're loud.
They're really loud.
- Yeah, yeah, right.
- And then here's what we'll do.
Every house we stay in,
when we're done, we'll just burn it to the ground.
- That's awesome.
- Oh, that's fun.
- Yeah.
Oh, and can I ask you this?
- Like we'll stay in LeBron James' house.
- Can we have like a million dogs?
- We'll have, well, first of all,
they'll be following us.
We'll be the only ones finding food.
We'll naturally just acquire dogs.
- Dude, that's what would happen, right?
- Yeah.
- You would have like hundreds of dogs following around.
- No cats though.
- One.
- How, they'll never stay with us.
We're on the move.
- You don't know some of them.
- How are we gonna carry these dogs?
Are we gonna put them in a semi?
We gotta get a semi truck and back up with dogs.
- Here's what we do then.
And I'm being real.
- Okay.
- No, I'm being real.
- So am I.
- I go, we have to find one place to stay.
- No.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll stay there.
- We'll stay in the greatest place on earth.
- Where?
- Austin, Texas.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Santa or the universe, we'll go to Joe's house.
- Yeah.
- No, a different Joe.
Joe Biden.
- Oh, the White House.
- Yes, you guys gotta, at least one night stay there.
- The White House, and we'll paint it,
we'll paint it yellow.
- Yes.
- We're gonna go, we're gonna own the whi