Name: Rudy Teaches Us About ONE PIECE!
Uploaded: 2023-12-29T11:00:29.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Rudy Teaches Us About ONE PIECE!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Rudy Teaches Us About ONE PIECE!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-29. Transcript available.

Monkey D. Luffy, Monkey D. Luffy, Monkey D. Luffy, Monkey D. Luffy, Monkey D. Luffy,
Monkey D. Luffy, Monkey D. Luffy, Monkey D. Luffy, Monkey D. Luffy, Monkey D. Luffy.
Happy birthday! Look at a one-piece blanket for the jewels. One-piece blanket
for you. Are you excited? Yeah, it's the best! Yeah. And look at, we got you a
gift down there.
We have the script for the two-piece. Yeah. Yeah, two-piece and three-piece,
and it's gonna be... You're one-piece, two-piece, three-piece. Yeah.
Can you guys, um, like, do your, like, famous lines? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah,
yeah. You ready?
Yeah. You know? I practice it. I practice it. Right? Okay.
To the window! To the walls! Till Zorro's got big balls! All these one-piece
crawl! Oh! That's not it. Carlos. That's what he sent me.
This is what he sent me. I live on the treetops with my Montgomery Ward pass.
Yeah! Is that not it?
No! What is... What's my famous... That's not the line? What's my famous line?
Why'd you... That doesn't make any sense, Montgomery Ward!
Yeah, that's why... You betrayed me!
What is the line I'm supposed to say? Yeah, what's the line?
So you have three swords. You do... You attack with three swords.
Three is unnecessary. Who holds the third one? My dick?
Mouth! I hold it in my mouth?
Uh-huh. I go...
Yeah!
How can he say his line with the... Yeah.
I don't know. Zorro says it.
What... Zorro says it? What does Zorro say?
Santorio. Santorio.
Santorio.
Santorio. What is monkey man?
You say...
Gama-gama-bazooka.
Gama-gama-bazooka.
Do-do-do-do.
Santorio.
Santorio.
Shut up, dude. I'm doing it.
Yeah, yeah.
Santorio.
Gama-gama-cucha.
What was mine?
Gama-gama-bazooka.
Okay, hold on, hold on.
Gama-gama-bazooka.
Go ahead.
Santorio.
Gama-gama-bazooka.
And your hand stretches really far because you're a rubber.
You got a big finger.
Oh, my finger or my hand?
Any.
Any? Okay, right.
We'll do it again. Here, ready?
You got to make it serious.
We are.
He's serious.
Santorio.
Gama-gama-bazooka.
If that's not it.
Now, clap for us.
Happy birthday, Rudy Jules.
What did you get in the bag there?
And how old are you today?
40?
22.
Ooh, those lines in your face are bad.
You do look old.
It's nausical.
I don't believe you got this.
This is from Andres.
No way.
That's from me and Bob.
Dude, we went to the fucking bitch.
We went to the store yesterday.
We went to Little Tokyo.
Little Tokyo.
No.
Yeah, we did.
Yeah, we did.
We went to Little Tokyo yesterday, dude.
Santorio.
Gama-gama-bazooka.
This is the best.
What is it?
It's Nausica.
It's Nausica.
That's great.
I remember I picked that.
Nausica.
No, you did.
He picked that.
First edition.
It's the first one they printed.
Isn't that incredible?
Thank you, Andres.
Okay.
Dude, that's so ungrateful.
That's so disrespectful.
It's disrespectful.
I know, Andres got this for me.
Okay, can I also say this?
In the car, she goes, you know, she goes, I'm a loser.
I have no friends.
Do you not say, I have no friends?
And I go, well, you're friends with Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino.
That's not good enough?
Pretty huge, I would say.
I would say it's pretty fucking huge, dude.
And you all still got, Santoro.
Where's Gama?
Come on, dude.
I'm going to see the doll.
If I don't have it.
Oh, wait, wait.
When I do mine, you do have to do mine.
I know, but I got-
Santoro!
Gama, Gama, Bazooka!
Another Zorro!
It's so bad!
Relax.
Relax.
Relax.
Happy birthday.
Okay, last time.
There's no Gama, Gama?
And another Zorro!
Santoro!
Yo, yo, yo, yo.
Yo, dog.
Where's the Gama, Gama?
Monkey, monkey.
I thought she would want the Zorro only, not monkey.
Monkey, monkey.
Why am I dressed like this then?
Bobby, Bobby.
We were the ones that bought those gifts.
I know.
We were the ones that bought those.
We left at the store.
Yes.
I bought four of them.
We left at the store.
We left at the store.
We had to go get it.
So how happy are you today?
10 out of 10.
10 out of 10.
Good gift giving.
Good gift, big gift.
And let me say this to you.
Now let's transition back into the show.
Yeah.
Enough of her nonsense.
Okay.
So you're pissed off at Carlos and because you're best friend, Andrew.
Okay?
Can I say this too?
So funny.
I don't even, we have to air this.
Yeah.
You, man.
What?
That fucking Zoom meeting, you made me look like a fool.
You made me look like a fool.
Why?
Don't ever do that again.
And now they think I'm a fucking asshole.
No.
For the fans, so for the fans, no.
We are creating new merch shirts, my edition and Bob's edition.
And we're going to see which one you guys like the most.
And all we had to do was call a Zoom, a 10-minute Zoom with the merch company
to pitch what we wanted our editions to be, our special edition.
And how did he mess that up?
What's wrong?
What's up?
What happened?
What happened?
What do you mean?
What happened on the Zoom that you are mad at him?
Yeah, he did it.
What did he do?
He set it up.
And so why are you mad?
I wasn't ready.
Okay, we've known about it for weeks.
I told him.
For weeks.
I told him I wasn't ready.
You told him you weren't ready?
I told him I wasn't ready.
I wasn't ready.
I wasn't ready, right?
Because you have to do it.
I'm not ready.
Got it.
And then he puts me in the Zoom.
Yeah.
And now they think I'm an asshole.
And I know this happened.
I know that after I was off, you had to apologize on my behalf.
Like, I don't know.
I'm sorry, guys.
Right?
Not at all.
They're so used to work with artists.
I don't like the way he just said that.
You know what he just said?
They're so used to working with-
Prima Donnas.
Prima Donnas.
Yeah, Prima Donnas.
Difficult people.
Is that what you're saying?
That's what he said.
I wasn't being difficult.
You fucked me.
And you put me in a difficult situation.
You have another one on Monday.
This coming Monday.
That's tomorrow.
Yeah.
What time?
At 1 p.m.
I can't hear you that well when you're not talking to Monday.
At 1 p.m.
It's in your calendar.
Yeah.
You're going to have to push it.
I don't know it.
I don't know anything yet.
It's the middle of the night, 1 p.m.
But he chose the time.
Yeah.
You're going to push it to Tuesday.
Okay.
Honestly.
Push it to Tuesday.
I don't know the-
Don't get-
See?
That's-
Hold on.
Chill, chill, chill.
Oh, no.
Let me just-
Can I just-
I want to say this, okay?
Okay.
I want to say this, okay?
Yes.
Don't act like I'm having the attitude.
Okay.
Okay?
You're having the attitude.
Right.
All right?
I'm just being me.
I'm not ready.
We're really taking it away from her birthday.
Happy birthday!
Happy birthday!
So, listen.
You're 22.
That's amazing.
You have no friends in America, you said.
Mm-hmm.
You're just working constantly.
Who is that?
Oh, my God.
Wow.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
No, you have to answer it.
You have to answer it.
You have to answer it.
It's Matas.
Answer it.
Speaker.
Matas.
Napakos podcast.
Oh, Napakos podcast.
Napakos podcast.
Napakos podcast.
Napakos.
Napakos podcast.
Huh?
Bye, bye, bye.
Show us.
Show us.
Santoro!
Napakos podcast bazooka!
Okay, bye, Matas, bye.
She didn't want to see us.
She didn't want to see us at all.
She was so, oh, my God.
So upset.
We have something else for-
Oh, shit.
It's Jollibee Spaghetti.
Jollibee Spaghetti.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you.
That's enough.
That's enough.
No, no, no.
She doesn't get the whole song.
That's insane.
Okay.
You have to make a wish.
McCone, good job lighting seven of the ten candles.
Close your eyes.
Hold on.
Got to make it.
No, let her have the other ones unlit.
That does-
That's a symbolic.
What'd you wish for?
Nothing.
Good.
Good.
Well, you got it.
And you got it.
Let her eat the spaghetti.
You have to manifest something, man.
Yeah, you gotta manifest friendship.
Manifest something, man.
Why don't you manifest a little bit of friendship here in the United States?
So just close your eyes right now and manifest something.
Okay.
Try it again.
Think.
We'll all think together for you.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
What'd you think?
Friends, friends, friends, friends, friends.
Four of them.
That's it.
Friends, friends, friends, friends, friends.
Five.
That's good.
Five friends?
That's great.
Let's hope you get a friend.
So it'd be like the show Friends.
Six people.
Well, five now.
I'm sorry.
It was right there.
That was so good, dude.
I'm sorry.
It was right there.
I set you up.
That was great.
I'm sorry.
It was right there.
Yeah, yeah.
Five.
Five people.
And you know what?
What?
Okay.
Sun total.
I gotta take this out.
It's fine.
No.
You have to leave it on.
It's for her birthplace.
I hate it.
You're the captain.
You're the captain.
He loves the hat.
Just move it back out of your eyes a little bit.
There you go.
Good?
Yeah.
Good boy.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, so.
Wait, wait.
What kind of captain?
He's the captain of his ship.
The pirate.
How many people are on the ship?
There's you, Zoro, Nami, Sanji.
If you're saying five or six people.
Chopper, Brooke, Frankie, Jinbei.
Oh, can you handle that kind of responsibility?
That's a lot of people on your ship.
No, but.
Can I kick Jinbei off?
But you.
Luffy's really irresponsible, so you're the same.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Whoa, what?
Luffy, the captain.
So the captain is an irresponsible captain?
Yeah, he doesn't do captain.
Wait, wait, I thought I was the captain.
Yeah.
You are, you're Luffy.
I'm Luffy too?
Your name is Luffy.
What's the monkey part?
That's his name.
Luffy the monkey.
Monkey D. Luffy.
Monkey D. Luffy.
My bad.
Isn't that it?
Monkey D. Luffy.
And so, no, what I was saying is that being a captain of an eight-man ship
doesn't seem
that important.
I don't know, dude.
It's double the entire belly crew.
Wow.
We got to turn off that guy's mic.
Wow, wow, wow.
So here's the deal.
You know what?
I'm not doing that fucking meeting.
Thanks.
I'm not doing the meeting.
Thanks, Fancy.
Thanks.