Name: Bobby Lee NOT Invited to Comedy Store Party!
Uploaded: 2024-01-11T13:00:15.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee NOT Invited to Comedy Store Party!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee NOT Invited to Comedy Store Party!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-11. Transcript available.

Congress is back in session.
They've been in session.
What?
It's great when they are.
It's great when they are,
because I want them to keep going.
Why are you doing political?
No, I'm just telling you the good things
that are happening this last week.
What's good about that?
Who cares?
I couldn't think of something good,
so I just said that.
Yeah, the lizard people were back?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The lizard people are back
licking each other in the room.
Oh, the strike is over?
What strike?
Weren't we in one?
The actor's strike?
Yeah.
It's over?
It's over, man.
I've been out there every day.
I know, dude, you're by yourself,
and I should have said something.
I drove by you the other day.
You're by yourself.
I've been sitting out there.
At Paramount.
It's so sad.
What does your sign say?
What?
I mooned like four executives today.
Yeah.
What does my sign say?
Bring back two and a half men.
It also says red lives matter.
I don't even know what that means.
I said red life matters.
Oh, red life matters.
I was attacked by a security guard
outside of Warner Brothers.
Anyway.
It was racially charged.
Yeah.
There's no doubt in my mind.
What else is going on this last week?
This week was huge.
Huge.
I just got back from Vegas.
Yeah, you did, right?
Vegas was insane.
Dude, can I just say this?
That video you had with Bert and at that party.
Sucking on his titties.
Was it the best party?
Sucking on your titties like you wanted me, calling me.
Yeah, peaches, dude.
I love her.
And also, you know,
that party I'll never be invited to.
This is my favorite.
I love it.
This is my favorite.
I want to be a part of the party.
I'm going to Tim Dillon's party.
Sunday.
Are you going to go?
Yeah, I'm going.
Let's go.
I'm going.
What else happened?
Well, hold on.
I need to be-
A lot of butterflies hatched this week.
Where?
From cocoons.
I need to call-
Is it like a Hollywood thing?
I need to call someone.
Uh-oh.
I need to call someone.
I have people I can call, too, then.
It's not a competition.
Yeah, yeah.
I have cool people I can call.
No.
Yeah, I want to call someone cool, too.
I have someone cool, too.
Yeah.
It just made me mad
because what you just said
was such a, like-
Yeah, who said that?
Who are you calling?
I was calling Leanne Kreischer
because I literally said-
I literally said at the party,
I go,
I go, Bobby would love this.
This is so fun.
And then,
and she goes,
she goes,
yeah,
he got all upset about the Burt,
you know,
they offered you to go on the tour
or something like that.
And you're like saying
you never get invited.
If you get invited to stuff
all the time,
you just say no.
Yeah, but no means yes in my-
Not to people in the business,
no means no.
No.
No means yes for me, dude.
No is no.
Hey.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No never means no.
In this-
What, no means no?
No, yeah, yeah.
But I'm just saying me personally,
no means yes.
Ah.
Anyway-
And no, no-
Forget it, forget it, forget it,
forget it, forget it, forget it, forget it, forget it.
But how cute, though.
I did mention to Leanne
how much I wish you were at the party.
You would have liked it.
I love her.
It was so fun, so much fun.
Burt was doing his Burt thing,
like holding down the fort.
If Burt ever leaves her,
I'm going to slide in.
You're going to slide in on Leanne?
Yeah.
You think you're-
She's motherly, dude.
Well, yeah, she's-
Nurturing, mother, she's cool.
House is clean.
House is beautiful.
Yeah.
Leanne Lee.
Leanne Lee.
Leanne Lee.
Burt, watch out, dog.
It's just me, Leanne Lee.
Yeah.
What if she would have a Southern and Asian accent?
She's like, it's just me, Leanne Lee.
We'll do the Southern and Asian at the same time.
Watch out, man.
You can't do an Asian and Southern at the same time?
It's so hard to do.
Hey, ho, man.
I'm Chang Williams, man.
Chang Williams, man.
Yes.
From the Deep South.
Let's see, the Deep South.
Y'all want to go to Cracker Barrel?
Let's go to Cracker Barrel.
That's it.
You just nailed it, dude.
What else happened this week?
Oh, yeah.
What?
No, nothing else.
Oh, yeah.
Nothing really important.
Jet Ski got passed at the Comedy Store.
Let's give it up for the big Jet Ski.
You know, we were there at your showcase.
We were there.
We were there.
You told us to leave.
Yeah, you did.
You were like, get the fuck out of here.
Usually, you guys do your spots and bounce.
Yep.
And the timing of it was probably an hour, hour and a half until I go up.
So, I didn't want any, like, pressure on you to stay.
Pressure on us to stay?
Yeah.
We're American citizens, and we make decisions.
Yeah.
I pay my taxes sometimes, and dude, you know.
I was also worried that I go up there and everyone in the room is just going to
be like,
Bobby and Andrew are here.
Bobby and Andrew are here.
Yeah.
They did.
They did.
They kept turning around.
Should we laugh?
And we're like, laugh.
Bobby, right before you got on stage, you went like this.
You went, fucking laugh.
Right.
And then they would turn to me, and I go, right?
And they go, you know what I mean?
And they would turn, they would laugh at places they weren't supposed to laugh,
because they didn't really know.
That's okay.
In your act, you know what I mean?
But, you know, I would go, no, no, no, not Ben.
That's a setup.
Chill, chill, chill, chill, chill.
Chill.
Chill.
Chill.
So, you know, we directed them.
You guys were my stage vong.
No, you know, Neil Brennan made fun of us, huh?
Mm-hmm.
Neil Brennan ripped us apart.
Yeah, so what?
I'm not afraid of you, Neil.
Make fun of us.
He was.
We did get made fun of.
Yeah, we got made fun of.
Yeah, that we were a little stage mommy, because we were standing by the booth,
and we were both smiling.
Yeah.
And we were holding each other.
We were kind of holding each other.
We were cuddling a little bit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There was no more room.
All the seats were sold out.
And you went up there to a packed room, sold out house, standing room only.
Literally, people were standing in the back.
Yeah, it was incredible.
What a magical night.
And you had to follow a tough, tough run, because it went.
Ali Wong.
Ali Wong.
Neil.
I'm sorry.
Rick Ingram?
No, Ali Wong.
No, no, no, no, no.
Before Ron, someone went on before Ron and ripped.
Oh, I know.
Fihi Manwar.
Fihi.
And then Ron G.
Ali Wong, Fihi Manwar, Ron G, three killers.
I mean, and everyone.
You walked up.
Really, really was doing well.
I mean, you didn't do as good.
As good?
Oh, thank you.
What do you say?
As good as the other people?
No, dude.
I felt great about it.
She's a girl.
You killed her.
Of course she's not going to do well.
No, no.
She's a girl.
Am I honest with you?
You did so great, man.
Not just great.
You did better than Ron G.
Well, we don't need to be sad.
That's because you're racist, dude.
That's so fucked up, dude.
And you did better than Fahim.
I really do believe that.
Racist again.
The laughs you were getting, dude, were real.
I had.
And I went, I just went, I teared up, dude.
I was proud of our little girl.
Yeah, yeah, I teared up.
You guys would make me cry.
Proud of my kid.
You ripped and now you're a regular.
You get to call in.
And the best part is now you're going to get really late night spots.
That's my favorite.
Well, last night, what happened?
Last night, my first spot in the main room.
Guess who brought me up?
Who did?
Bobby.
The Bob?
You brought her on?
Yeah.
What time was your spot?
Oh, he gave me the most beautiful intro.
And he said-
Let me say something to you right now.
I give the best intros in LA history, dude.
I know.
I was waiting for it.
Of all the comics.
Of all the comics.
I give, ask anybody.
I give the best intros of the world.
Give me your, I'm bringing you up, Carlos.
Just give me your name.
I know your name.
I forgot for a second, right?
This next guy, dude.
Hold on, hold on.
This guy's a regular at our club?
Oh, no.
He's showcasing.
Oh, okay, good.
Can you make sure you, yeah, is this at the Oh Hot Dog venue?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Can you make sure that you say that while you're doing the intro with him?
And we're also in Lancashire.
Where are we at?
Monterey Park?
Modesto.
Modesto.
We're in Modesto.
The Oh Hot Dog Comedy Club.
The Oh Hot Dog Comedy Club in Modesto, California.
Opening weekend.
That's how bad we are.
Let's hear it.
We get Carlos.
Let's hear it.
As our first opening weekend headliner.
Thanks, guys.
Guys, next guy coming to stage, man.
Dude, in terms of like the king of all holes, glory holes, this guy top three,
dude.
Whoa.
Right?
Number two, dude.
He's not even like the brown kind of Mexican.
He's the, I know, but in terms of like the upper snooty Mexican,
Oh.
Right?
Yeah.
He's top of the line, dude.
Wow.
Wow.
This guy sounds like he's going to be great.
Right.
He's like the CEO of Baja Fresh.
Whoa.
That kind of Mexican.
And here he is?
No, no.
I'm not.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, yeah.
He's also, dude, he's only had warts twice.
Wow.
Yeah, right?
He's had warts twice.
And then also on top of it, dude, he's like, dude, in terms of drug addict, he
should be
the president of all that.
President of drug addict.
Of drug addict-ness.
Ladies and gentlemen.
And alcoholism.
Carlos.
And I'd go, last name?
I would say to the side.
Herrera.
Herrera.
Oh.
First joke out of the gate.
They come out.
Herrera.
They come out.
First joke out of the gate.
Go.
Go.
I would just throw my hat off.
Hat off, that's it?
Hat off and then walk off.
Oh, a physical joke.
No, we want a joke.
A stand-up joke.
Yeah, this is a hot joke.
And what's your opening joke?
Your 45 minutes.
And I'd have to do an opening joke.
I would literally take my hat off.
That's not a joke.
It's not a joke.
That's how I walk off.
Oh, wow.
That's what I would do.
Well, then I'm going to call you into the office.
I'm the manager.
Hey, can I talk to you for a second?
Yeah, man.
What's going on?
Hey, Andrew, how are you?
Hey, man.
Don't call me Mr. Santino, if you don't mind.
And I'm Mr. Lee.
Thank you.
Like you're...
Okay, let me just...
Can I ask you something?
Mr. Lee, yes.
I know the way you did that.
I know.
I know.
Mr. Lee, yes.
What's his name?
Mr. Santino.
Sit down.
Sit down.
Sit down.
You called us and said,
may I headline?
So we agreed.
Well, and begrudgingly.
It was only because earthquake fell out.
Yeah, earthquake.
And we tried to get hurricane tsunami.
Both of them.
Out of town.
Out of town.
All natural disaster comics,
out of town.
Out of town.
Then we tried to get hamburger.
Uh-huh.
Right?
And we were the old hot dog.
Obviously, we need to get hamburger.
And then you know...
Shucky-ducky.
Shucky-ducky couldn't do it.
And you know shrimp and grits.
You know him.
Shrimp and grits.
He couldn't do it.
He couldn't do it.
He was busy.
Yeah.
So naturally, as we fell down the list,
we got to you.
Which I'm grateful I'm on that list.
And by the way,
why did your email say,
you want to be called the Mexican Rexican?
What does that even mean?
What does that even mean?
It was just like a signature I had on Gmail.
Mexican Rexican is your signature on your email?
Yeah, on Gmail.
But like, I just want you to recognize me as that.
I don't think so, buddy.
And your rider is crazy.
It says, you want parachute pants?
Uh-huh.
But from 89?
And a parachute.
We're not going to get that.
1989 parachute pants?
What does that even mean?
I need to fly down from something
and I'm hoping the pants will like-
Well, what is this-
But that's for breaking-
On the rider,
this says you wanted a Sibian?
What's a Sibian?
What's a Sibian?
It's like a vibrating thing.
You sit on it
and it energizes your-
Is that for pre-performance stuff?
Yeah, it's just so I can loosen up.
What's this llama
that happens to have scoliosis?
Why do you do that?
I don't even know where to find a llama.
Specifically scoliosis?
It's like a sexual thing.
I don't want to-
Okay.
All right.
What is this thing on here
that says you need
one of the staff members
to read you Jack and the Beanstalk
when you're done with your set?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Is that like a comfort thing?
It's like a-
I have to be naked
when that happens.
I was hoping Mr. Lee
could do that part.
Yeah.
Mr. Lee is not telling you,
Mr. Santino,
that we talked earlier
and he was totally unbored.
We didn't actually talk.
This is what he said to me
and I forgot to tell you.
Because it feels like a lie.
It is a lie.
This is what he said.
He goes,
yo,
he said yo,
by the way.
I'm like,
what's up, dude?
The fuck?
What's up, Wayans?
Sean Wayans?
Yeah, I have a writer.
Everyone in Hollywood
is a writer.
Anyway, he said,
I don't need an opener.
Really?
I'm going to go up cold.
Really?
He went up,
he threw his hat down,
then he said goodnight.
The show was 45 seconds long.
You thought 45 minutes,
45 seconds.
You thought 45 seconds?
Wait.
Yeah.
No, it said seconds
on the thing.
On the writer,
I was like,
this is for a 45 second show.
Did we screw up
in that right time?
I mean,
it could have been
because she's our secretary.
It could be a clerical.
Wait, I mean,
you could,
but let me,
have you ever been
to a stand-up show?
Have you ever been
to a stand-up show
and the show
was 45 seconds long?
Yeah, I saw you perform
at the Comedy Store.
Oh my God.
Go.
Go fuck him up.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
You know what, dude?
The bit's funny,
so I'm going to let it go,
but holy shit, dude.
Holy shit,
that's so funny.
That was so funny.
You're a fucking jerk.
Why wasn't that in the show?
That could have been
your opening thing.
I brought you up,
fuckface.
But I saved the funny for backstage with Mr. Lee.
Yeah, you sure did.
Oh, you should.
Okay.
And Mrs. Juicy.

Bobby Lee NOT Invited to Comedy Store Party!

Congress is back in session.
They've been in session.
What?
It's great when they are.
It's great when they are,
because I want them to keep going.
Why are you doing political?
No, I'm just telling you the good things
that are happening this last week.
What's good about that?
Who cares?
I couldn't think of something good,
so I just said that.
Yeah, the lizard people were back?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The lizard people are back
licking each other in the room.
Oh, the strike is over?
What strike?
Weren't we in one?
The actor's strike?
Yeah.
It's over?
It's over, man.
I've been out there every day.
I know, dude, you're by yourself,
and I should have said something.
I drove by you the other day.
You're by yourself.
I've been sitting out there.
At Paramount.
It's so sad.
What does your sign say?
What?
I mooned like four executives today.
Yeah.
What does my sign say?
Bring back two and a half men.
It also says red lives matter.
I don't even know what that means.
I said red life matters.
Oh, red life matters.
I was attacked by a security guard
outside of Warner Brothers.
Anyway.
It was racially charged.
Yeah.
There's no doubt in my mind.
What else is going on this last week?
This week was huge.
Huge.
I just got back from Vegas.
Yeah, you did, right?
Vegas was insane.
Dude, can I just say this?
That video you had with Bert and at that party.
Sucking on his titties.
Was it the best party?
Sucking on your titties like you wanted me, calling me.
Yeah, peaches, dude.
I love her.
And also, you know,
that party I'll never be invited to.
This is my favorite.
I love it.
This is my favorite.
I want to be a part of the party.
I'm going to Tim Dillon's party.
Sunday.
Are you going to go?
Yeah, I'm going.
Let's go.
I'm going.
What else happened?
Well, hold on.
I need to be-
A lot of butterflies hatched this week.
Where?
From cocoons.
I need to call-
Is it like a Hollywood thing?
I need to call someone.
Uh-oh.
I need to call someone.
I have people I can call, too, then.
It's not a competition.
Yeah, yeah.
I have cool people I can call.
No.
Yeah, I want to call someone cool, too.
I have someone cool, too.
Yeah.
It just made me mad
because what you just said
was such a, like-
Yeah, who said that?
Who are you calling?
I was calling Leanne Kreischer
because I literally said-
I literally said at the party,
I go,
I go, Bobby would love this.
This is so fun.
And then,
and she goes,
she goes,
yeah,
he got all upset about the Burt,
you know,
they offered you to go on the tour
or something like that.
And you're like saying
you never get invited.
If you get invited to stuff
all the time,
you just say no.
Yeah, but no means yes in my-
Not to people in the business,
no means no.
No.
No means yes for me, dude.
No is no.
Hey.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No never means no.
In this-
What, no means no?
No, yeah, yeah.
But I'm just saying me personally,
no means yes.
Ah.
Anyway-
And no, no-
Forget it, forget it, forget it,
forget it, forget it, forget it, forget it, forget it.
But how cute, though.
I did mention to Leanne
how much I wish you were at the party.
You would have liked it.
I love her.
It was so fun, so much fun.
Burt was doing his Burt thing,
like holding down the fort.
If Burt ever leaves her,
I'm going to slide in.
You're going to slide in on Leanne?
Yeah.
You think you're-
She's motherly, dude.
Well, yeah, she's-
Nurturing, mother, she's cool.
House is clean.
House is beautiful.
Yeah.
Leanne Lee.
Leanne Lee.
Leanne Lee.
Burt, watch out, dog.
It's just me, Leanne Lee.
Yeah.
What if she would have a Southern and Asian accent?
She's like, it's just me, Leanne Lee.
We'll do the Southern and Asian at the same time.
Watch out, man.
You can't do an Asian and Southern at the same time?
It's so hard to do.
Hey, ho, man.
I'm Chang Williams, man.
Chang Williams, man.
Yes.
From the Deep South.
Let's see, the Deep South.
Y'all want to go to Cracker Barrel?
Let's go to Cracker Barrel.
That's it.
You just nailed it, dude.
What else happened this week?
Oh, yeah.
What?
No, nothing else.
Oh, yeah.
Nothing really important.
Jet Ski got passed at the Comedy Store.
Let's give it up for the big Jet Ski.
You know, we were there at your showcase.
We were there.
We were there.
You told us to leave.
Yeah, you did.
You were like, get the fuck out of here.
Usually, you guys do your spots and bounce.
Yep.
And the timing of it was probably an hour, hour and a half until I go up.
So, I didn't want any, like, pressure on you to stay.
Pressure on us to stay?
Yeah.
We're American citizens, and we make decisions.
Yeah.
I pay my taxes sometimes, and dude, you know.
I was also worried that I go up there and everyone in the room is just going to
be like,
Bobby and Andrew are here.
Bobby and Andrew are here.
Yeah.
They did.
They did.
They kept turning around.
Should we laugh?
And we're like, laugh.
Bobby, right before you got on stage, you went like this.
You went, fucking laugh.
Right.
And then they would turn to me, and I go, right?
And they go, you know what I mean?
And they would turn, they would laugh at places they weren't supposed to laugh,
because they didn't really know.
That's okay.
In your act, you know what I mean?
But, you know, I would go, no, no, no, not Ben.
That's a setup.
Chill, chill, chill, chill, chill.
Chill.
Chill.
Chill.
So, you know, we directed them.
You guys were my stage vong.
No, you know, Neil Brennan made fun of us, huh?
Mm-hmm.
Neil Brennan ripped us apart.
Yeah, so what?
I'm not afraid of you, Neil.
Make fun of us.
He was.
We did get made fun of.
Yeah, we got made fun of.
Yeah, that we were a little stage mommy, because we were standing by the booth,
and we were both smiling.
Yeah.
And we were holding each other.
We were kind of holding each other.
We were cuddling a little bit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There was no more room.
All the seats were sold out.
And you went up there to a packed room, sold out house, standing room only.
Literally, people were standing in the back.
Yeah, it was incredible.
What a magical night.
And you had to follow a tough, tough run, because it went.
Ali Wong.
Ali Wong.
Neil.
I'm sorry.
Rick Ingram?
No, Ali Wong.
No, no, no, no, no.
Before Ron, someone went on before Ron and ripped.
Oh, I know.
Fihi Manwar.
Fihi.
And then Ron G.
Ali Wong, Fihi Manwar, Ron G, three killers.
I mean, and everyone.
You walked up.
Really, really was doing well.
I mean, you didn't do as good.
As good?
Oh, thank you.
What do you say?
As good as the other people?
No, dude.
I felt great about it.
She's a girl.
You killed her.
Of course she's not going to do well.
No, no.
She's a girl.
Am I honest with you?
You did so great, man.
Not just great.
You did better than Ron G.
Well, we don't need to be sad.
That's because you're racist, dude.
That's so fucked up, dude.
And you did better than Fahim.
I really do believe that.
Racist again.
The laughs you were getting, dude, were real.
I had.
And I went, I just went, I teared up, dude.
I was proud of our little girl.
Yeah, yeah, I teared up.
You guys would make me cry.
Proud of my kid.
You ripped and now you're a regular.
You get to call in.
And the best part is now you're going to get really late night spots.
That's my favorite.
Well, last night, what happened?
Last night, my first spot in the main room.
Guess who brought me up?
Who did?
Bobby.
The Bob?
You brought her on?
Yeah.
What time was your spot?
Oh, he gave me the most beautiful intro.
And he said-
Let me say something to you right now.
I give the best intros in LA history, dude.
I know.
I was waiting for it.
Of all the comics.
Of all the comics.
I give, ask anybody.
I give the best intros of the world.
Give me your, I'm bringing you up, Carlos.
Just give me your name.
I know your name.
I forgot for a second, right?
This next guy, dude.
Hold on, hold on.
This guy's a regular at our club?
Oh, no.
He's showcasing.
Oh, okay, good.
Can you make sure you, yeah, is this at the Oh Hot Dog venue?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Can you make sure that you say that while you're doing the intro with him?
And we're also in Lancashire.
Where are we at?
Monterey Park?
Modesto.
Modesto.
We're in Modesto.
The Oh Hot Dog Comedy Club.
The Oh Hot Dog Comedy Club in Modesto, California.
Opening weekend.
That's how bad we are.
Let's hear it.
We get Carlos.
Let's hear it.
As our first opening weekend headliner.
Thanks, guys.
Guys, next guy coming to stage, man.
Dude, in terms of like the king of all holes, glory holes, this guy top three,
dude.
Whoa.
Right?
Number two, dude.
He's not even like the brown kind of Mexican.
He's the, I know, but in terms of like the upper snooty Mexican,
Oh.
Right?
Yeah.
He's top of the line, dude.
Wow.
Wow.
This guy sounds like he's going to be great.
Right.
He's like the CEO of Baja Fresh.
Whoa.
That kind of Mexican.
And here he is?
No, no.
I'm not.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, yeah.
He's also, dude, he's only had warts twice.
Wow.
Yeah, right?
He's had warts twice.
And then also on top of it, dude, he's like, dude, in terms of drug addict, he
should be
the president of all that.
President of drug addict.
Of drug addict-ness.
Ladies and gentlemen.
And alcoholism.
Carlos.
And I'd go, last name?
I would say to the side.
Herrera.
Herrera.
Oh.
First joke out of the gate.
They come out.
Herrera.
They come out.
First joke out of the gate.
Go.
Go.
I would just throw my hat off.
Hat off, that's it?
Hat off and then walk off.
Oh, a physical joke.
No, we want a joke.
A stand-up joke.
Yeah, this is a hot joke.
And what's your opening joke?
Your 45 minutes.
And I'd have to do an opening joke.
I would literally take my hat off.
That's not a joke.
It's not a joke.
That's how I walk off.
Oh, wow.
That's what I would do.
Well, then I'm going to call you into the office.
I'm the manager.
Hey, can I talk to you for a second?
Yeah, man.
What's going on?
Hey, Andrew, how are you?
Hey, man.
Don't call me Mr. Santino, if you don't mind.
And I'm Mr. Lee.
Thank you.
Like you're...
Okay, let me just...
Can I ask you something?
Mr. Lee, yes.
I know the way you did that.
I know.
I know.
Mr. Lee, yes.
What's his name?
Mr. Santino.
Sit down.
Sit down.
Sit down.
You called us and said,
may I headline?
So we agreed.
Well, and begrudgingly.
It was only because earthquake fell out.
Yeah, earthquake.
And we tried to get hurricane tsunami.
Both of them.
Out of town.
Out of town.
All natural disaster comics,
out of town.
Out of town.
Then we tried to get hamburger.
Uh-huh.
Right?
And we were the old hot dog.
Obviously, we need to get hamburger.
And then you know...
Shucky-ducky.
Shucky-ducky couldn't do it.
And you know shrimp and grits.
You know him.
Shrimp and grits.
He couldn't do it.
He couldn't do it.
He was busy.
Yeah.
So naturally, as we fell down the list,
we got to you.
Which I'm grateful I'm on that list.
And by the way,
why did your email say,
you want to be called the Mexican Rexican?
What does that even mean?
What does that even mean?
It was just like a signature I had on Gmail.
Mexican Rexican is your signature on your email?
Yeah, on Gmail.
But like, I just want you to recognize me as that.
I don't think so, buddy.
And your rider is crazy.
It says, you want parachute pants?
Uh-huh.
But from 89?
And a parachute.
We're not going to get that.
1989 parachute pants?
What does that even mean?
I need to fly down from something
and I'm hoping the pants will like-
Well, what is this-
But that's for breaking-
On the rider,
this says you wanted a Sibian?
What's a Sibian?
What's a Sibian?
It's like a vibrating thing.
You sit on it
and it energizes your-
Is that for pre-performance stuff?
Yeah, it's just so I can loosen up.
What's this llama
that happens to have scoliosis?
Why do you do that?
I don't even know where to find a llama.
Specifically scoliosis?
It's like a sexual thing.
I don't want to-
Okay.
All right.
What is this thing on here
that says you need
one of the staff members
to read you Jack and the Beanstalk
when you're done with your set?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Is that like a comfort thing?
It's like a-
I have to be naked
when that happens.
I was hoping Mr. Lee
could do 