Name: We All Go To Andrew Santino's Family's House for Thanksgiving!
Uploaded: 2024-01-12T13:00:23.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We All Go To Andrew Santino's Family's House for Thanksgiving!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We All Go To Andrew Santino's Family's House for Thanksgiving!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-12. Transcript available.

We're all going to my mom and dad's house for Thanksgiving.
Everyone's going to be there.
What day is that?
Thanksgiving's almost always on a Thursday.
Almost.
It's almost...
Let me ask you something.
Is Halloween always on a specific day?
The 31st.
Yeah, it's the 31st, yeah.
But is it like a Monday, Tuesday?
Is 31st always a certain day?
You're conflating two different things.
Thanksgiving's always on the Thursday.
Third Thursday.
The third Thursday.
Of November.
But it's not a specific...
The dates change.
The dates change.
The date does change, unfortunately.
Are you being real?
Yeah.
Okay, well, that's what I was confused about.
But you've never known that in 52 years, spinning on a shirt?
I swear to God, I haven't.
All the time you're sitting on the shirt that it spins around?
No.
Are we going...
I always thought it was like the 26th or something.
I never did it, so...
Well, you're about to do...
I literally Sunday, because Tim Dillon...
Has having his Thanksgiving party, so I go,
Oh, I've never been invited on Thanksgiving at dinner.
He's like, it's not Thanksgiving.
You were invited last year.
I was going to say last year, yeah.
You were invited with me last year, and you didn't come.
I'm going now.
You're really going to go this Sunday?
Yeah.
Good.
You're going to be?
Do you want to go together?
No, because I'm bringing somebody.
Who are you bringing, bad boy?
Who are you bringing?
A friend.
What I would really like is you and I go to a comics party as each other's
dates, but you
dress up like the woman, and I dress up like a man in a suit, and I take you on
a nice little
date.
But you have to be in character all night long.
Sure.
But it has to be like a Halloween party, right?
Or no?
Why?
I want it to be real.
So I just randomly show up to like Kim Dillon's birthday party as a woman.
I'm going to pick you up as a woman.
No, you be the woman.
But you're the woman.
How come I always be the woman?
Listen to the way you said it.
You sound like a woman.
Yeah, right.
Well, I always have to be a woman.
You sound like just a deep voice woman.
Yeah, yeah.
So how'd you do last night?
It was hard work, but it was good.
What do you mean?
The crowd was a little thin or something?
Well, last night was who?
Marc Maron, Bill Burr, Eliza.
Fucking me, bitch.
Well, yeah.
We already know you.
Oh, sorry, my bad.
I thought you were leaving me out of there.
When he introed me, he gave me this beautiful intro, and he says, so some of
you guys know
I'm on this podcast.
Repeat it.
I'm on this podcast.
Repeat the intro.
Intro.
Repeat it.
What an amazing show we've seen tonight.
I said that?
Yeah.
Okay.
And then you said, it's going to get better.
I don't remember.
Just what you think I said.
You said, I am going to bring up somebody very special.
Some of you guys might know that I have a podcast already.
Murmurs in the crowd.
Oh, my God.
Is it him?
Is it him?
She has been such a wonderful addition to our podcast.
And then they think, is it fancy?
I heard an audible, oh.
No, that's not real.
No, for real.
And then he said.
Oh, my God.
You're going to make me so fucking mad right now.
But then he said that she is the newest paid regular.
That is what happened.
Now, can I tell you what happened?
Okay, you tell me.
Okay, first of all, I said, we have something special coming up.
Yes.
Okay.
As you know that I have a podcast called Bad Friends.
They all thought it was Andrew.
No, three people stood up, right?
And I go, she, you know, I said, you know, in order to do this stage, you have
to get
passed as a paid regular.
And it's a very difficult thing to do.
It's a big deal.
It's a big deal, right?
This girl is our sidekick on Bad Friends.
She opens for us on the road or something like that.
And I go, this is her first spot as a paid regular.
And I can't, I'm so proud of her, right?
That's what I fucking said.
It made me so happy.
It sounds like that's what you said.
But it was for real.
Literally, there were people in the audience I could hear from backstage going,
oh.
No one said that, you fucking idiot, dude.
Why would I make that up?
Because you're delusional.
No.
You're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're influenced by them.
Can't you see how that could, and then I walked on stage and I said, thank,
like, give
it up for Bobby.
That was such a nice intro.
And sorry, I'm not Andrew.
And a bunch of people left.
Yeah, see, that's nice.
They left, right?
Yeah, they got it.
Well, the reason.
Oh, that they left.
And it was an all-stars lineup.
So they were thinking, Santino's coming up.
Well, I was originally on the lineup.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I, and I had to not be on it.
And then what did you call yourself at backstage?
I never heard that before.
Riff Raff.
Riff Raff.
After Bobby, I said this is where the Riff Raff starts.
So I didn't know.
Who was after you?
More Riff Raff.
Bruce and Quincy.
All great comics, but.
Great Riff Raff.
I never, but I've never, I've never, because we never, when we were new as a
paid regular,
we never called ourselves Riff Raff.
What'd you call yourself?
We just thought we were part of the lineup.
I, you know, I go, people are at different levels, but it made me sad that you
would like
say that about yourself.
Really?
I was, I was just being self-aware that people, you come to the comedy store to
see stars.
So there's a divide in the show where it's like.
Yeah, but you got, yeah, but you're, you're, you're part of the, you're a peer.
You're a regular now.
So you're a peer, even more so that you got passed.
Your name's going to be written in cursive on that wall.
It feels so crazy.
Isn't it kind of cool to be on that wall?
Yeah.
That's a cool.
What part are you in the wall?
Um, I've, I've seen urine on my name no less than a dozen times.
I know what part?
I'm not kidding.
Where?
I'm by the back entrance and I'm low to the ground.
People have pissed all over the bottom wall.
Drunk guys pee all over the wall there.
Can you move yours?
I've asked to move it multiple times.
You know where Ryan is?
Where?
Up front.
You're up front.
Not just up front.
Above the main room.
Oh, you are?
Yeah.
Next to Eddie Murphy.
Your headshot is also right by the original room.
Yeah.
I mean, you've been there for 50 years.
I don't have a headshot in the original room.
In the main room, I do.
In the hallway, leading to the original room.
I don't have a headshot in the hallway.
You want to bet?
I swear to God, I don't.
I've never seen a headshot there.
Better money.
Bet me.
A hundred bucks.
A hundred bucks.
I'm going to go there tonight.
Airshake.
Airshake.
Airshake.
Okay.
I'm texting the door, guys, because I don't want you moving it.
Oh, that's smart.
So it's somebody that put it in there accidentally?
I saw it last night because I was like, where's mine?
It's got to be new then.
It's got to be new.
No, it's an old headshot.
Okay.
Yeah.
But they put it up new, maybe.
Maybe they just re-put it up.
Maybe.
But your headshot, and I got a little mad.
I'm sorry.
But your headshot at the improv, it's in a very nice place.
Mine is not.
They're moving it next to mine.
Are they really?
Don't be honest.
I talked to him.
He said they're moving them.
He goes, do you want Bobby right next to you?
I said, yeah.
Because mine's in the back, somewhere weird.
You're in the hall, but you're going to come up to you and I.
No, I'm not in the hall.
I'm in the same hall.
I have three up.
Yeah.
I have one in the hall, one where the bathroom is, and one tiny one upstairs.
Yeah, I have one upstairs.
You're going to be right next to me in that entryway.
Thank you so much for moving me up.
I want you there.
Thank you so much.
It's not moving you up.
It's moving you where you're-
No, you're moving where all the cool people are.
Thank you so much.
There are a lot of cool people.
Yeah, they're not the best.
It is.
It's like the highest level of, right?
And I'm up with Whitney in the corner of some, you know.
I did say that at the party.
That was the first club that passed me.
The store didn't pass me.
The improv passed me first.
Wow.
And I still have the email.
It's a great club.
I have the email from the day I got passed on my birthday.
You know the chances of that?
Isn't that insane?
I got an email from Eric Abrams at the improv.
Say, congratulations from the improv.
You're not allowed to call in for spots.
I have something to share with you.
It's going to make you mad.
Go ahead.
And they told me not to say anything.
Who these guys did?
No, the improv.
What?
And I'm on a white do list.
What is it?
And I'm going to make it harder for myself.
What?
I just got a pay bump.
They're paying you more money to do spots?
Yeah.
And I go, I go, am I making more than...
And they go, yeah.
And they said, don't tell him?
It's great.
And I go, I will not play in this room unless I always get more.
Whoa.
And they go, okay.
Then me.
How much more?
It's got to be at least a hundred.
That's funny.
Because I just do it for the art.
It's so not true.
I don't go for the money.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But anyway.
You don't go to the improv.
Thank you, improv.
I'm glad you're a paid regular at the Comedy Store.
And let's all say congratulations to our love, our sweet juice, the jet ski
herself.
Congratulations on getting...
That's a big deal, man.
Do you want to tell her the bad news?
You're fired from the show.
Sorry, we did say we made a pact.
And we said as soon as you get past the story, you're fired from the show.
That was literally a pact.
And everybody knows.
And it's kind of a bummer that we didn't tell you earlier.
But we're telling you, right?
This is how you're telling me?
Yes.
Are you for real?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is how you know.
Are you hurt, though?
Well, I feel weird, this public firing.
I know.
So if we're being honest, make sure you don't wiggle in too much into the chair.
We'd like someone else's butt to be able to be fitting.
You guys are crazy.
I don't believe you.