Name: Pissed Bobby Lee Calls Ex-Girlfriend To Prove "It's Big!"
Uploaded: 2024-01-24T13:00:28.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Pissed Bobby Lee Calls Ex-Girlfriend To Prove "It's Big!"' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Pissed Bobby Lee Calls Ex-Girlfriend To Prove "It's Big!"' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-24. Transcript available.

what food won't you eat i don't eat a lot of foods i'm a picky eater yeah i can
tell i can
tell he's got that fucking picky white eater guy yeah yeah okay let me ask you
something yeah
would you eat um fried butterfly wings
that's a good question yeah yeah i wouldn't want to like i'd prefer not to like
if i was
are you a meat eater i don't eat red meat how about this so we white meat i i
eat like chicken
and turkey yeah how about this yeah so yeah i'm at a restaurant i'm a waiter i
put down a nice plate
of sauteed monkey farts yes you would eat it uh what region are they from right
papadou guinea oh my
god you're not gonna eat that i'll eat that pass it my way guinea has the best
fried monkey farts
yeah oh yeah the best delicious sauteed oh sauteed monkey farts not fried a
little bit of garlic yeah
yeah i would eat it because i feel bad that's going to waste like the monkey farts
just die oh you're a
preservation yeah yeah probably not a lot of food there can i guess what your
favorite meal is
it doesn't seem solid your favorite meal yeah i want to say pizza for some
reason you feel like you
like pizza mac and cheese mac and cheese i never liked mac and cheese i get i
get the vibe why you
never liked mac that's an insane that's a claim i don't think i've ever heard a
human say before
porridge oh no a little porridge you're a porridge boy are you a pot pie guy no
i don't like those
consistencies whoa oh so you give me consistency and i'll tell you what you eat
beans that's it okay
wait a minute do you just eat beans yeah i don't like beans you don't like
beans no no give me a
consistency you like and then we're gonna try to guess i mean it's not like all
i eat but like i guess
like you're a big chick-fil-a guy aren't you yeah see i got it did i get it i
got it it only took
me a few what did you see in my car i didn't look at you know where you parked
that was a natural guess
you do my chick-fil-a bit i have a bit about chick-fil-a oh really really let's
not hear it no
i don't want it i'm not i don't want to hear it the waffle fries they got you
well i like how many
chicken how many little nugs are we getting what pack 20. they're all good but
i'm usually if i'm
driving and i would get the sandwich because i'm driving the sammy drive if i'm
not driving the
strips oh but then the nuggets are probably the most delicious so i understand
you have a childlike
appetite but i've gotten better at it though like i can go to on dinner with a
lovely lady or a
business thing and i can pretend i don't want fish sticks will you push around
the salad though you're
not gonna eat the salad i don't love salad i know i can tell you i'm a
beautiful woman i meet you
online you broke up with your girl from atlanta yeah i'm a japanese what's your
name kiko
oh kiko tamya konichiwa no tiko tiko tiko tamya yeah tiko tamya you're half
japanese no i don't think
tiko is a name no it's my internet name okay i'm an influencer first of all
dude let's not disrespect
tiko tamya yeah yeah she's pretty well known all right i'll go minutes i i'm
sorry yeah i don't know
that i'm you're american i'm an american i respect i'm so sorry for assuming
that you should speak
the language anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway you have the
accent though even though you're
important she's an influencer dude i'm an influencer dude all right yeah and i
you know i hawk um seaweed
snacks yes on my um tick tock yes so anyway um where are we eating what
restaurant are you gonna take
me well then when you do that let me say something i love that noise yeah you
do that with the waffle
fries and the chicken sandwiches right is that the noise your penis made when
you kissed heidi klum
it may i did you get hard correctly no okay no so anyway back to me respect to
her though like what's
my name again uh tiko what's my last name go to my come i to go come i anyway
where are we eating
um i'm i'm not sure i'm like i will you make reservations it's like i take you
maybe like a nice
vegan thai food restaurant interesting i saw i saw i saw ed begley jr there
once
sorry okay
ed begley jr that's a good one that is good i love him i met him once he's
super sweet so vegan thai
joint maybe i mean i'm not vegan but like somewhere interesting conversation
but have you been there
before yeah i scope it out now have you eaten there before yeah is it good yeah
okay where's it at i'm
not looking to plug this i mean there's one in the studio city area okay you
should go do you think
that's a good date no this sounds like a bad date i don't like it you're not
okay what do we do afterwards
you know um i don't know like i've been in the relationship thing i'm just
trying to think of a
single life what do you do like maybe i don't know you go to a bar like down
the street this
what bar ventura has a lot of bars tico you're sober yeah i'm sober maybe i
just take a night
and like because i'm not in a hurry i'm an older guy now like i'm like i'm like
i have a dog to go
i want to smash then maybe i go listen let's i want to where are we to smash i
have a dog now so i
don't know i mean i've had i guess i go man i hope you i hope you stay in this
relationship yeah yeah no
no no can i tell you so wait wait so this is gonna be tough i don't even know
where to start
like where do you start like i i would say come to my place no you're talking
to me so don't go
yeah so so where are we gonna go say tico i've had a great with dinner after
dinner so dinner checks
paid we're staring at each other are you paying you're staring at me are you
paying yeah oh thank
you for paying yeah where are we going where are we gonna smash oh god tico
look how much he tipped
16 percent wow that's pretty you know when you when i saw that
a little juice yeah a little bit slightly oh yeah 16 she she likes it when i
love it when you're a bad
boy it's bad boy are you telling me that no no you hear it you have you have
hearing right poor hearing
what do you think that is when i hear you hear that i had a tumor as a child
and i can't hear in this
ear ever ever are you being serious yeah you can't hear out of your left ear
that one very poor hearing
in my left ear where was the tumor he laughs at the sad parts of it's just so
sad when i'm sad yeah
you have a tumor there now uh the tumor's been removed i have a titanium thing
that allows me to
hear oh so you can't hear i can't hear whispers if you whisper it sweet all
right so you don't hear
it what if i say it so i go and then i know you didn't hear it i go well i just
my vagina just made
a noise but can i ask a question on this no go ask i like to ask me ask me uh tico
tico ma'am
are you was it attractive to you that i tip so little or that it's a lot to you
which part was
hot to you well you know usually guys try to impress yeah and they'll pay like
you know i dated bobby lee
once that guy he tips like 30 yeah 30 and it's like too much it's like me look
at my big dick right
and he has one yeah that's why he does stuff like right excuse me i i don't
excuse me he does we're
talking about bobby lee yes the comedian big dick okay oh god i'm happy to hear
i heard yeah what'd
you hear what'd you hear i'm just gonna tell you what i heard i wrote it down
no no what'd you hear
really i'm telling what this is true yeah so uh we did a photo shoot me and betty
with jen rosenstein
today yeah photographer love jen roses uh-huh and she told me to say uh because
i told you i was
worried you're gonna be mean to me like you told me you would be yeah and she
says for me to tell you
be nice to taylor or his dog is gonna bite off your tiny pee pee hmm she's not
a comedy writer is
she i'm just i didn't you know she's married to right yeah my ex-girlfriend
yeah but i i that's a bad
shot oh no no no no no no no no don't don't i'm calling jet all right call her
up i'm gonna call
her call her up that's up no i want you to call her up are we done with the
role play though no
we're not done please no we're going are we done with the role play you're just
getting started
baby it's large i don't like stereotypes you know
hi bobby hey sarah how are you i'm good how are you so you know who taylor williamson
is
i do so we're having him on the pod right now me and andrew he's on the show
right now
on the show right now so are you buddy so are you so um your wife yes wrote a
letter
to me claiming that i have a small penis a tiny pp a tiny pp okay so what the
fuck is going on around here what she wrote she wrote a letter it was i i dict
she dictated it she
dictated to taylor and says that if well tell me exactly what he said i'm gonna
um she said for
me to tell bobby be nice to taylor or his dog is gonna bite off your tiny pp it's
gonna bite off my
tiny pp now it's very interesting um yeah are you telling your wife that i have
a tiny pp
no no we've never talked about your genitalia my love talk about it yeah yeah
so you've seen my
genitalia right yeah yeah you're good i'm good thank you yeah yeah yeah yeah
that's what that's
listen yeah listen listen you know i have and i have complete we are not we don't
function the same
that is her own autonomous opinion based on whatever is going on she told me
that story
when she got home that she told taylor to say that to you i was like did you
really and she's like yeah
i was like okay okay well you know she needs consequences no no no no yeah yeah
yeah yeah
she needs consequences or there's going to be a problem between you and i there
needs to be
consequences she needs to be reprimanded bobby where's janette she's not here
okay i need
consequences i'll talk to you soon all right love you i love you bye bye guy
puts the hammer down that's
great and i'm tico tico back by the way she goes back he goes back in the scene
tico please tell
bobby that bit my dog will also won't bite anyway anyway we're not talking
about bobby leaneman
what i want to say is we're going to your place and we're a smash sure okay
yeah tico this is the
first date by the way tico well you would know right have i have i met you
before this right right
right so then ding dong it would be our first fucking date right he must be
dating a lot of asian
girl yeah how many fucking he just looks so much like anyway anyway we're gonna
go to your house
and smash okay no condom i can't you can't wear condom i can't do no condom
please stop can we
get i want to break out a character real quick go ahead yeah yeah why not i if
that was a monogamous
thing i would be so you how many times have you won a condom every time no in
them in my relationship
i have never not oh i mean we were beginning i i i'm not i'm not gonna have uh
no condom sex with a
stranger good for you i listen to love line it's great it's great it's great i
didn't have carlos
learn have you had sex without a condom with a stranger yeah every time yeah i
mean i mean i've
gotten i've gotten i've gotten i've gotten stds for with my skin let's go to
commercial break
oh my god yeah yeah like i've had stuff on my what do you mean skin my skin my
body you so you've had
stds my trunk so you've had sex with a girl and then you had stds on your skin
yeah oh it's on your
chest yeah there's like skin skin stuff that you can get from towels and stuff
it's not that exciting
yeah what are you into sports at all um as a fan yeah like are you a fan of
sport do you watch sports
my thing is i always like pro wrestling that was nice yeah yeah so not real
yeah okay well no it's
like a play like you like the theater theater yeah yeah like who's your
favorite pro wrestler
i mean there he goes that i mean i i can't these are great questions i wasn't
prepared for and they
change over the years you don't meet your heroes you meet them and you're like
well he's off the list you
know like yeah when i was like i don't know like uh gerald briscoe become
friends with gerald briscoe
who's an amazing he's like wb hall of fame where he's nice yeah great do you
still go to the events
so um i go less now but like i've been spoiled you know we get invited to
things i've been to so many
like yeah big ones yeah i went to wrestlemania this year in la oh really oh you
did i was supposed
to start working for fox sports they were gonna i was gonna be like like a
daily show correspondent for
fox do you go you have a little he-man in your pocket right he's got like a yoda
pez dispenser
i'm just ready i don't he's just ready to go i don't understand do you like
boxing i'm not a fan
of like these uh i know it's not good for my comedy career but yeah like i'm
not a big mma fan no we're
not we're not big guys you never said that either you guys don't like front row
i know people
we've been to the fight yeah we've been to the fight but it's not like we're
not big i'm not if you
couldn't ask me i didn't know i don't know the ins and outs i think you could
take edson barbossa
thank you in a fight i you know that's the third time i've heard that today
okay
i want to um i'm going to show you there's a new boxing league that i'm really
into i want to show
you guys and i'm going to get your opinion because i'm a huge fan this is like
one of their premier
fights that they just had and you tell me who you think won okay no no okay
yeah yeah a couple of
points that's pretty good what do you mean whoa so for people that love the
show yeah they've been
asking us for years what's doc up to dude how crazy is that that's a great
double punch double
but whoop yeah whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa yeah
the black guy hasn't landed a punch
it's so unfair because the other guy's got like a full full upper body yeah
oh well there it is oh there we go a little tip tap a little tip tap yeah
is that a pacifier in his mouth yeah yeah he's just a weirdo baby fighting no
dude it's a mouth
guard pacifier you lunatic all right he's knocked that guy down no less than 12
times in this clip
god it's god it's incredible yeah it looks like whoa whoa it's like a very see
he gets up the same
way i do because of my bad back like i can't he can't really bend
god he's fine man killing that guy but look
he won it's so funny he won wow yeah no we're laughing at the brutalization but
the other guy
laughed after he saw you yeah yeah yeah somehow some piece of me thinks it was
a plant but man the way
he go to the very first second the way he charges him look at how hard he
charges at this guy he could
really hurt him yeah i mean whoa that's insane that's a little much it's a lot
anyway i'm into
this now yeah but it looks like the the guy in the blue though is um a little
person from just from
the waist down almost yeah he has like a torso in there well when he was
getting born he halfway came
out and then his mom sneezed and then i see i see how that works
sorry yeah that is funny it's funny it's funny 30 seconds later when you
visualize

Pissed Bobby Lee Calls Ex-Girlfriend To Prove "It's Big!"

what food won't you eat i don't eat a lot of foods i'm a picky eater yeah i can
tell i can
tell he's got that fucking picky white eater guy yeah yeah okay let me ask you
something yeah
would you eat um fried butterfly wings
that's a good question yeah yeah i wouldn't want to like i'd prefer not to like
if i was
are you a meat eater i don't eat red meat how about this so we white meat i i
eat like chicken
and turkey yeah how about this yeah so yeah i'm at a restaurant i'm a waiter i
put down a nice plate
of sauteed monkey farts yes you would eat it uh what region are they from right
papadou guinea oh my
god you're not gonna eat that i'll eat that pass it my way guinea has the best
fried monkey farts
yeah oh yeah the best delicious sauteed oh sauteed monkey farts not fried a
little bit of garlic yeah
yeah i would eat it because i feel bad that's going to waste like the monkey farts
just die oh you're a
preservation yeah yeah probably not a lot of food there can i guess what your
favorite meal is
it doesn't seem solid your favorite meal yeah i want to say pizza for some
reason you feel like you
like pizza mac and cheese mac and cheese i never liked mac and cheese i get i
get the vibe why you
never liked mac that's an insane that's a claim i don't think i've ever heard a
human say before
porridge oh no a little porridge you're a porridge boy are you a pot pie guy no
i don't like those
consistencies whoa oh so you give me consistency and i'll tell you what you eat
beans that's it okay
wait a minute do you just eat beans yeah i don't like beans you don't like
beans no no give me a
consistency you like and then we're gonna try to guess i mean it's not like all
i eat but like i guess
like you're a big chick-fil-a guy aren't you yeah see i got it did i get it i
got it it only took
me a few what did you see in my car i didn't look at you know where you parked
that was a natural guess
you do my chick-fil-a bit i have a bit about chick-fil-a oh really really let's
not hear it no
i don't want it i'm not i don't want to hear it the waffle fries they got you
well i like how many
chicken how many little nugs are we getting what pack 20. they're all good but
i'm usually if i'm
driving and i would get the sandwich because i'm driving the sammy drive if i'm
not driving the
strips oh but then the nuggets are probably the most delicious so i understand
you have a childlike
appetite but i've gotten better at it though like i can go to on dinner with a
lovely lady or a
business thing and i can pretend i don't want fish sticks will you push around
the salad though you're
not gonna eat the salad i don't love salad i know i can tell you i'm a
beautiful woman i meet you
online you broke up with your girl from atlanta yeah i'm a japanese what's your
name kiko
oh kiko tamya konichiwa no tiko tiko tiko tamya yeah tiko tamya you're half
japanese no i don't think
tiko is a name no it's my internet name okay i'm an influencer first of all
dude let's not disrespect
tiko tamya yeah yeah she's pretty well known all right i'll go minutes i i'm
sorry yeah i don't know
that i'm you're american i'm an american i respect i'm so sorry for assuming
that you should speak
the language anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway anyway you have the
accent though even though you're
important she's an influencer dude i'm an influencer dude all right yeah and i
you know i hawk um seaweed
snacks yes on my um tick tock yes so anyway um where are we eating what
restaurant are you gonna take
me well then when you do that let me say something i love that noise yeah you
do that with the waffle
fries and the chicken sandwiches right is that the noise your penis made when
you kissed heidi klum
it may i did you get hard correctly no okay no so anyway back to me respect to
her though like what's
my name again uh tiko what's my last name go to my come i to go come i anyway
where are we eating
um i'm i'm not sure i'm like i will you make reservations it's like i take you
maybe like a nice
vegan thai food restaurant interesting i saw i saw i saw ed begley jr there
once
sorry okay
ed begley jr that's a good one that is good i love him i met him once he's
super sweet so vegan thai
joint maybe i mean i'm not vegan but like somewhere interesting conversation
but have you been there
before yeah i scope it out now have you eaten there before yeah is it good yeah
okay where's it at i'm
not looking to plug this i mean there's one in the studio city area okay you
should go do you think
that's a good date no this sounds like a bad date i don't like it you're not
okay what do we do afterwards
you know um i don't know like i've been in the relationship thing i'm just
trying to think of a
single life what do you do like maybe i don't know you go to a bar like down
the street this
what bar ventura has a lot of bars tico you're sober yeah i'm sober maybe i
just take a night
and like because i'm not in a hurry i'm an older guy now like i'm like i'm like
i have a dog to go
i want to smash then maybe i go listen let's i want to where are we to smash i
have a dog now so i
don't know i mean i've had i guess i go man i hope you i hope you stay in this
relationship yeah yeah no
no no can i tell you so wait wait so this is gonna be tough i don't even know
where to start
like where do you start like i i would say come to my place no you're talking
to me so don't go
yeah so so where are we gonna go say tico i've had a great with dinner after
dinner so dinner checks
paid we're staring at each other are you paying you're staring at me are you
paying yeah oh thank
you for paying yeah where are we going where are we gonna smash oh god tico
look how much he tipped
16 percent wow that's pretty you know when you when i saw that
a little juice yeah a little bit slightly oh yeah 16 she she likes it when i
love it when you're a bad
boy it's bad boy are you telling me that no no you hear it you have you have
hearing right poor hearing
what do you think that is when i hear you hear that i had a tumor as a child
and i can't hear in this
ear ever ever are you being serious yeah you can't hear out of your left ear
that one very poor hearing
in my left ear where was the tumor he laughs at the sad parts of it's just so
sad when i'm sad yeah
you have a tumor there now uh the tumor's been removed i have a titanium thing
that allows me to
hear oh so you can't hear i can't hear whispers if you whisper it sweet all
right so you don't hear
it what if i say it so i go and then i know you didn't hear it i go well i just
my vagina just made
a noise but can i ask a question on this no go ask i like to ask me ask me uh tico
tico ma'am
are you was it attractive to you that i tip so little or that it's a lot to you
which part was
hot to you well you know usually guys try to impress yeah and they'll pay like
you know i dated bobby lee
once that guy he tips like 30 yeah 30 and it's like too much it's like me look
at my big dick right
and he has one yeah that's why he does stuff like right excuse me i i don't
excuse me he does we're
talking about bobby lee yes the comedian big dick okay oh god i'm happy to hear
i heard yeah what'd
you hear what'd you hear i'm just gonna tell you what i heard i wrote it down
no no what'd you hear
really i'm telling what this is true yeah so uh we did a photo shoot me and betty
with jen rosenstein
today yeah photographer love jen roses uh-huh and she told me to say uh because
i told you i was
worried you're gonna be mean to me like you told me you would be yeah and she
says for me to tell you
be nice to taylor or his dog is gonna bite off your tiny pee pee hmm she's not
a comedy writer is
she i'm just i didn't you know she's married to right yeah my ex-girlfriend
yeah but i i that's a bad
shot oh no no no no no no no no don't don't i'm calling jet all right call her
up i'm gonna call
her call her up that's up no i want you to call her up are we done with the
role play though no
we're not done please no we're going are we done with the role play you're just
getting started
baby it's large i don't like stereotypes you know
hi bobby hey sarah how are you i'm good how are you so you know who taylor williamson
is
i do so we're having him on the pod right now me and andrew he's on the show
right now
on the show right now so are you buddy so are you so um your wife yes wrote a
letter
to me claiming that i have a small penis a tiny pp a tiny pp okay so what the
fuck is going on around here what she wrote she wrote a letter it was i i dict
she dictated it she
dictated to taylor and says that if well tell me exactly what he said i'm gonna
um she said for
me to tell bobby be nice to taylor or his dog is gonna bite off your tiny pp it's
gonna bite off my
tiny pp now it's very interesting um yeah are you telling your wife that i have
a tiny pp
no no we've never talked about your genitalia my love talk about it yeah yeah
so you've seen my
genitalia right yeah yeah you're good i'm good thank you yeah yeah yeah yeah
that's what that's
listen yeah listen listen you know i have and i have complete we are not we don't
function the same
that is her own autonomous opinion based on whatever is going on she told me
that story
when she got home that she told taylor to say that to you i was like did you
really and she's like yeah
i was like okay okay well you know she needs consequences no no no no yeah yeah
yeah yeah
she needs consequences or there's going to be a problem between you and i there
needs to be
consequences she needs to be reprimanded bobby where's janette she's not here
okay i need
consequences i'll talk to you soon all right love you i love you bye bye guy
puts the hammer down that's
great and i'm tico tico back by the way she goes back he goes back in the scene
tico please tell
bobby that bit my dog will also won't bite anyway anyway we're not talking
about bobby leaneman
what i want to say is we're going to your place and we're a smash sure okay
yeah tico this is the
first date by the way tico well you would know right have i have i met you
before this right right
right so then ding dong it would be our first fucking date right he must be
dating a lot of asian
girl yeah how many fucking he just looks so much like anyway anyway we're gonna
go to your house
and smash okay no condom i can't you can't wear condom i can't do no condom
please stop can we
get i want to break out a character real quick go ahead yeah yeah why not i if
that was a monogamous
thing i would be so you how many times have you won a condom every time no in
them in my relationship
i have never not oh i mean we were beginning i i i'm not i'm not gonna have uh
no condom sex with a
stranger good for you i listen to love line it's great it's great it's great i
didn't have carlos
learn have you had sex without a condom with a stranger yeah every time yeah i
mean i mean i've
gotten i've gotten i've gotten i've gotten stds for with my skin let's go to
commercial break
oh my god yeah yeah like i've had stuff on my what do you mean skin my skin my
body you so you've had
stds my trunk so you've had sex with a girl and then you had stds on your skin
yeah oh it's on your
chest yeah there's like skin skin stuff that you can get from towels and stuff
it's not that exciting
yeah what are you into sports at all um as a fan yeah like are you a fan of
sport do you watch sports
my thing is i always like pro wrestling that was nice yeah yeah so not real
yeah okay well no it's
like a play like you like the theater theater yeah yeah like who's your
favorite pro wrestler
i mean there he goes that i mean i i can't these are great questions i wasn't
prepared for and they
change over the years you don't meet your heroes you meet them and you're like
well he's off the list you
know like yeah when i was like i don't know like uh gerald briscoe become
friends with gerald briscoe
who's an amazing he's like wb hall of fame where he's nice yeah great do you
still go to the events
so um i go less now but like i've been spoiled you