Name: Bobby's Bad Luck! -$500,000 in 1 Night!!
Uploaded: 2024-02-16T13:00:36.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby's Bad Luck! -$500,000 in 1 Night!!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-02-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby's Bad Luck! -$500,000 in 1 Night!!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-02-16. Transcript available.

Red hair is a forever red hair.
It's forever red hair, yeah.
Yeah, what am I going to do with it?
You know?
I'm trying my best.
Yeah, that's your...
Am I ugly?
No.
Is he handsome?
No.
Mom, talk.
Is he handsome?
You know...
Is he handsome?
He shave his...
Is he handsome?
You're talking, mom.
Be nice.
Is he handsome?
Why are you, like, muscling her?
Because you don't talk about the thing.
Be nice.
All right.
If I shave my beard, would I be handsome?
Yeah, yeah.
I'll get rid of it.
Because I don't like...
You don't like beards?
No.
All right.
Well, because it's too strong.
What about his facial hair?
Do you like his facial hair?
His face on his...
The mustache?
Yeah.
It looks nice?
This one is okay.
That one's okay.
And I like his long hair, too.
He has beautiful long hair.
No, like when he was high school,
his hair is this long.
I know.
They used to pull on it.
And I say, you know,
can you cut your hair?
No.
My ancestor has a...
Man has a long hair.
Who said that?
I said that?
You said that.
I know.
Because, yeah, they have hair and bonded
and they have, you know, yeah.
Yeah, I told them...
Because in high school,
I had long hair down to my ass.
Yeah, 4,000 years, you know.
Yeah.
And I said,
our ancestors had long hair.
I said,
I cannot say nothing because...
He said nothing.
That's true.
He said nothing.
Your ancestors did have long hair.
Yeah.
And no trees.
He had beautiful long hair.
Beautiful.
He still has beautiful long hair.
So 200, huh?
200 episodes.
Those are 200 episodes.
Wow.
Wow.
Yeah.
It's a miracle.
It's a miracle, huh?
Straight from heaven.
I mean, it is impressive.
200.
I know.
That's a lot.
I know.
And I'm glad you came out for this.
This is big.
Well, it's Carlos.
Carlos.
You know Carlos is right there.
We exchanged texts for three days.
Yeah, yeah.
Three days?
Yeah.
Whoa.
Because he sent me an airplane ticket.
Yeah.
He didn't say what airline.
Oh, he didn't say what airline.
Carlos, Carlos, you bought her a ticket.
American airline or Southwest.
You know, he says Southwest.
Right.
But their color is American airline.
Right.
Yeah.
Idiot.
And he didn't know where I can meet him.
Right.
He doesn't know much.
Yeah.
So I say, I'm at the baggage claim.
Yeah.
He said, I'm there too.
And he said, what number?
I said, two.
And he came right back.
He came right back.
But he's a good guy.
He's trying.
Oh, yeah.
He's trying.
He holds me and, you know.
Wait, wait, wait.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Back it up.
What'd he say?
Hold.
He holds you?
How does he hold you?
Nicely.
Nicely.
Yeah.
Very gentleman-like.
Gentleman-like.
Not holding like.
Oh, yeah.
Where's his hands at?
Huh?
Where did he put your hands?
On your butt?
Oh, no.
No.
Right here.
Right here?
Back.
Yeah.
Okay.
Watch your hands, bud.
Watch your hands, dude.
Watch out.
Watch out.
No butt, you know.
No butt.
No butt.
No butt.
Because he gets handsy with women.
He grabs butts.
And I'm going to hit him.
Yeah, you hit him.
I'd love to see that.
Yeah.
I'd love to see you hit him.
We've had a good time.
This has been the most confusing episode.
It's a little confusing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I do want to say I wish Rudy could be here.
Me too.
Yeah, that would have been great.
She was taking her final.
For people that want to know, she's in the middle of her finals to complete her
second year in college.
God, that's fucking nuts.
And that's the time.
You know what she was in high school, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Isn't that crazy?
It's crazy.
And she's, she's grown up to be a good girl.
Yeah.
Yeah, she is the best.
She really is.
Grown up to be a really, and I'm so, you know, I have to say, I think I had a
lot to do with it.
I think you had some to do with it for sure.
A lot.
Some, a lot.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Some of the principles, values, ethics.
Yeah, ethics for sure.
A moral foundation.
Moral fiber that you have.
Exactly.
And you need more fiber, by the way.
We were talking about that earlier.
Well, my mom saying that I was fat really fucking threw me into a.
You're not fat.
I think she goes, if I lost this, I would look like BTS.
And that's not true.
We know that.
Because your weight isn't going to change your face.
And that's nuts.
I mean, it'll change the way your face is structured, but you're not going to
turn into Matt Reif.
How funny.
If you did.
Imagine if you lost 20 pounds and you became Asian Matt Reif.
Oh, what would I do?
Somebody please make that image.
Asian Matt Reif.
Please, Asian Matt Reif.
Asian Matt Reif.
Matt Reif.
Matt Reif.
Matt Reif.
That's funny.
Matt Reif.
Sushi Matt Reif.
Sushi Matt Reif.
By Andrew Dice Collector.
No.
I've never told you that?
I don't think so.
I was working the back door at the comedy store on my comedy store t-shirt.
I didn't know him.
And he walks in and he goes, hey, Ching.
I go, yeah.
Who's your name, Ching?
He just called me Ching.
Oh.
Hey, Ching.
That's a good guess.
I know, but he would go, I go, that's racist.
He would go, no, chit-ching.
It's money.
Oh, yeah.
That's really good.
So that was good.
I didn't know him.
I was working the back door.
And I go, this is 1997-6.
He goes, let's go.
I'm working the back door.
I go, where are we going?
He goes, Vegas.
I go, I can't.
He goes, I already talked to them.
You're going.
What?
Whoa.
So I go from literally working the back door.
What?
Yeah.
Into his car and we're driving to LAX.
Here's another interesting note.
When we were at the gate, I remember I was so scared.
I didn't know him.
He lit up a cigarette.
In the airport.
At the gate.
Holy shit.
And I go, excuse me, Mr. Clay, you can't smoke.
He was like, I can and I will.
And then they were coming.
He goes, watch this.
He put it on the ground.
He stomped on it and he pointed at it and they're like, okay.
Sounds like a nice guy.
Yeah, he's great.
That sounds really nice.
That's where you learned some techniques.
Uh-oh.
Looking for a fight mid-show.
Looking for a fight mid-show.
He's looking for a fight mid-show.
He literally pointed fingers.
Can you slow it down and look at me?
I'm not mad.
Go ahead.
Tell me what you were saying.
So that's where you learned some techniques from.
Learn what?
About the cigarettes and how to.
Look, honestly, dude.
Yeah.
I didn't know that you're not allowed to smoke here.
I know.
Right?
You know that at a gate, at an airport, a real cigarette.
Also, this isn't a cigarette.
When people complain about vape vipers.
Vape vipers.
Vape vipers, I mean.
Vapers?
Vapers.
It's not the same.
That was our little gay gang.
I smoked this on the plane.
No one gives a fuck.
Yeah.
It's not like a cigarette.
You know, that's okay.
So anyway.
I wanted to transition real fast.
You have penny loafers on?
I didn't even notice you have cute little penny loafers on.
Yeah.
Do you not put pennies in the loafers?
What are those?
You're wearing penny loafers.
You see those little slots at the tongue?
Those are, that's for putting a penny in for good luck.
And if you come in, you know, if you, if you come on a hard time, at least you
have
a couple of scents in your shoes.
Like children wear those shoes.
They do, actually.
We used to wear those to church when we were kids.
And they hurt so much on your feet, don't they?
Is that why you're wearing four socks?
Yes.
I didn't learn that from Dice.
I'm a good guy.
So how was Vegas with Dice?
I want to know.
It gets crazier.
What happened?
So he goes, I go, where am I staying?
In my room.
No.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I have no, no bag, no toothbrush, nothing.
No clothes.
Holy shit.
I'm in Vegas for now days.
Right?
And he goes, you're my good look charm.
So we go to the Mirage.
Cha-ching.
And he starts losing.
I have no money, by the way.
He lost a hundred grand in 30 minutes.
What was he playing?
Blackjack.
He would do $20,000 bets.
That seems foolish.
I know.
Yeah.
But he had his good luck charm.
I know.
So check this out.
For the next 24 hours, he lost a half a million.
Oh my God.
Okay.
Then he goes, get back in the car.
Tells me to go back in the car.
I haven't eaten, slept, anything.
We fly back.
He doesn't talk to me for two more years.
Yeah, that makes sense.
You know why?
You were his good luck charm.
He's bad luck, he told everyone.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
First of all, hey dude.
I got to side with him.
I didn't even want to be there.
I know, but you should have rubbed some of that Chinese luck off of him or
something.
I don't know.
He doesn't know I'm Korean.
I know.
That's why you had to play.
Just play it up.
I know, but you can't play it.
I can't manifest Chinese luck when you're Korean.
I guess that's true.
Yeah, yeah.
But you are the golden pig we learned yesterday.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, no, I'm a water pig.
I'm the year of the water pig.
He's the year of the golden pig.
But then later, he changed it to dice, changed it to, we only lost, I only lost
a hundred
grand.
That was not true.
He lost so much that he had to do shows for Mirage for free, a couple of shows,
I remember.
He made a deal with them.
But my point is, is that, and then like no one talked to me for like two years
because
he was like, oh no, that guy's bad luck.
I go, what the fuck?
I didn't do anything.
That was crazy.