Name: SNL vs. Mad TV
Uploaded: 2024-02-22T13:00:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'SNL vs. Mad TV' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-02-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'SNL vs. Mad TV' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-02-22. Transcript available.

Do you like girls that have tattoos with sayings on them?
You don't have tattoos, do you, Dave?
I do have two, but they're just stupid.
What are they?
You started it.
I didn't know.
Yeah, that's true.
What is it?
What is it?
Well, this one I got on Saturday Night Live is a joke.
You could even pull that up.
Sean Penn gave me a tattoo.
There you go.
It was just a joke.
And then he gave me another one about five years ago
because I wanted to-
Life's a garden, dig it.
No, that's not it.
I know.
Other people.
That's very funny.
So you have a Calvin and Hobbes?
Yeah, because he couldn't do the one we picked.
And so we just had to pick one out of the cartoon.
I hate it when people go,
Matt, you know, you're on Mad TV.
It's like SNL.
I go-
Who says that?
No one's ever said that.
No, people have said that.
Mexicans have said that.
No, but-
I go-
Well, that is, that is, that's SNL 4.
I know, but our biggest star was like,
Nicole Richie.
She was on Mad TV.
And we would get people like before there was like,
one time we got Ryan Reynolds,
but we didn't know who he was.
Think how crazy that is.
In Living Color had bigger stars.
I know.
We would get-
But then we would get like Marilyn Manson Green Day played.
We had the Strokes play.
That's cool.
So we had cool band, younger bands,
but it's like,
I would look at their show and go,
I mean, it was a completely different program.
It was a completely different level.
But everyone knows Mad TV.
So that's kind of good.
It was very well known.
I've heard of Italy.
I don't know if it was like churning out superstars,
but Artie Lang was on.
Were you on the movie?
I like Artie Lang.
I did a movie.
Why, what's wrong with that?
I don't know.
I mean, the class of guys I was in on,
I mean, they've gone on to-
From Mad TV, you?
That's good.
It is.
Key and Peele.
Oh, Key and Peele is great.
Yeah, but they weren't on as long as you were, right?
But they were on for five years.
You did seven?
I did eight.
It's real.
Who's who?
Who cares?
Matt Bronger.
There's Matt Bronger.
There's Maddie B.
Yeah, yeah.
We had-
Arden Mirren.
Who's in the middle?
Who's that girl in the middle?
Rick Rockwell on the right?
Nicole Parker.
That's Nicole Ari Parker?
Bobby, are you 11?
Is that you?
Yeah, I'm in the bottom.
That was my eighth year.
That was the last year.
That was your eighth year?
That was the last year.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Who's the person at the top?
Eric Price.
Like Keegan did it still one last year.
Johnny Sanchez.
I know.
I see Johnny.
You look so funny.
He's so young there.
So young.
Let's move on.
That is a good class.
Bring up Spade's class.
Where's my class?
Look at your fucking-
Do you ever play Asian characters on there?
Look at this cat.
Look at Spade.
You were on with nobodies.
David Spade was on SNL with fucking literal nobodies.
Who are any of these people?
I recognize none of these fucking humans.
Dude, holy shit.
I mean-
This is honestly-
Al Franken.
This is like when the-
Chris Farley.
Oh my God.
This is like when the fucking-
When we were doing the men's basketball Olympic team.
This was the dream team.
And then they'd have to play like fucking Sweden or some shit.
The women's side.
Yeah.
The Sweden women's team.
That was a good year.
This is dream team shit.
Where's Mike Myers up?
Mike's probably taking the picture, right?
He was there.
You guys always-
Mike, can you take this?
He's like, well, I wanted to-
That isn't-
I mean, dude, what a fucking-
You were in the gut of some of the-
You did it, dude.
It's unbelievable.
It's incredible.
Today is actually a sad anniversary of Chris.
Today?
Mm-hmm.
Wait, is it really today?
Mm-hmm.
Get the fuck out of here.
Someone on Twitter told me.
I think-
No way.
I knew it was close to Christmas.
You know why I thought-
You know what's so weird about this?
This is one of those things, December 18th.
Holy fucking shit.
Is that today?
Oh my God, that is today.
There's in 2020.
You were on set when-
And you were fucking late today.
The disrespect is-
On Farley's-
I slept in for him.
Oh, yeah.
That makes-
This actually makes a lot of sense.
That's nice.
Yeah.
You know why?
When I was-
This morning when I got up and I was getting coffee
and I was scrolling,
I did see someone posted a new photo
of Chris with a crown hat on
with a cigarette in his mouth.
Have you seen that go around?
Man, it's such a fucking cool photo
and it made me go,
I just thought it was just like,
you know, someone posting that photo.
Look at this fucking photo.
Look at how awesome that photo is.
He took it.
He was actually a good looking dude.
He took some cool fucking pictures.
I mean, that is fucking powerful shit.
I don't know.
He just had-
You know.
I don't know.
How are you?
When you found out,
you told me you were on set, right?
I remember that you told me that.
You were on the sitcom.
What's that?
I opened up to you one day.
Yeah, you did.
I was on Just Shoot Me.
Just Shoot Me, yeah.
A couple of people remember.
Thank you.
A couple in the back.
You want to just shoot me and-
What's that, your vape pen?
Yeah, he's a vape kid.
A drug dealer runs it in.
He's like this.
You did see the Minnesota junkie there.
He's our little house slut.
Oh, yeah.
You don't have to tell me which one's which.
I saw that dude dragging the cinder block.
But I do have to say-
I want to say another good thing about you
and I just want to say,
because I just now I'm fully woke.
I woke.
Oh, thank God.
I wake, I just woke up.
God bless.
Thank you.
And I'm fully here.
So I want to say this.
Okay, here we go.
48 minutes in.
Yeah, the show's over.
Yeah, yeah, I know.
I just want to say this.
Honestly, David,
and this is I'm being completely,
look at me.
I'm so ashamed that I woke up late.
I fucking forgot.
I'm so sorry.
And it'll never happen again.
No, no, no, no.
I owe you favors forever for the rest of your life.
No, number two.
But I do have to say,
even before I even knew you,
you were just one of the nicest guys,
dude, in the scene.
Because it's like,
I remember you would like randomly take photos with me and stuff.
And I didn't know you that well,
you know,
but you were always like available and really cool.
And these compliments are sort of mid-level.
Like you always had nice shoes.
No, no, no.
You also, you're very,
oh, I kind of did it.
You're also stylish.
Okay.
Now we're getting started.
I remember one time I was wearing a Montclair jacket.
And you put your finger around,
you go,
someone's doing well.
With your finger around the Montclair logo.
Right?
I see, that's the thing.
I was hitting on you.
I remember little moments with us, Dan.
And that's, that's it.
That goes a long way.
I like these guys pull up Montclair.
Nothing to do.
And I, and I, and I, I just feel, um.
Pulled up the word moments.
Well, I like the.
Yeah.
Montclair is no fucking bullshit, by the way.
No bullshit.
Bobby, is it true?
And I have a question for you.
Okay, go ahead.
Montclair.
It's called turning the tables.
I do an interview show myself.
Is this getting lower?
Like my dick.
This is, as it goes, it just.
You know, I took it to variety class.
You don't have to come out here.
Fix it.
Go fix it, Matt.
Oh, my.
Kill again.
Oh, no.
All right.
Um, just.
Come on, Jim Varney.
Fix it.
If you can.
My God.
Dude, you're fired, dude.
That was so dumb.
What you just did.
That was ridiculous.
What the fuck?
He's going to break that the TV's broke.
I mean, I got it, guy.
He's like.
Yeah, yeah.
Sorry, David Spade.
Sorry, David Spade.
That a boy.
He's like, I saw a dusty sleigh video.
Anyway, so I.
What was I even telling you?
You were about to give him a compliment.
He wanted to give you a compliment.
No, no.
It wasn't that.
I was just telling another story.
What did I just say?
I just started something.
No one fucking remembers.
It was literally 18 seconds ago.
You did?
Because he kept complimenting you.
Mm-hmm.
I go this and that and then.
And you said, I'm going to compliment you.
No.
No.
I want to turn the tables on you because I.
I do also.
Oh, yeah.
Thank you.
I do an interview.
This fucking guy.
He finally pipes up.
Update that visa.
Give him another six months.
Oh, he knocked up a chick here and I locked.
Oh, he did?
Smart.
Yeah.
Okay.
Are you going to remember?
Are you fucking high?
I got to put up a haze.
I can't handle it, man.
It's just a nigga deal.
I can't handle it.
I'm a millionaire.
I can't handle it.
Everything's gone right in my life.
I can deal with it.
All right.
Jesus Christ.
Anyway, so is it true you don't know how much money you have?
Because I thought this is very interesting.
I don't.
Because I have an accountant and I go in once a month and I go over it.
And I thought, Bobby, I could probably guess not how much money you have, but
you do very well.
But I think that would make me more anxious to not know.
Because obviously you can afford whatever you want.
You're not going crazy.
It makes me more anxious to know.
I know how much he has because I have better communication with his accountant.
Do you really?
Do you guys have the same guy?
No, because I went in.
I went in because my therapist goes, you got to go in because you want to know
what's, you know,
you got to be responsible and know what's going on in your life.
So he's not stealing from you.
Yeah, so I went in there and when he told me what I had, I got really upset.
Right?
Because I thought I had more than that.
That's the problem.
When I go in, it's always less than you.
Yeah, so I'm like, I'm never going to know again.
I don't ever want to know.
I want to think that I'm rich.
His business manager also is no less than 94 years old and lives at the beach.
He's like, there's a visor.
- Yeah.