Name: Bobby Lee's WEIRDEST Fan Gift!
Uploaded: 2024-03-03T12:00:47.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee's WEIRDEST Fan Gift!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee's WEIRDEST Fan Gift!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-03. Transcript available.

what were you gonna ask me what oh no i was gonna tell you that my mom has like
the biggest crush on
you also why is there a dick pic on your house what what's up of what i was
like dicks there's
like a big dick and like small small dicks like around it polaroids what are
you doing you have
dick pics at your house on the wall i literally know whose dicks are they i
literally know whose
dicks you have on your wall they have no whose dicks are on your wall at your
house first of all
i'll leave here right now and get your house back up right now no because you
don't do this i don't
like being challenged you disrespected me first of all and called this fucking
uh by uh belly tiger
bullshit whatever the fuck that i'm gonna go to your house if there's other dicks
on that wall that
aren't mine we're in a fucking fight it's your dick dude no it's not i know is
it orange it's kind of
yeah it was your dick oh all right then we're cool anyway can i explain the
dick pic or no please
we're all waiting so you know the wednesday meeting i go to yeah right so i go
to this wednesday that's
what you guys do at aa that's not what we do so there's this guy named i can't
say his name
because of course not but but anyway there's this guy who's a newcomer and one
day he goes
hey let's do a christmas like elephant whatever christmas elephant thing right
a white elephant
yeah whatever wherever you you draw a name out of the fucking thing yeah so i
get him for some
reason right and i brought i forgot about it so i brought cash so i gave i gave
a friend of my
i brought a hundred dollars and then this other guy gives me a beanie inside
the beanie was that
fucking polaroid of a dick pic of his dick i don't know whose dick it is but
when i opened it up and
i did it i go oh fuck i don't know i said just put it on the ledge you kept it
but why is there like
one big dick and then like small dicks around it wait wait in one photo you
really are in hollywood
in one photo yeah did i take it i don't know dude this is what cat williams was
talking about
you're in hollywood dude you're getting dick weird dick pic polaroid proposals
you are fucking
hollywood no who's more hollywood now bad friends fans the guy that has dick
pics on his wall no no
so that's wow dude you know i'm not ashamed you're evil you're in this i'm not
evil i'm not ashamed
who did you have who did you have to suck to get that fox deal oh we want to
give you a show
no no no so anyway why did you put it on your wall why didn't you throw it on a
wall oh my god you
guys are fucking where is it yeah if i was ashamed of it why would i put it
with a drawer i put it right
throw it away it's funny people walk up to see the gigantic dick pic it's funny
okay i don't know
would you have dick pics in your house guys just laying around carlos thank you
carlos that's why
you're in the program too right but i mean you know if you're gonna first of
all do you want to
clean my house again again you're telling everybody the inside secrets of my
house i'm just telling like
weird stuff in your house yeah you have a dick on display thank you i'm not
ashamed of it and i'm also
this right it's so contradictory to what you just said you're mad about it but
then she's like no
it's displayed you're like right i'm not embarrassed i'm not embarrassed i'm
manning up but my point is
is this okay is just that next time you see some stuff like that but i can't
keep a secret that's
right see something say something thank you rudy okay you got to teach them
right they're doing good
yeah and then why is it when you clean my house if you want to just if you want
to talk about things
then let's talk about things right here on the show talk about whatever you
want on the show
why is it why is it when you clean my house and stuff like that um i see your
phone it's on
uh oh right and you're in a different room okay you're in a different room
cleaning
but who's on the phone oh my boyfriend yeah yeah and he's just laying there
like this
ew what yeah so she's cleaning another room like you're facetiming and he just
lays there
but he's not even she's not in she's downstairs
because we just like she's downstairs right and i'm i'm getting a drink you
know in the kitchen
and i look i see her phone and i see this gigantic nose oh my god oh my god
what he doesn't have a
big nose no he doesn't have a big nose does he have a big nose no see it's not
wide no okay it's
normal from where you're from but from here dude yeah it's snuffleupagus
your nose is not even normal so don't make fun oh go ahead call me out what's
up with my nose
now what is up with your nose tell me about my nose why is it not normal let me
see lift up
yeah that's yeah well i don't know good yeah it's pretty really good pretty
normal yeah yeah
anyway why do you have this kid he's your slave what do you mean it's creepy
that he watches in the
house but i'm not even in the room but you have to stay on you know i mean on
the phone face on
facetime we just like to stay on call it's normal for us the fact is he likes
it yeah yeah it's love
maybe no that's not love that's weird he just lays there while she cleans yeah
yeah that sounds like
some weird fetish no because he's watching something and we're just doing
different things
but staying on call your does your boyfriend stay on facetime with you when you're
doing
something really that's maybe it's just what young people do it's what they do
is these whip no
face time my wife you out of your mind i live with her yeah facetime no you don't
do that you
don't do i mean we facetime if i'm like across the country on the road but your
boyfriend lives
in the same city you call it's different they young people do facetime okay
they love facetime anyway how many times have you done facetime what do you
mean in general
you never do facetime i do it every night to who
to who i've been facetiming with somebody every night who you've been facetiming
cleveland who you've been facetiming you know what dude what's going on here
today
what is going on here today that's why everybody wore your shirt so they could
call you out for
shit and make you not feel bad yeah anyway i do facetime and um are you facetiming
with someone that you um
enjoy right now yeah how long do you stay on facetime with this person half an
hour maybe that's pretty
good do you remember we were young and we'd talk on the phone to someone we
liked for hours no when
we were like young young oh my god and they would sit on the phone for hours
and hours and hours you
guys don't know about landlines no in when i was when i went on the road my
first road date was in
san antonio and i was seeing this girl jennifer field remember the girl that oh
yeah that's actually
when i was 23 i ate her vagina in her mom's closet who could forget yeah
who could forget yeah and i remember going to because i was opening for mencia
carlos mencia and
we're at the um that san antonio mall lol not lol it wasn't even there yet it
was in the mall the other
one yeah right and they had this weird like condo that i had to stay in and i
remember from after
the show maybe it was like i was one o'clock in the morning i talked to her to
like eight in the
morning yeah on the land i remember though on a landline yeah and it says i
love you i miss you
you know what i mean be falling asleep and wake up and keep talking yeah i miss
those days me too man
never never gonna get that ever again now these kids just stay on facetime
where they clean other
people's houses now when a girl calls me i treat them like a telemarketer i
gotta go i can't wrong
number wrong number i can't but you know here's the thing about young love
though yeah i've been
asking around to people where has it gone young love for me well you're 52. i
know i know that's
what i'm not saying young love where's old love no no yeah old love i'm just
saying the feeling of
like you know st andrew's retirement home is right down the street from me yeah
come by sometimes
i know what i'm saying is the feeling of like you're in a pink cloud
butterflies you get you no
i don't you don't get that anymore you don't get it i remember in my your age
it was intense
it's different it was like but you're feeling it for the first time yeah but it
was just like
oh my god this is it this is you know this is going to fulfill every and it
doesn't does it
drink no because it always you always get betrayed it lets you down yeah yeah
in some
way you're going to get let down but i want to but what i'm saying is i'm
trying to find that
in my life now but you're going to get that feeling no i haven't felt that
since i was their age you'll
get a different version when you first met i did get out with her for a couple
years yeah yeah but
anyway um no but but you're going to find it in a different way stop rubbing
your tits
what do you mean stop it no i just stop you're going to get me warm feeling no
can i just do
you're going to get me hard if you keep doing that i know but i i i i want to
feel it in my chest like
love you're going to get the love it's just going to feel different you're not
that young anymore
your view your your your viewpoint on the world is different so you're not
going to feel the same