Name: Making Bobbi Althoff Uncomfortable for 9 Minutes Straight
Uploaded: 2024-03-20T16:00:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Making Bobbi Althoff Uncomfortable for 9 Minutes Straight' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Making Bobbi Althoff Uncomfortable for 9 Minutes Straight' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-20. Transcript available.

a dude i'm this close to what to what honestly to what leaving not leaving but
like really having a
having a hoedown with you okay let's hold down then what you got to sleep
better i i had a good
set last night no you're delusional dude bobby yes put your phone down right
yeah yeah do you know
it's so funny what is your question no i have a question yeah with your little
ears sticking out
like that you know you look like a wood elf thank you like from the movies you're
gonna look up what
that is yeah yeah we're gonna show it you really look like a wood elf right
there to the fans there
that's a nice look what would her wood elf name be huh what would her name be
there we go that's she
her thank you bingalo bingalo stevens bingalo steven yeah yeah your wood elf
name is bingalo stevens
thank you and you live in the deep forest sounds good yeah in that mythological
world what do you
think i would be a troll a little troll i'm a little troll or big troll big
troll okay
fuck you fuck you dude i have to ask i want to know this is a question because
i think about this
a lot my buddy has three girls when the girls reference their father what do
they call him dad
dad or daddy daddy they say daddy yeah i just feel like i don't if i ever have
a daughter i don't want
do you want your daughter to call you daddy that's not weird don't make it
weird yeah you could do papa
pop that's weirder how is pop or papa or poppy weirder than daddy daddy's only
weird because daddy's
what puerto ricans call everybody don't speak me daddy see no it's weird it's
weird it just sounds weird
you know what i mean i don't like i'll do my homework daddy right doesn't it
sound weird i don't like
daddy yeah i don't like daddy it grosses me yeah yeah why is it why then why
but then how come it
transfers over into adulthood people do that to like everything go do it again
do it to something else
nice try thank you yeah nice fucking try someone no one goes out no adult male
goes mommy you'd
fucking throw up on site if some kid if i walked into a friend's house and he
was like mommy can we
have mamacita oh you're in america yeah elsa shut the fuck up right now dude no
see what i'm saying
though daddy transfers into adult language like a problem is korean society how
does apa sound
apa's great yeah up on oma i'll do my homework apa you ruined it already what
do you think well i know
you don't do your homework so i think that's it you're definitely spanked
anyway it's up on oma right
yeah dude you're so bilingual that's high six japanese but anyway did you know
what kind of asian i am
you know wait wait you don't know what kind of asian i am do you care no um
what's your favorite ethnic
food mexican oh you like it what dish do you get what mexican dish do you get
tamales oh loose basic
what do you think do you really do you think the word basic would apply to you
genuinely or no
no because it's not it's not a negative connotated thing basic is kind of nice
i'd say i'm basic
yeah i would say the same thank you i'm complex you are you are you are you
know what i am diverse
i'm two shifts away from the rubik's cube being solved and you're when all the
colors are all
over the place which is beautiful it's not a bad thing i disagree okay i'm
already solved all the
colors are on all the right sides abso-fucking-lutely yes you're do you really
think you're a cohesive
thing yeah but then i make you're a nightmare right you it up every morning but
then i but in the
morning it's back to the same colors right that's like a movie yeah right like
every day you up all
this and then overnight it somehow everything fixes it you know why because
everybody else is doing it for
you someone comes in the room bro i swear to fuck your dude i'm telling you
right now dude you're
this close of having a fucking hoedown you're this close and you we haven't had
a hoedown in
a very long time dude and i'm willing to i'll get my cowboy hat and i'm willing
to go down dude
go get it hee-haw hee-haw dude focus on the guest okay let's go she's on her
phone again again oh my god
she's bored she's not bored oh she is no no you're not come on you know what
you you you are more than
welcome to leave at any time i don't want to do it if you want to go go please
don't actually will
i don't want you to if she wants to go let her go we did hers okay she does
ours if you want to go i
don't want to keep you here if you don't feel like yeah yeah if you don't have
any more questions
i don't have a million of them i have a million questions all right she's ready
to go may i say let
her go this is the first time i've ever seen it but i think that you're a
decent human being looking
human being decent looking human being and all of it i mean in the insides as
well thank you so
much were you really saying what were you saying what you were saying i was you
know i'll be honest
with you i was like i don't have any questions so then i just you know i mean i
went with my instinct
right and it came out weird you know basic look good and good good look what's
on what's on bobby
althoff's spotify top songs like kids music like what like um miss rachel that
kind of stuff make
spotify music she doesn't she doesn't have any jams not on spotify how about peppa
pig and they don't
listen to their music you know what bobby let's create a child song now i'll do
a line you do a line
we'll go all the way down the line sounds good yeah red balloon in the sky with
the butterfly me
sliding down the slide at the park this afternoon i'm gonna pass
we'll try it again yeah yeah what yeah i'm not giving nothing no no go ahead
bob
well you how about open your heart before you when we get to you not make a
decision now okay yeah i
mean yeah okay and the red train going down the track who's that man standing
outside my window
we can just keep doing it yeah yeah go ahead it's the mailman but he's got a
funny eye why is he
staring at me for so long today he doesn't have mail but two hatches in his
hand interesting and no
pants on his legs i call him billy but he goes i'm not billy today i'm a
murderer
you guys rehearsed that yeah we it's called improv what are you doing sorry too
much yeah it's enough
it was too much no i like it yeah yeah did you ever did you take improv classes
i should i think you
should i think we should teach her now no i don't want to no because i'll tell
you why what i noticed
when i did hers in my mind i'm like she doesn't know him yeah she does yeah so
i'm like she we could
teach her then maybe you know what's bobby's comfort zone where do you feel the
most happy uh sleeping
i love that yeah how many hours a day not many because of the children yeah let
me ask you something
yeah because i know a guy who saw his nanny hit his hit the kid oh wow on the
thing in the face
yeah it was abuse wow and the cops showed up a couple days later a couple days
it's lapd bud yeah
they got stuff going on yeah unless it's a gang war it's like a kid a kid hits
big deal big deal if
i took that call but i can if you saw that would you and i mean obviously what
would you do you be
enraged yeah i'd fire you'd fire her but would you call the authorities yeah
okay she slapped my kid
yeah that's it that's it yeah you're not gonna go physically assault her you're
not gonna have a
hoedown you're not gonna make a ring-a-ding-ding to somebody who should not
would not be named
and have that woman disposed of for slapping my kid yeah no in the sea you go
you cross my kids in the
sea is that another song yeah in the sea you hit my kids no you don't have my
kids in the sea okay
if you hit my kids you drown in the sea okay my bad if you hit my kids i will
drown you in the sea
pacific ocean we gotta be specific why because i think the specific is um it's
a bigger ocean but
it's not a sea pacific ocean isn't a sea exactly oh mediterranean sea so far
pretty indians see no
that's far i'll bet the bay mexico bay sure it's not a sea either yeah can you
please it's back
on her phone back on your phone you guys keep talking to each other what am i
supposed to do just
stare it yeah okay yeah and we'll do whatever you want be free