Name: Which Bad Friend Does Bobbi Althoff Like Better? Bobby or Andrew?!
Uploaded: 2024-03-21T16:00:23.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Which Bad Friend Does Bobbi Althoff Like Better? Bobby or Andrew?!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Which Bad Friend Does Bobbi Althoff Like Better? Bobby or Andrew?!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-21. Transcript available.

I remember you saying that a lot when I was with you.
I was disgusted a lot.
You didn't say, she didn't say that once.
Did she not?
Not on ours.
Yeah, you, because I think I disgusted you.
Yeah, many times.
Many times.
He did not disgust you.
Well, he wasn't like putting his toes out.
Oh, my toes are disgusting.
Taking his shirt off.
I didn't take my shirt off.
How dare you?
I think you did.
I did.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think I did.
Yeah, I did.
But I apologize for that.
But it was hot.
We're playing tennis.
And you tried to like hug me without your shirt on.
You don't hug, right?
You don't hug.
I hug.
No, I know.
Your children, but not strangers.
No, you don't hug other people.
Not really.
Like if we gave to, when you say goodbye, you wouldn't give a hug, would you?
I would.
No, you wouldn't.
I do.
Would you hug me?
I don't hug.
That makes perfect sense.
Yeah.
She doesn't hug.
Who in the room would you hug?
So that's Pete on the left.
That's McCone in the back and that's Fancy in the white.
I can say something about McCone right now, I think.
Who would you hug?
I don't hug.
You wouldn't hug me.
An interesting thing about McCone right now, you know?
I would hug with my family.
What?
What?
What's going on?
Well, I thought McCone thought he had a shot with Bobby.
Oh, yeah.
Get on the mic.
You want to say something?
I don't know if you want to approach this at all, but I know you're, I know you're.
He literally thought he had a shot with you.
It's so silly.
Well, you're single now, yes?
Oh, yes.
Yeah.
And I don't know if it's sensitive and I don't want to be rude and
disrespectful to that.
And I mean, I'm being genuine.
Okay.
But this, this, this guy, this moron.
He's their intern.
This moron.
He says to us, he goes, I think she's, I think she's really pretty.
And I said, okay, great.
And then he said, I think, I think when I go with you to the thing, I'll try to
chatter,
chatter up.
And I said, okay, good luck.
Silly, silly man.
And then he said, what do you mean?
Good luck.
You think I don't have a chance with her?
And I said, I said, absolutely not.
Absolutely.
Well, Bobby said, absolutely not.
And I said, do you think you do?
And he said, I think maybe she'd like me.
No, you started going.
I have the gift of gab.
Gift of gab.
That's what he said.
He said the gift of, it's a Minnesota term.
And then also he was like very cocky about it.
And then when I saw him after it, he's like, no, I didn't have a chance.
Well, he didn't say one word.
Yeah, he didn't say one word.
So you want to say a couple of words now?
You're a foolish man.
Go ahead.
Step up to the mic and say what you need to say.
I thought, you know, we're two movers and shakers, young.
Oh my God.
You think that you're even in this.
Let him do it.
Let him do it.
You know, get up on the mic so she can see you and say what you need to say.
Go ahead.
The hair's coming back in.
I was bald for a bit, but, you know, feel a little more confident again.
But no, she's, she's intimidating.
Can't, can't.
That's, yeah.
That's your pitch?
That's the pitch.
That's the pitch.
It's so weak.
Wow.
You guys said that this one was her latest man.
I did not say that.
Yeah, they say that.
Not me.
Yeah.
I don't say that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Bobby, do you, do you, is this the kind of guy that you would date in your next
round of life?
No.
No.
Exactly.
And why though?
Just give me some, some reasons.
Just come curious.
I feel like he's like 20.
He's, well, he, he's, you're same age.
I feel like I'm 40, so once he's 40, then he's not my same age.
You're the same age, but go ahead.
What else?
What is, what is some other?
He has no money.
I could, I mean, let me guess.
Can I guess?
He has absolutely no money.
Okay.
Let's get past that.
Yeah.
Okay.
Beyond the age and the money thing.
What else?
I feel like those are two pretty big things.
But let's add some more for fun.
Yeah, yeah.
For the sake of the show.
I mean, is he attractive to you?
Do you have a mullet?
Did I see one?
He has a mullet.
He has a mullet.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
For now.
For now.
Okay.
Okay.
There's another.
Is he attractive?
And like a kid.
Like, like, oh, look at that kid.
So if he calls you mommy, that's okay.
That's disgusting.
Well, that's...
Although, can I say something?
Yeah.
Last night, because I'm, I have a friend visiting me.
And this friend of mine.
Yeah.
She goes, you know, I know you're gonna get mad, but I have to say that I think
Makona's cute.
And it literally, last night, I literally lost my mind.
Yeah.
Is this a girl that you're dating?
Yes.
I literally lost my mind.
Yeah, that would gross me out.
It grossed me out.
So he's not cute, though, at all?
I didn't, I have no opinion.
Well, look at him right now, real fast.
Do you see anything you like over there?
I don't want to.
Can we set you guys up on a date?
No.
Please?
No.
Okay.
Pretty please?
No.
Okay, good.
Well, you know, I'm single, Bobby.
I'm considered the Korean Timothee Chalamet.
So, um.
Mm-hmm.
Timothee Chalamet.
Chalamet.
You're more, you're not really a Chalamet.
What am I?
More like a Tuong Fu.
Bring up Chalamet.
Yeah.
That, look at how fucking beautiful that kid is.
Okay, look at that.
That's not you.
Wait, do that face.
Oh, yeah, I see it.
I see it.
You see it?
Yeah, I see it, actually.
Mm-hmm.
Look at him.
Okay, my bad.
I really love, and I really appreciate you.
I love you feeling what you just felt.
Because I really need you to stay where you are sometimes.
Because he's getting real ahead of himself.
Yeah.
Is he?
He's late to everything.
Yeah.
I paid for him to come out to New York.
I pay for his life.
I mean, and I love him.
He's family to me.
I said, come out to New York for the premiere of my movie.
I want to, let's ask Bobby what she would have done in this circumstance.
My mother is in town.
I flew my mom out for the premiere of this movie.
Kind of a big deal.
Play me out.
Huh?
You didn't play me out.
Why?
Why?
Why would I?
We were friends.
Oh, do you want to come to a premiere of something?
No, but.
Okay.
Well, fuck, dude.
So I flew my, I flew my mom out.
I said, you have one job.
You have to meet me at the premiere and I want you to film me and my mom
getting out
of the car together.
It's a special moment for me.
One job.
Did you get that footage?
So.
Did you get the footage as a big yes or no?
I can't believe this shit.
I was staying in Brooklyn at the time.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Did you get that footage?
Were you there before me to get that car, me getting out of the car?
I got on the train.
Yes or no.
Were you there before me to get me and my mom?
The one thing I asked you to.
I was there before you.
Did you film me and my mom getting out of the car?
You were getting out of the car.
Did you film me and my mom getting out of the car?
No.
Thank you.
What would you do in that circumstance if that was someone you hired on your
team for
one special moment in your life who you paid to do a thing and really no other
responsibilities?
He could have done anything he wanted for the fucking four days in New York.
Go party.
Do whatever he wants.
One thing.
What do you do in that circumstance?
And by the way, whatever she says goes.
I'll fire him.
Diddy, diddy, diddy, diddy, diddy, diddy.
You heard it.
Out.
Go.
Thank you, Bobby.
He's been waiting for that for a long time.
That was super good.
Right?
Wouldn't that hurt your heart?
Yeah.
Bobby.
Yeah.
When you're ready to date, what are you looking for?
Oh.
Let's have like a little checklist here.
So can we ask you some questions?
Sure.
All right.
So what if he had his own children?
That's fine?
Yeah, I guess.
Okay, that's fine.
Blended family.
Like the Brady Bunch.
I can't really like say no now that I have kids.
Right.
You can do whatever you want.
But what if they were like stay home forever kids?
If you know what I mean.
No.
I would prefer if they didn't have kids.
You know what I mean?
They have helmets.
You know what I mean?
What?
They're stay home forever kids.
You know what I mean?
They're just like whizzing around, you know?
Okay.
What's your next question?
All right.
So that's number one.
Number two.
What if he is like, I don't have a job, but I have money.
Is that okay?
No.
He needs to work.
Yeah.
What if he just wants to stay home and take care of the kids?
Yeah.
And he wants you to live your-
I mean, they're whizzing around his room, his house.
He's got a-
He needs to have his own life.
Okay.
How short can he be?
At least six feet tall.
So it has to be over six feet.
Mm-hmm.
Six feet is like the-
It's just when people are like you, you're just cutting out so many people.
I think it's fair.
No, it's not fair.
It's not fair at all.
I think men under six feet-
I want to be able to wear heels.
Right.
Not-
And you still can.
And not be taller.
All right.
Why-
I mean, it hurts me.
Well, why?
What if we have boys?
Because I'm-
Because when I go on dating sites-
How tall are you?
Five, three and a half.
Just flat.
There's no way.
Are you actually?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I am.
I am.
And it's like when I go on dating sites like Raya, some of the things will say-
You're on, Raya?
Wow.
Wow.
That's a shot.
Well, I didn't-
It's a shot to my gut.
It's a shot.
You know what you meant when you-
That's not what I meant.
I just genuinely was wondering if he's on, Raya.
They let you on that?
Yeah.
That's not what I said.
Anybody can get on it.
Wow, it's really going down.
No, not every-
That even hurts more.
Let anyone get on it?
I feel like I've seen that anybody-
You just need like a referral code or something.
A bunch of referrals by fancy people.
Thank you.
Oh, okay.
Will you use the apps at some point or you think you're not going to do that?
I'm okay.
You'll never do that.
I'm waiting to stumble upon the level.
All right, but sometimes the app will go, I'm not looking for anyone under six
feet and it hurts me.
But anyway, let's keep going.
That's fine.
Just date people under four feet.
I like taller women.
Not.
There's definitely-
Okay, then fine.
There's women who like short guys.
That's just not for me.
Okay.
Short kids.
Fair enough.
Yeah, there's a lot of women that like short kids.
Yeah.
You wouldn't have dated Napoleon and that's a shame on you.
He ran the thing.
He ran the thing?
France.
I don't even know who that is.
Both of you guys have no idea who Napoleon is.
He ran the thing France.
Like dynamite?
Yeah, there he is right there.
Totally in dynamite.
He was the same height.
That's Bobby.
Yeah.
But killing the game.
Look at him.
Look at his dick.
Not that big.
Oh, it's not that big.
Yeah, it's not that big.
Yeah, it's not that big.
Yeah, it's not that big.
Yeah, it's not that big.
Yeah, it's not that big.
Yeah, it's not that big.
Yeah, it's not that big.
Yeah, it's not that big.
Yeah, it's not that big.
Yeah, it's not that big.
Yeah, it's not that big.
Yeah, it's not that big.
Yeah, it's not that big.