Name: Bobby Lee Summons Dark Forces to Freak Out Bobbi Althoff
Uploaded: 2024-03-22T16:00:25.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee Summons Dark Forces to Freak Out Bobbi Althoff' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee Summons Dark Forces to Freak Out Bobbi Althoff' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-22. Transcript available.

All right, so he has to be over six feet tall.
- Yes. - Ask her about color.
- What color?
- What is wrong with you guys?
- What color? - What color?
- You guys, I'm done.
- What about Asian?
Are you okay with Asian men?
- How many are over six feet?
- How many Asian?
- You know what, dude?
Honestly, not much, but anyway.
- It's actually true.
- That's true.
Interesting.
I would love to see your feet.
- Thank you.
- Jiminy Crickets.
- Jiminy Crickets, I fucked up.
- Why would you say that out loud?
- I was looking at her boots right now.
I go, I like the boots,
but I'm like, what's underneath it?
And I go, probably nice feet.
- You're not saying that in a gross way, are you, bud?
- Not in sexual, no.
I don't find her sexually attractive.
- How big are your feet?
- Why?
- What size shoe do you wear?
- Yeah, that's not.
- A six, why?
- A six?
- Yeah.
- Tiny.
- I bet you have long toes.
Are they long toes?
Do you paint them?
- Bobby, long toes.
- Yeah.
Do you paint your toes?
- I don't paint them myself, no.
- But I bet you get gels.
- Yeah, like you, remember?
- I know, I do remember.
Dude, that day, I'll never forget.
- Oh.
- Oh, oh, oh.
- I forgot.
- Hmm.
- Ouch.
- Ouch.
- Do you get, like, a little lint between your toes or?
- Will you save some and send it to him?
- No, it's just, this is weird.
This is what you do to me when I'm gonna leave here
and tell people he was so weird.
- What?
- You're gonna say Bobby was weird?
- Yeah.
- It's so crazy because it's like,
why can't you ask these questions?
- You can.
- I'm curious about your feet,
I'm sure they're lovely,
and I'm curious to see the condition they're in.
That's all.
I mean, Pete, am I wrong?
- No, not at all.
- Exactly.
- Do you have a foot fetish?
- I might have one.
- Yeah.
- 'Cause I've been showing people mine.
- Yeah, well, that's not what a foot fetish is.
That's not the same thing.
- You know what I mean?
And I think mine are so nice, look.
- Mmm.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- You like what you see?
- I don't wanna see.
- Do you drink or use drugs?
- I, are you the police?
What are you asking me that for?
- Maybe who's asking?
- Why are you asking?
- Did you have something traumatic happen in your life
growing up?
- No.
- Okay.
You were attacked by a wild animal.
- Is that how you usually get information out of people?
- Yeah, yeah.
- You just like guess until you maybe get it.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Were you in a cult?
Were your parents in a cult?
- No.
- Did you go to church every Sunday?
- Yes.
- What church?
Can we say that?
- No, what kind of religion?
- Yeah, what kind of religion?
- Christian.
- Oh, let's get into Jesus.
- Catholic?
- No.
- Just broad Christian?
- Like what was the cult?
- The church was called Christian church?
Non-denominational?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- That's a cult.
- You know what, dude?
- Is it?
- Shut the fuck up, dude.
- That's enough.
- Enough about you.
- It is a little bit though, but in a good way.
I can see you at a pew on your hands and knees.
- What?
- No, that's Catholic.
They don't do that.
- They don't do pews?
- That's not that.
- I can see you in the wooden bench.
- Hmm.
- Okay.
- On a wooden bench, right?
- And then when the song comes, you know how they do the song, and you have to
pick up
the book a little.
- Oh.
- I guess you immediately grab the book and really, you don't even need the
book.
You have it memorized.
- Oh.
- Jesus Christ, you're my Lord and Savior.
- I feel like you guys are going to go to hell for this.
- And my friend.
- Why would we go to hell for praising Jesus?
- Yeah.
- Mocking him.
- Really?
- Really?
- I think we're showing love and respect.
Do you still go to church?
- No.
- When was the last time you went?
- Oh, let me.
- Beelzebub.
- What?
- I love you, Satan.
Netherworld.
Beelzebub.
- Cool.
- I do both.
Like, I go both ways, and that confuses you.
That's right.
But that's the yin and yin of me.
- I'm texting Luke.
- Oh, don't text Luke.
- Who's Luke?
- Her manager.
- Why, like, cut this out?
- Yeah.
- No, please, no, no, no, no.
- Listen, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby.
Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby.
- Look at him.
- Bobby.
- Begging.
- Bobby, please don't leave.
Please don't tell your manager that, you know,
this was an uncomfortable situation.
I really apologize and I worship you.
I love you so much.
Thank you so much for being here, Bobby.
Thank you so much for being here.
- Very good.
- Satan be Elzebub.
- I'm kidding.
- Well, any other questions?
- Well, this was nice.
- I love you so much.
I really do.
I care about you.
- Thank you.
- Okay.
Before we end, I just want to, let's do,
I know what we're going to do, all right?
Because I feel like we're in a hole, okay?
- Who's we, not we.
- Me?
- I'm humming.
- I'm humming too.
- Okay, you're good.
- Like a bird.
- Yeah.
- Right, so what I want to say is let's go down the line,
not a song, don't worry, right?
But we express how we really feel about each other
before we go.
- Okay, that's good.
- And only positives, no negatives.
- Okay.
- Right?
Should I start?
- This is your bit.
- It's not a bit, dude.
- This is your...
- It's an exercise.
- This is your exercise.
- Okay, it's like a gratitude list.
Can you look at me?
- Okay, so Bobby, here's how I feel about you, okay?
I'm honored to work with you.
I am.
When I, I really am.
When I did your part, I was so grateful
that you asked me to do it because you're hot
and the kind of, no, like in terms of the numbers,
like you're hot out there,
not in the, like an attractive way, you know?
I mean, you're attractive, but I know.
I feel like it.
- I feel like I'm drowning in sadness.
- All the way to China, this one's going.
- I know.
Let me start over, all right?
I was really grateful that you had asked me.
I thought we worked well together.
It got really good traction.
It helped me out a lot.
I also, I just think that you're like a anomaly,
a very talented person.
And I think that in this time of age,
we just need somebody like you out there.
I think you're so important.
And I just, I think that you're a good mom.
- Thank you.
- And I think, I want to see your feet.
That's it.
That's good, right?
Is that good?
Other than you.
I go to you now.
- Okay.
- Yeah, you're my best.
And you're the best, you know?
And we're going to Austin tomorrow together.
- Tomorrow, yeah.
- Yeah, it'll be fun.
- And I just like working with you and I trust you immensely.
- God bless.
- And I love you so much.
Go ahead, now your turn.
- Okay.
Bobby.
- Mm-hmm.
- Be real, dude.
Be authentic.
- Bobby.
- Good.
Here we go.
- You know.
- It's happening.
Oh, no, 'cause you're feeling it.
And that's what I love about it.
- It's organic.
- It's so organic, dude.
- I'm letting it rip.
- Bobby.
Will you, can you, you know what?
Go in the front room just so I can have like a moment.
- Have a cigarette.
- Have a cigarette.
I really want this to be, I want it to count.
I'm sorry I made you come here and do this.
I'm sorry, I know you said you didn't want to do it.
And you said this is going to be a waste of your time.
And you don't like Bobby.
And he makes you uncomfortable.
And you said it over and over, and I'm sorry.
Okay, do you accept my apology?
- No.
- Okay.
- That's a wrap.
How do we get out of here?
- McCone will help you out.
- That's okay.
- Did you see Dune 2?
- Yes.
- I didn't ask you.
- Oh, oh.
- Yeah, do you see it?
Do you like it?
Would you like it?
- Did I see Dune 2?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Dune 2, Dune 2, Dune 2, Dune 2, Dune 2, Dune 2.
- I didn't see Dune 2 and I'll tell you why.
I want to re-watch Dune 1 before I go again.
- That's what I did the night before I went to see Dune 2.
- My cousin just did that.
That was a smart idea.
- He got stoned, he watched Dune 1 and then he went to this theater and watched
Dune 2.
So that's what I need to go back to do.
- Yeah.
Woo-hoo! Yeah! Woo-hoo! Yeah! Woo-hoo! Yeah!