Name: Bobby & Andrew GO CRAZY Over The Goop's Real Name!
Uploaded: 2024-03-26T16:00:46.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby & Andrew GO CRAZY Over The Goop's Real Name!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby & Andrew GO CRAZY Over The Goop's Real Name!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-26. Transcript available.

- You know, also, could I just say something too?
You're a little deceiving.
- No, I saw the last episode, I never lied.
I told you that I haven't done standup in five years.
- That's not what I'm talking about.
- Oh.
- You know, when you make assumptions, somebody gets bit.
- No.
- Is that a term?
I just made that up.
I think I've got a couple of phrases jumbled up there,
but when it's not broke, fix it if you break it.
Anyway, listen, bud, I don't like being lied to.
I don't like being deceived.
I don't like your rabble-rousing, that word.
- I agree, can we move on?
- No, no, we can't move on until I address this issue.
- Okay.
- What's your name?
- No, did Esther tell you?
- No.
- Okay.
- What's your name?
- Greg.
- No.
- No.
- No.
If you think we don't know, okay, we know.
- What's your name?
- What do you, I thought this was gonna be about Polly.
- I know what it is.
By the way, are you chewing gum and eating potato chips?
- No, I'm practicing being a father.
By the way, I had a dream where there was three babies
and beanies and neon beanies running.
They were your babies.
- Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
I know what you're trying to do right now.
It's not gonna work.
We're gonna talk about this issue
and then we're gonna move on, okay?
- Is it because I did Polly's podcast?
- No, it has nothing.
- Well, it has a little bit something to do with it.
- Yeah, you can't do any other podcast by that way.
- But he promised me a pop cup if me and Buster behaved.
- All right, these little whimsical things
you're doing right now,
these cute things you're doing right now,
usually it works with me.
'Cause I think it's working a little bit now.
'Cause I wanna kind of move on now, 'cause it's so cute.
But my point is, what's your name, friend?
- Greg!
- No, what is your legal name?
- Why would that be a problem?
Okay.
- Don't yell.
- Okay.
Oh, that's right, 'cause we're wearing microphones.
- Yeah, we're wearing microphones.
- Okay, we're strapped, or?
- We're strapped, my dog.
- Oh, but why would that make you mad?
- What is your name?
- 'Cause I don't like being lied to, that's all.
- Greg is my middle name and my ID.
- What's your first name, though, on your ID?
- Who did you get this from?
Okay, sorry.
- Goop, goop, make this easier.
- Oh, does he know?
- We know.
- Am I gonna prematurely give information?
- Can I tell you what it is, or is that the game we're playing?
- Okay.
- Your name is Krikor.
- Krikor.
- You know, Esther told you.
- Krikor.
- Your name is Krikor.
- Krikor.
- Which translates to Greg.
- No, it doesn't.
- And Coco comes from Krikor.
- It translates, in space language, fat guy.
- No.
- Krikor.
- That's a Klingon name.
Krikor is a Klingon name.
- No.
It's the fat guy.
- First of all, it's Grigor, like Krikor.
- Oh, Grigor.
- It's a masculine given name and a surname.
Variants include Gregory, Gregor, Grigiri, Gregory.
And in Western American, it's Krikor or Krikor.
- Okay, at this point, now you know my first name,
my middle name, my last name.
You know all the schools I've been to.
My brother says, "Don't give out your social security number."
And now, everything anyone needs to change my passwords are pretty much on this
podcast.
- Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
We don't want to go to your middle name right now or your last name, okay?
- Okay, okay.
- You're doing your cute thing in it and it's really for me because I kind of
want to move
on.
- No.
- But, um...
- No.
- Let's stick to Krikor.
- No.
- Thank you so much, friend.
Yeah.
- Yeah.
- What the...
So, why don't you just go by Krikor?
- I had 27 years to decide if I want to be Krikor.
I decided I want to be Greg.
- So, we can drive down Glendale, you and I, and there could be somebody on the
side of
the street going, "Krikor!"
- I will walk by.
- What?
- I will just walk by.
- I know, but there are people out there that know you as Krikor.
- No, no, no, no, no.
They either know me as Koko or Greg.
- No one knows you as Koko.
- With a K.
- No one knows you as Koko, dude.
- They do.
- You've been trying that since day one, trying to get Koko to stick, and it's
not going
to stick with me.
I'm never going to call you that, okay?
- Who knows?
- Who comes with their own nickname, man?
- Family.
I don't, honestly, I thought today was going to be fun.
I had a rough week.
I keep getting chicken nuggets, chicken impossible nuggets stuck in my toaster,
and then I got
stuck under a weighted blanket.
- Okay, see what he's doing.
- Stop it.
- Stop it.
- Stop it.
Why are you putting nuggets in the toaster?
- 'Cause you get them crispy.
- Cutty, do you not have an oven?
- It's my fourth toaster this year.
- Do you have an oven?
- Yeah.
- It's not plugged in.
No, it's, I don't.
- The oven isn't plugged in?
- The oven.
I'm not going to turn on an oven.
- Do you have an air fryer?
- I have an air fryer, but that's not plugged in either.
It's so much fun putting chicken nuggets in the toaster, and then they pop up
and then
you had to catch them, and then you had to get them out, but it smokes.
And then you think, how long can I let it smoke?
- I might have you guys turn off his mic.
- No.
Yeah.
I'm supposed to be a side piece.
- This is, it's just.
- Yeah.
- You're our side chicken nugget.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- I'm going to plug in the oven.
- Plug in the air fryer.
What?
I can't plug it.
- Do you not know how to do that?
Unplug and plug.
- I know how to use a toaster.
- But do you know how to plug and unplug thing?
- Yeah.
- You do.
So can you unplug your toaster and plug in the oven or whatever?
- Well, it's burnt.
I need a new toaster, but yeah.
- Okay.
- Buy this guy a new toaster, please.
- No.
I will buy it.
- Yeah.
- You buy it?
- Well, listen up, Cricor.
- No.
- Cricor.
- No.
- Cricor.
- That sounds more Korean than Bobby.
- Cricor.
I am Cricor.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- It sounds like from He-Man, doesn't it?
- Yeah, it does.
- It sounds like one of the characters.
- Skeletor's bitch.
- No one knew this until.
- Hi, Skeletor.
- Hi, Skeletor.
- It's me, Cricor.
- Yeah.
Let me say something, Cricor.
- Is that Cricor?
Is that a famous Cricor?
- Yeah.
- Oh, there are other famous Cricor.
Oh, he's chess.
- You're more checkers, huh?
- Mm-hmm.
- I see more checkers.
- I don't...
I like the...
- He doesn't see chess.
- When you say...
- Yeah.
- The fast food restaurant checkers?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, not the game.
He doesn't know how to play that.
- I like board games.
- Yeah, yeah.
- I like cards against humanity.
- No, listen.
What games can you play?
- Perfection.
- You know how to play chess.
- Perfection, but that's hard.
I like...
I don't know how to play checkers or chess.
- You don't?
- No.
- Checkers either.
- No.
- And they underestimated me and I won.
- I'll tell you what game he doesn't know how to play
is plug in the oven.
- Yeah.
- That's a tough game for him.
- That's a tough game for him.
- For some reason.
How are the chippies, bud?
- Yeah, Cree.
- I have twins this time.
- Yeah, you do, buddy.
- One's Asian.
- They're both Asian.
- So, can we call you Creecore from now on?
- Oh, yeah.
- But like, that's like the worst thing you could call me.
- Oh, I could think of some...
- Oh, no!
Then I'll meet you at...
- I could think of a lot of things.
- But like...
- I have some questions for Andrew afterwards
because you guys are getting some...
- Ask away because this is your...
- You guys did a background check, I think.
- We're gonna move on, so...
- Okay, afterwards.
- No, ask now.
- You have questions for Andrew?
Ask away, baby.
- No, no, no, no.
I'll ask after because honestly,
I think you guys did a background check.
- No, we didn't.
- No, we didn't.
- How did you know?
- Do you think we did a back...
Look at the fucking employees we have.
Do you think we did a background check?
- Yeah.
- That's insane.
- Okay.
- This is a fucking illegal immigrant,
an obvious cartel drug baby,
and then a loser from the Midwest
who was like a hockey coach dropout.
I mean, dude, we don't...
We just pick up the scraps where they fall.
- Yeah.
- Did we talk about his Long Beach performance yet
or to him?
- No.
- No, I don't think so.
We haven't seen him since then, I don't think.
- Okay, so that's another lie.
- Oh, wow.
- No, I...
- Let me talk.
- Okay.
- May I?
- Yeah.
- Is this your show?
- No, I don't have a show.
- I know.
- Yeah.
- Calm it down.
- Calm it down, dude.
- Yeah.
- Creek, Creeky.
- Creeky.
- Creecore.
- Corkery.
- Creecore McCorkery.
- Creecore McCorkery.
- That's a few guys.
- Sounds like a lawyer.
- Yeah, yeah.
- So, another deception.
- Or that's Johnny Cochran, I think.
- Shut up.
- Shut up, man.
- Shut up.
- You had a full-blown panic attack a week before Long Beach begging us, "Please,
I don't
want to do it.
I'm going to fail.
I haven't done it."
All the excuses.
- And then?
- You show up at the show.
How many people in the audience do you think?
- 3,000.
- 3,000 people.
And you walk up there and you pull out a fucking AK-47.
And you go, I mean, you, okay, two minutes before you went up, he told me, "Hey,
I think
he should only, he shouldn't go up or he should only do a couple of jokes."
- No, I said, "He looks a little too nervous.
Maybe we should restrict his time to make him feel comfortable.
Just do him a couple minutes and tell him he can come right back."
- Right, right.
Something like that.
- 'Cause he was pacing.
- Right.
I came to you, I came to you, I go, "Ah, me and Andrew had a talk.
You should just say hi."
Pretty much.
Right?
And you went up there, you went like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And you obliterated the room.
- Did great.
- Yeah.
So that's another lie.
- Another lie.
- That wasn't a lie.
- Shut up.
- Oh, so you had 10 minutes of jokes, of pure jokes.
- I timed six minutes.
- But not that night.
- First of all, you did 12.
- No, I didn't.
- Yeah, yeah.
I can't hear him.
- Yeah, he turned his mic off.
I like that.
- No.
He turned his mic off a little bit.
It's fine.
- Turn it up.
- Okay.
- But here, creaky, creaky, creaky dog.
- I said I was gonna die.
I didn't say I can't do stand up.
And that part was true.
- You weren't gonna die.
- I was gonna die.
- No.
- And then when your agents and managers showed up, I forgot English.
- Oh, it's so, because also he treated, this is so funny.
Agents and managers are like his rock bands.
- They're my pen pals.
- Like he knew by name, they're every, like what agents, it's so fucking weird.
- He knew my, he knew my agents, he was like, that's your agent?
- Yeah, yeah.
- I was like, how would you know who that is?
- Yeah, you said the name.
- I write letters to them.
That's how you book comics.
- Oh, fuck.
- What do you mean?
You write letters to them?
- Yeah.
- You're Mr. New Sephora.
- You mean, you mean an email?
- Yeah.
- You write an email.
- You hand write a letter.
- I would.
- And then translate it to email?
- Get their attention.
- That'd be funny if you did that.
- You email Neuse and you say, hey Neuse, I'm interested in booking people for
my show.
- Yeah.
- It's actually very smart.
- That's good.
Do you know my agents?
- Yeah.
- Who?
- Well, I thought Abby was Abe because I was just losing my mind.
But then I found out it's Abby and it's, you know, but Matt Blake, he has two
first names.
- Stop.
- Okay.
- He handles heavyweight.
- A-B-B-E.
- Yeah.
- Abe.
- Abe.
- By the way, we're calling Abby Abe from here on out.
- From here on out, yeah.
- You're Cricor and she's Abe.
- Abe.
Oh my God.
- And by the way, what a show that would be on Adult Swim, Cricor and Abe.
- Oh, it's wanderlust.
It's beautiful.
It's the precipice of happiness when you're around.
I love it.
- Woo, yeah.
Woo, yeah.
Woo, yeah.
Woo, yeah.
Woo, yeah.