Name: Santino Holmes Solves the Case! | Bad Friends Clips
Uploaded: 2024-03-28T16:00:34.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Santino Holmes Solves the Case! | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Santino Holmes Solves the Case! | Bad Friends Clips' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-28. Transcript available.

you soaked in new york yeah i think it was because it was the first time with
this girl
it was like the first time we met that it was like a progression over the night
like
my pants then my underwear then soak but the weird thing is love on the
spectrum was on the
whole time really i got into it so i was listening during this whole time maybe
that's why you
couldn't that's why you stopped it's soaking well how do you know i didn't come
because i didn't
i think he did it i think dude this is he's a detective did you see that yeah
he's a good
little detective yeah you're like sherlock holmes to me i i go ask away yeah uh
you came to love on
the spectrum and you're gonna prove it i didn't come watching love on the
spectrum i promise
keep going creek you got it i'm not trained for this um a quick let's do a
little scenario here
i think i really think that you're like sherlock holmes okay it's the early
1800s in london
i've been to london that doesn't matter it's fine all right right and we him
and our police officers
we're on a scene of the crime that's right right there's a young lady brutally
stabbed there's a
knife um but it's broken off but we can't find the other half of the knife okay
we don't know what to
do because we're two like mike what do we do i don't really know what i do yeah
i just don't
you i i i don't understand how we are we hired like this type of english guy
well i got the job
anyway part of the knife is broken anyway creek or it's up to you to figure it
out yeah creek or we
called you do we there's our phones we call them we rung you up we rung yeah
sorry creek or about his
face you've got to finish he had a stroke you've got to finish your crime you're
a great actor i'll be
eating beans on toast i think the first place you should check is inside for
the other half oh inside for
well you're are do you have are you having a stroke are you english hello i'll
try to do what you are
doing i feel like this is like watching yeah we didn't check we didn't check
the east side when bobby
does english it's like a asian guy shut up man let me commit to it dude anyway
books find find the
other half of the knife inside the body so what do you do to find the other
half creek you're up
i think you have to flip them over and burp them burp them see if the other
half comes out that way
holy shit wow oh my god people swallow daggers i think they swallow the dagger
behold
wow i lied in my resume i shouldn't get this this this this what what happened
to your accent i don't
know yours freaked mine out why you guys i'm trying i'm committing anyway okay
so you very good you
would be a good detective that would be very good whoa so you wanted us to tap
his body so that the
other blade would come out of the hole you burp them you burp them yeah wow
that's never been
done there somewhere yeah okay i don't know creek yeah are you finding some newfound
fame look behind
you we had some fan make art for you which is incredible you're well you're
turning violet violet
yeah that's what that is you know what that's from yeah i love charlie and the
chocolate factory
willy wonka and the chocolate back there it is i don't like the johnny depp
version at all why is
that because johnny depp so you hate johnny depp post scandal or pre-scandal he
was just terrible in
that movie you don't need to make him you know willy wonka quirky because he's
already perfect
so you think gene wilder's version is the best version yeah by far what about
chalamet didn't
he just redo it as a young willy wonka yeah do you not like chalamet's version
um i watched it it took
three times to get through it but you can't beat the original you can't beat
the original there's you
there's you know you really can't yeah you really can't i don't know i don't
honestly be i've only
seen that movie one time god i've watched it so many so i don't know what what
it's about at all
i can can i just i'm not making a bit out about it let me see if i can get it
let's see how close you
okay there's a factory that's a crazy part there's not well there's yeah really
yeah yeah of course
and this guy um willy wonka well willy wonka william william t wonka william t
wonka right
runs this chocolate factory that's right and there's a promotional kind of uh a
contest for people that
it's in a bar there's a ticket right and if you get the golden ticket you get
to go to this
promotional thing seems like you've seen it no i know i haven't i sat one time
i'll just but now
after now it gets a little hazy okay so of all the kids that get the golden
ticket right and then
things ensue somebody gets blows up one of them is fat one of them is a bitch
okay okay goop goop
slow down who's the bitch goop veruca salt yeah oh that's her name there's a
band called veruca salt
oh newsflash newsflash they're named after her wow yeah anyway and then there
wasn't a band called
charlie bucket charlie bucket is such a good name for a band but at the end
there was a gobstopper that
one of the kids stole everlasting gobstopper everlasting gobstopper and at the
end of the
movie he puts it on willy wonka's desk that's charlie charlie charlie is charlie
is bribed
by willy wonka's what seems to be his evil competitor right and he says if you
steal me an everlasting
gomp stopper smeglesworth or something that guy what that's the guy who smeagle
smeglesworth or
something the guy you're doing your schmeck was worth that one no it's not
schmeck was worth his name
in the movie is uh what is his name that guy willy wonka enemy yeah what is his
name slugworth
slug weren't even close at all schmeagles were smiegel is um slugworth i
remember vividly as a kid
watching this by the way and seeing the way they shot that the sheen on his
face it was so smooth
i remember the light bouncing off his cheeks and the indentation and how scary
he looked the way he
talked there's no job that this guy doesn't have that that scares the shit out
of people yeah at
mcdonald's what do you think yeah like i wouldn't eat it he's so yeah he's so
scary in this film he
does such a great job wow but he convinces charlie to try to steal an
everlasting gobstopper right
there that's the scene and charlie bucket succumbs to the poor uh overwhelming
feeling of trying to
help his family out and jack's one with his uh grandpa joe you said jack's one
with his grandpa joe
dude honestly dude you need help creek you need to get you go to the hospital
get your head checked
out eat one of those chips creek yeah yeah chip eat a crick anyway chip eat a
crick so and then
and then willy wonka likes charlie no well he sees the good in charlie the
whole film because all these
other kids are kind of spoiled brats there's mike tv right right wants to be a
hollywood movie star
i see and there's violet beauregard and wow so you've seen it you've seen it
one of my favorite
wow it was one of my favorite books as a kid like i loved it so much and then
what ended up happening
was you stole fizzy lifting drink that scene is one of the best scenes of all
time right and so and he's
with his uncle or something right grandpa joe grandpa joe and he's he's and
grandpa joe i remember goes
come on come on charlie let's leave come back and he goes and he goes hold on
grandpa joe one second
and he what that's very good and he walks up to the table i remember willy wonka
is writing
something down maybe he's like you know writing a letter or drawing a picture i
don't know what he's
doing and he sets it on the table he turns around and then willy one goes this
isn't charlie right
charlie come back here charlie you've won charlie oh yeah yeah you won charlie
yeah that's something
like that the beautiful scene that that that these film dorks will remember is
when he puts the
gobstopper down and he puts his hand on the god's uh do you know this moment
willy puts his hand over
the god's a gobstopper as if to like say like this is amends have been made
peace has been made him
putting his hands on the gobstopper was you saying to the man i'm sorry i told
you to go yourself
dude and all he could have done all he should have done was ride the elevator
through the glass
into the sky with you but he did that guy didn't he that guy was slugworth he's
slugworth the man
we met you hear that violin man you hear that violin man you're slugworth and i'm
gonna say this right
now dude i've never ever in my lifetime go ahead no i want you i've never in my
lifetime have met any
individual like you did that was out of pocket unreal and unrehearsed you got a
lot of nerve slug
i that was a terrible trip because you got it you got it dude how dare that guy
you