Name: Bobby Lee Dissects Jetski's Love Life
Uploaded: 2024-04-19T16:00:11.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee Dissects Jetski's Love Life' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-04-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee Dissects Jetski's Love Life' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-04-19. Transcript available.

how have the shows been on the road jess um great i headlined 13 shows this
year already
right lucky 13. wonderful and then all your spots it's been cool seeing people
show up
and i got that netflix thing in may 11th only a few tickets left too it's in
may
it's already almost sold out netflix is a joke yeah that's the name of it oh
sorry
where are you performing uh the belly room it's your own show my own show it's
already
almost sold out they should can they add another one i don't know i mean i
think can we open
i thought about it i thought about doing all the people i've i've opened for
open for me
yeah that's actually a good idea yeah why can we open why can't we open oh no i
want i was i didn't
think you would be interested well i mean we didn't get asked i barely hear
from you guys these days so
well you're too famous you're bigger than i did get invited to soho house whoa
whoa which one the one
in hollywood i think so west hollywood i mean i think so beverly hills yeah
yeah and and what and
what was the circumstances uh met them at the comedy store they were like gave
me their emails and they
said anytime you want to go just let us know was it representatives of soho
house yeah oh nice carlos
how could i do belong to soho yeah no you belong right carlos can you get me in
yeah they let him
belong to it oh yeah yeah i think yeah but you know how much it would hurt if i
got denied oh my god you
wouldn't get denied what are you talking about you just walk up i've not look
dude i've never been a
member i've been in there 300 times me too i just walk in yeah they don't say
anything what time do
they close the whole house i don't know one two ish they don't say anything
they don't care if you're
there they know drugs there yeah but i'm saying if you if you know how to get
into the park there to
get to the door they assume you know what you're doing i'll get you in whoa
dude why haven't you
joined soho yeah i live in the valley me too well i don't want to go it's in
beverly hills i don't
go down do they have one in the valley no of course not oh downtown yeah they
no they do have one in
the valley actually really they do have a secret soho house where is it they do
have a secret soho
yeah yeah where is it i don't know if i should tell all right are you allowed
to know tim dylan's
house yeah yeah that's a soho house any any interest of dating anybody or oh
what's going
on in the dating scene i really want to be in a relationship but i feel like i
have no time to
explore that like i do single different than bobby i don't know you guys
probably do it kind of the
same but you're not doing you jump on raya fly someone in pay thousands of
dollars to host them
don't you yeah it's not sexy when it's you're doing that for a man oh right
yeah it doesn't
work the other way does it not for me i like i don't but i don't do that i don't
do that well
let's bring up the hollywood curtain again and see what do you mean what do you
mean what do you mean
is that a bad is that a bad am i a that's a not an insult
do you get on ryan fly girls in from other places
it's not even invasive it's not it's like a common common knowledge yes i have
before oh
okay what is going on with pop cut it out go ahead cut it out no keep it in no
it's fine i just don't i think that's not like an offensive or a mean or rude
thing
no i think it's awesome and hot if i were the girl i'd be like that's awesome i
need to find
a guy i've done it a couple times in my lifetime let's just say that and i'm
asking you because
when you were up on stage thursday night up there there was two dudes with hard-ons
on in the back
and that was sitting in the booths in the back and behind me you know who was
watching you
with loving in his eyes oh i he told me yeah wait who my ex oh this is sad no i
looked around i looked
at me he was i swear to god this is what his face was oh yeah that's that's
karma coming at you it's
not karma karma i want to come here i want that happen no it's okay we'll clean
it later you know
why he was he was doing he was doing this so he has arms stretched out like
this on the thing right
you're on stage that way right and he was doing this you know you know why
right why he's a huge
david tell fan oh this is he was he was not on stage no he came running into
the room because they
said david tell was there he's fine compliment him while he's doing it i like
that we're all quiet
anyway no but you're but but so seriously you're not on the apps or none of
that shit no i i don't know
how to find somebody because i work a lot like i'm i'm i went to a party but it
was like a work party
so that was the first time i went out outside of a work environment and so long
so i'm just oh
sunday at the andes yeah i was invited i forgot about it what was there that's
crazy you know about
the party i didn't think he would go to that employee party it was a birthday
party it was
like 10 people at birth wellington yeah she turned 40 yeah yeah it was oh it
was a great party everybody
dressed up i dressed up as debbie harry oh that's cool everyone thought i was
taylor swift and there
was no guy there that you went no because i work with all of them and yeah i'm
not doing what when
you're on the road so when i'm on the road there's been a couple guys in like
the meet and great that'll be
like can i take you out for a drink but it feels weird because i've just it's
like they know about
me but i don't know anything about them i mean that's how it works that is how
it works is it though
because like now i'm going when you i don't know these people i know but when
you become more known
that's part of it just feels weird they know more about me but then i know then
you you know what you
do it's an old trick in the book it you may not know you ask questions you get
to know them
like what do you do you're like teaching an autistic kid to have a date it
feels so awkward ask
questions but ask questions buddy that's how you learn yeah and also can i just
say this it's not
wrong to get some side dick yeah but also okay that's a good point i feel a lot
of pressure to go
on right that's in a book somewhere that is in some book yeah yeah yeah maybe
in that cruising 101
vaseline alley book yeah how do is there pressure because if i go on a date
they're gonna want to
have sex but maybe i don't want to have sex then lay that lay that out forward
go look i'm not
interested in sleeping with someone but i am down to hang out with you just say
that up top
absolutely but even if you did like the guy right you you have a couple of
drinky drinks right
and you're like yeah i want to make out with this guy if there's nothing wrong
with that and
you're also still not obligated to do yeah you just tell him look i'm not going
to sleep with you
i wish you guys could come with me we will let's do it yeah just over your
shoulder we're like she's
not gonna you man people don't realize if it's in that relationship for five
years and i've just
been working my ass up like in stand up like head to the ground like hustling
so i i have so out of
touch yeah but you deserve to enjoy that stuff too you do you deserve to get it
doesn't have to mean
anything it can just be fun yeah i'm maybe that's what my therapist says yeah
you're allowed to have
you're allowed to have fun in life maybe i'll do the app the app sounds scary
like i'll just meet
up with somebody in a random place that's an alley carlos does that all the
time yeah you can meet
them at a police station or a fire house that sounds so lame good advice also
you know what
with someone like you right you you could be in the power position i don't want
to be though but wait go on
go on go and go and go and you could have a guy that you're attracted to who's
a great guy great
ethics value morals great job all the things but likes to follow in your
footsteps and doesn't need
to be the center of attention and you're that person he could be supportive of
you and then you get
great dick on the side yeah i kind of want someone like i watched goodfellas
recently oh yeah i want
like a mafia guy who has connections and like i want a powerful man in my life
you want a guy that owns
a sandwich shop in new jersey huh yeah carmine i don't want to date a you know
what are you talking
about that's not talking about yeah what are you talking about hey forget about
it hey forget about
it's a hundred dollars take a walk go shopping hey go shower bitch don't tell
anybody i came too fast
insecure gangster don't tell anybody that i pre-came can we get what you what
you're looking for here
like can we check off the list what are you looking for here um i want somebody
not in
comedy but oh that you hear what she just said what doesn't want a jewish
person that's what she
just said yeah you don't want a jew racist racist racist all right you don't
want a jewish person
none of us are jew um no but somebody far as you know who makes as much money
as me or more
jew yeah so now you want a jew maybe i do maybe i don't i don't you mix it
against her
no she said as much money as her or more yeah right so like half jewish yeah
okay like it
like dad's jewish mom's not yeah right okay not a real jew what else um that
they're like they can fight
why do you make that face that's a good quality i don't know why you need that
yeah i want to feel protected yeah but what if they just have a gun yeah what
if i have mace
i don't want to go on a date what if i have what if i have the rape whistle it's
so funny that i said
gun he said mace oh why it's just such an extreme difference i know you want to
murder i just want
to like i don't want to murder shoot him in the knees you know like jake gyllenhaal
in southpaw
yeah in what southpaw can i get that yeah you can't
no chance my standards are too high no that's a really because he is that's
like top of the line
jake jillie he's so look at the guy roadhouse roadhouse jesus christ he's great
that's all i
want yeah that's not gonna get that simple pimple stuff yeah you're not gonna
get that
roadhouse look at that that's what you want yeah of course and you know what
you're gonna get he's
not interested you know you're really gonna get you're gonna get stavros yeah
yeah you know he
can fight there that's it he can fight though he can fight and he's got a yeah
he looks mafia
yeah not italian it's like the roadhouse photo but like stretched out a little
bit yeah
like panoramic panoramic roadhouse maybe if i squint my eyes yeah
like if a skinny guy got a tattoo of jake gyllenhaal and then he got fat that
would be
that'd be the tattoo yeah so so you're looking for a guy that can fight a guy
that has more money
or as much money as you yeah right i don't want to be like the power of dynamic
i i don't like to be
the more you don't want to pay for someone else you want someone to pay for you
yeah okay what if
i'm a guy that says an independent person what if i'm a guy that says yo art
this is one of the cruising guys yeah yeah he's just like fuck basquiat man i
fucking hate art is that a problem well no okay because then i could do my own
thing yeah yeah
you know i hate food what do you eat oh i met this guy yeah you've heard that
you know this guy you know
this guy yeah i've never heard bobby say that yeah yeah no no no this is not me
i love my body i love
food yeah yeah but um but i hate food like you know i gotta eat oh you know who
did say that the
other day who mark smalls he hates the art of eating he yeah look at him malnutrition
i don't trust
that at all yeah don't you hate food yeah he doesn't he just plays war zone all
day yeah he thinks it's
a waste of time you can only say that it's a first world country problem yeah
so do you hate food do
a guy that doesn't like food eats it because he has to survive but doesn't like
flavors or
great restaurant what about a guy that never wants to go out to eat ever only
does home cooked meals
refuses to go out that's weird okay yeah what if he's got a nice pipe and he
knows how to fight
and he makes a lot of money we'll eat at home no what about one of those fools
that do meal preps
so i know people that go yeah i buy a bunch of chicken a bunch of rice and i
just cook it at one
time and they save it and this is monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday saturday
does that guy
bother you if i wanted that i'd be a lesbian and just get a housewife okay okay
so that's something
you guys are asking me about dating like how you would want a woman no no no no
no no we're just saying
like what would be the flaw that you'd be okay with that's weird like that like
it's a little strange but
it's not that big of a deal i wouldn't it wouldn't be like i would end the date
immediately if he's
like i love the meal what if it what if he was what if he was really handsome
and cool but he also but
he smoked crack but he made a lot of money and yeah yeah yeah yeah and he had a
nice dick but he smoked
rocks yeah he's not an addict yeah right okay okay he just casually yeah yeah
he's a casual no there
could be a guy you think there's a casual casual i only do it on weekends and i
only do it with my
friends yeah okay so on saturdays i never smoke alone yeah you never smoke
alone saturdays right
him and his buddies they'll watch a game smoke crack and smoke crack together
yeah but a monday through
friday i mean just during the days he goes to his he works at you know an
insurance company exactly yeah he's
an insurance broker he works for all state well i've always wanted to try crack
so okay oh yeah
have you never tried it no well i don't think so have i tried crack no man that's
not an insane
question man most people haven't tried crack i've smoked cocaine that's crap
that's close that's close
that's pretty close but it didn't look like crack and it was like 80. give me
the percentages of americans that use crack
like how would they even find them all to do the second they're all yeah crack
statistics
how come i couldn't be on this survey who uses crack cocaine
okay that's not bad that's statistic
no crack i'm trying to be funny but i would not want a crack user okay
this is that 97 of crack users are american god is good god is good it's the
greatest country
in the world because we know what's good is yeah those are the losers they don't
know what it is
imagine if you introduce crack to like japan how much it's like the cleanest
place on earth
yeah it's already that way yeah what would crack do it's just more efficient i
mean
no crack doesn't make you let's not crack's not like meth yeah but in japan it
would be oh japan it
would be no japanese people on meth what kind of technologies can they make we
go to the moon and
back the same day they like that you know the adventure avengers end game that
little thing
that they can go back in the past because i would make one they make that like
an hour and a half
an hour and a half giving it give a japanese guy adderall is it what's that old
quote give a japanese
guy teach a japanese guy how to fish he'll eat adderall he'll eat adderall
build a time machine
what's that old quote you

Bobby Lee Dissects Jetski's Love Life

how have the shows been on the road jess um great i headlined 13 shows this
year already
right lucky 13. wonderful and then all your spots it's been cool seeing people
show up
and i got that netflix thing in may 11th only a few tickets left too it's in
may
it's already almost sold out netflix is a joke yeah that's the name of it oh
sorry
where are you performing uh the belly room it's your own show my own show it's
already
almost sold out they should can they add another one i don't know i mean i
think can we open
i thought about it i thought about doing all the people i've i've opened for
open for me
yeah that's actually a good idea yeah why can we open why can't we open oh no i
want i was i didn't
think you would be interested well i mean we didn't get asked i barely hear
from you guys these days so
well you're too famous you're bigger than i did get invited to soho house whoa
whoa which one the one
in hollywood i think so west hollywood i mean i think so beverly hills yeah
yeah and and what and
what was the circumstances uh met them at the comedy store they were like gave
me their emails and they
said anytime you want to go just let us know was it representatives of soho
house yeah oh nice carlos
how could i do belong to soho yeah no you belong right carlos can you get me in
yeah they let him
belong to it oh yeah yeah i think yeah but you know how much it would hurt if i
got denied oh my god you
wouldn't get denied what are you talking about you just walk up i've not look
dude i've never been a
member i've been in there 300 times me too i just walk in yeah they don't say
anything what time do
they close the whole house i don't know one two ish they don't say anything
they don't care if you're
there they know drugs there yeah but i'm saying if you if you know how to get
into the park there to
get to the door they assume you know what you're doing i'll get you in whoa
dude why haven't you
joined soho yeah i live in the valley me too well i don't want to go it's in
beverly hills i don't
go down do they have one in the valley no of course not oh downtown yeah they
no they do have one in
the valley actually really they do have a secret soho house where is it they do
have a secret soho
yeah yeah where is it i don't know if i should tell all right are you allowed
to know tim dylan's
house yeah yeah that's a soho house any any interest of dating anybody or oh
what's going
on in the dating scene i really want to be in a relationship but i feel like i
have no time to
explore that like i do single different than bobby i don't know you guys
probably do it kind of the
same but you're not doing you jump on raya fly someone in pay thousands of
dollars to host them
don't you yeah it's not sexy when it's you're doing that for a man oh right
yeah it doesn't
work the other way does it not for me i like i don't but i don't do that i don't
do that well
let's bring up the hollywood curtain again and see what do you mean what do you
mean what do you mean
is that a bad is that a bad am i a that's a not an insult
do you get on ryan fly girls in from other places
it's not even invasive it's not it's like a common common knowledge yes i have
before oh
okay what is going on with pop cut it out go ahead cut it out no keep it in no
it's fine i just don't i think that's not like an offensive or a mean or rude
thing
no i think it's awesome and hot if i were the girl i'd be like that's awesome i
need to find
a guy i've done it a couple times in my lifetime let's just say that and i'm
asking you because
when you were up on stage thursday night up there there was two dudes with hard-ons
on in the back
and that was sitting in the booths in the back and behind me you know who was
watching you
with loving in his eyes oh i he told me yeah wait who my ex oh this is sad no i
looked around i looked
at me he was i swear to god this is what his face was oh yeah that's that's
karma coming at you it's
not karma karma i want to come here i want that happen no it's okay we'll clean
it later you know
why he was he was doing he was doing this so he has arms stretched out like
this on the thing right
you're on stage that way right and he was doing this you know you know why
right why he's a huge
david tell fan oh this is he was he was not on stage no he came running into
the room because they
said david tell was there he's fine compliment him while he's doing it i like
that we're all quiet
anyway no but you're but but so seriously you're not on the apps or none of
that shit no i i don't know
how to find somebody because i work a lot like i'm i'm i went to a party but it
was like a work party
so that was the first time i went out outside of a work environment and so long
so i'm just oh
sunday at the andes yeah i was invited i forgot about it what was there that's
crazy you know about
the party i didn't think he would go to that employee party it was a birthday
party it was
like 10 people at birth wellington yeah she turned 40 yeah yeah it was oh it
was a great party everybody
dressed up i dressed up as debbie harry oh that's cool everyone thought i was
taylor swift and there
was no guy there that you went no because i work with all of them and yeah i'm
not doing what when
you're on the road so when i'm on the road there's been a couple guys in like
the meet and great that'll be
like can i take you out for a drink but it feels weird because i've just it's
like they know about
me but i don't know anything about them i mean that's how it works that is how
it works is it though
because like now i'm going when you i don't know these people i know but when
you become more known
that's part of it just feels weird they know more about me but then i know then
you you know what you
do it's an old trick in the book it you may not know you ask questions you get
to know them
like what do you do you're like teaching an autistic kid to have a date it
feels so awkward ask
questions but ask questions buddy that's how you learn yeah and also can i just
say this it's not
wrong to get some side dick yeah but also okay that's a good point i feel a lot
of pressure to go
on right that's in a book somewhere that is in some book yeah yeah yeah maybe
in that cruising 101
vaseline alley book yeah how do is there pressure because if i go on a date
they're gonna want to
have sex but maybe i don't want to have sex then lay that lay that out forward
go look i'm not
interested in sleeping with someone but i am down to hang out with you just say
that up top
absolutely but even if you did like the guy right you you have a couple of
drinky drinks right
and you're like yeah i want to make out with this guy if there's nothing wrong
with that and
you're also still not obligated to do yeah you just tell him look i'm not going
to sleep with you
i wish you guys could come with me we will let's do it yeah just over your
shoulder we're like she's
not gonna you man people don't realize if it's in that relationship for five
years and i've just
been working my ass up like in stand up like head to the ground like hustling
so i i have so out of
touch yeah but you deserve to enjoy that stuff too you do you deserve to get it
doesn't have to mean
anything it can just be fun yeah i'm maybe that's what my therapist says yeah
you're allowed to have
you're allowed to have fun in life maybe i'll do the app the app sounds scary
like i'll just meet
up with somebody in a random place that's an alley carlos does that all the
time yeah you can meet
them at a police station or a fire house that sounds so lame good advice also
you know what
with someone like you right you you could be in the power position i don't want
to be though but wait go on
go on go and go and go and you could have a guy that you're attracted to who's
a great guy great
ethics value morals great job all the things but likes to follow in your
footsteps and doesn't need
to be the center of attention and you're that person he could be supportive of
you and then you get
great dick on the side yeah i kind of want someone like i watched goodfellas
recently oh yeah i want
like a mafia guy who has connections and like i want a powerful man in my life
you want a guy that owns
a sandwich shop in new jersey huh yeah carmine i don't want to date a you know
what are you talking
about that's not talking about yeah what are you talking about hey forget about
it hey forget about
it's a hundred dollars take a walk go shopping hey go shower bitch don't tell
anybody i came too fast
insecure gangster don't tell anybody that i pre-came can we get what you what
you're looking for here
like can we check off the list what are you looking for here um i want somebody
not in
comedy but oh that you hear what she just said what doesn't want a jewish
person that's what she
just said yeah you don't want a jew racist racist racist all right you don't
want a jewish person
none of us are jew um no but somebody far as you know who makes as much money
as me or more
jew yeah so now you want a jew maybe i do maybe i don't i don't you mix it
against her
no she said as much money as her or more yeah right so like half jewish yeah
okay like it
like dad's jewish mom's not yeah right okay not a real jew what else um that
they're like they can fight
why do you make that face that's a good quality i don't know why you need that
yeah i want to feel protected yeah but what if they just have a gun yeah what
if i have mace
i don't want to go on a date what if i have what if i have the rape whistle it's
so funny that i said
gun he said mace oh why it's just such an extreme difference i know you want to
murder i just want
to like i don't want to murder shoot him in the knees you know like jake gyllenhaal
in southpaw
yeah in what southpaw can i get that yeah you can't
no chance my standards are too high no that's a really because he is that's
like top of the line
jake jillie he's so look at the guy roadhouse roadhouse jesus christ he's great
that's all i
want yeah that's not gonna get that simple pimple stuff yeah you're not gonna
get that
roadhouse look at that that's what you want yeah of course and you know what
you're gonna get he's
not interested you know you're really gonna get you're gonna get stavros yeah
yeah you know he
can fight there that's it he can fight though he can fight and he's got a yeah
he looks mafia
yeah not italian it's like the roadhouse photo but like stretched out a little
bit yeah
like panoramic panoramic roadhouse maybe if i squint my eyes yeah
like if a skinny guy got a tattoo of jake gyllenhaal and then he got fat that
would be
that'd be the tattoo yeah so so you're looking for a guy that can fight a guy
that has more money
or as much money as you yeah right i don't want to be like the power of dynamic
i i don't like to be
the more you don't want to pay for someone else you want someone to pay for you
yeah okay what if
i'm a guy that says an independent person what if i'm a guy that says yo art
this is one of the cruising guys yeah yeah he's just like fuck basquiat man i
fucking hate art is that a problem well no okay because then i could do my own
thing yeah yeah
you know i hate food what do you eat oh i met this guy yeah you've heard that
you know this guy you know
this guy yeah i've never heard bobby say that yeah yeah no no no this is not me
i love my body i love
food yeah yeah but um but i hate food like you know i gotta eat oh you know who
did say that the
other day who mark smalls he hates the art of eating he yeah look at him malnutrition
i don't trust
that at all yeah don't you hate food yeah he doesn't he just plays war zone all
day yeah he thinks it's
a waste of time you can only say that it's a first world country problem yeah
so do you hate food do
a guy that doesn't like food eats it because he has to survive but doesn't like
flavors or
great restaurant what about a guy that never wants to go out to eat ever only
does home cooked meals
refuses to go out that's weird okay yeah what if he's got a nice pipe and he
kno