Name: Racist Lululemon w/ Chris Distefano
Uploaded: 2024-05-01T16:00:18.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Racist Lululemon w/ Chris Distefano' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Racist Lululemon w/ Chris Distefano' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-01. Transcript available.

Sing us a song.
Idiot mean is my friend.
No, he's not.
I'm sure he will be at the end.
Yes, he will.
That's it.
That really bummed me out.
Happy New Year to you.
No, no, no, no.
What?
New Year is over.
Give me the love.
No.
Give me the truck and give me the fudge.
I don't know, man.
Chris DiStefano is in town
and we love him.
He's thicky, thicky legs
and a lot of gums in his mouth.
Keep going.
I'm just trying to do some things
that AI won't be able to copy.
No, AI is going to copy all of us.
They can't do that.
Yeah, they will.
They can't do that.
Your AI was going to be hilarious.
Yes.
It's going to be like,
what do you have to talk about?
Cube shot.
Cube shot.
Ladies and gentlemen,
our guest today is one of our oldest
and dearest friends who we love so much.
It's Chris DiStefano.
And Chris DiStefano is looking real svelte.
My mother used to say svelte
when she meant like a thick boy status.
You like that?
You're thick boy.
You know what it is?
It's the corduroy shirt.
I think corduroy shirts,
I don't know what it is.
I just feel like I'm like a blanket.
What do we...
You know what you're doing?
You're doing the Marc Maron route.
Yeah.
What does that mean?
That.
That look.
The whole look is the Marc Maron,
except for the shoes.
And the pants.
Maron would never wear tapered off pants.
Oh, that's true.
Lululemons.
I don't think Marc Maron wear Lululemons.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, no.
Lululemons.
Lululemon.
Although he is sour,
so he might wear Lululemon.
Is that Lululemon?
Lululemon.
Do you have a men's department?
Yes.
Okay, Byrne.
You ready for this?
What?
Do they?
I've been in there.
I've never seen it.
Of course they have a men's department.
Have you been in the men's department?
Also, it's gender fluid, dude.
It is.
Lululemon is gender fluid.
Do you know about the creator?
Do you know why he named it Lululemon?
Hold on.
I'm not making this up.
Can we make a guess?
Yes.
Okay, so Lululemon.
It's got to be somebody's name.
Lemon.
It sounds like...
A fruit.
No.
You ready?
You're good.
This is...
Damn, dude.
You're good.
No, I'm not done.
I was putting the two together.
Go ahead.
When Sherlock Holmes is on the crime scene,
he's got to put the evidence,
and you're my...
What's this guy's name?
I'm Sherlock.
You're Sherlock?
Why can't I be Sherlock?
You're 100% not...
Can I be Sherlock?
You're not Sherlock of anything.
Moriarty.
Moriarty.
You're Moriarty.
Moriarty.
Can I be Moriarty?
Yeah.
You're Watson.
I'm home.
Oh, I'll be Watson.
All right, then you show up at the scene.
Well, now,
we've got a case of Lululemon on our hands.
What do you think, Watson?
What do I think?
What do I think?
Why?
What is Lululemon?
Why am I Asian?
What are you, Asian again?
You've got to be British, dude.
Oh, shut up your head.
I'm sorry.
Hello, hello, hello.
I don't know.
I don't know, Sherlock.
Sherlock.
Dude, even your British is...
Hello, hello.
Shut up, shut up.
Let me finish.
Why is it called Lululemon?
It's called Lululemon.
And again, you can Google this
because the founder of Lululemon
was like a known racist
and he named it that
so Chinese people couldn't pronounce it.
Shut the fuck up.
I swear to God, dude.
Google it.
Google Lululemon founder
makes, names it
so Chinese can't...
Yeah, funny to watch
Japanese people try to say it.
Oh, this guy's the best.
Say it.
Say it.
Say it.
What?
Say Lululemon.
Say Lululemon.
Ru-ru-remen. Ru-ru-remen. Ru-ru-remen. Ru-ru-remen. Ru-ru-remen.
The reason the Japanese liked my former skateboard brand, Homeless, is because
it had an L in it,
and a Japanese marketing firm wouldn't come up with a brand name with an L in
it, so it's not their vocabulary.
It's a tough pronunciation for them, so I thought, next time I have a company,
I'll make a name with three L's
and see if I can get three times the money. It's kind of exotic for them. This
is a direct quote.
Wow.
I was playing with L's and came up with Lululemon. It's funny to watch them try
to say it.
Wilson was quoted as saying, what's this guy's net worth? This guy made so much
money being a bigot.
This just shows you, kids, you can be racist and still be rich.
Yes. The whole idea of racism is bad is not a real idea.
Look at Lululemon.
It's made up by the media.
Chip Wilson is his name.
Great name.
68 years old, $6.8 billion.
Billion dollars.
Say billion.
Billion.
See, they can't do that either.
Let's say we're creating a company and we want a top Lululemon. How would we
name it?
Little Lady London.
Little Lady London.
Yeah.
Mary.
It got to be.
Mary, yeah.
Or H.
H and L's.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because it goes to Hari.
Yeah.
Harry, Mary.
No.
Harry, Mary's.
Help out.
You're part of the group.
Harry, Mary.
Because it's got to be things that we're saying Asian people can't pronounce.
Yeah, so a lot of L's and R's, right?
R's and L's.
Yeah.
Harry, Mary's.
Harry, Mary, Larry's.
Harry, Harry.
Harry, Mary.
Harry, Mary Larry's.
Eww.
Contrary.
Contrary.
Little.
Yeah.
Little.
Little Lizard Loves Ladies.
Oh, the Little Lizard Loves Ladies.
That's it.
Little Lizards Loves Ladies.
That's our company.
That's it.
So the store opens, right?
You're a Japanese person.
No, you are.
No, you're the Japanese person.
I was the Japanese person last time.
I'm Chip Wilson.
You know what?
I'm the bigot that owns the store.
And I'll be a customer.
Yeah.
I could.
All right, so I'm the Japanese guy?
Yeah, you're my partner.
We opened it together.
Oh, I see.
Yeah.
Okay, so how are you feeling about the store opening today?
Really good.
Really good.
I'm so excited.
Did you fix the sign out front?
I fixed.
Some of the letters were out.
What did it say when you were out there?
What do you mean?
The business name.
Was it all out there?
Well, first of all, because you told me to get all the lettering here in Japan.
Yeah.
We don't have the L's and the R's.
No L's and R's?
So I had to go get it from America.
Wow.
So you fuck you.
Sorry about that.
Right, so I had to get a ship down here imported here.
Uh-huh.
Right, so it came last night at three in the morning.
You put it up, though.
What?
You put up the sign?
Yeah, what was the name of the store?
Wait, wait, I forgot.
What was the name of our store again?
Oh, well, there's a customer here.
Hi.
Oh, hello.
We're not open.
We're open five minutes.
Hi.
Excuse me.
Hello.
We're open five minutes.
Okay.
No, welcome him into our store and say the name.
Say, welcome to.
I forgot the name.
Little, little.
Hold on, hold on.
Shut the fuck up.
I forgot the name of our store, though.
Well, you better go outside and look.
I look, I look, I look.
Oh, hey, how you doing?
What's your name?
Welcome to.
Little.
What was it?
Little.
Little what?
Lizard?
Little.
Little, little, little, little lizard.
Little lizard, ladies.
Lucky.
Welcome to Little Lizard, Lucky, Lucky, Lucky.
Hi.
Hi.
Thank you.
Welcome.
I just saw this store.
Little Lizard, Lucky, Lucky, Lucky.
Yes.
I am.
It looks amazing in here.
I mean.
I don't even know what we're selling, but welcome to.
Welcome to Lucky, Lucky, Lucky, Lucky.
You know, it's, I'm a woman from America.
Yeah, we can tell.
Yeah, we know.
I'm a lady from America and I'm from Japan.
So it looked like they had some things that fit me.
Come on in, there's nothing in here.
No, there's so much product.
I know.
Look at all the stuff we have.
Oh, that's true.
I don't think you'd fit into our stuff.
Oh.
Yeah.
I thought I could.
No, I don't think so.
I think you're a little too beefy for us.
You're too beefy for us.
Yeah.
Yeah, get the fuck out of here.
I don't know how to do it.
No, no.
Yeah, reject her.
In Japan, we say stuff.
Get the fuck out of here, bitch.
You fuck ugly.
Give me a sword.
Give me a sword.
You can kill yourself.
Yeah.
Anyway, that's, okay.
Okay.
We're going to open up a shop.
Yes.
Oh, by the way, now that we're on Asians, let's talk all things Asian now.
Yeah.
I'm sorry, by the way, Bobby.
You brought it up again.
I want to say that I want to start off also, too, before I apologize for last
time I was
in here or two years ago.
I apologize for immediately coming onto the show and pushing my eyes back and
yelling Donald
Trump in your face.
But he's running again, so.
Yeah, so.
No, no.
If it happens again.
Wait, did you get in trouble for it?
No.
No.
No, but I just.
You get some heat online, be honest.
No, sometimes, but I just wanted to say.
Because when you did that, you know what they say about me now?
What?
That Bobby hates his own.
Yes.
Because I, I watched that happen and I don't say shit.
Right.
So online now, I can say Bobby hates himself.
You know how.
And where he comes from and his ethnicity.
So fuck you, dude.
Wait, no, because.
You know what happens?
Fuck you, Donald Trump.
Donald Trump.
People, because people, people have messaged me and said, you know, just
because he laughs
at that doesn't mean you can say that about all Asian people.
And they're right.
And they're right.
So I want.
They're not right.
No, but I want to say to them.
I want to say to the Asian, to the people who are mad at me, I am very sorry.