Name: Rudy is Reading Hardcore Fairy Corn
Uploaded: 2024-05-08T16:00:09.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Rudy is Reading Hardcore Fairy Corn' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Rudy is Reading Hardcore Fairy Corn' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-08. Transcript available.

what is going on in your life rudy i've been reading like fairy smuts
and it's like what do you mean man it's like a fantasy novel and i'm just
reading it because
there's so many hot spicy things to read like and like you're reading fairy
fairies with like
the ears that are long and they're like magical like people yeah fairies are
pretty mythological
but that's pretty magical yeah but they're even like stronger and they're like
so hot
can you do okay wait wait stop what the fuck not the titties on that fairy is
so good wait a minute
you're looking at fairy porno basically it's fairy porn yeah well how do i find
it okay it's a it's a
novel can you do a court of mist and fury rice and yeah re-san okay that guy
okay zoom into that
photo okay so they have wings they're called back we'll zoom in more sorry i
don't see wings bud
those three guys which guys the ears on the bottom the three in the bottom let's
go to the bottom
no not them they have those are fairies look at the ears are they oh they
turned they turned into
oh they transition yeah oh this is progressive it's progressive but the boys
are girls boys but they are girls when they transition no okay but the boys
they say are you saying the
boys boys the boys the boys the boys the the men yeah are they are they under
18 no they call men then
but they're called bat boys okay i'm a bat boy yeah and they say but but but
but but but but but boy
it's just so hot i'm a little bat boy but boy i'm a but but but but but boy
they're but boys
come on sex with me i'm a but do they have butt sex not in the book so you're
reading these erotic
novels but they're all based on fairy yeah wow is it romantic do they go to
high school they're like
buildings yeah it's romantic it's like serious but i just like it because of
the sex part wow
it's so hot i just so gross and then when they they say if you touch their
wings they like orgasm fast
if you play with their wings that's how that's how they come imagine this
imagine this what imagine this right you're down there right you're down there
this isn't working
is that what you mean you touch their wings why just go for the wings in the
beginning yeah why
don't you just go right for the well foreplay oh foreplay right or play is just
regular sex then you
stroke the wings that's and if you have longer wings that means you have oh
also the black ones
have the longer ones is there any little asian little asian wings they probably
can't even fly
but i want to be in that world that's who you want to be you want to be if you
want to be in a fantasy
world don't turn into one of these people that like dynamically changes their
are you going to
do like a plastic surgery to become a cosplay it no no no do you cosplay it no
that's cringe okay
oh that's cringe that's cringe but this isn't cringe though touch my wings
touch my wings is that what
what you say i don't know if the author had that in mind with that voice but i
don't know what it is
i don't know what it is i don't know what's going on that's my wing that's my
wing you gotta touch my
wing yeah that's interesting are there other other creatures in that world
there's different
creatures like name me one like sirens they're sirens but they're ugly sirens
are the sirens are ugly
yeah yeah there's our gargoyles there's different kinds there's even like the
half horse
half centaur centaur yeah there's different kinds but i like the bat boys
because they're
the court of mist and fury it's a series can you imagine how much money these
people make writing
this and then the movie rights you is it is it good enough to be in the movie
no i don't think so
well it's not gonna be good if it's like a person playing it this is election
night in seoul korea
yeah i always stay up for these what i love i'm very interested this is their
coverage yeah there
we are wait where's the where's the volume
it's great it's all ai generated whoa see they're having fun with it it's like
tekken yeah this is
like tekken fight mission there's mission impossible the last one yeah mission
impossible boom
so one guy's winning 62 percent to 38 he's smoking smoking them i will change
at the roads
i will change a bulletproof vest
and we both go in a fight yeah this is the mission impossible because the train
and everything that's
so funny yeah see they know how to do it fun that's fun how come we can't do it
fun is could we take
ourselves serious is that what it is yeah why don't we do it here like british
parliament how come we
don't do that kind of where it's all wacky and they yell at each other and a
lot of a lot of these european
countries now they don't have the death penalty i didn't realize that we should
still have the death
penalty i don't think so you don't think so at all i i i don't think eye for an
eye is the thing do you
think i think it's uh it's cruel not even if like it's a mass shooter oh yeah
yeah that for sure
so what are you talking about exactly i just changed my mind that's why i
wouldn't be a good
politician well no that's why i would change so quickly i just think i stand
for you know i mean
strict borders and somebody yellow yeah uh i stand for strict borders and uh
heavy build building a
wall heckles who's gonna build the wall dude you're right about that no wall
what that's a great
point that is actually what they're good at capital punishment has been
completely abolished in all
european countries except for belarus and russia shout out to belarus and russia
the latter of which
has a moratorium and has not carried out an execution since september 1996. if
you do heinous
crazy i think we gotta get you out but there's but there are some people that
are you know i mean
falsely accused of a crime and they're in death row okay how about this if you're
not falsely accused
if you're the one that's like yeah i i went to that thing and shot all those
people it's like well
yeah yeah then we're gonna get you hmm but isn't it more punishment being in a
cell your whole life
here's the debate we pay for it as taxpayers so you're like do you want to just
pay for them or
do you want to just get rid of them because he's killed so many people okay i'll
propose something
else there you go maybe for something else totally okay do quickly mm-hmm as
soon the next day you're
oh because right there's like thousands of people still on death row right
because we're paying all
the tax rights it's just no but you should torture them yeah oh yeah yeah a
week of torture a month
a month yeah or the seven days that you're you know supposed to be gone the
seven days
in the filipino law yeah yeah so look at that 24 2500 people are still on death
row they're just
chilling they're chilling it's not going to happen for most of them what kind
of torture would you
think should happen you know the one they did in game of thrones where they put
a mouse
yeah they just put a mouse on the belly that is so disgusting so it chews
through a bucket
a mouse of rats that you chew through the abdomen yeah okay you got there i got
there yeah it's that's
that would be unbelievably bad to me a rat chewing through your stomach isn't
that bad how about this
one how about we put you down at the bottom of a well and we just lower a
little bit of water down
there every day just a little bit of water every day what does that do it keeps
you alive you just
drink because you're going to go nuts oh down the well yeah you're going to go
how long can you live
with just water a while a pretty long time yeah yeah until how long can you
live on just water
i gotta tell it is longer it's a long time but it's not two to three months it's
pretty good though
two to three months but think about that that's a sleep you eat your fingernails
you can eat your
whole body if you wanted to yeah or if that well if other people have used it
because i thought about
this during like in um silence of the lambs you know how that late such a good
movie great movie
remember she she looked at the walls and there were nails i would eat those a
metal what is that how
painful the brazen bull oh right to slow and truly agonizing death the person
inside the device was
engineered to convert the screams of suffering victims into sounds that were
eerily similar to the
bellowing of a bull so you're stuck inside the bellowing bull how about this
brazen bull
that's what it's called you take a man a man who's like completely like like
you know an alpha male
right he's oh that's crazy that's how jesus died they cooked him inside of a
bowl and they organized the
horn to just
that's how they know dinner served what about for men cut off their penis cut
off their penis no you
just they just get like fisted i'm gonna take no i'm gonna take you a further
you you you get a
surgeon uh-huh you take a man you give them all female parts right and then you
have you charge a
cover oh wow yeah you're right you can make some money this is pretty expensive
it's no because
you're gonna make it back in somebody yeah but you're gonna make the money back
by the cover
what are you charging how much uh what 500 bucks come on you gotta make it more
economical a thousand
dollars a hundred bucks a hundred dollars a hundred bucks and you can just it's
about volume at this
point oh yeah yeah yeah yeah just imagine you know what i mean yeah oh you know
i'm sorry for robbing
that bank what if we tied people to a helicopter and you got to pinata them oh
that's kind of wild
right i guess something better give it to me a water slide it's a water slide
it sounds fun because
you look you think you're gonna have a good time okay yeah you get in you have
your short your
favorite bathing suit on right right there's a guy up there going all right
have fun buddy yeah right
yeah okay you get you slide down but the gets thinner and thinner right slide
yeah slide and then
eventually you get stuck right right wow and then the water because water
starts up water you drowned in
it oh how do we get you unstuck for the next guy though you pile them on whoa
okay right so you're like
on top of each other right right right just like pat right right and then you
may maybe you can make
the fucking i forget it like a kebab that's what i was saying yeah like a big
kebab yeah yeah or just
make can you can you make the tube more of a tortilla kind of a thing oh you
mean some sort of what
it's like a tortilla shape no it's actual tortilla if you want them to be
edible oh so they slide down
naked you put them in a like a really thick tortilla where they could they're
not going to slip out of
right right and then once you have like 10 guys you tie it up right we eat them
you eat them you pick
them and you eat them this makes a lot of sense i don't know just throwing it
out there
i don't know i don't know what we're talking about right now what's the video i
sent you
or didn't i send you another oh yeah that one that one go back that one other
one
we saw we found out where doc is oh he's been training his breath hold is so
good yeah for
little tiny lungs yeah where does he hold it all yeah look at him we're not
scared buddy i think that
guy would up yeah i don't know why this went around the internet but man it's
just cute to watch him
just cute to watch him i don't know why yeah i would hire him just to swim in
my pool bud
yeah man yeah he wants to come on the show bring him on the show he lives in la
no okay we have to fly him out no he's always around here he lives in miami
he's always coming yeah let me ask you something did you go to coachella
do you guys even go to coachella i've never been have you been let's go next
year abso
let's go next year no i really need to go i've already gone once you have i
went in like the fourth
year or fifth year when it was brand new and then now we got to go next year no
matter who's playing
look at this you see justin bieber and uh and what's his name jaden smith
making out
yeah look at there humping and then he gives him a big kiss i love you baby
oh my god this clip circulated like crazy
gay porn is so good okay enough it's honestly dude what are you talking about
porn yeah i'm just saying
because they're really kissing no they're just they're just on each other and
cheek like i've
done that to andrew but man not like this this looks interesting yeah you've
never kissed me like
that it's just look no i don't think so oh let's just get to a nice little
angle there
i'm walking by what is he saying jade what's he saying sit down
you should sit down you didn't want to even do it i was just like what is this
okay thank you for what i gotta go let's do it thank you for being a bad friend

Rudy is Reading Hardcore Fairy Corn

what is going on in your life rudy i've been reading like fairy smuts
and it's like what do you mean man it's like a fantasy novel and i'm just
reading it because
there's so many hot spicy things to read like and like you're reading fairy
fairies with like
the ears that are long and they're like magical like people yeah fairies are
pretty mythological
but that's pretty magical yeah but they're even like stronger and they're like
so hot
can you do okay wait wait stop what the fuck not the titties on that fairy is
so good wait a minute
you're looking at fairy porno basically it's fairy porn yeah well how do i find
it okay it's a it's a
novel can you do a court of mist and fury rice and yeah re-san okay that guy
okay zoom into that
photo okay so they have wings they're called back we'll zoom in more sorry i
don't see wings bud
those three guys which guys the ears on the bottom the three in the bottom let's
go to the bottom
no not them they have those are fairies look at the ears are they oh they
turned they turned into
oh they transition yeah oh this is progressive it's progressive but the boys
are girls boys but they are girls when they transition no okay but the boys
they say are you saying the
boys boys the boys the boys the boys the the men yeah are they are they under
18 no they call men then
but they're called bat boys okay i'm a bat boy yeah and they say but but but
but but but but but boy
it's just so hot i'm a little bat boy but boy i'm a but but but but but boy
they're but boys
come on sex with me i'm a but do they have butt sex not in the book so you're
reading these erotic
novels but they're all based on fairy yeah wow is it romantic do they go to
high school they're like
buildings yeah it's romantic it's like serious but i just like it because of
the sex part wow
it's so hot i just so gross and then when they they say if you touch their
wings they like orgasm fast
if you play with their wings that's how that's how they come imagine this
imagine this what imagine this right you're down there right you're down there
this isn't working
is that what you mean you touch their wings why just go for the wings in the
beginning yeah why
don't you just go right for the well foreplay oh foreplay right or play is just
regular sex then you
stroke the wings that's and if you have longer wings that means you have oh
also the black ones
have the longer ones is there any little asian little asian wings they probably
can't even fly
but i want to be in that world that's who you want to be you want to be if you
want to be in a fantasy
world don't turn into one of these people that like dynamically changes their
are you going to
do like a plastic surgery to become a cosplay it no no no do you cosplay it no
that's cringe okay
oh that's cringe that's cringe but this isn't cringe though touch my wings
touch my wings is that what
what you say i don't know if the author had that in mind with that voice but i
don't know what it is
i don't know what it is i don't know what's going on that's my wing that's my
wing you gotta touch my
wing yeah that's interesting are there other other creatures in that world
there's different
creatures like name me one like sirens they're sirens but they're ugly sirens
are the sirens are ugly
yeah yeah there's our gargoyles there's different kinds there's even like the
half horse
half centaur centaur yeah there's different kinds but i like the bat boys
because they're
the court of mist and fury it's a series can you imagine how much money these
people make writing
this and then the movie rights you is it is it good enough to be in the movie
no i don't think so
well it's not gonna be good if it's like a person playing it this is election
night in seoul korea
yeah i always stay up for these what i love i'm very interested this is their
coverage yeah there
we are wait where's the where's the volume
it's great it's all ai generated whoa see they're having fun with it it's like
tekken yeah this is
like tekken fight mission there's mission impossible the last one yeah mission
impossible boom
so one guy's winning 62 percent to 38 he's smoking smoking them i will change
at the roads
i will change a bulletproof vest
and we both go in a fight yeah this is the mission impossible because the train
and everything that's
so funny yeah see they know how to do it fun that's fun how come we can't do it
fun is could we take
ourselves serious is that what it is yeah why don't we do it here like british
parliament how come we
don't do that kind of where it's all wacky and they yell at each other and a
lot of a lot of these european
countries now they don't have the death penalty i didn't realize that we should
still have the death
penalty i don't think so you don't think so at all i i i don't think eye for an
eye is the thing do you
think i think it's uh it's cruel not even if like it's a mass shooter oh yeah
yeah that for sure
so what are you talking about exactly i just changed my mind that's why i
wouldn't be a good
politician well no that's why i would change so quickly i just think i stand
for you know i mean
strict borders and somebody yellow yeah uh i stand for strict borders and uh
heavy build building a
wall heckles who's gonna build the wall dude you're right about that no wall
what that's a great
point that is actually what they're good at capital punishment has been
completely abolished in all
european countries except for belarus and russia shout out to belarus and russia
the latter of which
has a moratorium and has not carried out an execution since september 1996. if
you do heinous
crazy i think we gotta get you out but there's but there are some people that
are you know i mean
falsely accused of a crime and they're in death row okay how about this if you're
not falsely accused
if you're the one that's like yeah i i went to that thing and shot all those
people it's like well
yeah yeah then we're gonna get you hmm but isn't it more punishment being in a
cell your whole life
here's the debate we pay for it as taxpayers so you're like do you want to just
pay for them or
do you want to just get rid of them because he's killed so many people okay i'll
propose something
else there you go maybe for something else totally okay do quickly mm-hmm as
soon the next day you're
oh because right there's like thousands of people still on death row right
because we're paying all
the tax rights it's just no but you should torture them yeah oh yeah yeah a
week of torture a month
a month yeah or the seven days that you're you know supposed to be gone the
seven days
in the filipino law yeah yeah so look at that 24 2500 people are still on death
row they're just
chilling they're chilling it's not going to happen for most of them what kind
of torture would you
think should happen you know the one they did in game of thrones where they put
a mouse
yeah they just put a mouse on the belly that is so disgusting so it chews
through a bucket
a mouse of rats that you chew through the abdomen yeah okay you got there i got
there yeah it's that's
that would be unbelievably bad to me a rat chewing through your stomach isn't
that bad how about this
one how about we put you down at the bottom of a well and we just lower a
little bit of water down
there every day just a little bit of water every day what does that do it keeps
you alive you just
drink because you're going to go nuts oh down the well yeah you're going to go
how long can you live
with just water a while a pretty long time yeah yeah until how long can you
live on just water
i gotta tell it is longer it's a long time but it's not two to three months it's
pretty good though
two to three months but think about that that's a sleep you eat your fingernails
you can eat your
whole body if you wanted to yeah or if that well if other people have used it
because i thought about
this during like in um silence of the lambs you know how that late such a good
movie great movie
remember she she looked at the walls and there were nails i would eat those a
metal what is that how
painful the brazen bull oh right to slow and truly agonizing death the person
inside the device was
engineered to convert the screams of suffering victims into sounds that were
eerily similar to the
bellowing of a bull so you're stuck inside the bellowing bull how about this
brazen bull
that's what it's called you take a man a man who's like completely like like
you know an alpha male
right he's oh that's crazy that's how jesus died they cooked him inside of a
bowl and they organized the
horn to just
that's how they know dinner served what about for men cut off their penis cut
off their penis no you
just they just get like fisted i'm gonna take no i'm gonna take you a further
you you you get a
surgeon uh-huh you take a man you give them all female parts right and then you
have you charge a
cover oh wow yeah you're right you can make some money this is pretty expensive
it's no because
you're gonna make it back in somebody yeah but you're gonna make the money back
by the cover
what are you charging how much uh what 500 bucks come on you gotta make it more
economical a thousand
dollars a hundred bucks a hundred dollars a hundred bucks and you can just it's
about volume at this
point oh yeah yeah yeah yeah just imagine you know what i mean yeah oh you know
i'm sorry for robbing
that bank what if we tied people to a helicopter and you got to pinata them oh
that's kind of wild
right i guess something better give it to me a water slide it's a water slide
it sounds fun because
you look you think you're gonna have a good time okay yeah you get in you have
your short your
favorite bathing suit on right right there's a guy up there going all right
have fun buddy yeah right
yeah okay you get you slide down but the gets thinner and thinner right slide
yeah slide and then
eventually you get stuck right right wow and then the water because water
starts up water you drowned in
it oh how do we get you unstuck for the next guy though you pile them on whoa
okay right so you're like
on top of each other right right right just like pat right right and then you
may maybe you can make
the fucking i forget it like a kebab that's what i was saying yeah like a big
kebab yeah yeah or just
make can you can you make the tube more of a tortilla kind of a thing oh you
mean some sort of what
it's like a tortilla shape no it's actual tortilla if you want them to be
edible oh so they slide down
naked you put them in a like a really thick tortilla where they could they're
not going to slip out of
right right and then once you have like 10 guys you tie it up right we eat them
you eat them you pick
them and you eat them this makes a lot of sense i don't know just throwing it
out there
i don't know i don't know what we're talking about right now what's the video i
sent you
or didn't i send you another oh yeah that one that one go back that one other
one
we saw we found out where doc is oh he's been training his breath hold is so
good yeah for
little tiny lungs yeah where does he hold it all yeah look at him we're not
scared buddy i think that
guy would up yeah i don't know why this went around the internet but man it's
just cute to watch him
just cute to watch him i don't know why yeah i would hire him just to swim in
my pool bud
yeah man yeah he wants to come on the show bring him on the show he lives in la
no okay we have to fly him out no he's always around here he lives in miami
he's always coming yeah let me ask you something did you go to coachella
do you guys even go to coachella i've never been have you been let's go next
year abso
let's go next year no i really need to go i've already gone once you have i
went in like the fourth
year or fifth year when it was brand new and then now we got to go next year no
matter who's playing
look at this you see justin bieber and uh and what's his name jaden smith
making out
yeah look at there humping and then he gives him a big kiss i love you baby
oh my god this clip c