Name: Fancy Squashes Beef with Bobby
Uploaded: 2024-05-15T16:00:31.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Fancy Squashes Beef with Bobby' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Fancy Squashes Beef with Bobby' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-15. Transcript available.

that's my final straw okay and before when i came here dude no no no just hear
me out
hear me out hear me out dude hear me out all right we're not even gonna air
this part we
are airing this i'm putting my foot down dude put it down i'm tired of being
true don't walk on
tread on me don't tread on me all right i have a statement all right so here's
my statement
i have a statement as well okay since the last podcast youtube macone i've been
thinking about
the thing ways you guys treat me you treat me like not you okay thank god i
wasn't even i didn't say
your name you looked over here so i thought it was me no i was i was looking
for backage affirmation
backage oh backage yeah yeah blockage or backage my back i've got your package
that's right yeah
you got my back now let me tell you something you scumbags listen up yeah all
of you want me too
no you're good okay yeah just those two go ahead no you go oh yeah listen up
man backing up and i'm
being i'm being i'm just being korean no no when i do no it's not right okay
okay i'm trying to
back obviously i am yeah always yeah right so um sometimes i feel black hmm i
do dude okay you
know what i mean al green what are you tonight are you black are you black or korean
tonight i'm
armenian armenian tonight well get him baby yeah i feel i have extra hair on my
legs and i play chess
at the park today yeah no you move your car yeah yeah all right so you know and
i'm being completely
honest okay and i'm being very mindful all right so you know the last time we
were together you ripped
on me a couple times without out of nowhere you two mccone saying that i'm a
bad actor which is really
interesting because i had directors come over to my house today and to pitch me
on a movie so many
different opportunities but um you know to each his own but what i'm going to
say to you is is that and
i came in here i was joking around like going i'm not going to do your movie
but because you slammed my
dick just not being real right i'm saying my dick is small and i have to spread
it around very funny
by the way it was and touche to you but what i'm going to say to you is i will
not work for you
as an actor this is this is the only me not for me no i'm not going to do
anything with with or for
or behind any front nothing only this pod because look i'm sure there's
contract signed well he works
for us exactly so um find somebody else i'm not doing it can i read my
statement no no i i don't care
what it is i will not do it i'm too busy it was a favor in the first place but
i only do favors for
people that have my package package baggage baggage people baggage boys and
there's no back there
let's hear your let me hear your statement yeah okay first of all uh i want to
say that no one
has forced me to read this and that i'm doing it on my free will okay i
recognize that lately my actions
on this show have not have been less than ideal i realized that making fun of
bobby is out of pocket
i was taught that in comedy you have to punch up but maybe i am a little too
high so from now on
i'll be switching teams aim a little lower and i'll direct my really funny jips
at santino thank you
okay what do you think that's a pretty good statement it's not good by the way
you come at me i'm gonna
rip you to shred right and also i know i'm scared literally i don't trust it oh
you literally i don't
do you think his wife wrote that someone else wrote that that doesn't sound
like you oh and also i want
a statement that you haven't written oh because that's that's you're you're
thinking about it he's
thinking about right what i'm saying is i want a statement from the heart not
premeditated not
premeditated i want you to be in the moment and really feel your feelings and
express yourself
right i don't think you're capable of doing that no you're not because you're
shallow of a man yeah
you're right you're a baja shelf do you know what that is no i got that at baja
fresh once yeah
a baja shelf is a thing in a swimming pool that's like the little shallow area
for little babies
to sit on oh i learned something new everything look at that that's a baja
shelf you are a baja
shelf dude you're a baja shelf for sure you're a baja shelf pal i'll take it no
you don't take it
okay i don't take it no yeah yeah bobby i love you you are the funniest person
i know
it's not working well like can we celebrate today what's going on oj died
that's not celebrating what are you talking about ding dong the witch is dead i'm
not celebrating
oh you are you think he didn't do it do what okay no no whoa whoa whoa whoa the
glove didn't fit
yeah well you must acquit that's a quit no um do what murder his wife
no i um a guy who has no idea yeah he 100 did that i mean right by the way the
devil got him
finally they tried to put him away in jail didn't work then he died of cancer
cancer he was 70 what he
was 74 or 76 pretty young that's relatively young yeah 76 yeah yeah i mean richard
lewis died at 76
and he didn't murder anybody so it's like i think i think richard died from
cancer and he died uh a
happy life he lived a happy wonderful beautiful life he was a happy man this
guy was tortured his entire
as rightfully so he was tortured until the end of his life right he couldn't
get away from what if he
didn't do it though who do you think did it could she could it could have been
like a double suicide
you know kato kalen would have been stabbed like what 10 000 times yeah she
could have went
no no he did it he did it he did it he's a bad guy he could have done it yeah
yeah that was the word
that's the worst part about i'm not i don't know anything i'm not a lawyer i'm
a dumb guy
why don't you have to prove who did do it then what what no whoa whoa you're
blowing my mind right
what how come you never have to prove who did it if you find out he didn't do
it how come then then
it goes away well he did it no but they proved that he didn't but he still did
it i know if he did it
why would you go like he did it why would i go oh let's find somebody else that
did it no but i'm saying
they they proved quote unquote that he didn't do it in in in in a court of law
he lost civil
but he won the legal right so legally they said he didn't kill her he didn't
legally yes he did
i know he did so who then if they say no who did it this is like who's on first
this is like the newest
yeah yeah i get what you're saying okay legally when it comes to murder murder
in the first degree
when it comes to it it said he didn't do it exactly so whom did he did
yeah i mean it's like you know and at the ultimate test if there's a heaven or
hell this is brilliant
right yeah right yeah that's where we'll find out oh right right right now if i
die and i go to heaven
and oj is just chilling right how shocked i would be there's so many people up
there that would be
like if you saw hitler yeah i'd be shocked bobby great to see you yeah yeah hitler
yeah yeah that'd be
doing up here yeah or i'm like chilling on a cloud right yeah and i look over
and it's like you know and
dahmer's chewing on something a human foot yeah yeah yeah but it's like oh we
oh we have machines that do
happy that you got in here yeah by the way hitler how funny if hitler's like
you're not going to
believe this there's a back door oh he got in he was able to see oh wow there's
a back door to heaven
you know what's so funny is even if you're a bad person in the afterlife like
hitler and one of these
guys i bet you they know enough people to get in still just like it's just like
hollywood in the real
world oh how about this if hitler was alive today i got one for you too if you
were throwing a house
part right and here you go oh oh oh yeah i'm coming i'm coming there's so much
music there's so much
you know man yeah hello hello hello hey it's me it's hitler oh oh how do we i
saw i heard this was a
party i could go to to have a good time yeah but who was the what do you mean
who how did i what's
weird is is that this is not like a normal party it's my my best friend who's
jewish it's a bar
mitzvah i loved you i know but wait no i just think i know but i just think
that your presence here it's
just kind of he's 12 13. are you gonna believe all the rumors about me and not
really get to know
me as a real man well i know i i've just read too much i think so you've read
too much about me i did
but what you believe all everything yes you read i'll tell you what you read
about i'll tell you
what um name one thing i did how about this yeah name six million things i did
wrong right i get what
you're doing yeah so anyway what would you do if he came i'd let him in sit him
down sit him down
you reprimand him for his crimes he's almost want to know what was going on in
his head right he's
almost too big to not let him in that's what i'm saying is that weird to say it's
like you know what
i mean he's a legend in the worst way possible right he's in he's a legend no
this is something
interesting he's so infamous you would want to talk to him first i don't know
if there's jesus christ
i mean in terms of like i just said hitler in terms of like you know i mean
historical
legendary yeah characters right hitler's one cleopatra has got to be one like
you wouldn't
say no cleopatra yeah no that's what i'm saying he's hot doing black what about
i need black people
in my like pol pot what you want the i want to understand no they don't know
pol pot genghis
khan but definitely gang i want to know definitely gang you want to go how are
you so fucking insane
right what's going how did this happen exactly