Name: KICKED OUT for Painted Nails?!
Uploaded: 2024-05-31T16:00:16.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'KICKED OUT for Painted Nails?!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-31. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'KICKED OUT for Painted Nails?!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-31. Transcript available.

they don't have water at homeschool yeah do you know how to work that yeah i
got it open it just
took me a second okay we'll take a drink out of it oh no no we'd love to see
you drink but i don't
what if you guys put something in it because you just said something funny you
just cracked the
seal you just saw the seal crack open i just want to make sure you're not a
narc okay i'll take a
sip take a sip take a sip don't hide it don't hide it oh that's really good did
he have a sip yeah i
think i got a little it looked like yeah yeah oh yeah look i really took a sip
yeah that's a good
bit dude you have painted nails yeah and you saw that sunday and you and you
complimented a sunday
you are you're just no no you're complimented go go yourself hey kid yourself
you know look at the
youtube go back to my youtube and go down look i want to show you that i'm not
kidding around about
that that's that's horrible about what's horrible painted nails i kicked
somebody out of my podcast
for that but he was a little more feminine than you that's why uh-huh here go
down a little bit
yeah there he is look the one with the fire uh-huh you see yeah i got him out
why because he painted his nails okay and what is that oh he was painting his
nails while he was
shooting no i just realized in the middle of the podcast he painted his nails i
told him to leave
okay yeah because it was it's feminine because it's beta yeah all right so
watch i'm doing it
are you getting rid of it no i'm paying it and what would you say oh if i saw
this no let's act
oh hypothetical do you see me painting my nails actually no this is a fucking
bit okay let me try
do you call the cops yeah i was trying to get to the numbers it's not illegal
anymore man it's not
illegal yeah yeah not anymore no what would you i want you to yell at me no i
wouldn't confront you
myself i would take a picture of you or something yeah yeah and then i would
have somebody find you
later that day whoa can we do a version of this whoa whoa can we do a version
of this where you do
yell what would you have somebody find him and do like have nail pit and polish
it over and take it
off yeah just like not a happy touch just say hello to him say just make sure
everything's okay with
him yeah yeah god man those israeli soldiers are wild they're wild i know they're
wild oh no i mean
don't associate me with that stuff oh that's right sorry about that oh that's
what you said sunday
but anyway uh no no no yeah yeah yeah you you what did i say on sunday about
that you love israel
i said i did not say that i said i said i said no i i told you that i said hey
listen i said i'm not
am i speaking something yeah i'm speaking in tongue right now you're telling me
that i'm not kosher
you're kosher you're telling me i'm not you you are not i'm not i'm haram oh so
i'm saying you're bad i'm bad
you're bad well you don't even know i realize what you're saying i'm a real
word yeah in arabic
yeah dude see yeah i speak in tongues bro you're good with arabic you've always
been good wait wait
wait forbidden forbidden haram means it's forbidden yeah it's like bad transfer
my speaking tongues but
he's not doing it
habibi very good bb habibi habibi means my love yeah habibi means my love no
but listen i'm no longer
israeli i'm a born i'm a born again armenian just so you know god bless you
were telling me sunday
about like you're saving yourself until you get married oh yeah yeah that's
nice that'll be a while
old school yeah why do you think huh it'll be a while huh it's possible yeah so
you've never had
a girlfriend no okay have you ever had girls that are friends no no no really i
try to stay away from
them right well that would make it tougher to have a girlfriend then too yeah
oh another thing you were
saying what's your idea of a perfect date if you're going to take her a lot on
a date a romantic date
no no no just a non-romantic date with a woman with a woman yeah i wouldn't do
it platonic day
right so give me give me the romantic one oh um i don't know i never thought
about i'm trying
okay here maton oh like buffalo wild wings no my time now get this out all
right i know you don't
like to play in a scenario yeah i know but we're gonna do it right now okay
okay so i'm just curious to
see how you would pick up on a girl so let's suppose you're at the glendale
mall oh galleria
you love it there right well with a lot of my people new people are over there
yeah yeah yeah
yeah right and so i'm over at the sephora you see me i'm just play a scenario
and i'm like i'm
i'm getting makeup right and you think and you want are you a man or a woman i'm
a woman dude i'm a
beautiful woman dude look at him hey see what are you doing so he gets nervous
so i want you to act
and i'll see what you would say okay are you ready beautiful woman beautiful
woman okay so not bobby
lee no i'm lucy lou oh no i wouldn't go up sandra oh does that this just sound
like asian people i'm
sorry yeah oh you don't like asians um all right man olivia munn yeah she's
happy yeah i don't know
just give it it doesn't matter i won't go margot robbie look i'm margot robbie
whatever sure all right
i'm margot robbie is that how she sounds yeah i don't know pretty accurate
pretty accurate right
hey this is go ahead let's see what you would say oh i'm trying to what am i
doing you're trying to ask me
out on a date man i wouldn't ask bobby no you're no i am margot robbie in this
scene oh so there's
margot robbie there i am so why are you the margot robbie because i'm acting
but why not him or the
asian guy no no because they're not on the show matan just do it oh just
interact with yeah yeah yeah
yeah hypothetical this is i'm margot robbie but what am i trying to do ask me
on a date do i know that
it's a celebrity or no yeah you know who she is also but um okay let me think
because then i'm
gonna approach it differently okay good good don't think too much don't think
too much just uh
instinct hello what's your name it's a good start very good stuff i'm you can't
i'm margot i'm margot
i'm margot robbie oh the celebrity wow wow what the that was crazy what are you
doing sir
i think maybe he had a muscle twister yeah yeah sir what was that why are you
coming your face what's wrong with well he's embarrassed about how he just
acted yeah yeah
okay i'll see you my eyes hurt a little bit okay okay i mean that's what love
feels like bud no you
that you missed the point of what i did you wouldn't be talking anymore elbow
oh let's get over again
i don't know all right okay hello what's your name margot
whoa dude well yeah maybe oh wow what are you doing dragging your legs yeah
he's gonna cry it's emotional are you crying yeah i felt really bad all right
water break you know
maybe you and i should talk for a bit let him yeah well we can let's have him
plug something and we can
he's here to plug something right no oh i'm doing a promo yeah oh yeah i'm
sponsored on this podcast do
your promo yeah do it i'm not understand i don't have a sponsor though i think
you do
no listen you just broke the table no how the do you really no yeah it's been
broken yeah how the
are you making money off of youtube um no i sell a course i guess that would be
my promo you can buy my
course i'm gonna teach you a lot of stuff how to get girls make money okay
teach you all different
stuff okay good yeah well those who can't you can make a lot of money with my
course oh you can but
you but you don't make a lot of money but other people can if they if they go
to your course really
it's only me you're the only one yeah that's signing up for your own course no
i'm the only they're
not making money they're not making okay so you make all the money from them no
because i'm
much does it cost to join the course because i'm telling them you can't hear
the mic right no we
can't hear it i can't hear it but i'm telling them that if they join the course
they're gonna make
money and then the course tells them that they need to start a course with my
affiliate link right
yeah how much oh that's a genius join it costs like a hundred hundred dollars
oh anybody can join
my course for a hundred dollars but also but also can i just say something yeah
they can't hear me
okay okay they can't hear you no they can't hear you all right so what i'm
saying is just you know
sunday when we're talking you're liberal right no i'm not liberal anyway anyway
um so what i was
gonna say is that you know so you tell them to to teach a course but you get 10
of what they do
right so it's a pyramid oh no well yeah actually yeah yeah that's the way to
make money oh no but
not a pyramid i i i let them start other courses i know but you're mike i know
okay but but what i'm
saying is is that you still when they're teaching other courses you just get a
percentage of their
course not 10 more than that well 25 whatever it is 20 whatever what am i oh
okay 30 30 30
that's fair not 80 that's insane but that's what i'm charging them okay go back
to you take your
mic off now so we're ever gonna hear you okay i'm gonna get out of here
why i was just thinking about tomorrow yeah yeah what's going on tomorrow i
want to know about the
course oh you want to know about my course i want to know about the course what
about it
that's smart yeah as a salesman that's smart you make me dig to find out i like
that try
selling you the course yeah sell me the course um how much money do you make i
make 22 000 a year
22 000 a year yeah are we interacting with you or you is it just a random
person
either way man take the ball and run with it i make 22 000 a year oh that's not
a lot of money
how are you affording rent well i mean i'm barely getting by but my my wife
makes a pretty fair amount
of money and she does also the wife is making more money than you you're a beta
and if you don't want
to be a beta then i'm gonna help you but if you want to continue with the wife
excuse me i'm his wife
yeah that's that's really i'm not gonna speak to her don't put your hand in
front of my face okay
thank you i'm not listening to women about business all right so wow wow wow
wow wow take your
fucking i'm a judge hold on hey babe i'm a judge babe babe babe will you stop
doing that too well
it's kind of helping yeah so listen how do we get like this yeah how do i make
enough money to leave
this fucking bitch oh sorry but you need to join my course money to leave i'm
gonna i'm gonna i'm
gonna teach you multiple different ways i'm gonna teach you crypto trading we
already do crypto we do
crypto hey but you're a fucking kid moron we do babe where'd you go baby where'd
he go where'd he
where did he go baby love yeah he's he's not he's gone he's gone okay that's
why you're not oh there
he is oh that's why you're not making any money to crypto because your wife is
involved so i gotta get
her out of my life is she telling you which ones to buy and sell she always has
yeah that's why you're
losing because it's a woman doesn't know when it's gonna go up and down demand
the man knows only men
can know that kind of only only alpha men and you're right now better so you
would lose money anyways but
okay can i just say something right now i can i can still see you with your
hand in front i can't see
okay i'm gonna let you know uh so anyway i own our house right honey oh honey
do i own our house yeah she
does yeah our house is 12.5 million dollars in beverly hills okay this guy
makes 20 000 a month
yeah right no no no he's got a great dick okay and i like to his dick thank you
baby yeah you're
welcome all right what do you think i just want to say this at least you live
at home with your
parents no i live in no you don't you do you live at home with your parents
with your brother
no 12.6 million dollar mansion in beverly hills oh it's bigger than mine
by one one by the point what's the address the address yeah what's the address
yeah what's the
address uh well you go there every day you must know oh that's the address oh
well i'm not gonna
give you my address yeah pacific i don't want to what if we just want to send
you like a card in
the mail yeah but i don't want a woman involved with the mail that's gonna end
really bad yeah yeah
women shouldn't touch me i've said that for years insane no i've said what you're
saying is insane
what i'm saying is insane yeah yeah no it's because i'm writing do you love
your mother yeah but she
doesn't get involved with business do you love your mother yeah you respect her
yeah respect women
if they know the place she doesn't get involved with the business in the house
right right what about outside the house what do you mean what is what she's
not gonna go outside
the house to do business is she allowed outside of the house well that's not up
to me
who's it up to well no that's not no no no not to god god god no because she's
in jail right now but
regardless god is in jail no no my mother is in jail right now what did she do
really yeah what did
she do so that would be up to the police what did she do what she do yeah i don't
think i can say it
am i allowed yeah you are because it was a really nasty felony why don't you
take a look at one of your
attorneys up there they might tell you if you're allowed to say it yeah you're
good man there you go
okay well she was gonna give me a car and she tried to steal it no i mentioned
it earlier she
i had my body gonna give me a car so i can learn to drive unfortunately they
got her
hmm grand theft auto no no no grand theft auto they just that's what they claim
but she didn't do it
hmm

KICKED OUT for Painted Nails?!

they don't have water at homeschool yeah do you know how to work that yeah i
got it open it just
took me a second okay we'll take a drink out of it oh no no we'd love to see
you drink but i don't
what if you guys put something in it because you just said something funny you
just cracked the
seal you just saw the seal crack open i just want to make sure you're not a
narc okay i'll take a
sip take a sip take a sip don't hide it don't hide it oh that's really good did
he have a sip yeah i
think i got a little it looked like yeah yeah oh yeah look i really took a sip
yeah that's a good
bit dude you have painted nails yeah and you saw that sunday and you and you
complimented a sunday
you are you're just no no you're complimented go go yourself hey kid yourself
you know look at the
youtube go back to my youtube and go down look i want to show you that i'm not
kidding around about
that that's that's horrible about what's horrible painted nails i kicked
somebody out of my podcast
for that but he was a little more feminine than you that's why uh-huh here go
down a little bit
yeah there he is look the one with the fire uh-huh you see yeah i got him out
why because he painted his nails okay and what is that oh he was painting his
nails while he was
shooting no i just realized in the middle of the podcast he painted his nails i
told him to leave
okay yeah because it was it's feminine because it's beta yeah all right so
watch i'm doing it
are you getting rid of it no i'm paying it and what would you say oh if i saw
this no let's act
oh hypothetical do you see me painting my nails actually no this is a fucking
bit okay let me try
do you call the cops yeah i was trying to get to the numbers it's not illegal
anymore man it's not
illegal yeah yeah not anymore no what would you i want you to yell at me no i
wouldn't confront you
myself i would take a picture of you or something yeah yeah and then i would
have somebody find you
later that day whoa can we do a version of this whoa whoa can we do a version
of this where you do
yell what would you have somebody find him and do like have nail pit and polish
it over and take it
off yeah just like not a happy touch just say hello to him say just make sure
everything's okay with
him yeah yeah god man those israeli soldiers are wild they're wild i know they're
wild oh no i mean
don't associate me with that stuff oh that's right sorry about that oh that's
what you said sunday
but anyway uh no no no yeah yeah yeah you you what did i say on sunday about
that you love israel
i said i did not say that i said i said i said no i i told you that i said hey
listen i said i'm not
am i speaking something yeah i'm speaking in tongue right now you're telling me
that i'm not kosher
you're kosher you're telling me i'm not you you are not i'm not i'm haram oh so
i'm saying you're bad i'm bad
you're bad well you don't even know i realize what you're saying i'm a real
word yeah in arabic
yeah dude see yeah i speak in tongues bro you're good with arabic you've always
been good wait wait
wait forbidden forbidden haram means it's forbidden yeah it's like bad transfer
my speaking tongues but
he's not doing it
habibi very good bb habibi habibi means my love yeah habibi means my love no
but listen i'm no longer
israeli i'm a born i'm a born again armenian just so you know god bless you
were telling me sunday
about like you're saving yourself until you get married oh yeah yeah that's
nice that'll be a while
old school yeah why do you think huh it'll be a while huh it's possible yeah so
you've never had
a girlfriend no okay have you ever had girls that are friends no no no really i
try to stay away from
them right well that would make it tougher to have a girlfriend then too yeah
oh another thing you were
saying what's your idea of a perfect date if you're going to take her a lot on
a date a romantic date
no no no just a non-romantic date with a woman with a woman yeah i wouldn't do
it platonic day
right so give me give me the romantic one oh um i don't know i never thought
about i'm trying
okay here maton oh like buffalo wild wings no my time now get this out all
right i know you don't
like to play in a scenario yeah i know but we're gonna do it right now okay
okay so i'm just curious to
see how you would pick up on a girl so let's suppose you're at the glendale
mall oh galleria
you love it there right well with a lot of my people new people are over there
yeah yeah yeah
yeah right and so i'm over at the sephora you see me i'm just play a scenario
and i'm like i'm
i'm getting makeup right and you think and you want are you a man or a woman i'm
a woman dude i'm a
beautiful woman dude look at him hey see what are you doing so he gets nervous
so i want you to act
and i'll see what you would say okay are you ready beautiful woman beautiful
woman okay so not bobby
lee no i'm lucy lou oh no i wouldn't go up sandra oh does that this just sound
like asian people i'm
sorry yeah oh you don't like asians um all right man olivia munn yeah she's
happy yeah i don't know
just give it it doesn't matter i won't go margot robbie look i'm margot robbie
whatever sure all right
i'm margot robbie is that how she sounds yeah i don't know pretty accurate
pretty accurate right
hey this is go ahead let's see what you would say oh i'm trying to what am i
doing you're trying to ask me
out on a date man i wouldn't ask bobby no you're no i am margot robbie in this
scene oh so there's
margot robbie there i am so why are you the margot robbie because i'm acting
but why not him or the
asian guy no no because they're not on the show matan just do it oh just
interact with yeah yeah yeah
yeah hypothetical this is i'm margot robbie but what am i trying to do ask me
on a date do i know that
it's a celebrity or no yeah you know who she is also but um okay let me think
because then i'm
gonna approach it differently okay good good don't think too much don't think
too much just uh
instinct hello what's your name it's a good start very good stuff i'm you can't
i'm margot i'm margot
i'm margot robbie oh the celebrity wow wow what the that was crazy what are you
doing sir
i think maybe he had a muscle twister yeah yeah sir what was that why are you
coming your face what's wrong with well he's embarrassed about how he just
acted yeah yeah
okay i'll see you my eyes hurt a little bit okay okay i mean that's what love
feels like bud no you
that you missed the point of what i did you wouldn't be talking anymore elbow
oh let's get over again
i don't know all right okay hello what's your name margot
whoa dude well yeah maybe oh wow what are you doing dragging your legs yeah
he's gonna cry it's emotional are you crying yeah i felt really bad all right
water break you know
maybe you and i should talk for a bit let him yeah well we can let's have him
plug something and we can
he's here to plug something right no oh i'm doing a promo yeah oh yeah i'm
sponsored on this podcast do
your promo yeah do it i'm not understand i don't have a sponsor though i think
you do
no listen you just broke the table no how the do you really no yeah it's been
broken yeah how the
are you making money off of youtube um no i sell a course i guess that would be
my promo you can buy my
course i'm gonna teach you a lot of stuff how to get girls make money okay
teach you all different
stuff okay good yeah well those who can't you can make a lot of money with my
course oh you can but
you but you don't make a lot of money but other people can if they if they go
to your course really
it's only me you're the only one yeah that's signing up for your own course no
i'm the only they're
not making money they're not making okay so you make all the money from them no
because i'm
much does it cost to join the course because i'm telling them you can't hear
the mic right no we
can't hear it i can't hear it but i'm telling them that if they join the course
they're gonna make
money and then the course tells them that they need to start a course with my
affiliate link right
yeah how much oh that's a genius join it costs like a hundred hundred dollars
oh anybody can join
my course for a hundred dollars but also but also can i just say something yeah
they can't hear me
okay okay they can't hear you no they can't hear you all right so what i'm
saying is just you know
sunday when we're talking you're liberal right no i'm not liberal anyway anyway
um so what i was
gonna say is that you know so you tell them to to teach a course but you get 10
of what they do
right so it's a pyramid oh no well yeah actually yeah yeah that's the way to
make money oh no but
not a pyramid i i i let them start other courses i know but you're mike i know
okay but but what i'm
saying is is that you still when they're teaching other courses you just get a
percentage of their
course not 10 more than that well 25 whatever it is 20 whatever what am i oh
okay 30 30 30
that's fair not 80 that's insane but that's what i'm charging them okay go back
to you take your
mic off now so we're ever gonna hear you okay i'm gonna get out of here
why i was just thinking about tomorrow yeah yeah what's going on tomorrow i
want to know about the
course oh you want to know about my course i want to know about the course what
about it
that's smart yeah as a salesman that's smart you make me dig to find out i like
that try
selling you the course yeah sell me the course um how much money do you make i
make 22 000 a year
22 000 a year yeah are we interacting with you or you is it just a random
person
either way man take the ball and run with it i make 22 000 a year oh that's not
a lot of money
how are you affording rent well i mean i'm barely getting by but my my wife
makes a pretty fair amount
of money and she does also the wife is making more money than you you're a beta
and if you don't want
to be a beta then i'm gonna help you but if you want to continue with the wife
excuse me i'm his wife
yeah that's that's really i'm not gonna speak to her don't put your hand in
front of my face okay
thank you i'm not listening to women about business all right so wow wow wow
wow wow take your
fucking i'm a judge hold on hey babe i'm a judge babe babe babe will you stop
doing that too well
it's kind of helping yeah so listen how do we get like this yeah how do i make
enough money to leave
this fucking bitch oh sorry but you need to join my course money to leave i'm
gonna i'm gonna i'm
gonna teach you multiple different ways i'm gonna teach you crypto trading we
already do crypto we do
crypto hey but you're a fucking kid moron we do babe where'd you go baby where'd
he go where'd he
where did he go baby love yeah he's he's not he's gone he's gone okay that's
why you're not oh there
he is oh that's why you're not making any money to crypto because your wife is
involved so i gotta get
her out of my life is she telling you which ones to buy and sell she always has
yeah that's why you're
losing because it's a woman doesn't know when it's gonna go up and down demand
the man knows only men
can know that kind of only only alpha men and you're right now better so you
would lose money anyways but
okay can i just say something right now i can i can still see you with your
hand in front i can't see
okay i'm gonna let you know uh so anyway i own our house right honey oh honey
do i own our house yeah she
does yeah our house is 12.5 million dollars in beverly hills okay this guy
makes 20 000 a month
yeah right no no no he's got a great dick okay and i like to his dick thank you
baby yeah you're
welcome all right what do you think i just want to say this at least you live
at home with your
parents no i live in no you don't you do you live at home with your parents
with your brother
no 12.6 million dollar mansion in beverly hills oh it's bigger than mine
by one one by the point what's the address the address yeah what's the address
yeah what's the
address uh well you go there every day you must know oh that's the address oh
well i'm not gonna
give 