Name: Andrew Santino Pitches NEW MOVIE Starring Bobby Lee
Uploaded: 2024-06-16T16:00:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Andrew Santino Pitches NEW MOVIE Starring Bobby Lee' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-06-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Andrew Santino Pitches NEW MOVIE Starring Bobby Lee' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-06-16. Transcript available.

I did those college, you know, those college gigs, you know what I mean?
And so back in the day when, you know, you're a nobody, right?
They go, well, you know, you're going to go to Muncie.
Oh, God.
But then you have a day off here, and then you have to take a bus.
Like, you're Greyhound.
Gotta catch a Greyhound.
To this place, right?
Three bucks.
But in between, we know this old family in this town who, like, they like to
bring in comics.
You can stay at their house.
You can stay at their house.
Right.
That's a nightmare.
80-year-old white people, right?
And then, like, lights out a tensor.
No way.
Right?
There's no internet then.
It's Get Out.
This was the original Get Out.
Cold as f***.
Oh, dude.
And I have, like, a blanket, like, one of those wooly, like, they smell like mothballs.
Yeah.
Right?
And the pillow is, like, made out of hay.
It's a hay pillow.
It's a hay pillow, dude.
Right?
And it's, like, and the slab, the, yeah.
The mattress is that thing that when William Wallace dies at the end of Braveheart,
that concrete.
Yeah.
It's a slab.
It's a slab.
They chopped his nuts off.
Right.
Yeah, yeah.
The bed that Lincoln died in was more comfortable than.
So I remember just laying there cold.
It's 10.30.
Yeah.
I'm not going to be able to sleep.
You know what I mean?
No.
Belly full of their leftovers.
Yeah.
And at six in the morning, you get a knock.
It's like, coffee is ready.
Come on down for breakfast.
Oh, it's a nightmare.
That's when you start spinning the chamber of the gun.
Yeah.
And I did that for years.
Hated it.
So God bless the fans.
Thank you so much.
My God.
Thank you so much.
More than anything.
But then also, it's like, don't go.
Don't go.
Why does that guy get this?
Right.
Yeah.
Right.
Oh, because I've been to hell and bad.
Yeah.
Dog.
And again.
And again.
And again.
And again.
And again.
And you know what you still have to deal with?
Little rats like this guy.
Little fucking rat brats.
You know what you think?
Rats.
You think you can get away from rats.
Well, you let them in.
But the rats are always there.
They find a way.
Sometimes the rats are the friends you make along with.
They find a way.
I just want a little reprieve from hostility.
All right.
Let's chat about some poon.
What's a poon?
Let go up.
This is a history lesson.
Look at this.
A 1942 Chinese.
Okay.
Here's why I'm pitching this to you.
I read this article.
And you want to do a movie.
And you want to star in a film.
You and I are going to make a movie together that Nicky and I wrote.
Yep.
But I said Bobby needs his own solo project.
His own vehicle.
In 1942, Chinese sailor Poon Lim.
What a name.
Was aboard the SS Ben LeMond when it was torpedoed by a German U-172 causing
the vessel to sink.
Lim found himself.
They should just say poon.
Poon found himself alone on a life raft without any means of propulsion.
Drifting aimlessly at sea.
He sustained himself by fishing, drinking bird blood, and even managed to kill
a shark using only a jug of water.
Bro, that's fucking.
Look at the last line.
Miraculously, poon survived for 133 days at sea before being rescued.
Look at poon's little boat that he made.
Dude, look at that boat.
Wow.
Life of poon.
The life of poon.
Dude, what an intricate boat.
Now, what does this say about poon in general?
Asians are survivors.
What does this say about poon in general?
Poon is the best.
Yeah.
That's what it means.
You're not getting better than poon, are you?
Poon is what drives this world.
Dude.
Poon.
Poon.
Poon.
Yeah.
Top shit.
I get what you're saying.
I love poon.
Poon's the top.
Is there anything better than poon?
Poon for prez.
Poon for prez.
This guy's the fucking man.
He killed a shark with a jug of water.
How did he do that?
I want you to play this movie and Nicky's going to write poon.
The story of poon.
I'll order the Ozempic.
And you know what the movie's called?
Oh, wait.
Stop, stop.
What did you just say?
You gotta stop.
What did he just say?
I might walk off.
Did he say, I'll order the Ozempic?
If we want him to play poon.
Jiminy, Christmas, Heavens, the Betsy's.
That's great.
That is funny shit.
It's not a fat poon.
It's a tight poon.
Whoa.
This is a tight poon.
This is a tight poon.
He's not on fire.
Hey, you got a tight poon?
And the movie is called Let's Get Some Poon.
That's so good.
Let's get poon.
Let's get poon.
Drowning in poon.
Well, what is it?
You know, like Get Shorty, Get Poon.
Drowning in poon is so good.
Drowning with poon.
No, because he doesn't drown.
He survives.
I like something.
Yeah, it's not good, McCone.
Get the, let's get poon.
I won't do an Asian accent.
Please.
You have to.
You have to.
He's Chinese.
It's 1942.
What do you think?
I'm going to write it in an Asian accent.
Give me a line then.
You know that on Final Draft,
you can actually write with an accent now.
Yeah.
Open on.
I'll tell you.
Open on.
Interior.
Exit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What's that line?
In the parallel universe.
Give me some lines.
Well, he's talking to nobody but himself.
This has to be like a Tom Hanks castaway.
It's all you.
It's an internal dialogue.
I smell Oscar for Bobby.
This is great.
On the boat, you talk like a Chinese guy, but out sea, you sound like Bobby Lee.
That's great.
Because you've been putting it on the whole time for these fucking people on
the boat.
How about this?
I'm going to America.
But then out there, you're like, how do I get fucking water?
Oh, thank God.
I'm finally alone.
My internal thoughts are in my voice.
Yeah.
God damn, motherfucker.
Yeah, what are you doing?
Right?
But out there, I'm like, oh my God.
That's what I just said.
But I just pissed you.
All right, so.
I'm a cure of the shark.
How do you kill the shark with the jug?
Well, so I'm in the boat, okay?
Yeah.
Well, let's fuck it.
I'll just do the accent.
Yeah, I do.
Let's do the accent.
We'll do it live.
I'm so hungry.
And I have no water, even though the water is all around me.
But it's salt.
We're bad for money.
Smart poon, though.
Right, right, right.
This is good poon.
Right.
But I have a jug.
What do I do with this?
Jam it in my butthole?
No.
For special pleasure?
No.
Poon.
No.
There's an opening here, right?
No, poon, poon, no.
Oh, no, poon, no, no, no.
Or I could kill a shark.
Okay.
How the fuck does this guy kill a shark?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
With a jug of-
A jug.
Oh, it's easy.
What you do is this.
Oh, it's a poon.
You nick yourself.
This is what I would do.
Nick myself a little.
Bleed.
Bleed into the water, right?
And as soon as that head comes out, bonk.
With a jug of water?
Are you going to kill a shark?
How the fuck did he do it then?
I don't know.
Poon is magical.
We know that.
Yeah.
How big of a shark was it?
Maybe it's a little, like, baby type.
How do you get bird blood?
I guarantee you, birds who are flying over the ocean oftentimes settle on boats
in motion.
They would probably settle on this little raft, and he would cover them up and
grab them
and break them and eat them.
Yeah, but is that a good substitute for water, bird blood?
I mean, it sounds like Poon did it.
Yeah.
He sustained himself by drinking bird blood.
You would think maybe.
What?
Bloody Poon.
Bloody Poon.
That's the name of the film.
But this is what's strange.
There are 133 days without water.
I thought you can only go a certain amount of days without water.
Three.
But he must be getting enough water from the bird blood?
Yeah, the bird blood, I think, is the key.
Or he had just a little bit of a jug of water and took a sip every, like,
fucking day.
Can you drink blood instead of water or something?
Can you drink blood instead of water?
I feel like we know the answer to that.
Well, yeah, we're in Hollywood.
Yeah.
I'm not talking about baby blood.
Blood and necessity for human life is ironically poisonous to drink.
Ironically?
No, it seems right on the money.
Why does it say ironically?
Do bird blood.
Oh, what does that say?
So medical experts warn you get very sick from drinking it every day and fight
a number of infections.
One reason blood is dangerous.
Yeah, bird blood, though.
Bird blood.
I want to know about bird blood.
Yeah, if you're starving, you're dehydrated.
Holy shit.
No, what does it say?
People have drunk turtle blood in order to survive the blood of a snake.
There's risk of pathogen.
Animal blood is not going to prolong your life.
Extremely high in iron.
It'll poison you at some point.
Well, Poon lasted 133 days.
Wow.
Amazing.
But how did he know that?
No, I think this was just him guessing.
He was trial and error.
Oh, right, right.
100%.
Poon Lim, there he is.
Zoom in, does it say anything else?
He holds the Guinness Book of World Records for longest time adrift at sea
alone.
That's incredible.
He used a water jug as a club to subdue the thrashing shark.
No, he hit it hard.
He was a 25-year-old seaman from the south coast of, Poon and Seaman.
Yeah.
Perfect.
South coast of China when he hopped on a British merchant ship, Cape Town,
South Africa, they
left, and a German U-boat sunk that motherfucker.
Wow.
You know how crazy that is that this is the only guy that lived?
And he died in Brooklyn.
Go down.
Zoom in.
Poon passed away.
Yeah, we did lose Poon.
He stepped foot in Brooklyn.
We all lost Poon at some point.
Yeah.
Poon passed away in Brooklyn in 91 at the age of 72.
Wow.
Wow.
That's a young, that's pretty young for a guy that fucking lived out at sea for
133 years.
I bet you he partied like an animal when he got home.
Is that him?
Yeah, there's Poon right there.
That's perfect.
That's you.
He kind of looks like me.
That's what I'm saying.
That's amazing.
That's Poon, my dog.
That's you.
You're Poon.
Yeah.
By the way, the fact that he could fashion a boat.
Hold on, hold on.
Yeah, that's you.
Wow.
Poon Lim.
Poon Lim.
Poon Lim, dude.
Wow.
Poon lives.
So will you let us write this story of you?
Yeah, I'd love to do it.
Because I think you could play, I mean, like, think of how much comedy you
could put in
this and contained comedy.
Can there be another boat?
We have to insert something else.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because even castaway packages were getting dry.
Margot Robbie's on the other boat.
No.
I'm just pitching stuff.
We could, yeah, we could.
Let's just think about it.
Let me think about who.
She's German.
Whoopi Goldberg.
Whoopi Goldberg is in the other boat.
Whoopi Goldberg is German.
Can we compromise?
No.
It's got to be Whoopi or Nob.
Not on this.
Well, there's Poon Lim.
Did Poon compromise?
Yeah, look at him.
Yeah, Poon, well, Poon does not compromise.
Yeah.
But how, can I, okay.
Who saved him?
A boat finally came along, I'm sure.
You know, after a boat is attacked, he was nearing land as the color of the sea.
It depends on who, though.
It's like, if it's Germany.
On April 5th.
They're like, fuck.
April 5th, three Brazilian fishermen found him nine miles off the coast of-
I love Brazilians.
They're so nice.
They're the nice.
They're so nice.
They're so nice Brazilians.
Oh, he loses weight during the-
It could be like a transformation thing.
Like, at the beginning, you look like you do now.
You won't let it go.
And then by the end, it could, like, help, like, visually show the audience
your transformation.
From a directorial standpoint, it does make sense.
He lost 20 pounds.
It's not that much.
He's gonna need to lose a little bit.
That's what Tom Hanks did, right?
He waited a year or something.
He shot one part for Cast Away.
You're talking about Philadelphia.
Different movie.
Yeah.
Same themes.
Same, yeah, same-
Poon and AIDS just don't mix.
No, they don't.
Yeah, they don't.
We don't want to insert that in this movie.
Yeah, enough of your jokes, man.
Killing it.
I'm literally tired of them.
That's the last one.
You're a little sly.
I don't like it.
So, it took him two weeks in a Brazilian hospital.
So, maybe we rescue you halfway through the film.
Maybe the nurses have bubble butts.
Well, they're in Brazil.
Okay, good.
Yeah, I love that.
Okay, good.
By the way-
Texting, maybe?
Maybe the movie is this.
At a ceremony at the Siemens Church Institute of New York and New Jersey,
his citation says that
Poon Lim displayed exceptional courage and fortitude.
What if they nursed him back to health with tang?
Yes.
Yes.
With tang, yeah.
That's the only way to get Poon back in it.
With a bunch of tangs.
How long were you thinking about that joke?
Was it two minutes?
I wrote it before I came here.
I sent him this article already.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
That was really good.
I said, step up, dude.
That's really good.
And honestly, no one had ever survived that long at sea, not even close, and no
one will
ever break the record, obviously.
But think about that.
Oh, the writer stated in Lim's Ordeal was used in the novel, My Star's Destination.
Yeah, but that's still, we still could-
Intellectual property.
Three Mexican sailors floated for 10 months from 05 to 06, the Pacific Ocean,
on a disabled
fishing boat.
Wow.
Mexicans are the most resilient people on Earth.
Amazing.
You know what happened with Spanish people?
You guys would have sunk.
You would have fucked each other and sunk.
You would have conquistador to each other.
Yeah, you would have conquistador to each other.
We just gave them some mirrors, and they gave us the country.
Oh, my God.
This guy's un-fucking-looking.
This guy's so fucking-
So arrogant.
I hate it.
A fisherman from El Salvador was apparently lost for 439 days floating from
Mexico to the Marshall
Islands on a raft.
That's the craziest shit when they just get on a raft and hope it goes the
right way.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
Like, can you imagine?
I can't.
Jose Salvador Alvarena, a fisherman who found, right, this is the guy that went
to the Marshall
Islands.
He survived on a diet of raw fish, turtle, small bird, sharks, and rainwater.
This makes sense.
Yeah, that I get.
Or people of the constellation, like back in the natives, back in the, you know,
look at
the sky to see where they are.
I mean, we still do that kind of today.
We do?
I don't.
We use, we use star mapping.
We still do star mapping.
Yeah, but you don't personally.
How do you think I get around?
Oh, really?
Do you think I use Google fucking maps?
I don't trust that shit.
It's a little Tokyo and you look up or you're looking around.
I'm looking up the whole town.
Uh-oh.
The cop's like, were you on your phone?
I was like, look at us scaring up.
Staring up the whole fucking time.
That's why they have moon roofs.
Oh, I see.
Left on the braya.
Left on the braya.

Andrew Santino Pitches NEW MOVIE Starring Bobby Lee

I did those college, you know, those college gigs, you know what I mean?
And so back in the day when, you know, you're a nobody, right?
They go, well, you know, you're going to go to Muncie.
Oh, God.
But then you have a day off here, and then you have to take a bus.
Like, you're Greyhound.
Gotta catch a Greyhound.
To this place, right?
Three bucks.
But in between, we know this old family in this town who, like, they like to
bring in comics.
You can stay at their house.
You can stay at their house.
Right.
That's a nightmare.
80-year-old white people, right?
And then, like, lights out a tensor.
No way.
Right?
There's no internet then.
It's Get Out.
This was the original Get Out.
Cold as f***.
Oh, dude.
And I have, like, a blanket, like, one of those wooly, like, they smell like mothballs.
Yeah.
Right?
And the pillow is, like, made out of hay.
It's a hay pillow.
It's a hay pillow, dude.
Right?
And it's, like, and the slab, the, yeah.
The mattress is that thing that when William Wallace dies at the end of Braveheart,
that concrete.
Yeah.
It's a slab.
It's a slab.
They chopped his nuts off.
Right.
Yeah, yeah.
The bed that Lincoln died in was more comfortable than.
So I remember just laying there cold.
It's 10.30.
Yeah.
I'm not going to be able to sleep.
You know what I mean?
No.
Belly full of their leftovers.
Yeah.
And at six in the morning, you get a knock.
It's like, coffee is ready.
Come on down for breakfast.
Oh, it's a nightmare.
That's when you start spinning the chamber of the gun.
Yeah.
And I did that for years.
Hated it.
So God bless the fans.
Thank you so much.
My God.
Thank you so much.
More than anything.
But then also, it's like, don't go.
Don't go.
Why does that guy get this?
Right.
Yeah.
Right.
Oh, because I've been to hell and bad.
Yeah.
Dog.
And again.
And again.
And again.
And again.
And again.
And you know what you still have to deal with?
Little rats like this guy.
Little fucking rat brats.
You know what you think?
Rats.
You think you can get away from rats.
Well, you let them in.
But the rats are always there.
They find a way.
Sometimes the rats are the friends you make along with.
They find a way.
I just want a little reprieve from hostility.
All right.
Let's chat about some poon.
What's a poon?
Let go up.
This is a history lesson.
Look at this.
A 1942 Chinese.
Okay.
Here's why I'm pitching this to you.
I read this article.
And you want to do a movie.
And you want to star in a film.
You and I are going to make a movie together that Nicky and I wrote.
Yep.
But I said Bobby needs his own solo project.
His own vehicle.
In 1942, Chinese sailor Poon Lim.
What a name.
Was aboard the SS Ben LeMond when it was torpedoed by a German U-172 causing
the vessel to sink.
Lim found himself.
They should just say poon.
Poon found himself alone on a life raft without any means of propulsion.
Drifting aimlessly at sea.
He sustained himself by fishing, drinking bird blood, and even managed to kill
a shark using only a jug of water.
Bro, that's fucking.
Look at the last line.
Miraculously, poon survived for 133 days at sea before being rescued.
Look at poon's little boat that he made.
Dude, look at that boat.
Wow.
Life of poon.
The life of poon.
Dude, what an intricate boat.
Now, what does this say about poon in general?
Asians are survivors.
What does this say about poon in general?
Poon is the best.
Yeah.
That's what it means.
You're not getting better than poon, are you?
Poon is what drives this world.
Dude.
Poon.
Poon.
Poon.
Yeah.
Top shit.
I get what you're saying.
I love poon.
Poon's the top.
Is there anything better than poon?
Poon for prez.
Poon for prez.
This guy's the fucking man.
He killed a shark with a jug of water.
How did he do that?
I want you to play this movie and Nicky's going to write poon.
The story of poon.
I'll order the Ozempic.
And you know what the movie's called?
Oh, wait.
Stop, stop.
What did you just say?
You gotta stop.
What did he just say?
I might walk off.
Did he say, I'll order the Ozempic?
If we want him to play poon.
Jiminy, Christmas, Heavens, the Betsy's.
That's great.
That is funny shit.
It's not a fat poon.
It's a tight poon.
Whoa.
This is a tight poon.
This is a tight poon.
He's not on fire.
Hey, you got a tight poon?
And the movie is called Let's Get Some Poon.
That's so good.
Let's get poon.
Let's get poon.
Drowning in poon.
Well, what is it?
You know, like Get Shorty, Get Poon.
Drowning in poon is so good.
Drowning with poon.
No, because he doesn't drown.
He survives.
I like something.
Yeah, it's not good, McCone.
Get the, let's get poon.
I won't do an Asian accent.
Please.
You have to.
You have to.
He's Chinese.
It's 1942.
What do you think?
I'm going to write it in an Asian accent.
Give me a line then.
You know that on Final Draft,
you can actually write with an accent now.
Yeah.
Open on.
I'll tell you.
Open on.
Interior.
Exit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What's that line?
In the parallel universe.
Give me some lines.
Well, he's talking to nobody but himself.
This has to be like a Tom Hanks castaway.
It's all you.
It's an internal dialogue.
I smell Oscar for Bobby.
This is great.
On the boat, you talk like a Chinese guy, but out sea, you sound like Bobby Lee.
That's great.
Because you've been putting it on the whole time for these fucking people on
the boat.
How about this?
I'm going to America.
But then out there, you're like, how do I get fucking water?
Oh, thank God.
I'm finally alone.
My internal thoughts are in my voice.
Yeah.
God damn, motherfucker.
Yeah, what are you doing?
Right?
But out there, I'm like, oh my God.
That's what I just said.
But I just pissed you.
All right, so.
I'm a cure of the shark.
How do you kill the shark with the jug?
Well, so I'm in the boat, okay?
Yeah.
Well, let's fuck it.
I'll just do the accent.
Yeah, I do.
Let's do the accent.
We'll do it live.
I'm so hungry.
And I have no water, even though the water is all around me.
But it's salt.
We're bad for money.
Smart poon, though.
Right, right, right.
This is good poon.
Right.
But I have a jug.
What do I do with this?
Jam it in my butthole?
No.
For special pleasure?
No.
Poon.
No.
There's an opening here, right?
No, poon, poon, no.
Oh, no, poon, no, no, no.
Or I could kill a shark.
Okay.
How the fuck does this guy kill a shark?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
With a jug of-
A jug.
Oh, it's easy.
What you do is this.
Oh, it's a poon.
You nick yourself.
This is what I would do.
Nick myself a little.
Bleed.
Bleed into the water, right?
And as soon as that head comes out, bonk.
With a jug of water?
Are you going to kill a shark?
How the fuck did he do it then?
I don't know.
Poon is magical.
We know that.
Yeah.
How big of a shark was it?
Maybe it's a little, like, baby type.
How do you get bird blood?
I guarantee you, birds who are flying over the ocean oftentimes settle on boats
in motion.
They would probably settle on this little raft, and he would cover them up and
grab them
and break them and eat them.
Yeah, but is that a good substitute for water, bird blood?
I mean, it sounds like Poon did it.
Yeah.
He sustained himself by drinking bird blood.
You would think maybe.
What?
Bloody Poon.
Bloody Poon.
That's the name of the film.
But this is what's strange.
There are 133 days without water.
I thought you can only go a certain amount of days without water.
Three.
But he must be getting enough water from the bird blood?
Yeah, the bird blood, I think, is the key.
Or he had just a little bit of a jug of water and took a sip every, like,
fucking day.
Can you drink blood instead of water or something?
Can you drink blood instead of water?
I feel like we know the answer to that.
Well, yeah, we're in Hollywood.
Yeah.
I'm not talking about baby blood.
Blood and necessity for human life is ironically poisonous to drink.
Ironically?
No, it seems right on the money.
Why does it say ironically?
Do bird blood.
Oh, what does that say?
So medical experts warn you get very sick from drinking it every day and fight
a number of infections.
One reason blood is dangerous.
Yeah, bird blood, though.
Bird blood.
I want to know about bird blood.
Yeah, if you're starving, you're dehydrated.
Holy shit.
No, what does it say?
People have drunk turtle blood in order to survive the blood of a snake.
There's risk of pathogen.
Animal blood is not going to prolong your life.
Extremely high in iron.
It'll poison you at some point.
Well, Poon lasted 133 days.
Wow.
Amazing.
But how did he know that?
No, I think this was just him guessing.
He was trial and error.
Oh, right, right.
100%.
Poon Lim, there he is.
Zoom in, does it say anything else?
He holds the Guinness Book of World Records for longest time adrift at sea
alone.
That's incredible.
He used a water jug as a club to subdue the thrashing shark.
No, he hit it hard.
He was a 25-year-old seaman from the south coast of, Poon and Seaman.
Yeah.
Perfect.
South coast of China when he hopped on a British merchant ship, Cape Town,
South Africa, they
left, and a German U-boat sunk that motherfucker.
Wow.
You know how crazy that is that this is the only guy that lived?
And he died in Brooklyn.
Go down.
Zoom in.
Poon passed away.
Yeah, we did lose Poon.
He stepped foot in Brooklyn.
We all lost Poon at some point.
Yeah.
Poon passed away in Brooklyn in 91 at the age of 72.
Wow.
Wow.
That's a young, that's pretty young for a guy that fucking lived out at sea for
133 years.
I bet you he partied like an animal when he got home.
Is that him?
Yeah, there's Poon right there.
That's perfect.
That's you.
He kind of looks like me.
That's what I'm saying.
That's amazing.
That's Poon, my dog.
That's you.
You're Poon.
Yeah.
By the way, the fact that he could fashion a boat.
Hold on, hold on.
Yeah, that's you.
Wow.
Poon Lim.
Poon Lim.
Poon Lim, dude.
Wow.
Poon lives.
So will you let us write this story of you?
Yeah, I'd love to do it.
Because I think you could play, I mean, like, think of how much comedy you
could put in
this and contained comedy.
Can there be another boat?
We have to insert something else.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because even castaway packages were getting dry.
Margot Robbie's on the other boat.
No.
I'm just pitching stuff.
We could, yeah, we could.
Let's just think about it.
Let me think about who.
She's German.
Whoopi Goldberg.
Whoopi Goldberg is in the other boat.
Whoopi Goldberg is German.
Can we compromise?
No.
It's got to be Whoopi or Nob.
Not on this.
Well, there's Poon Lim.
Did Poon compromise?
Yeah, look at him.
Yeah, Poon, well, Poon does not compromise.
Yeah.
But how, can I, okay.
Who saved him?
A boat finally came along, I'm sure.
You know, after a boat is attacked, he was nearing land as the color of the sea.
It depends on who, though.
It's like, if it's Germany.
On April 5th.
They're like, fuck.
April 5th, three Brazilian fishermen found him nine miles off the coast of-
I love Brazilians.
They're so nice.
They're the nice.
They're so nice.
They're so nice Brazilians.
Oh, he loses weight during the-
It could be like a transformation thing.
Like, at the beginning, you look like you do now.
You won't let it go.
And then by the end, it could, like, help, like, visually show the audience
your transformation.
From a directorial standpoint, it does make sense.
He lost 20 pounds.
It's not that much.
He's gonna need to lose a little bit.
That's what Tom Hanks did, right?
He waited a year or something.
He shot one part for Cast Away.
You're talking about Philadelphia.
Different movie.
Yeah.
Same themes.
Same, yeah, same-
Poon and AIDS just don't mix.
No, they don't.
Yeah, they don't.
We don't want to insert that in this movie.
Yeah, enough of your jokes, man.
Killing it.
I'm literally tired of them.
That's the last one.
You're a little sly.
I don't like it.
So, it took him two weeks in a Brazilian hospital.
So, maybe we rescue you halfway through the film.
Maybe the nurses have bubble butts.
Well, they're in Brazil.
Okay, good.
Yeah, I love that.
Okay, good.
By the way-
Texting, maybe?
Maybe the movie is this.
At a ceremony at the Siemens Church Institute of New York