Name: Spa Day with Bobby Lee
Uploaded: 2024-06-28T16:00:17.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Spa Day with Bobby Lee' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-06-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Spa Day with Bobby Lee' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-06-28. Transcript available.

Like, I have been gardening.
What?
Yeah, I've been gardening.
What are you gardening, babe?
I'm, like, right now I'm...
Does my little yellow man have a green thumb?
Yeah, don't call me that.
What's yellow?
What is yellow?
Don't call me a green.
If you mix yellow and green, what color is it?
No, I just, the green thumb...
What color is yellow and green?
Not the yellow part.
What?
I have a problem with the green thumb, not the yellow part.
Why? You have a green thumb.
Okay, anyway, I've been growing catnip.
You've been growing catnip?
Yeah.
In your yard?
No, outside of my, yeah, my front yard.
How do you grow catnip?
Is it a hard thing to grow?
Available to buy and plant at any time, sunny and well-drained large pot.
Yeah, so I've been getting, I got the pot, I got the soil.
It's weed for cats, right?
Yeah, yeah, they love it, right?
Wow.
So I've been growing it, right?
Right now there's, like, only nine little pieces that stuck out.
Okay.
You know what I mean?
So there's, like, only nine little grass hairs are sticking out.
But I just planted it a week ago.
Yeah, anyway...
So you grow the catnip?
Yeah, but I experimented and I put Diet Coke in, like, a little piece of...
See if that would work.
It doesn't work.
No, it doesn't, yeah, typically not.
That's my point, though.
I don't know why you even brought that up.
What was that?
Was it?
No, I just, I experiment.
You're experimenting.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And you're trying.
I try.
It doesn't work.
I like you doing this now.
It's water.
And I'll tell you why.
I'm going to now go to carrots and other things.
Carrots is probably pretty easy to do.
I think you could do carrots.
Yeah, yeah.
And the reason why is because of this movie.
I said, it's fine.
What movie?
It's fuck, I don't know.
It just fucking, oh, I know what it is.
Perfect Days.
Perfect Days.
Vim Vinders.
So this got you into, this got you into gardening.
You've now got a green thumb.
Oh, this looks, this must be really good.
This is about a little Asian guy who gardens?
No, he's a janitor.
You saw it?
Yeah.
It's a beautiful film, huh?
It's just a beautiful film.
It's a film of, just give me a second.
Yeah, we are.
Okay.
I want to say, when I was a young man, I had nothing.
Really, hi, hello.
I don't know about that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You actually had a pretty substantial amount.
Who?
You, you grew up in a fucking country club.
No, no, no, no.
What I'm saying in my early 20s.
Okay.
Please, I mean, I'm just trying to be, what you're doing right.
Be specific.
In high school, you definitely had something.
What you're doing right now is not good.
You're a rich drug addict.
Hyena?
Hyena again?
That's enough, Carlos.
Enough of that.
It's not funny.
Okay.
All right, go ahead.
So anyway, in order for me to be happy is I had to look at the little things in
life,
right, and be mindful about the things around me and find joy.
And those things.
Right.
Like, for instance, I've said this before.
I would work at this restaurant and it would be like, you know, a breakfast
place.
I would, I'd be slammed.
It was in the cove.
I would sit on the edge of the cove and watch the seals and the oceans.
And that would give me joy.
Just the simplicity of watching nature and the wind and all that stuff.
And I had no money, no pussy, nothing.
Okay.
And then since I was doing standup, you get away from that, right?
And you want, you know what I mean?
Dopamine hits.
And you want to get to the next level and all these things that fix you, that
thinks
you're going to fix, right?
But then this, I saw this movie.
I was like, it brought me back to those days.
So this, this guy's a gardener, right?
And he, not janitor.
I mean, he's a janitor, right?
And it's every day he just shows up, goes, cleans toilets.
But he looks at little things in life, like, you know what I mean?
The wind blowing through the trees, right?
Or like, you know what I mean?
People just, homeless people.
I just, and he finds little things and he finds joy in those things.
And it's like, I, when I saw that, I was like, oh shit, I think that's what's
missing
in my life.
That's all.
If he was an Asian, would you have liked this as much?
No, no.
Yeah, I was just going to say, that's all of it.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's most of it.
That's most of it.
Janitor.
No, no, no.
In America.
Two thumbs down, dude.
Two thumbs down.
Yeah, yeah.
I'd pick it, fucking the theater.
Fuck that movie.
If this movie was called Tough Times and it was just about a janitor and-
Fuck you, janitor.
You know what I mean?
Is that him washing at the sink?
No, he's at a spa.
That's a spa?
That's how, you remember?
Yeah, that's, that's, stop, stop, stop.
Look at me right now, dude.
Thank you.
Look at me right now, dude.
You're not looking at me, dude.
I've been to a spa.
It doesn't look like that.
No, no, no.
Stop, stop, stop, stop.
I've asked you for like five years-
To sit on a bucket and wash my balls?
No, shut the fuck up, man.
That guy's washing his balls on a bucket.
I know.
I've asked-
The only reason this works with you guys is because your penises don't touch
that bucket.
Your balls don't touch that bucket.
You're sitting on a bucket.
He's sitting wide butthole on that bucket.
Look at those little-
That was me last night.
Look at those little cock washers.
And so what?
You pull up to it and you wash your penis there?
Is that what those things are?
It's not just a penis.
Can I just finish what I was going to say?
And then we can go back to it.
I want to know what the cock washer is.
What is that?
It's not a cock washer.
Just stop, okay?
Zoom in on that little cock washer.
So five years ago, Andrew-
Yeah.
I keep saying, let's go to the Korean spa.
I go every night.
You won't go.
I know.
Right?
And so if you go with me, that's what the shower, like the baths.
Well, this isn't going to make me want to go.
It's the best.
You get really-
What you do is you get the little plastic stool.
You sit down.
Then you see that bucket underneath him?
Yeah.
Sometimes it's a bigger bucket, but it's plastic.
Right.
And you get a towel.
You take the soap, right?
And you know what I mean?
You get the fucking suds going.
You cover the bucket with a towel?
Why?
You just sit raw ass on a fucking bucket?
No, that's not the bucket he's seeing.
The blue thing.
There's one right by this foot, right?
There's one right there, that white thing.
What's he- he's sitting on a blue thing.
Do you sit on one of those?
Yeah, that's a seat.
It's a plastic seat.
But he's raw ass on it.
He's open raw ass on it.
That's what you do on it.
No, I'm good.
Okay.
Well, then you're not good.
Why do I want to sit on where some other guy's asshole was spread out washing?
What I like to do is I like to spray it down a little bit.
That's not going to do it.
Anyway-
Go ahead.
I don't want to go.
And by the way, then you stand up and your dick is in mirror.
It's like a weird- it's just a weird- this is a weird sexual-
It's not.
I don't like it.
Those little cock washers, I don't like.
We have to do it.
Tell me something.
You bathe sitting- this is what you do.
You take a shower sitting down.
So what I do is I-
Do you know how many people that are paralyzed that would dream about taking a
standing up
shower?
That's a good-
This is ableist.
This is mocking the disabled.
And I won't stand for this kind of shit.
Go ahead.
Thank you.
Back to me.
When I'm sitting there with a towel, with the suds, I get every piece of my
body.
I scrub, I scrub, right?
And I take the- you know what I mean?
There's a bucket.
It's full of water.
I rinse it.
I do it again.
Then I'll dump the bucket, put fresh water in it, put it over my body, right?
It's more of a- it's kind of like a bath shower.
It's a therapeutic bath.
Yeah.
And it's- you can turn to the guy next to you and go, how was your day?
I don't want to-
What did you golf today?
I don't want to talk to someone from washing my cock.
What did you golf today?
I didn't golf today.
How many golfers did you encounter there?
No, I just-
Well, it's in Korea town, so it's a lot.
Yeah.
By the way, it's connected to a driving range.
Yeah.
Well, I was just saying it because I'm making it seem like he was next to me.
I would never go.
Here.
Here's me.
Go ahead.
Yeah.
What'd you golf today?
Hey, I'm washing my cock.
Don't-
Yeah, yeah.
Talk to me when washing my balls.
That's insane.
Yeah.
I don't want to have a conversation while I'm washing my balls.
Although there should be a rule.
Last night, I was at the Wii Spa.
Okay?
I'm in the steam room.
It's packed for some reason.
There's a lot of black people last night, which I love.
The way you said it.
I love it.
Thank God for the steam.
I love it.
Right?
So I'm like in the steam room.
Then I see this tall Asian kid.
You just walk in there.
I keep tripping on black dicks.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah, yeah.
Pick that up, will you?
And this guy, I have two rules.
Can I tell you my two rules?
Where I don't like being recognized.
AA meetings?
Okay.
You're going to get recognized at AA meetings.
I know, but I don't like when they go, if they go after an AA meeting, I'm on
the road.
Like I just went to Portland.
I went to an AA meeting.
Yeah.
And people were like, hey, can I get a photo with you?
And I go, not at AA meeting.
I'll do it anywhere else but here.
Right.
That's a private time.
Yeah.
Because also it's like, I'm like one of many.
I don't feel-
I get that.
Okay.
So-
I get that.
Steam room is another one.
So last night, I'm at Wee Spa, right?
And I see this tall Asian guy, probably young, early 20s.
And he's completely naked.
And he goes, yo, like with his legs like this.
He goes, yo, like this.
Bobby Lee, like this.
Right?
And I was like, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill.
Chill it out, man.
Chill, chill, chill.
It drives me nuts.
They cut to, I'm taking a photo with him.
I don't know why.
I was like, all right, let's just do it real quick or whatever.
But like, my point is that those are two places.
If you ever see me there, don't ask for a photo.
But, but, but, you know, it makes his life.
Not when I'm naked in a steam room trying to relax.
Well, oh, ah, so yes.
Oh, ah, ha, ha.
This is my point.
What?
Why am I going to this place to do a cock washing here when I can go to a very
comfortable private place?
You're proving my point.
Because when I go to a spa, when I go to a spa and I get a massage and I go to
sit in the steam room,
there's like one other person in there.
Then I go in the hot tub, maybe one other guy.
And you know what we do?
We go like this.
That's it.
Little head nod, little acknowledgement.
Then we don't say a fucking word to each other.
Then I go in my little private stall and I wash my balls in my butthole with
nice soap and I take a hot shower.
And then I go up to my room and I go lay down.
Okay, this is what we're doing.
And that version of a spa to me is the one I like.
There's no one there and I don't have to talk to anybody.
I go there to get away from chit-chat.
You like the chit-chat.
No, I don't like the chit-chat.
You're afraid to admit it, but you like to chit-chat.
I don't like the chit-chat.
Your next special should be called chit-chat.
I don't like the chit-chat.
You do.
No, I don't.
McCone even said it.
You come up to his family and you chit-chat.
Yeah, yeah.
So here's what we're going to do.
You see someone on the street and you chit-chat.
I don't chit-chat.
You're a little chit-chat.
Stop doing that.
A little ching-chong chit-chat.
Oh, really?
Ching-chong chit-chat for the hip hat.
Hyena.
Stop it.
Fuck you.
This is what we're going to do.
Carlos, that's not funny.
That's not funny, that stuff.
This is what we're going to do.
And I think it's going to be good for the show.
All go to the spa?
No, the Wii Spa.
We'll all go?
Yes, we all go as a team.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Right?
Bring your baby.
I'm going to Andrew's spa.
No, no, no.
And then we're going to do the Bulgama room.
They have bulgogi in there?
No, not bulgogi.
No?
No.
There's a room there called the Bulgama room at Wii Spa.
Look it up.
Oh, that's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's the Bulgama room, okay?
Yeah.
So that's the Bulgama room.
It's 200.
Sometimes it's like 215 degrees.
206, it says.
Yeah, sometimes it's higher, right?
It's very hot.
So it's a sauna.
Yeah, it's a sauna.
Yeah, white people just call it sauna.
It's just a sauna.
What's the degree of a sauna?
Google it.
What's the average degree of a sauna?
Well, they have-
Of a dry sauna.
It depends on where you go.
I want to look at this.
You're really, really, really, really, really, really.
150, 175.
Right.
So the Bulgama takes it to the next level.
It's like, you know what I mean?
What do you mean?
It's not regular.
More sweat?
Yeah.
So I can smell more kimchi pouring out of your fucking clothes?
God, you're being so negative right now.
So basically what I'm saying is you go in there and most dudes walk in there
and they walk out.
But not us.
We sit.
We're going to sit.
Until someone dies.
No, no one dies.
No.
Nobody dies.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And that's the WeSpa Bulgama room, right?
I'll go in that.
We will?
Yeah.
And you're fully closed.
There's people doing hot yoga and all that stuff, right?
No, no, no, no.
People are doing yoga inside of the Bulgama, inside of there?
Sometimes, yeah.
Absolutely not.
Sit down.
Then you can tell them to stop.
I'll go sit down.
Okay, okay.
I don't want to play that.
And then look up the clay room.
The clay room at WeSpa.
Because Ari and I went to the Russian spa in New York and I fucking love it.
You got in the cold plunge.
Do you do cold plunge?
There's cold plunge here too.
You don't do it though, do you?
I do.
Go there with me and I'll show you the fucking my wise ways.
Okay, yeah, wow.
All right?
That's the clay room.
Not going in that either.
Yeah, you are.
Nope.
Yeah, and we're going to do that same exact thing.
All the bodies that lay in there?
You're going to use my shoulder as a pillow and we're going to be like that.
Dude, look how relaxed you and I lay there.
I would do it for the photo.
Yeah, it's fun.
So anyway, we go there, right?
Play room.
Hey.
Play room.
No.
Yeah.
Don't you think that would be a fun thing to do as a group?
Yeah.
We're going to do it.
Let's set a date now.
Do it.
All right?
Do it.
All right, can you guys do it Sunday during the day?
Yeah.
You have to bring your kid.
Which Sunday?
This Sunday during the day.
Oh, this Sunday I can't.
Well, then he's not going to do the movie.
Yeah, I'm not doing the movie.
I'm available.
How about this?
How about this?
No, honestly.
We'll do a family trip.
Monday night.
Okay.
Monday night, we do Wii Spa as a family.
I'll pay.
And then we can vlog it or whatever for the Patreon.
Well, they won't let us film in there, obviously.
And we can film all the way up to when we get naked, I think.
Sure.
Yeah.
And then it'll be a fun night, right?
And I guarantee you at the end of the night, we'll walk out of there and you're
going to
look me in the eyes and go, I get it.
I get why you go there.
I've been to a spa.
It's 24 hours.
It's not Russian.
It's Korean.
It's 24-7.
I like Russians.
It's 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
We got it.
You're selling us on it.
We got to go now.
There's a restaurant up there.
I'm not eating.
After fucking staring at your cock for an hour and a half?
You know what?
No.
I'm not going to be hungry.
I'll tell you that.
If anything, it'll be for a small meal.
Okay.
Maybe appetizers.
Let's move on then.
Let people eat there.
Shrimp?
Yeah, yeah.
With the little hats.
Anyway.
Are they there?
Yeah, they are there.
Asian women?
Oh, yeah.
Naked.
No.
See, that portion, we all get dressed.
The third floor where the Bulgama room is.
And then the first half of the thing, we go in the men's department.
Yeah.
We get naked there.
And I'll get you a locker far away.
You don't have to look at my genitals.
No, I've seen it a thousand.
It doesn't bite.
I know.
But you haven't seen it in the wild.
It's different.
It's different.
Smaller?
More claws.
Wow.
And fangs.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You have to see it in the wild.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Is that Bobby's dick?
Anyway, so next Monday night, we're going to do a Bulgama room.
Wee Spa experience.
Wee Spa experience.
Wee Spa experience.
Wee Spa experience.
Wee Spa experience.
Wee Spa experience.

Spa Day with Bobby Lee

Like, I have been gardening.
What?
Yeah, I've been gardening.
What are you gardening, babe?
I'm, like, right now I'm...
Does my little yellow man have a green thumb?
Yeah, don't call me that.
What's yellow?
What is yellow?
Don't call me a green.
If you mix yellow and green, what color is it?
No, I just, the green thumb...
What color is yellow and green?
Not the yellow part.
What?
I have a problem with the green thumb, not the yellow part.
Why? You have a green thumb.
Okay, anyway, I've been growing catnip.
You've been growing catnip?
Yeah.
In your yard?
No, outside of my, yeah, my front yard.
How do you grow catnip?
Is it a hard thing to grow?
Available to buy and plant at any time, sunny and well-drained large pot.
Yeah, so I've been getting, I got the pot, I got the soil.
It's weed for cats, right?
Yeah, yeah, they love it, right?
Wow.
So I've been growing it, right?
Right now there's, like, only nine little pieces that stuck out.
Okay.
You know what I mean?
So there's, like, only nine little grass hairs are sticking out.
But I just planted it a week ago.
Yeah, anyway...
So you grow the catnip?
Yeah, but I experimented and I put Diet Coke in, like, a little piece of...
See if that would work.
It doesn't work.
No, it doesn't, yeah, typically not.
That's my point, though.
I don't know why you even brought that up.
What was that?
Was it?
No, I just, I experiment.
You're experimenting.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And you're trying.
I try.
It doesn't work.
I like you doing this now.
It's water.
And I'll tell you why.
I'm going to now go to carrots and other things.
Carrots is probably pretty easy to do.
I think you could do carrots.
Yeah, yeah.
And the reason why is because of this movie.
I said, it's fine.
What movie?
It's fuck, I don't know.
It just fucking, oh, I know what it is.
Perfect Days.
Perfect Days.
Vim Vinders.
So this got you into, this got you into gardening.
You've now got a green thumb.
Oh, this looks, this must be really good.
This is about a little Asian guy who gardens?
No, he's a janitor.
You saw it?
Yeah.
It's a beautiful film, huh?
It's just a beautiful film.
It's a film of, just give me a second.
Yeah, we are.
Okay.
I want to say, when I was a young man, I had nothing.
Really, hi, hello.
I don't know about that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You actually had a pretty substantial amount.
Who?
You, you grew up in a fucking country club.
No, no, no, no.
What I'm saying in my early 20s.
Okay.
Please, I mean, I'm just trying to be, what you're doing right.
Be specific.
In high school, you definitely had something.
What you're doing right now is not good.
You're a rich drug addict.
Hyena?
Hyena again?
That's enough, Carlos.
Enough of that.
It's not funny.
Okay.
All right, go ahead.
So anyway, in order for me to be happy is I had to look at the little things in
life,
right, and be mindful about the things around me and find joy.
And those things.
Right.
Like, for instance, I've said this before.
I would work at this restaurant and it would be like, you know, a breakfast
place.
I would, I'd be slammed.
It was in the cove.
I would sit on the edge of the cove and watch the seals and the oceans.
And that would give me joy.
Just the simplicity of watching nature and the wind and all that stuff.
And I had no money, no pussy, nothing.
Okay.
And then since I was doing standup, you get away from that, right?
And you want, you know what I mean?
Dopamine hits.
And you want to get to the next level and all these things that fix you, that
thinks
you're going to fix, right?
But then this, I saw this movie.
I was like, it brought me back to those days.
So this, this guy's a gardener, right?
And he, not janitor.
I mean, he's a janitor, right?
And it's every day he just shows up, goes, cleans toilets.
But he looks at little things in life, like, you know what I mean?
The wind blowing through the trees, right?
Or like, you know what I mean?
People just, homeless people.
I just, and he finds little things and he finds joy in those things.
And it's like, I, when I saw that, I was like, oh shit, I think that's what's
missing
in my life.
That's all.
If he was an Asian, would you have liked this as much?
No, no.
Yeah, I was just going to say, that's all of it.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's most of it.
That's most of it.
Janitor.
No, no, no.
In America.
Two thumbs down, dude.
Two thumbs down.
Yeah, yeah.
I'd pick it, fucking the theater.
Fuck that movie.
If this movie was called Tough Times and it was just about a janitor and-
Fuck you, janitor.
You know what I mean?
Is that him washing at the sink?
No, he's at a spa.
That's a spa?
That's how, you remember?
Yeah, that's, that's, stop, stop, stop.
Look at me right now, dude.
Thank you.
Look at me right now, dude.
You're not looking at me, dude.
I've been to a spa.
It doesn't look like that.
No, no, no.
Stop, stop, stop, stop.
I've asked you for like five years-
To sit on a bucket and wash my balls?
No, shut the fuck up, man.
That guy's washing his balls on a bucket.
I know.
I've asked-
The only reason this works with you guys is because your penises don't touch
that bucket.
Your balls don't touch that bucket.
You're sitting on a bucket.
He's sitting wide butthole on that bucket.
Look at those little-
That was me last night.
Look at those little cock washers.
And so what?
You pull up to it and you wash your penis there?
Is that what those things are?
It's not just a penis.
Can I just finish what I was going to say?
And then we can go back to it.
I want to know what the cock washer is.
What is that?
It's not a cock washer.
Just stop, okay?
Zoom in on that little cock washer.
So five years ago, Andrew-
Yeah.
I keep saying, let's go to the Korean spa.
I go every night.
You won't go.
I know.
Right?
And so if you go with me, that's what the shower, like the baths.
Well, this isn't going to make me want to go.
It's the best.
You get really-
What you do is you get the little plastic stool.
You sit down.
Then you see that bucket underneath him?
Yeah.
Sometimes it's a bigger bucket, but it's plastic.
Right.
And you get a towel.
You take the soap, right?
And you know what I mean?
You get the fucking suds going.
You cover the bucket with a towel?
Why?
You just sit raw ass on a fucking bucket?
No, that's not the bucket he's seeing.
The blue thing.
There's one right by this foot, right?
There's one right there, that white thing.
What's he- he's sitting on a blue thing.
Do you sit on one of those?
Yeah, that's a seat.
It's a plastic seat.
But he's raw ass on it.
He's open raw ass on it.
That's what you do on it.
No, I'm good.
Okay.
Well, then you're not good.
Why do I want to sit on where some other guy's asshole was spread out washing?
What I like to do is I like to spray it down a little bit.
That's not going to do it.
Anyway-
Go ahead.
I don't want to go.
And by the way, then you stand up and your dick is in mirror.
It's like a weird- it's just a weird- this is a weird sexual-
It's not.
I don't like it.
Those little cock washers, I don't like.
We have to do it.
Tell me something.
You bathe sitting- this is what you do.
You take a shower sitting down.
So what I do is I-
Do you know how many people that are paralyzed that would dream about taking a
standing up
shower?
That's a good-
This is ableist.
This is mocking the disabled.
And I won't stand for this kind of shit.
Go ahead.
Thank you.
Back to me.
When I'm sitting there with a towel, with the suds, I get every piece of my
body.
I scrub, I scrub, right?
And I take the- you know what I mean?
There's a bucket.
It's full of water.
I rinse it.
I do it again.
Then I'll dump the bucket, put fresh water in it, put it over my body, right?
It's more of a- it's kind of like a bath shower.
It's a therapeutic bath.
Yeah.
And it's- you can turn to the guy next to you and go, how was your day?
I don't want to-
What did you golf today?
I don't want to talk to someone from washing my cock.
What did you golf today?
I didn't golf today.
How many golfers did you encounter there?
No, I just-
Well, it's in Korea town, so it's a lot.
Yeah.
By the way, it's connected to a driving range.
Yeah.
Well, I was just saying it because I'm making it seem like he was next to me.
I would never go.
Here.
Here's me.
Go ahead.
Yeah.
What'd you golf today?
Hey, I'm washing my cock.
Don't-
Yeah, yeah.
Talk to me when washing my balls.
That's insane.
Yeah.
I don't want to have a conversation while I'm washing my balls.
Although there should be a rule.
Last night, I was at the Wii Spa.
Okay?
I'm in the steam room.
It's packed for some reason.
There's a lot of black people last night, which I love.
The way you said it.
I love it.
Thank God for the steam.
I love it.
Right?
So I'm like in the steam room.
Then I see this tall Asian kid.
You just walk in there.
I keep tripping on black dicks.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah, yeah.
Pick that up, will you?
And this guy, I have two rules.
Can I tell you my two rules?
Where I don't like being recognized.
AA meetings?
Okay.
You're going to get recognized at AA meetings.
I know, but I don't like when they go, if they go after an AA meeting, I'm on
the road.
Like I just went to Portland.
I went to an AA meeting.
Yeah.
And people were like, hey, can I get a photo with you?
And I go, not at AA meeting.
I'll do it anywhere else but here.
Right.
That's a private time.
Yeah.
Because also it's like, I'm like one of many.
I don't feel-
I get that.
Okay.
So-
I get that.
Steam room is another one.
So last night, I'm at Wee Spa, right?
And I see this tall Asian guy, probably young, early 20s.
And he's completely naked.
And he goes, yo, like with his legs like this.
He goes, yo, like this.
Bobby Lee, like this.
Right?
And I was like, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill.
Chill it out, man.
Chill, chill, chill.
It drives me nuts.
They cut to, I'm taking a photo with him.
I don't know why.
I was like, all right, let's just do it real quick or whatever.
But like, my point is that those are two places.
If you ever see me there, don't ask for a photo.
But, but, but, you know, it makes his life.
Not when I'm naked in a steam room trying to relax.
Well, oh, ah, so yes.
Oh, ah, ha, ha.
This is my point.
What?
Why am I going to this place to do a cock washing here when I can go to a very
comfortable private place?
You're proving my point.
Because when I go to a spa, when I go to a spa and I get a massage and I go to
sit in the steam room,
there's like one other person in there.
Then I go in the hot tub, maybe one other guy.
And you know what we do?
We go like this.
That's it.
Little head nod, little acknowledgement.
Then we don't say a fucking word to each other.
Then I go in my little private stall and I wash my balls in my butthole with
nice soap and I take a hot shower.
And then I go up to my room and I go lay down.
Okay, this is what we're doing.
And that version of a spa to me is the one I like.
There's no one there and I don't have to talk to anybody.
I go there to get away from chit-chat.
You like the chit-chat.
No, I don't like the chit-chat.
You're afraid to admit it, but you like to chit-chat.
I don't like the chit-chat.
Your next special should be called chit-chat.
I don't like the chit-chat.
You do.
No, I don't.
McCone even said it.
You come up to his family and you chit-chat.
Yeah, yeah.
So here's what we're going to do.
You see someone on the street and you chit-chat.
I don't chit-chat.
You're a little chit-chat.
Stop doing that.
A little ching-chong chit-chat.
Oh, really?
Ching-chong chit-chat for the hip hat.
Hyena.
Stop it.
Fuck you.
This is what we're going to do.
Carlos, that's not funny.
That's not funny, that stuff.
This is what we're going to do.
And I think it's going to be good for the show.
All go to the spa?
No, the Wii Spa.
We'll all go?
Yes, we all go as a team.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Right?
Bring your baby.
I'm going to Andrew's spa.
No, no, no.
And then we're going to do the Bulgama room.
They have bulgogi in there?
No, not bulgogi.
No?
No.
There's a room there called the Bulgama room at Wii Spa.