Name: Bobby's New S**k Machine?!
Uploaded: 2024-07-17T15:58:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby's New S**k Machine?!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-07-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby's New S**k Machine?!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-07-17. Transcript available.

there's a new toy that i got right and i literally kiss it when i'm done using
it
i literally go thank you and i kiss and i put it to bed what what's the toy it's
just a new
apparatus right and it's so powerful and it's so beautiful it's a suck machine
it's beyond that
it's my girlfriend how much does her name is how much did it cost they're not i
i also i went online
and i bought like four of them because you know what happens is you break them
not just to break
them they always discontinue things and in my mind i'm like i got you know i
mean as if it's like you
know you know um it goes out of season it's yeah yeah like they're never gonna
make it let's say
it's like those breakfast carnation bars in the 70s and 80s that i loved and
they don't make them
anymore so i'm afraid that they're gonna um discontinue discontinue them yeah
yeah i get
that i showed mccone my collection did you like it mccone i mean i've never
seen anything like it
i don't know oh my god dude that's so good dude yeah yeah he's been very you
know also he snaps
on me now mccone have you noticed that yeah he gets a little attitude no even
even when i'm running
into him at the comic store he'll snap what does he say and and so now i know
that underneath there's a
resentment and he won't tell me what the resentment is because i don't want it
to get out of control we
know what happens when that happens no yeah and i apologize for that i i see
what do you remember
what the snap was about i remember exactly what it was okay i took a picture of
your busted lip
and then you said let me see it and then i said it's film then you got mad oh
that's but that's
not how we said it can i tell you right yeah let me see it it's film and i go
whoa dude i just
said film like what's the anger about i was just texting leanne i said you got
to give my boy the
back bunk and what did she say in a show with bert call you in a few okay
probably gonna discuss we'll
have to discuss the deal terms though but i will act as your attorney for this
thank you look i just
think that given my clients trauma yeah i just believe it's safer and better
for everybody including
psycho psycho sounds yeah yeah to have you removed from from his area no i want
to see sci-fi and i
want to say about what's him he's a very funny guy he's great he's dynamic he
also djs right yeah yeah
he's got the whole thing and he really is a nice guy in fact in the more i
think he was too high and
in the morning before i got shipped off to the um the makeshift hospital the
chinese man um he was
like very apologetic he was like i was super high i didn't know what the was
going on oh that's nice
and so i was just as a joke putting him on blast you know on blast but it
worked yeah but just as a
joke and he's a nice guy he's a bright future i'll never do anything with him
right yeah i mean but
i'm sure he'll pave his way yeah he'll pave his way i don't know i guess can't
we only hope i hope so
i hope he has all the equipment to do that to physically pave like his you mean
like road
work stuff yeah he's because his limited days in comedy is over no i'm kidding
no he's very funny
and i just met him he's a super nice guy he was just super high and it was like
a yeah it was a
moment yeah yeah it's funny who you know when i was in pain it's like who
called me you did a lot
yeah what the and you were in scotland i called you from scott hold on leon's
calling
right now let's let's discuss okay but i do want to hear who called you okay
hi mister what's up hey you're on bad friends with me and bobby so don't don't
say anything
that you usually say don't say crazy like you usually do okay we have to we
have to be good
with our audience and i know that you're known to just say wild i noticed that
my client robert lee
is injured from your tour um you know i'm attorney at law and i'm not going to
take legal action but
i am going to um i'm going to fight for my client um okay and you mean the
operator error that happened
when getting out of his own bunk oh wait it was my client's fault yeah it was
operator error okay
my client tells me that the gap between his bunk and the next bunk was
significantly larger than normal
buses is this not true uh i think it's about length of arm maybe length of arm
okay yeah but you know
that your but the client you know his arms are not human my client's arms are
very much smaller than
normal human arms you are aware of that i am now yeah while moving forward uh
so let's put him on a
bottom bunk if you don't mind please i can do that i can make that happen for
him fair enough uh you will
see no legal ramifications for this i really appreciate you and and have a
wonderful day nice
i can't wait to have him back we love you i'm me too i know i miss you guys and
uh i'm sending him
on behalf of me so i love you guys have fun we'll talk to you soon love you
love you bye bye she's the
best she's the best number one she's number one he she's too good for him for
bert yeah no what are you
you talking about he's good too he is really good too no but you see her and
you go wow i get it
every guy that's with a woman that like that is always going to be worse than
the woman like they're
always out kicking their cover yeah you're going to end up with someone who's
like your wife was way
better than you yeah you're going to be with someone who's way better than you
that's how it goes
look at fancy look at fancy above his league his wife is stunning stunning yeah
look at um
that's it that's it in the room yeah that's all that's it in the room and macone
he outkicks his
coverage i mean so does carlo you see anybody macone not currently yeah how
about you carl you just
call him carl it feels better right carl are you not hooking up with anybody
right now or dating or
anything i hooked up with someone last week i don't think it'll last i'm
talking to a couple girls
right now yeah that's it yeah nothing fun it doesn't sound fun you sound a
little low today it's
yeah i'm not like super into it i'm not like i'm not like uh crushing or
anything like that well the
summer's coming don't you want to be a little free summer boy like a white boy
summer yeah don't you
want to have a little white boy summer um kind of but i'm just more hanging out
he seems like i can't
wait until you find i i there will be one woman that he's gonna go that's it or
man that doesn't
i mean yeah yeah who knows yeah exactly right well it could could it not be a
guy it could be a really
handsome like cool guy no honestly can you see yourself marrying a guy be real
no no yeah that's
illegal isn't it yeah in some places i think i no i wouldn't marry a man but
you there are guys like
henry cavill like if you like so if harry if superman henry cavill goes hey i
want it let's get
married would you marry him yes why because he's so handsome all right so that's
and the rest of your
life oh and you wouldn't henry cavill or tom hardy or austin butler i would one
time
for the story for the story you would marry no i wouldn't 100 now i would marry
okay good
what's so funny what do you mean you would definitely marry no i wouldn't
shut up no i wouldn't yes you would i would not marry security i have security
well you love the fame
you would love the fame not as famous you you would love the fame you're famous
no i'm not you are
and would i marry you no yes you would no what the fucking if i set it up right
what if i set it up
right operation yeah no because you know what it is once you smiled everyone's
sex and once you smiled
we would erupt in a laughter and we wouldn't be able to fit it it would be too
funny
you