Name: What White People's Houses Smell Like
Uploaded: 2024-07-19T15:15:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'What White People's Houses Smell Like' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-07-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'What White People's Houses Smell Like' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-07-19. Transcript available.

do you smell do you do you remember how it smelled in the house i do do you
know what i mean when you
remember how a house used to smell it smelled like kimchi the whole time yeah i
remember having to
tell people you know what i mean hey get a load of this prepare yourself for
this smell right and
then because our my house always smelt now when you're in it and you're like
during the summer
you don't smell it but then when you go to school and then you come back you
smell like regular you
know i mean like a classroom right and then always when you came in go oh yeah
here it is you know
what i mean it's like dead i'm a whale pussy that's what it smelled like dead
will will pussy yeah what
are white people's houses smell like when you were i love it when you went to a
white house there's a
little bit of moth like with the cotton um moth balls yeah there's a hint of moth
balls i don't
know i always smell a hint of coffee yeah well we're always drinking coffee
yeah a hint of coffee and then
it's always like um and i didn't know the word for it back then bologna soap no
oh my god pumpkin
spice there was always a little pumpkin spice like a hint of that kind of like
it's a nutmeggy
nutmeggy like you know what i mean like fall smell which i love it is another
smell that you
hear and because i'm a connoisseur of white smells i don't know if you know
that no i've been in many
white house big with the whites i've spent the night there you know i mean and
there's a little
bit of leather yeah and you know where the leather's from a baseball mitt
usually we got we leave those
around the house do you really i have one in every room yeah yes i always smell
that and and i always
talk about it well when i did naca your college the college thing yeah you know
i you know one night
i was in indiana and they're like you have to spend the night at these old
people's house in the attic
for one night and then you kind of take the greyhound bus to the next thing
right so i remember and
they're like lights out at nine right and it's no it's the dead of winter and
it's cold as fuck and
they gave me a thin like you know one that they fucking knitted one of those
blankets so it's like
itchy yeah so i'm in this attic like this creaking right and i'm like oh there's
no way i'm gonna sleep
there's fucking no eminently right but i remember going let's analyze the
smells what's in there all
the things i told you about yeah and that's how i'm an expert leather yeah
leather stands out are
you an expert of smells of people's houses no but i do walk into some people's
houses i do not like
the way it smells sometimes yeah okay so let's say i'm armenian what would you
smell do you think i'm not
coming over really no not even to play chess no of course i'm coming over yeah
yeah yeah no it's
smells like cologne a lot of it oh a lot of it yeah so much that it's i can't i'm
a little i can't
breathe i'm stuffy i get stuffy right i get stuffy but what's let me ask you
something pal
andy yeah go ahead right what would be the perfect smell in a house if i walked
in laundry mexicans
mexicans laundry best smelling houses their houses always smell laundry way too
much though doesn't
matter why do they use so much i love it i use a lot because of them i'm they
inspire me yeah
yeah yeah i over dump i over dump i over yeah i would smell my shit but that's
why because i want
to smell my shirt four days later and it still smells like laundry dude it's
probably they figure that out
they just overuse i think that's a good thing yeah yeah that's cultural yeah i
love how they refried
the bean that's what i'm saying yeah i mean they clever they're clever in that
way if they're going to
fry the bean twice they're going to put in two tide pods that's that's that's
the exact dude that dude
the thinking behind it right might as well do twice huh two times the
concentrate that bottle right
that looks like that black people love that to drink
right y'all got anything in the fridge yeah we got fabuloso
hey we got uh that's it sounds like coca-cola classic uh orange juice fabuloso
that just gives you diabetes once you drink it i think fabuloso yeah it gives
you die yeah you
die yeah you die yeah that's insane that stuff yeah so i want to talk about
another thing that
and i don't know what to do i'm at my last i'm at my last your last gas yeah
and um and there's
nothing i can do but you know i you know i spent some money to interior design
my house so i have
brand new funeral furniture at my house it looks great yeah it looks like a
movie my house but i
can't sit on any of the furniture because of ming what's going on my cat ming
decided
i don't like this furniture so i'm just gonna pee on every bit of the phone oh
my god so she goes to
every piece of furniture and just pisses on it right so then i go online i go
okay like the spray you
know what i mean like right you know i mean the anti she loves it she thinks it's
like oh pee more
you know what i mean like it's almost like you i should pee here yeah right
where the spray is right
and we went to the hospital you know i mean everything's fine right and i just
don't know
what to do so it's just like and i talk to ming every night i go yo dog it's
like bro it's like i
really do have these what if you keep ming in one of your rooms that like
because i don't i want my
cats to be free as well but i mean does she do this when you're home or when
you're not home
usually when i'm not home well that's right so when you're not home keep her in
a room where she's
learns her lesson right but then when i'm sleeping i don't want to no she won't
do it i don't yeah i
can't do it you got to coach her through it really right though i mean you do
that with dogs you
got to train the cat the cats are smarter than dogs but she's 12. she knows
what she's doing she just started
doing it because she's because she doesn't like your taste she's she's doesn't
like it yeah like
you know i don't like modern yeah that she's doing she's more of a contemporary
oh i see that's what
it is no i think what it is is because um during the construction we had so
many people over oh she
didn't like it stressed her out well that yeah you shouldn't have done that
that pissed her off
yeah i know but anyway you spent the fortune and all that furniture it's all
fucked up
yeah but still it's still worth keeping a cat my cat i love her so well yeah i'm
not saying
get rid of the cat yeah but you know i um i do look at her and i go why why
yeah yeah it was so
nice to come home and see my dog yeah what was he like she was she like
freaking out freaking the
fuck out piddled a lot she piddles a lot when she sees me when i come home off
a road trip i have
to greet her outside because she pisses everywhere she keeps pissing she pissed
on you she pisses on
everything she just pisses because she's so excited yeah she pisses yeah they
call it piddling or
coddling or whatever yeah but honestly dude she just keeps pissing and she'll
roll over on her
back and i'll scratch her she likes bellies and she'll just be pissing in the
fucking all over
the inside the house that's why i greet her outside i whenever i come home from
a road trip
yeah like a like a like a show or tour yeah i keep i put my suitcases aside i
open the door and
i let her run out and greet me outside because she pisses everywhere wow and it's
got to be weird
for someone walking by like look at that that's so cute and it's just me
smiling scratching dog and
piss all over the place wow she usually pisses all over my clothes when i come
home she does she's
excited she loves you so much it's hilarious how much she freaks out and then
she'll lay on her stomach
and on her back waiting for me to keep bellying her but i don't want to keep
doing it because i'm
pressing on her stomach so then she'll pee more that that brings me to this
question yes i lick it off
or no what is that yeah do you eat it drink it no i'm no
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
you