Name: Bobby Gives Away Burt Kreischer Merch!?
Uploaded: 2024-07-24T15:00:24.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Gives Away Burt Kreischer Merch!?' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-07-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Gives Away Burt Kreischer Merch!?' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-07-24. Transcript available.

i have to ask you something you have a girl that cleans your house that isn't
this girl
hold up what are you doing i repositioned yeah you have a girl that cleans your
house
it's not this girl and somebody cleans your house and you gave her a bunch of
merch from the fully loaded tour how do i know this how do you know this do you
know how insane
this is yeah how do you know this dude this is such like this the world is so
small oh my god
so my cousin who you know his friend is staying with someone who cleans your
house this is not that's
not what happened he sent me a text that's not what he goes bobby gave away all
his fully loaded merch
and he and her bed was a display of osos poros that's not what happened yes it
is i'm going to
tell you how that happened how did it happen okay number one you get when you
get a gift bag you
don't want all of it so i puck start over no no you're going to get back right
you don't
okay i picked i picked the ones i wanted and you gave the rest so there's two
things i wanted
all right the you know the the apple ear headphones great great great a little
button i like it right
there was a neck thing where it blows air into your neck love you have one of
those yeah they're the
bad you're the best you're the best okay and then the rest i was like i don't
need it so you gave it
too that's not what happened so i called jana she's my emergency all right so
she's my number one
but lately she doesn't want to clean my house anymore you you you know it's you
it's you and you know it
no i it's you and you know it let's go let's go past it all right it's you and
you know it let's go past
okay but i love you like a family okay but you i can tell you don't want to do
it as often and it's
fine so i've had to resort to other things i have hispanics all right so that's
my number one it's a
two good my number three is jenna she sounds white but she's not right she's
not she's not mexican
thank you kept in the hispanic family then exactly so why'd you exclude her
from hispanic
because there's two different kinds right right and she goes i can't do it but
because i'm seeing
somebody yeah and she she keeps saying how nasty my house is okay because of ming
oh you know yeah
peas on everything right right and jenna goes i can't do it so then she goes i
have a friend you
remember bloop bloop and i go i don't know well bloop bloop is available i go
who's bloop bloop
and she's like well she's trustworthy she comes over now i had gotten the box
from the burke question
thing and i had you know when you get a bug you don't fold things you do this
yeah dig through it
you dig through it and i throw things right i'm digging through it right oh
your fault dick neck
you know dig dig so it was like an id went off in there she comes over and i go
you got to organize
she goes oh and i go but you know what just throw it away she goes uh well i
can take it okay you want
this stuff great stuff by the way great company esos esos yeah osos whatever
porosos right great company
and great tour and great people i'm just not gonna wear it because you know i
mean and i want to promote
liquor right right smart very smart let her promote it so she goes she took it
all yeah and that's the
last i thought i would ever hear from it until now it's amazing how the world
goes around isn't that
crazy how small the world is the other day you know what i ran to your family
yeah you did i'm at a
coffee shop right and then i hear hey i look over it's your a family member of
yours my sister yeah i don't
wanna you can say my sister your sister i have a sister yeah and her hunky
i'm ooh la la be honest honk machine he's a sharp look just like the northman
right you're just standing with a alfred coffee right hey hey i go you know and
i when i'm around
guys like that i do i do a half hug yeah you do right and i put my hand against
their chest
all right just to have the leverage yeah unless they get it so they if they get
aggressive right
just in case just in case you see my mom and my dad i saw your mom i saw your
wife's parents too
and it was like i ran to them did they tell you yeah i ran through them as if
they were my own family
it's very sweet hugs you did give a lot of hugs i heard i hugged everyone okay
people were shocked
to see you in public my mom was like bobby goes outside that's literally what
my mom said does bobby
go outside i know because when you because when you're dating people they want
to go outside you have
to go outside but you're like i don't want to go outside right and they're like
well then i'm going
to see somebody else so i'll go to the beach or whatever it might be i've been
doing all kinds of
weird shit you're outside i went to universal and did the wind machine what
because of her you went
to the you went to universal studios i took a class and everything i was
sitting in a class
taking notes about like what to do what not to do like you're not ready to do
the flips and the
rolls yeah but you put your hands out like this we feel the air near me and
then all the symbols
of like i mean the hand gestures will like this is fly yeah i flew but my point
is is that you went
at universal city the mall you got suspended in a vacuum machine it's not you
didn't fly
go ahead no i don't want to go ahead yeah you're starting it yeah guy i'm going
to tell you this
right now dude and before there were jokes before there were jokes okay this is
not a joke okay
i will not do your movie this is not a joke this is not a thing in fact anyone
listening right now
when you watch his zombie movie you will not see me in it because of what he
just said just now
that's right all right i will not i refuse to you fly beautiful no no you can't
you can't you can't it's over anyway i did fly i'm a flying machine you saw my
family got coffee
it was nice but it was really nice really nice to see everyone is in my house
for fourth of july yeah
it was a little overwhelming i'm not gonna lie when you have a lot of family
having everybody
over at your place is tough it's like one and everybody wants something
everybody wants something
and you don't want to you just what do they want give me the three things they
want i'll be the guy
food i'm i'm your assistant okay food we'll get food i don't have an assistant
let's just say i am
food call me um joe just jiminy hey jiminy
boss boss hey boss hey jiminy hi boss what i have my note why is your shirt
still on
oh sorry boss you know i want your shirt off when you walk around the house bud
i know i know but the
marshmallows the marshmallows you told me to put on my body right i mean you
already licked them off so
i just thought i could i ask you to get new ones why do you think i want you to
go to the grocery
store you're supposed to put marshmallows all over your body every day i'll be
right back boss thank
you oh look at my little stay puff marshmallow man hey boss i got the notepad
what what your family
need here food food if food f-o-o-d food good yes alcohol lots of alcohol a
yeah that one you can't
spell can you but that that that good yeah that's good yeah i know what that
means yeah yeah yeah yeah
yeah and then c b c three sunscreen sunscreen sunscreen oh yeah because the
white albinos
okay i'll be right back boss thank you that's not a lot doesn't seem like a lot
no that's not it's
just everybody you know you got a host you have to be a host being a host is
hard you'll never host
at your house i've hosted have i not hosted for christmas i think kalilah
hosted boom you didn't do
shit i hosted you tried to help that's hosting how what did he do like be
honest be real for once
your energy dude that's you know look up hosting dude no don't i was just
kidding right but i assume
that hosting energy has a lot to do with it you need 60 energy 60 percent when
you're hosting no how
many percentage i have zero energy because you're doing for others the whole
time oh i save i save
my energy for the house and that's why i don't leave the house that's right
every year i'll help the
host so i just save it you