Name: Rudy Explains Filipino Chicken Butt?!
Uploaded: 2024-07-25T14:32:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Rudy Explains Filipino Chicken Butt?!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-07-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Rudy Explains Filipino Chicken Butt?!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-07-25. Transcript available.

I had to remove a couch cushion last night because my dog had anal secretions
all over the couch
cushions. Oh, our dogs do that. I hate it so much. Fish butt. Fish butt. It
stinks, dude. It's the worst.
Why, dude? It's a brand new couch. Why what? She's only done it when she's like
in her little bed
or something, but for some reason she jumped on the brand new couch, the
fireworks are going off
for the 4th of July, and she was... Because she was scared. I know, dude, but
be scared in the bed.
Secrete on the bed. Now it's all over the couch. So what'd you do? I got fish
butt couch.
I set it on fire. No, you didn't. I burnt my house down. Because of Ming and
the P, I'm fingering
out. I want to know what I have to do. Okay, so I had to call the manufacturing
company that
made our couch that we just bought it from, and they have a special solution
that I have
to use to clean it. You can just spray it with it. No, dude. No, you can't.
That is in the
f***ing. It's in the couch. But it eventually dries out and turns into flakes.
Little fish
flakes. But doesn't it? That's just... Okay. No, it's in there. I just spray. I
think that's
the right thing. Yeah. I don't even wipe. I just spray. And that's why people
are coming
over saying, this is gross. It's pretty gross. Yeah. You need to clean this up.
But isn't...
I want to ask. I'm being real. I haven't Googled it yet. Isn't there something
that comes
over with equipment and just f***ing cleans your couch? Yeah, but that's like a
big deal.
That's like a whole couch cleaning. That's like you're talking about when they...
When
they... Yeah, I want that. Someone did that to your other couch, Tito Bobby.
Don't you
remember? Yeah, the Stanley Steamer. You got a Stanley Steamer over there. But
let me tell
you something. Yeah. I got to... I just am learning about... It's called
expressing the anal
glands of your dog. You have to express the glands when they clean them. Did
you do it
on your own? I did. Like you went in? I was in an... I learned how to express
online.
Wow. What do you have to do? Well... Wait, what is that? Is that it? Yeah. Wait
a minute.
Go back. That's it? Yeah. Zoom in. Did you do that? Because if you're not doing
that,
you're not doing it. Well, see, I... Oh, you use your penis? You don't use your
penis. Wait, wait. Wait, seriously. Is that really
it? Yeah, that's it. Because it said on this one thing that I read that if you
just put
your lips up to it, then you just go... Oh, yeah. That... Yeah. Yeah. Look at
what a dog's
face looks like when you have to open up its tush. Look at how embarrassed that
guy is. I know.
Look at how embarrassed that poor guy is. Well, they wear pants, guy.
Yeah. It's not our fault you're naked, dude. I know, guy. Yeah. I learned how
to express
the anal glands. It sucks. Let me see. If you were expressing my anal glands, I
would
see my look. Yeah. Look at what your face would be. Look. Yeah. Same look. Side
by side.
What do you think? I do... Yeah. It does suck. So you did it on your own?
Yeah. We got that fish butt gown. You have to. We tried it with our dog, but it
was too
hard. It is hard. But the woman who does her grooming, she's going to come and
she said
she's going to do it this end of this week. But it's because of stress. Why do
they do
it? Dogs have it for all sorts of reasons. Some people, people at home, send in
your suggestions
of why your dog has fish butt. Some dogs because they're stressed. Some dogs
get it because they're
old. Some dogs aren't expressed enough. Dude, what if fish get dog butt? I
thought, right?
What if fish get dog butt when they're stressed out? Yeah, they might. Yeah.
Yeah. Interesting.
They really might in the ocean. In the ocean. Yeah. But we can't get there to
smell it.
Yeah. Yeah. That fish has dog butt. He doesn't want anybody else to know. Don't
come near
him. Yeah. That's why I think, uh, I hated it. Ducks do human lips when they
take photos.
No, they don't. Have you ever seen a chicken's butt? Wait, what? A chicken's
butt? Yeah.
What? It does the mouth. It does the... What do you mean? It's got lips? Whoa,
what is that?
No, not that. Just a tiny one. Is that a sack? What is that? What is that? A
hemorrhoid?
Yeah, it's a swollen. Yeah, no, go to a regular one. Do not a fucking swollen
one.
That's the chicken's butt? That's it? What's wrong with that? That looks normal.
Yeah, what's wrong with that butt?
It looks like a butt. No, I'm just saying in the Philippines, we would like...
Oh, Filipino chickens. Here we go. Here we go. They're different.
What happened to the Philippines with chickens' butts?
Because we had chickens and then, like, my uncle would, like, show us, like, oh,
look at this.
And then he would grab the chicken and he would, like, on the butt and then...
He'd blow on its butthole? Yeah, and then the lips would...
And then the butt would be, like, oh, lips.
Like, we'll do that.
I know. Can I just say, theoretically, though, I think all buttholes, when
somebody's blowing, does that.
Well, come here, let me try. No, no, I don't. We've done that before.
All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But, uh... He's like, look at the chicken's butt.
But who's the first Filipino dude to do that?
And this guy's been going on for centuries. Yeah, yeah. Some guy had to try it
the first time.
Look at this. This is a Filipino girl. This is what happens when you blow on a
chicken's butt.
Let's see it. Let's see.
So, okay, I want to...
Do all the people, like...
Okay, that's... That's the...
No, you got to rewind it.
Yeah, we want to see it.
Well, what's the blow? What's the style?
Okay, here we go.
All right.
Okay.
Okay, that's... That's the...
See?
Yeah.
Oh, I see.
It's doing it.
It's doing it now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I see it.
Okay, so you have to blow on it.
Okay.
Watch, okay?
No, don't zoom out. Come here.
Oh, it did an extra thing.
Don't you guys have toys?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whoa, dude.
That's incredible.
That's like a popular thing.
Instead of fucking Xbox, you guys have that?
Okay.
In the Philippines?
And you're wondering why you need a passport to go to Europe.
This is why.
That's what you guys do, huh?
Why can't I get into Japan and Europe?
Because you guys blow in chicken's assholes.
You lunatics.
It's lunatics.
That's insane to do that.
That's a fun game.
It was.
Until now.
That's interesting.
I wonder why the chicken does that, their butthole.
Yeah.
Well, it's ready for something.
I know.
I wonder what happened if I put my penis in there.
Look, he's kissing me.
Blow me kisses.
But also, can I just say something?
What a large butthole for a bird?
Well, it got big.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
It got big.
It stays tight, but it gets big.
What have you been doing?
Have you been blown in buttholes?
Nothing.
Just work.
Where are you working now?
Still at school.
You're working at that school?
Yeah.
I thought you quit that job.
I'm still doing it.
Can I just say something?
Wow.
You work hard at work, right?
I'm the best.
You're the best, right?
Yeah.
It's such an easy job, and I'm getting paid for it.
Oh, so mine's arduous and rough.
Yeah.
It's like 10 times worse.
Why?
Because you have to move.
You have to clean shit.
You have to do everything.
Yeah.
That sounds worse.
That's fair.
That's fair.
Yeah.
Now, is it also that you like that school job?
What is it now?
It's at the bookstore?
No.
Administration office.
Yeah.
You like it, I bet.
It's just so easy.
It's just like-
You don't do anything.
Not do anything.
How many do you get recognized?
A lot?
No, but it's like the chairs of like departments.
And then-
They watch Bad Friends?
Yeah.
They know about Bad Friends.
And then they're like old people.
And they're like, oh.
Are they nice to you?
Yeah, they're nice.
They're not old.
How old?
What's old?
50, yeah.
Like the Bobby's-
That's not old.
I'm not old.
Look at me, dude.
80 is old.
Well, don't do that.
Don't shake your tits.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's a-
Yeah, but-
Does it seem old to you, dude?
Yeah.
Yeah, but they know the podcast.
Well, that's good.
And do you get-
Do you blush or do you step into the role?
I blush.
Oh, you do?
And I just try to hide.
What color are you when you blush?
I'm still yellow and brown.
Just more yellow-y brown?
Yeah.
Yeah.
What I've enjoyed about you over the years
is that you've gotten more confident, though,
in every area of your life.
Cocky, even.
Yeah, yeah.
Even a little cocky.
Because you used to be, like, so timid.
Like, we talked about that one time
you sang that song at Christmas-
And I cried.
And you cried.
Yeah.
I don't think you would cry now.
I don't think so.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But it took a while.
Like, I was so scared of you.
You came out of your shell.
Yeah, yeah.
You were scared of him for a long time.
Why?
I'm just a little guy.
Because you have so much energy.
I do.
It's, like, overpowering.
Very overpowering energy.
I get it.
Well, when you sleep for 15 hours,
you store up a lot of energy.
He's like a Pokemon.
He's just waiting to explode.
Anyway.
You have no summer plans.
You're going to work all summer?
Let's give you a gift to go somewhere.
Where?
Where do you want to go?
Where do you want to go?
Can you just pay for my surfing classes?
Or when they import you back to the Philippines, learn there.
That's also true.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, when they kick you out of this great country.
I don't want to go back.
Let me tell you something, buddy.
Donald Trump's going to get in and kick you right back to where you belong, pal.
He's going to win.
Really?
There's no doubt.
There's no doubt now.
No doubt.
Joe Biden lost a tooth in the last speech.
He's just like, tooth fell.
Falls out of his head.
Yeah, yeah.
It's incredible.
It's crazy.
Woo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo.