Name: Bobby Lee's D*** is Medium Sized!!!
Uploaded: 2024-07-30T15:50:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee's D*** is Medium Sized!!!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-07-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee's D*** is Medium Sized!!!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-07-30. Transcript available.

one time i was in back in the day when there was no internet yeah and you'd
have to go to
i lived in san diego so i had to go to the f street bookstore that was the porn
bookstore
yeah and in the back you know they have the videos right yeah and then one time
i was like this is
good right i was like jerking off feverishly because you also i didn't have a
lot of money
so there's a timer you have to do it fever you're racing against the clock
right and then there was
like one this guy was from behind a girl and i was doing fevers and then they panned
out with two
dudes and then right what right when i saw it was two dudes i nutted it's a
little too late anyway
you want to introduce our guest yeah start new yes introduce our guest do i
realize are you a slender
man anyone let's move on he's kind of slender manny you know me anyway anyway
so um so um i know i know
you you saved my friend's life by the way that's right oh that's right that was
quite the ride it was
the wildest i have a gift for you by the way i've never seen someone passed out
for so long in my life
oh wow i brought back your sweater i i told you okay i'll take it i thought
that was a nice i
thought it's a given it's a get we have a sweater for you ryan come give him
one of ours does it have
your puke on it yeah okay puke and piss so we got colson mgk's give him our mgk
right so um mgk
colson from your point of view tell me the story what you saw that so andrew
was okay go ahead i it was
just he was so normal and this is what i talked about after you in the bathroom
with megan i was
like but he was so like coherent right like how did how did what was he i did
you did you hear
anything i said we had like a 40 minute talk before the plane took off i do the
whole time i was thinking
i'm about to i'm about to throw up so i hope i hope i don't throw up in the
middle of this conversation
and in my mind i thought i'm gonna be talking to him and i'm gonna look over at
megan she's gonna
smile and i'm gonna throw up all over all over her that was my biggest fear if
i puked on you i
thought fine it's sure homie's fine no big deal and then the whole time i was
like man i'm not
feeling good but it wasn't like a communicable sick i just felt wrong by the
way it was just one
of the most i i for someone who i just met for the first time i asked you an
absurd amount of
questions too so it was just like a fan of you knew who ended for sure for sure
and i've watched the
show so i but i was just it was just like such an overloaded with questions
conversation that i
normally wouldn't even be hitting people with so the fact that i chose the most
like
so sick dude for four days after that i had so i had a gastrointestinal bug
i lost nine pounds what was it nine pounds i was on the toilet for four days
straight i went to the
hospital twice that's the first time i ever had to help someone get like an
oxygen tank out of like
the secret compartment in an airplane whoa i ripped through three of them dude
she couldn't reach it
and so i was like i just became involved at that point it was what a good dude
because if i saw him
even though we have a pocket i wouldn't ignore him i would be like i don't know
him is that a good part
of it was also is that a good bit yeah it's a good bit yeah it's not it's not a
good bit you'd be so
concerned for me yeah i don't think so dude he was talking he was and then he
came to the bathroom
and he was like are you okay are you okay dog and i was like i don't think so
wow but i also was like
i don't want you here right now because i was so embarrassed already yeah yeah
and i was like man of
all people why did he have to be on the flight the funny thing but it was good
there was a lady in
the back whose only concern was that she had to use the coach bathroom that you
were blocking up the
only first class bathroom really there was there was a lady that was back there
garbage she was like
is that your friend so like i mean how long do you think because he's in the
only bathroom i can use
i'm like oh there's a bathroom back there she's like i paid for these seats oh
wow that's a bad
human that's a bad human being you can't go to that would have been me yeah
yeah by the way i would
have just sat next to the toilet and be like go ahead just go right next to me
no you would let me
right 100 yeah yeah no they gave me narcan and everything so you gave you also
gave him your sweatshirt
yeah yeah yeah when i walked up to the bathroom he like looked up and it was
just puke everywhere oh
my god and so yeah i just why are you laughing at your boss yeah don't don't do
that it's not
strike one man let's strike one keep it up yeah yeah no he offered me a sweater
which was so nice
and i literally said because they i took off my sweater and then he goes do you
want my sweater
i was like no dude i've i have piss and puke all over me and he goes dude i don't
give a
shit and that's when i fell in love bro piss and puke although i was like he
didn't care at all
bro not only you look like slender man all right but also you have a you have a
probably i've never
seen your genitals but probably great huge you're a very talented musician but
now we know that you're
a good human being oh man and so it just puts flutterly butterflies in my mind
it's give him a round of
applause so great i you know you have a wraith i have three wraiths at home you
guys have a chinese cat
i was just shooting a video with the chat i just did this this arm pump and
then i was just like
bobby that's like i'm doing the chinese cat oh i thought you pointed me and
called me a chinese cat
yeah you did you are my chinese cat why yeah yeah is it a japanese cat i i don't
yeah no no
it's okay colson okay i call them ching chong cats too all right chat cats yeah
yeah i mean first of all
cat i mean what's the obsession with cats with asia well they i mean you're not
gonna immortalize dogs
because you're not gonna you're not gonna frame food you know oh god
what is the obsession why is the obsession with it it's funny because we've had
this since we started
the show this was on our desk when we started the show four years ago and it's
never we've it's never
left for some reason it's been well i went to an island in japan where the
whole island was only cat
statues it was thousands and thousands which island i don't know were there
cats no but in my house
is a bunch of cats bro how many do you have three he's got bro he's got three
bro colson bro bro
you have three cats bro bro there's something no no not no no no not yet no but
bro let me see
something that says a lot about you and it says a lot about me as well we're
big dick people yeah yeah
yeah we're big people no i don't know if that's that's what it means right marlon
brando had cats
sick big dick guy okay yeah yeah and i'm gonna say let me just say something to
you everyone in this
room okay i'm tired of people calling me a small little dick guy yeah dude it's
not it's not right
it's not right it's not wrong or right first of all yeah yeah it is right it's
not right it's right
it's no i'll tell you why it's right no they've been i have a girl lady friend
and she validated you
now she's like dude you have medium great no we measured it and everything dude
now
dude i'm medium dick dude medium dude you upgraded dude that's an upgrade dude
that's
i'm tired of the shit dude you were the one that perpetuated my feet are nine
size why are you laughing
dude my season my feet are size nine all right it's it's all connected it's a
good thing let's move on
from it and i don't want to talk about my genitals again you brought it up i
know i right i'm just
sorry i don't know he just what's the name of your cats you want to name your
whiskey tickets and navi
whoa tickets is mine you want to know mine yeah ming gunner and bojo one more
time ming yeah gunner
gunner and bojo and bojo okay yeah yeah yeah gunner after uh arsenal the soccer
team yeah yeah
ming after his mom who passed away and and she came back to life as the cat we
think no she's still
alive she is yeah i don't know what to laugh at
and then we have bojo which is bobby jr that's right we call him bojo oh that's
and he looks the
most like him he's fat yeah yeah yeah well they have the same vibe what do you
mean he doesn't do
shit that's right right that's right he's the sleepiest the laziest yeah it's
like you know
they think they're in circus away or something i can't they're ruining his
entire house yeah like on
top of the fridge i've been beds but still they're just sleeping on top of the
fridge like like half
the body you're dangling do your cats do that they sleep wherever they want
yeah there's eight million
beds they choose like cardboard boxes with towels and right yeah but do you buy
fancy or no what do you
say wait wait stop stop stop you understood what i said do you buy fancy yeah
yeah thank you the food
no he means no no do you buy fancy beds absolutely sorry i'm yelling yeah he's
our guest don't yell at
our guest you're right you're right sorry you saved my friends i buy like
ridiculous cat bed they have
like palm trees yeah elevated right i have this too but i find that whenever i
buy a fancy thing
they rather go the furnace or whatever you know what i mean yeah yeah yeah you
find that or no
why i do why do you think that he built a cat sanctuary in his backyard and
they haven't been in there
how much was it tell him how much 10 15 grand yeah yeah and they don't ever go
out there yeah yeah
literally ever once i don't think i've seen a cat in your house outside of your
house yeah but i want
to say this colson from now on okay can you understand me now yeah okay i love
it i love this guy
i know i've met ran into you a couple of times now yeah where comedy store in
the main room yeah
backstage backstage yeah there's never a rapport between because i think it's i'm
scared why is that
because you're at machine gun kelly i'm like you're in i think you're
intimidated you're intimidated a
little bit but now that we broke this barrier now there's going to be what's
you know in front of
everybody what's up you know what's up colson i can call you colson he's
working on his his hip-hop
presence he wants to be yeah yeah dog what's up is this working that might make
me like nah
what do you think about what do you think about bob blacking out an arm you've
talked about this yeah
yeah yeah because you're you're going for you're full yeah yeah i've left i've
left windows to the
olds but uh are you are you is this a joke no no no no no no no no he's talked
about blacking out an arm
yeah yeah i want just one what do you think of me blacking out uh an arm i i i
think it would look
rad you do yeah for sure yeah yeah i i will be upset if you do the go to sleep
thing to get it i think
that's super lame what do you mean people pass out when they do it no when
people like get put under
to get the tattoos oh that's a thing i don't know about that's that those were
weaklings i just think
part of the culture is to earn it you know so dude i earned my pain yeah yeah
so i think it'd be sick
uh depending what if i did the face would that be blackface that would be a
very bad bad decision
that'd be well if you did it'd be breakfast it would be oh my god oh i can't do
breakfast you know
no breakfast for you buddy no way
no breakfast for you buddy no way
no breakfast for you buddy no way
no breakfast for you buddy no way