Name: Jack Black Helps Bobby's S@x Life?
Uploaded: 2024-08-06T16:03:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jack Black Helps Bobby's S@x Life?' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jack Black Helps Bobby's S@x Life?' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-06. Transcript available.

All right, man. Welcome our guest.
No, no, no, no, no, no. I want to answer it.
No, if you're going to be rude in front of Jack Black.
I'm not being rude. I'm thinking about it.
Because you're trying to be a hotshot cool guy.
Sorry, Jack. No, I want to be answering.
No, you're trying to be a hotshot cool guy in front of Jack.
I get it. I get it. Assert dominance.
Yes. Yes, I've been.
Oh, thanks for adding to the conversation.
I mean, it's crazy right now, dude. It's too early for me.
Everybody, welcome Jack Black to the show.
Jack Black, wait a minute.
I want to say this about you, Jack Black.
Oh, yeah. I have so many things to say.
Maybe one of the most-
Bingo.
Lovable, funny, beautiful people we have on earth right now.
Who?
Me?
Bobby.
Bobby.
Yeah, I just wanted to say, I wanted you to recognize what I was saying.
Yeah, you know, may I say stuff?
Yeah, please.
I think you're one of the most beautiful, funny, fun lovers.
You can't do the same thing. You have to mix it up.
My own thing?
Yeah, do your own thing.
Dynamic.
Yep.
Versatile.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, creative.
Did you say that already?
No, but it's all kind of wrapped in.
Oddly nimble?
You are.
You are.
You're oddly nimble.
You're talking about me?
Yeah, you're dancing.
I remember you do dancing.
I do move around.
Yeah.
I get, yeah, I am oddly nimble.
That's a good description, I think, of my nimbleness.
It's odd.
You built a mini, you built a mini ramp in your backyard, right?
Don't you have a mini?
I did.
That's so cool.
Have you ever seen that?
I've seen mini ramps, yeah, because I watch X Games and stuff.
Of him skating.
Oh, no, no, no, no, you skate?
I do.
I didn't, I'm not a real ramp skater.
I use it more of a mode of transportation.
All through my teen years, I was skating all over.
Oh, you mean for real?
Yeah, that is no longer there.
We took it down because there were too many, we got, there's a lot of beefing.
Wait, what's going on?
Oh, there was just a couple injuries and I was like, enough of this crazy, wacky
thing.
It's not right.
I do enjoy it, but I also am not good at it.
Let's be honest.
Well, you can drop down.
I think that's the hardest thing, dropping down.
Dropping in.
I cannot drop down.
What?
Can you drop up?
Here's what I do.
I start in the middle and I go back and forth.
Yeah.
Until I fall down.
Can we just say it's dropping in?
You know this, right?
Drop, drop in.
Correct.
Yeah, it's not drop down.
Excuse me, Nigel Houston.
Well, here's what's funny about you.
You do horogamy here, fucking Tommy.
This guy used to claim that he skated.
Remember that?
Remember that whole fucking lie that he perpetrated?
Tony Hawk taught me on Ali.
It's online.
Yeah.
Wait a second.
Can you, Ali?
I can now because Tony taught me it's online.
Yes, I can.
It's online.
That's one step before.
And I get an inch.
Look at me.
Look at my ponytail.
I want to watch this right now.
Yeah, please.
Yeah, yeah.
Let's not watch that right now.
Okay, so anyway.
But you know how to go back and forth like the thing.
I can go back and forth and I can do a couple kind of spinaroos, but I cannot
even Ali, dude.
We'll get you there.
I can't kickflip.
I did a whole video of me yelling at people to do a kickflip and it was a lot
of fun to
yell at people and watch them do kickflips, but I felt like a hypocrite because
I cannot
kickflip.
I can't even Ali.
I know, but you can't kickflip without knowing how to fucking Ali, Jack.
I know, you gotta walk before you can run.
Exactly, dude.
So yeah, if afterwards, if you, do you have a couple decks here?
You didn't bring your board, did you?
No, I don't really have.
I see a board, but it doesn't have any wheels on it.
Yeah, yeah.
I got rid of all my boards, yeah.
I used to use them for art, but no longer.
Yeah, that skateboard, that was giving us, what, a fan did that as a gift.
We've got some fun.
Every, if you look around the room, actually, all this is fan art.
Everything has been given to us from.
Oh, nice.
It looks like there's some AI art back there.
Oh, that's, that's a real, oh, that one?
Yeah, the one.
No, that's my brother who lives in India.
No.
Okay.
Let me just say something.
I am very gullible.
I believe everything that it's told to me.
I never go fuck you, but yeah, that's, you know, you're right.
AI, you, you, you got it.
I did.
That was AI, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You got it, man.
I want to, I don't want to be.
It's Andrew Space Prince from India.
Is that what you chose AI?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't want to be offended, Jack, but may I say something that might be, you
know what
I mean?
I mean, I don't want, I want to be myself.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I want to be real with you.
Do you mind if Bobby's real with you?
Go straight at me.
I want to go straight at you.
I appreciate you.
Uh-huh.
Here it comes.
No, there's no comment, man.
Right?
Yeah, you said that before.
I appreciate you, I appreciate you, I mean, and I don't want you to feel weird,
a fan,
big fan, throw that out there, but I think you've helped me sexually, I'll tell
you why.
Oh, all right.
This is all good, Jafar.
It's great.
I was ready for the butt.
No, no, no, I'm grateful for it.
And?
I get real, yeah, I get really emotional about it, but I think that, like, you,
because,
you know, we're, I mean, I know I'm littler than you, smaller, right, but I
feel like
we're in the same, you know what I mean, range of, like, body types almost.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah, let me finish.
On a spectrum.
On a spectrum, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
His is more evolved, I'd say.
I'm rocking about 250 right now.
Yeah.
I've been stuck here for, for years.
Where are you at?
Where are you at?
I'm at 180.
One?
180.
You're in the ones?
Yeah.
Ah, you're not even in the same universe as me, bro.
Yeah, yeah.
But women have got, like, I've f***ed up with girls and they go, I like that
Jack Black look.
Oh, man.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
And in my mind, I'm like, I always get on my hands and knees.
And I go, thank you so much, Jack Black.
I mean, I'm not praying to you.
You are, though.
Yeah, I am.
And I go, thank you for, like, he's paving the road so I can get some nooky nook.
You know what I mean?
So I appreciate it.
That's all I'm saying.
You paved the road to pussy town.
That's basically what you've done.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So thank you so much for that.
That might be the highest compliment I've ever received.
I don't know if you know this, but Jack Black is a subcategory on Pornhub.
If you search Jack Black's body.
No.
Oh, yeah.
No, there's not.
Really?
There's a crew of guys that look like Jack Black on there.
I am not going to immediately search that as soon as it's going to do it's over.
Yeah, yeah.
I might Google.
I might do that at Pornhub.
If somebody compares your body to Jack Black, what would mine be compared?
What would they, what's mine?
Oh, f*** you.
I know what you're doing.
It's gross.
What is it?
Oh, you want to say Tom Hardy?
Is it really?
I guess, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tom Hardy.
Yeah, Tom Hardy.
I guess it is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, you are, I mean, as a comic, for a comic, I think you are.
I guess it's Tom Hardy.
You're not Matt Reif.
No, no one.
You're not Matt Reif or Jeff Dye.
No, that's true.
But you're like two below that?
Maybe three.
Yeah, but still.
Still missed.
15 above me.
You know what I mean?
So that's pretty good.
It's pretty good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But, yeah, you're pretty hot.
People, women have said that.
No.
It's hot.
Your co-host is hot.
Yeah, hot, hot tempered is really what it is.
Yeah, yeah.
Uppity and hot tempered.
Yeah.
But I will say, Jack, getting back to reality, thank you for everything that
you've done
in the world of comedy.
And you bring joy on a level that I think, I've never once seen you and gone,
nah, no,
I see you and I go, oh, yeah, that guy's fucking great.
Bro, I'll tell you the first time I saw you, dude.
Yeah?
And it wasn't a huge part, right?
But I remember going, oh, that guy's good, right?
A movie called.
School of Rock.
No, DMW.
I don't think I'm in that movie.
Yeah, you're in that movie.
Are you sure?
It's called Dead Man Walking.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, you're in that movie.
He hates acronyms.
Yeah, I love acronyms, dude.
You gotta say them all out.
Yeah, yeah.
Dead Man Walking.
Dude, you play his brother.
Remember, he's about to get MGK.
That's what happened earlier.
Like, yeah, we had MGK in here a couple of days ago.
And it was a funny story.
And I was like, MGK?
He's like, Machine Gun Kelly.
Oh, if you would have said that, I would have known.
But it was a serious scene in the movie, right?
Where, like, your brother's dying, right?
He's on death row.
Yeah.
Jack, right?
Yeah, Sean Penn.
Sean Penn's your brother, right?
Yeah, yeah.
He's the dead man walking.
And then you guys are in, like, I remember distinctly,
you guys are in sort of waiting room.
I think you're wearing a suit.
I don't know.
Were you ever wearing a suit?
Yeah, it was like a Sears.
It was a cheap suit.
Yeah, yeah.
We, yeah, a low-income family.
Yeah.
And I was one of his little brothers.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There were three of us.
I was so freaked out because I love Sean Penn ever since I saw Fast Times at
Ridgemont High.
He's my favorite actor.
So good.
And weirdly, that was kind of the only comedy thing he did, the very first
movie.
And then he went hard into, like, drama.
Yeah, but, but that Fast Times, no one, I mean, I know it's a specific
character.
You know what I mean?
It seems more sketchy, like a sketch, like a sketch character almost.
But, dude, he, because he's such a good actor, it just makes it so much better
because it's so believable.
Like, he's so fun.
Well, he doesn't, he never looked like that again, which I thought was really
wild.
Like, he transformed, that stoner, surfer thing never, you know, was reimagined
by him,
which I thought was kind of wild.
After that, you never saw him look like that ever again.
The donut in his, around his belly button when he walks in, remember that?
Remember Fast Times?
I don't remember a donut in his belly button.
I think, yeah, I think he walked into the room with a donut in his belly button.
As Spicoli?
As Spicoli.
Am I not right or no?
I don't think so.
I don't think so.
Right there, or bagel.
Bagel, yeah.
That's tucked into his.
But I'm sure that's a choice.
Mr. Hand, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, no one had captured that kind of stoner before him on film that I'm aware
of.
Yeah.
And it was just such a brilliant, hilarious performance.
But anyway, so I had this little part as his little brother.
And it was just a surreal experience.
And I got to watch him do his thing up close and personal.
And I was there on the day that he shot the scene with Susan Sarandon.
In the jail.
In the jail.
Oh, my God.
It's the night before he's going to get executed.
And he's just having this cathartic, like, just explosive tears.
And it's a confession.
He confesses to her.
It's the redemption part of it.
Yeah.
And then, obviously, you weren't shooting that day.
No.
You knew he was shooting that scene that day?
So were they weird that you were coming or no?
No.
I knew the director.
The director who also gave me my first part in showbiz, Tim Robbins, was also
the director
of a theater company called The Actors Gang.
And so I was tight with him.
So he let me kind of, you know.
Right, right.
Scenes.
Wow.
I wanted to watch stuff.
Was he now, let me, was he approachable, Sean Penn, back then or no?
He was approachable, but he was super method.
So he was kind of in character as this kind of gnarly dude, drug-doing madman
who partied
hard.
And I did hang with him, but I have to admit, I was a little scared of him in
the way that
you might be scared of a wild animal, where it's a little unpredictable.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
One time you're just talking and there's a funny story about John Malkovich or
something,
and then the next minute there's some kind of crazy free-form poetry coming out
of him.
And then it's like, wait, are you going to punch me in the face?
Wait, what's happening over there?
Wow, wow, wow.
Is there a blowjob happening?
Hey, where am I?
Do you get intimidated still or no?
Like, sometimes I'm like, I get a little nervous.
Yeah, I get anxious.
You get anxious?
I get anxious.
And you know when they say, never meet your heroes?
I think, never meet your heroes, not because they're going to do something
weird, but I
act weird around them.
I don't do well.
If I have an option to meet them, I usually will say, pass.
I'd rather just enjoy their work from afar.
*outro music*

Jack Black Helps Bobby's S@x Life?

All right, man. Welcome our guest.
No, no, no, no, no, no. I want to answer it.
No, if you're going to be rude in front of Jack Black.
I'm not being rude. I'm thinking about it.
Because you're trying to be a hotshot cool guy.
Sorry, Jack. No, I want to be answering.
No, you're trying to be a hotshot cool guy in front of Jack.
I get it. I get it. Assert dominance.
Yes. Yes, I've been.
Oh, thanks for adding to the conversation.
I mean, it's crazy right now, dude. It's too early for me.
Everybody, welcome Jack Black to the show.
Jack Black, wait a minute.
I want to say this about you, Jack Black.
Oh, yeah. I have so many things to say.
Maybe one of the most-
Bingo.
Lovable, funny, beautiful people we have on earth right now.
Who?
Me?
Bobby.
Bobby.
Yeah, I just wanted to say, I wanted you to recognize what I was saying.
Yeah, you know, may I say stuff?
Yeah, please.
I think you're one of the most beautiful, funny, fun lovers.
You can't do the same thing. You have to mix it up.
My own thing?
Yeah, do your own thing.
Dynamic.
Yep.
Versatile.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, creative.
Did you say that already?
No, but it's all kind of wrapped in.
Oddly nimble?
You are.
You are.
You're oddly nimble.
You're talking about me?
Yeah, you're dancing.
I remember you do dancing.
I do move around.
Yeah.
I get, yeah, I am oddly nimble.
That's a good description, I think, of my nimbleness.
It's odd.
You built a mini, you built a mini ramp in your backyard, right?
Don't you have a mini?
I did.
That's so cool.
Have you ever seen that?
I've seen mini ramps, yeah, because I watch X Games and stuff.
Of him skating.
Oh, no, no, no, no, you skate?
I do.
I didn't, I'm not a real ramp skater.
I use it more of a mode of transportation.
All through my teen years, I was skating all over.
Oh, you mean for real?
Yeah, that is no longer there.
We took it down because there were too many, we got, there's a lot of beefing.
Wait, what's going on?
Oh, there was just a couple injuries and I was like, enough of this crazy, wacky
thing.
It's not right.
I do enjoy it, but I also am not good at it.
Let's be honest.
Well, you can drop down.
I think that's the hardest thing, dropping down.
Dropping in.
I cannot drop down.
What?
Can you drop up?
Here's what I do.
I start in the middle and I go back and forth.
Yeah.
Until I fall down.
Can we just say it's dropping in?
You know this, right?
Drop, drop in.
Correct.
Yeah, it's not drop down.
Excuse me, Nigel Houston.
Well, here's what's funny about you.
You do horogamy here, fucking Tommy.
This guy used to claim that he skated.
Remember that?
Remember that whole fucking lie that he perpetrated?
Tony Hawk taught me on Ali.
It's online.
Yeah.
Wait a second.
Can you, Ali?
I can now because Tony taught me it's online.
Yes, I can.
It's online.
That's one step before.
And I get an inch.
Look at me.
Look at my ponytail.
I want to watch this right now.
Yeah, please.
Yeah, yeah.
Let's not watch that right now.
Okay, so anyway.
But you know how to go back and forth like the thing.
I can go back and forth and I can do a couple kind of spinaroos, but I cannot
even Ali, dude.
We'll get you there.
I can't kickflip.
I did a whole video of me yelling at people to do a kickflip and it was a lot
of fun to
yell at people and watch them do kickflips, but I felt like a hypocrite because
I cannot
kickflip.
I can't even Ali.
I know, but you can't kickflip without knowing how to fucking Ali, Jack.
I know, you gotta walk before you can run.
Exactly, dude.
So yeah, if afterwards, if you, do you have a couple decks here?
You didn't bring your board, did you?
No, I don't really have.
I see a board, but it doesn't have any wheels on it.
Yeah, yeah.
I got rid of all my boards, yeah.
I used to use them for art, but no longer.
Yeah, that skateboard, that was giving us, what, a fan did that as a gift.
We've got some fun.
Every, if you look around the room, actually, all this is fan art.
Everything has been given to us from.
Oh, nice.
It looks like there's some AI art back there.
Oh, that's, that's a real, oh, that one?
Yeah, the one.
No, that's my brother who lives in India.
No.
Okay.
Let me just say something.
I am very gullible.
I believe everything that it's told to me.
I never go fuck you, but yeah, that's, you know, you're right.
AI, you, you, you got it.
I did.
That was AI, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You got it, man.
I want to, I don't want to be.
It's Andrew Space Prince from India.
Is that what you chose AI?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't want to be offended, Jack, but may I say something that might be, you
know what
I mean?
I mean, I don't want, I want to be myself.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I want to be real with you.
Do you mind if Bobby's real with you?
Go straight at me.
I want to go straight at you.
I appreciate you.
Uh-huh.
Here it comes.
No, there's no comment, man.
Right?
Yeah, you said that before.
I appreciate you, I appreciate you, I mean, and I don't want you to feel weird,
a fan,
big fan, throw that out there, but I think you've helped me sexually, I'll tell
you why.
Oh, all right.
This is all good, Jafar.
It's great.
I was ready for the butt.
No, no, no, I'm grateful for it.
And?
I get real, yeah, I get really emotional about it, but I think that, like, you,
because,
you know, we're, I mean, I know I'm littler than you, smaller, right, but I
feel like
we're in the same, you know what I mean, range of, like, body types almost.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah, let me finish.
On a spectrum.
On a spectrum, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
His is more evolved, I'd say.
I'm rocking about 250 right now.
Yeah.
I've been stuck here for, for years.
Where are you at?
Where are you at?
I'm at 180.
One?
180.
You're in the ones?
Yeah.
Ah, you're not even in the same universe as me, bro.
Yeah, yeah.
But women have got, like, I've f***ed up with girls and they go, I like that
Jack Black look.
Oh, man.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
And in my mind, I'm like, I always get on my hands and knees.
And I go, thank you so much, Jack Black.
I mean, I'm not praying to you.
You are, though.
Yeah, I am.
And I go, thank you for, like, he's paving the road so I can get some nooky nook.
You know what I mean?
So I appreciate it.
That's all I'm saying.
You paved the road to pussy town.
That's basically what you've done.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So thank you so much for that.
That might be the highest compliment I've ever received.
I don't know if you know this, but Jack Black is a subcategory on Pornhub.
If you search Jack Black's body.
No.
Oh, yeah.
No, there's not.
Really?
There's a crew of guys that look like Jack Black on there.
I am not going to immediately search that as soon as it's going to do it's over.
Yeah, yeah.
I might Google.
I might do that at Pornhub.
If somebody compares your body to Jack Black, what would mine be compared?
What would they, what's mine?
Oh, f*** you.
I know what you're doing.
It's gross.
What is it?
Oh, you want to say Tom Hardy?
Is it really?
I guess, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tom Hardy.
Yeah, Tom Hardy.
I guess it is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, you are, I mean, as a comic, for a comic, I think you are.
I guess it's Tom Hardy.
You're not Matt Reif.
No, no one.
You're not Matt Reif or Jeff Dye.
No, that's true.
But you're like two below that?
Maybe three.
Yeah, but still.
Still missed.
15 above me.
You know what I mean?
So that's pretty good.
It's pretty good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But, yeah, you're pretty hot.
People, women have said that.
No.
It's hot.
Your co-host is hot.
Yeah, hot, hot tempered is really what it is.
Yeah, yeah.
Uppity and hot tempered.
Yeah.
But I will say, Jack, getting back to reality, thank you for everything that
you've done
in the world of comedy.
And you bring joy on a level that I think, I've never once seen you and gone,
nah, no,
I see you and I go, oh, yeah, that guy's fucking great.
Bro, I'll tell you the first time I saw you, dude.
Yeah?
And it wasn't a huge part, right?
But I remember going, oh, that guy's good, right?
A movie called.
School of Rock.
No, DMW.
I don't think I'm in that movie.
Yeah, you're in that movie.
Are you sure?
It's called Dead Man Walking.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, you're in that movie.
He hates acronyms.
Yeah, I love acronyms, dude.
You gotta say them all out.
Yeah, yeah.
Dead Man Walking.
Dude, you play his brother.
Remember, he's about to get MGK.
That's what happened earlier.
Like, yeah, we had MGK in here a couple of days ago.
And it was a funny story.
And I was like, MGK?
He's like, Machine Gun Kelly.
Oh, if you would have said that, I would have known.
But it was a serious scene in the movie, right?
Where, like, your brother's dying, right?
He's on death row.
Yeah.
Jack, right?
Yeah, Sean Penn.
Sean Penn's your brother, right?
Yeah, yeah.
He's the dead man walking.
And then you guys are in, like, I remember distinctly,
you guys are in sort of waiting room.
I think you're wearing a suit.
I don't know.
Were you ever wearing a suit?
Yeah, it was like a Sears.
It was a cheap suit.
Yeah, yeah.
We, yeah, a low-income family.
Yeah.
And I was one of his little brothers.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There were three of us.
I was so freaked out because I love Sean Penn ever since I saw Fast Times at
Ridgemont High.
He's my favorite actor.
So good.
And weirdly, that was kind of the only comedy thing he did, the very first
movie.
And then he went hard into, like, drama.
Yeah, but, but that Fast Times, no one, I mean, I know it's a specific
character.
You know what I mean?
It seems more sketchy, like a sketch, like a sketch character almost.
But, dude, he, because he's such a good actor, it just makes it so much better
because it's so believable.
Like, he's so fun.
Well, he doesn't, he never looked like that again, which I thought was really
wild.
Like, he transformed, that stoner, surfer thing never, you know, was reimagined
by him,
which I thought was kind of wild.
After that, you never saw him look like that ever again.
The donut in his, around his belly button when he walks in, remember that?
Remember Fast Times?
I don't remember a donut in his belly button.
I think, yeah, I think he walked into the room with a donut in his belly button.
As Spicoli?
As Spicoli.
Am I not right or no?
I don't think so.
I don't think so.
Right there, or bagel.
Bagel, yeah.
That's tucked into his.
But I'm sure that's a choice.
Mr. Hand, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, no one had captured that kind of stoner before him on film that I'm aware
of.
Yeah.
And it was just such a brilliant, hilarious performance.
But anyway, so I had this little part as his little brother.
And it was just a surreal experience.
And I got to watch him do his thing up close and personal.
And I was there on the day that he shot the scene with Susan Sarandon.
In the jail.
In the jail.
Oh, my God.
It's the night before he's going to get executed.
And he's just having this cathartic, like, just explosive tears.
And it's a confession.
He confesses to her.
It's the redemption part of it.
Yeah.
And then, obviously, you weren't shooting that day.
No.
You knew he was shooting that scene that day?
So were they weird that you were coming or no?
No.
I knew the director.
The director who also gave me my first part in showbiz, Tim Robbins, was also
the director
of a theater company called The Actors Gang.
And so I was tight with him.
So he let me kind of, you know.
Right, right.
Scenes.
Wow.
I wanted to watch stuff.
Was he now, let me, was he approachable, Sean Penn, back then or no?
He was approachable, but he was super method.
So he was kind of in character as this kind of gnarly dude, drug-doing madman
who partied
hard.
And I did hang with him, but I have to admit, I was a little scared of him in
the way that
you might be scared of a wild animal, where it's a little unpredictable.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
One time you're just talking and there's a funny story about John Malkovich or
something,
and then the next minute there's some kind of crazy free-form poetry coming out
of him.
And then it's like, wait, are you going to punch me in the face?
Wait, what's happening over there?
Wow, wo