Name: Bobby Lee Will NEVER Forget This Moment...
Uploaded: 2024-08-07T16:00:42.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee Will NEVER Forget This Moment...' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee Will NEVER Forget This Moment...' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-07. Transcript available.

I'll tell you my Thierry Henry story, right?
No.
You know who Thierry Henry is? Soccer player?
Yeah.
It's my favorite soccer player, Jack.
Oh, really?
Even better than Pele?
The way you say Pele, maybe not, but it's like Thierry Henry
is a French soccer player for my favorite team.
Well, what's my favorite team, everybody?
Arsenal. Arsenal FC, OK? Legend.
I was shooting The Dictator.
It's Sasha's movie. I had two lines.
I only have two lines.
But anyway, there are no small parts.
Thank you, Jack.
No, he does a lot of small parts, yeah.
Two-Line Lee.
I know, honestly, yeah, yeah.
In the business, he's called Two-Line Lee.
Look at what he does with them, though.
Everybody loves him.
I don't know.
He makes a meal.
I make a meal.
So anyway, I'm in the elevator.
I can't believe I've never told this story.
No.
Oh, my God.
All right, so I'm at the Trump Soho Hotel back then.
You have a residency there, right?
I'm a residency there.
Yeah.
Anyway, that's what it's called.
It's called the Trump Hotel.
They've got a Lee floor.
Yeah, yeah.
We've got a Lee floor.
Yeah, there's a library.
33 for Lee.
OK.
So it's not-
Oh, OK, so-
First of all, there's definitely not a library there.
Go on.
No, there was-
OK, anyway, I go in the elevator.
The door's open.
Yeah.
And August, can I just say, because he's French
and he played for Arsenal, it's England,
it's like kind of running into Gandalf or Voldemort.
You know what I mean?
You never think you're going to fucking run into them.
Yeah.
Right?
It's not like L.A. where like, oh, there's Tom Cruise.
I mean, he, you know, or whatever.
You know what I mean?
You never think.
So when he walked in, in my mind, I'm like, Gandalf just walked.
You know what I mean?
And then also, I'm like his biggest fan.
And I fucking went, I shut down.
Like I was like, I didn't know what to say.
And then he got off on his floor.
And I wanted to say things and I couldn't.
It was the first time where I was fucking starstruck.
So you never got to say hello.
I never said anything to the other guy.
And also it's like, but I was, you know what I mean?
But it was better that way.
Because if I fucking said something and he was a dick.
Yeah.
Oh my God, it would, it would have ruined it.
What would you have said?
What would you have said anyway?
Let me be that guy.
What's his name?
Tiara Henry.
Tiara Henry.
Tiara, I am Tiara Yandou.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Pardon me, I'm going to the elevator.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
So let the music play in the elevator.
I'm not going to go right away.
Tiara Henry.
Hello?
Tiara, I just, I just.
Are you talking to me?
Can I take the volume down?
I can take the volume down?
Thank you.
Bonjour.
I'm trying to turn, sorry Tiara, I'm trying to turn down the.
Oh, fucking shot.
Anyway, anyway.
What is it, the volume on the elevator music?
This elevator has a volume knob.
This is crazy.
Yeah, and Tiara, I'm a huge Arsenal fan.
And I'm a huge Arsenal fan and I can't believe.
Thank you.
Can I take a photo with you?
Bing.
I'm sorry, there is no time.
There is no time and it is weird to talk to people in the way down.
So goodbye.
Au revoir.
I fucked it up.
It doesn't matter.
Dude, no matter what you do in an elevator, as soon as you start talking to a
stranger
in an elevator, you're off on the wrong foot.
Because they feel trapped.
Yeah.
They feel trapped.
They're stuck with it.
Right.
They don't know who you are.
You could be a dangerous person.
Right, right, right, right.
Elevator conversations are so uncomfortable.
So that's why maybe I didn't say anything.
Here's the best thing to say.
I don't want to be that guy, but let me be that guy for a minute.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Every time.
They say that every time.
A guy walked up to me on the phone in Scotland on FaceTime.
I was at a hotel on the phone with my wife, the guy's on FaceTime and he just jams
his
phone in front of my face because he's on with a friend of his and I took
everything inside
of me not to just take his phone and throw it as far as I could because it was
crazy rude.
He was just like shoved it in my face.
Yeah.
Now, I think my generation of like, don't say anything, I'm just going to leave
him alone.
Now people don't give a shit at all.
They'll shove a phone right in your face, they'll record you, it's gotten, it's
crazy
now.
There's no rules.
Yeah.
No rules.
There's no rules, but there's also no way to win because if you throw the phone,
you're
an asshole.
Yep.
If you take the phone and play along and talk to the stranger on the thing for
the stranger,
then you're being a foolish person because now you're getting stuck in a weird
situation.
I always end up doing it.
Yeah.
I was like, okay, yeah, I'll talk to the person.
But if I'm like late for a thing or I'm with someone that's a friend or a
family, I will
kind of keep it short.
And just go, hey man.
It just was weird.
It was the weirdest.
He like put it on my face.
I can't imagine you.
I mean, your face must change colors.
Yeah.
I don't like that.
What is the pivot?
How do you stick and move so that it takes the least amount of time?
And that way I think it's best to go high impact.
Give me that fucking phone.
What's up you fucking asshole.
Love you.
Bye.
Give them the experience and then move.
Write that down.
High impact.
That's why I'm going to try that style.
Luke, can I try high impact?
I was the opposite.
He put it in my face.
I go, come on, man.
And I walked away.
Yeah.
What are you doing?
Can I try high impact?
Yeah.
I want to practice.
I think you're a little high impact anyway.
Always.
Okay.
Do it.
Go for it.
Well, give me the, put the phone in my face.
Hey, man.
We talked to my buddy.
I got it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's great.
See, I told you he was Asian.
Oh, right, right, right.
Here's the problem with what you did, Andrew.
For me, if I do what you did and you're like, no, pass.
Thank you, but no thank you.
And I walk away, it stays with me.
Oh, yeah.
I disappointed that person.
It'll fucking stick with me for days.
Sometimes weeks.
I'll be like, why was I such an asshole to that one person?
All I had to do was fucking.
Yeah.
So I will usually err on the side of give him something.
Give him a little.
Give him a little something.
If it's appropriate, I always do.
But this was like drunk, rude, shove a phone in my face.
I was like, come on, dude.
But see, you guys don't know what it's like being little though.
Because then they could take more advantage.
No, what they do is.
They pick you up.
Last night, I was with a young lady.
Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew.
In her 30.
She's 30 years old.
And why were we shooting guns just then?
She's becoming more American.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, I love Deadwood.
And that's why I was doing that.
Is that what she calls your penis?
Go ahead.
No, but we have Bluetooth.
Yeah, so.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Throwing in there.
So anyway, last night, eating dinner at Melrose Ramen.
It's great.
Ramen places.
They close at three in the morning.
Whoa.
Wow.
It's great.
It's on Melrose.
Party zone.
Yeah.
So it's a good place, you know, after a stand up.
You know, if you're hungry, go with it.
Anyway.
After last call, they know what they're doing.
They know exactly what they're doing.
Smart.
Thank you, Jack.
So I'm sitting there and a guy comes up from behind me
and puts me in like a headlock.
He goes, I know this guy, the internet or whatever.
I'm like, yeah, yeah.
And he kind of does like a noogie noogie thing, right?
Fucking guy.
And because I'm little, they think that they can do it.
Which they can.
No, they can't.
And I don't want anybody to-
But they do, but they do.
Nobody ever touched my best friend ever again.
That's enough.
No more headlocking.
It's not nice.
Or after a show, if I'm in the south, people will pick me up.
I know.
I've seen it.
Hey, my little fucking guy right here, man.
Hello Kitty, man.
Come here, right?
Hey.
You know what I mean?
And they'll pick me up like I'm a little fucking statue or whatever.
They simba him.
They go, ah, Steven.
Yeah.
They think of this.
Yeah, they go, hey, man.
Good comedy.
Woo-hoo.
My little guy.
You know what I mean?
I fucking hate it.
Yeah.
Anyway.
You know that, I get some of that too.
They don't lift me up.
They'd get a hernia.
But I know that feeling of familiarity and part of it is our fault cause we got
a similar good
times energy.
Yeah.
We send that out to the universe.
That's why we have some of our successes because that comes through in what we
do and that's
a blessing and a curse.
Good times energy.
Good times energy.
Yeah.
You don't have good times energy.
No.
You have bad times energy sometimes.
Bad times.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Grim almost.
Dark.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But why can't you be more silly like Jack and I?
It's not-
Because we're good times people.
It's not in my nature.
It's not?
There's yin and yang in the universe.
Ah.
You're yang.
I'm yin.
No, we're more yin.
You're yang.
No, I'm yin.
You're yang.
Is yang white or black?
I don't know.
Look it up.
Which one's yin and which one's yang?
Hey, I want to know what the color is.
We're overpowering the dark side here.
I'm messing with the balance of power of your yin and yang right now.
Yeah, woo, yeah, woo, yeah, woo, yeah.