Name: Bobby Finds Out About Matt Rife's Dad
Uploaded: 2024-09-04T15:45:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Finds Out About Matt Rife's Dad' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-09-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Finds Out About Matt Rife's Dad' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-09-04. Transcript available.

how's your father seen your uh my dad's dead so probably probably his ghost oh
yeah that's that's
that's the worst as a youngster you saw it right i don't know he and my mom
weren't even together
oh okay how old did your dad die when you how old were you when he died one and
a half oh my god
well his dad just died yeah for real i relate how recently four years ago that's
a long time yeah
how old was he he was like 80. 106. but so you never knew your dad no no he was
like i think he was 21
when he died oh how did he die oh oh wait let's guess oh yeah yeah yeah yeah
let me guess always
level let's guess oh i know he was 26 21. 21. okay i got it yeah yeah what's
yours 21st birthday your
dad goes out right he's partying yeah he's having a good time uh somebody goes
uh what was his name
mike mike mike mike let's get on a motorcycle let's do wheelies yeah yeah right
we're doing wheelies
yeah really bad accident uh-huh he's alive okay he's totally fine yeah he goes
back to the bar
drinks some more parties uh-huh picks up a strange man to hang out with to go
do
go rootin tootin right goes back to the man's apartment boom geoffrey damer
whoa i'm not gonna
confirm or deny until bobby pitches this okay go ahead oh mine oh i'm yours i i
know it fully what
it's almost as if i was there okay what happened fourth of july your dad was
naked a bunch of his
buddies in the south arkansas in a backyard he's not from arkansas he's from ohio
before he happened to be
there on a business trip yeah he was traveling your parents didn't know your
mom didn't know
what was he selling on the business he's a salesman right firecrackers who's
selling firecrackers it's
fourth of july state to state yeah yeah and he's going to the south to sell
this you know i mean
it's actually a trucking company right and it's this the guy the head of the
trucking company's
house he was like aim it your dad was like hey man i have the best firecracker
so they have a thing
they get drunk they're all naked right it's like eight at night that's how you
sell firecrackers right
right you know i mean and you know there's no gay things going on what what no
one even said i know but
i just you know they were they were you didn't know my dad yeah i didn't know
your dad yeah they were
like they're poking yeah yeah you know what i mean and then your dad why you
did this he threw a
little firecracker in the air a sparrow came down bit the firecracker right and
started going doing
loopy loops uh-huh like you know what i mean like a sparkler in the sky right
right and then your dad
was naked you he bent over to get on the firecracker the spirit goes right into
his butthole with the
firecracker well yeah yeah yeah right there was an explosion but he doesn't die
wow but it hurts
so bad so bad and here's the thing they all start laughing no for the trucking
company that's how you
agree you it and they see the f word for some reason yeah why i don't know why
okay it doesn't
mean he's gay no yeah yeah yeah and they spin on him too wow i don't know why
it's the south right
but the sparrow's still alive dude my mom listens to sparrow my mom listens to
every podcast i do
this can't be the one the sparrow's still alive dude it's unbelievable it's
like a zombie sparrow
right the wings are gone spine face right and out of the left eye of the sparrow
comes out a little
tapeworm oh wow this tape room right has the first case of covid way before wuhan
did a little chinese
tapeworm yeah in the eyeball of the sparrow wow what are the odds right yeah
your ass your dad's
ass exploded he's still alive he's still not your dad you're right but he's
like call the cops strong
guy he was strong yeah he was he was his hands were in the dirt the earth
scratch scratchy don't call
the cops please or the police i mean ambulance yeah he doesn't even know what
he's saying he said cops
first uh-huh he doesn't even know what he's saying because he's so fucking
honestly right no dude
this fucking little fucking maggot no yeah not a maggot try again this um worm
it's a little worm tapeworm
tapeworm yeah you know in the south they call it both oh that you do you're
right yeah right it goes
inside the opening of his ass and he gets infected he dies two weeks later
anyway wow what really
happened it was a chinese tapeworm are you serious from the arkansas yeah how
did you know that dude i just
just fucking know you read about it yeah yeah you yes anded a sparrow in his
ass
that could have been it sounded reasonable i know i'm so sorry just good old-fashioned
suicide
oh shit i know i know oh good old-fashioned good old-fashioned the american
dream really was he um
depressed no he was stoked yeah he was yeah he was a happy suicide got a new
gun yeah
he was on some uppers i know i mean see you later son
my god was he happy yeah he was amped what i was asking what i know sometimes i'm
walking on sunshine
jesus i'm so sorry all that i'm so sorry it was rude that's it yeah what i'm
saying is that sometimes
you know no yes if he was drunk right he wasn't and he was thinking right that
maybe you know i mean
that's what i was asking so he had you at 20 years old yes wow and
unfortunately took his own life
a year later i'm so sorry man yeah i want to believe that didn't have anything
to do with it
it did almost certainly yeah had he known you'd be selling out arenas he would
have waited probably
would have waited yeah would have stuck around i would think so yeah you know
there's also there's
also a theory my own theory right he uh he's not even on the birth certificate
because he did he
didn't think i was his because my mom he and my mom weren't like officially but
did you think your
mom was hooking up with other guys yeah definitely thought she was okay she swears
no right
right right i don't think i look anything like my dad at all and my mom always
tells me i look like
this guy she dated in high school like before she met my dad so what the dna
test i've thought about
it you got about it dude you got to get a dna test at the 23 now it's like but
i don't want to like
now that i'm where i'm at in my life now i don't want to like go and tell this
guy hey by the way
you got a golden ticket no you don't give him money he doesn't get well yeah no
he earns it
he earns it but it's like what could what could i use him for at this point
made tour manager tour
manager not a bad idea sneaker cleaner okay okay can i just all right let me
just say something to you
matt okay that was the grossest way i've ever said so anyway like you were
drinking it from a hose
okay come on let's move on the fact that you guys have won any gold medals is
insane to me yeah yeah
we ping pong let's see that yeah anyway um congrats by the way it's huge it's
bow and arrow too
archery archery yeah yeah we kill it yeah you did okay okay anyway can i ask
how many gold
medals does korea have right now oh my god are you korean yeah for now off 21
total medals nine
gold yeah it's amazing yeah it's pretty good not amazing it's not america 33
okay yeah what'd you
say britain britain is 33 yeah yeah us 61 medals come see about us wow yeah you
know you know who's in
first yeah but we're also the size of delaware korea yeah what does that have
to do with it it's a
small country dude so what go back up to the top yeah france isn't that big no
france is not big at
all yeah okay is it bigger than korea though everything is everything's bigger
okay no okay
anyway that's i wouldn't i forgot even what i was going to ask matt man you're
talking about his dad
how did your dad die oh no choked on a piece of kimchi
it was awful to watch dude he was there he wouldn't do the heimlich or anything
yeah yeah i thought he was saying i'm joking because we were just
fucking around the whole time we're eating dinner oh what i'm saying uh let me
go for
it this is a serious point he died of natural causes he does a natural
Yeah, woo-hoo. Yeah, woo-hoo. Yeah.