Name: Bill Burr Roasts Bobby Lee
Uploaded: 2024-09-13T18:22:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Roasts Bobby Lee' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-09-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Roasts Bobby Lee' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-09-13. Transcript available.

What the f***, dude?
What are you guys doing?
Bill.
I was right next door.
What the f*** are you doing?
Are you being real?
I didn't f***ing do this.
Yeah, who did this?
Go that one, Blue.
The Blue.
Can you do the Blue?
That's fine, that's fine.
Okay.
Bobby Lee, this is your life.
Wait, wait.
Did you know Bill was coming?
No, I was upstairs.
I was editing my next...
Stupid special?
Stupid special, yeah.
You know, his editing suite is right here.
Oh, it is?
Neil Brennan was up there.
Oh, wow, wow, wow.
I didn't know, yeah.
This is like,
what the f*** am I doing here?
Wow.
Ladies and gentlemen.
Ladies and gentlemen.
The great Bill Burr.
Can I tell you something?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How many times,
every f***ing night we see each other at the store
and now you're acting,
we'll be acting like we don't live in the same city.
Like, oh my God,
like I came in from f***ing New Zealand.
It's the last person I ever expected
to come into the f***ing studio.
All right, do it one more time.
But not as long.
I just came in.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I just came in.
I thought they were on TV.
I was like, wow,
that's f***ing HD9 or something.
That's so f***ing clear.
Wow.
Well, I didn't want to interrupt you guys.
I know that you guys have like a,
you guys have a close personal bond.
Yeah.
We're so joyous that you're here.
What are you talking about?
How happy does this make you?
You blushed.
I did.
Yeah, and, yeah.
Well, you know what,
because I saw him walk in and I thought,
is this a bit that these guys set up?
Yeah, you guys set, you know.
Oh, I see.
Somebody just said,
you just missed Bobby Lee.
So I was like looking in,
I was looking for your car.
The first thing I was looking for
was a bumper hanging off the f***ing thing.
But I don't see his car here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The perpetuation of the stereotype is real.
Bobby got in an accident
the first month he had the car.
And then now again.
Yesterday, yeah.
Yesterday.
Yeah, but it has nothing to do with Asians.
It just has to do,
he doesn't care.
Dude, that's serious.
Thank you so much for saying that.
I know.
That's what it is.
Is that the race?
I don't want to bring my people down.
No, it isn't.
Yeah, it's because I don't give a s***.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean,
it just so happens you got into two car accidents
within a month.
Yeah, okay.
I know, but does that offset Tokyo Drift?
Yeah, no, yeah.
Probably not.
Yeah, probably not.
One Bobby Lee erases all of these f***ing guys.
Yeah.
I'll say this one thing
and I'll let you guys get back
because I'm sure you guys had an agenda.
No, we didn't.
No, no, dude,
what are you talking about, Bill?
Yeah, nothing.
Yeah, what are you editing?
Your special?
Yes.
Okay.
Congratulations.
Do we have a name for the special?
I don't know yet.
I'm working on it,
but that was just absolute hell
for four f***ing hours.
Why?
Who the f*** wants to watch themselves
for an hour?
Yeah.
For four hours.
It was horrible.
It was f***ing horrible.
I'm going to go up there.
I got,
I got,
you know,
so now,
now,
you know,
we've got,
we all the,
I think I got to go in tomorrow
and then I'm done.
Where'd you shoot it?
I shot it in Seattle.
Look at us f***ing doing
this little promo thing.
Yeah, it works.
Yeah.
I feel like one of these
younger comics,
how they just f***ing know
how to like promote
the s*** out of this stuff.
They're amazing.
Well,
let's talk about it
because I,
part of the reason I signed up,
Hulu is because of you.
Oh, okay.
Well,
because Hulu brought over people
from Netflix
and they were like,
I can't shake this guy.
Yeah,
I keep following them.
Well,
the reason why I went over
to Netflix
is because the head guys
over there told me
there's not enough room
for two gingers
on one streaming platform
and we're going
with the younger,
cuter one.
Yeah,
yeah,
when you guys see each other,
is there an extra bond?
Yeah,
well,
there's a,
we have a,
uh,
uh,
the sadness.
Yeah,
we've had the same kind of pain.
Yeah,
yeah,
yeah.
A similar pain through line.
Yeah,
but Bill,
were you bullied growing up or no?
Yes.
Oh,
I didn't know.
Yeah,
every,
every,
I,
I was sort of in the middle,
like I bullied some kids
and then I was bullied
and then I hit puberty late
so then that was the end
of my fighting.
I was 17
when I got my first hair.
How old were you?
Oh,
Jesus Christ,
I didn't,
I didn't have a diary.
Oh,
you didn't?
I wasn't 17.
Wow.
Because when I got my first hair,
it was,
we celebrated.
It was a big deal.
Yeah,
we got a cake,
everything.
What about under the arm though?
You still don't have a lot of armpits.
No,
no,
I still have some.
Just a cute,
oh,
there's a cute,
oh,
okay.
Yeah,
yeah,
but I remember the first hair,
I think it's still there.
You still got it?
Yeah,
even when I shave it,
I keep that one.
Bobby's starting to look like
one of those old career gamblers.
What?
That's a good thing?
Yeah,
it's a great thing.
Yeah,
you got,
you got that,
if you didn't have the scorpions thing on,
there's something.
You're like Phil Locke,
you're like one of these guys.
Yeah,
like that guy.
Oh,
that guy.
Yeah.
Wow.
That guy knows Pi Gao.
You know what?
I don't know what the name of the clip is,
but one of my favorite ones I ever saw,
and then I'm going to leave.
No,
don't leave.
That's going to be the bit.
Please don't leave.
And then I'm going to leave.
I was watching this World Series of Poker,
and this guy fucking goes all in.
And you know when they go all in,
they start walking around,
like here comes the river.
And it was like,
he had a 98% chance of,
I don't know poker,
and then all of a sudden the flop came,
and then it fucking went down to like 7%,
but he didn't know.
And then the last thing hit,
and he fucking lost.
And the guy literally just,
he literally just goes,
ah,
yeah,
and he fucking just stormed off and sat.
There was this little two-step thing
to where the crowd was.
He sat down on those stairs,
and he put his hand like that,
and he cried for like 15 seconds.
Yeah.
And then he just collected himself
and was like,
all right,
and just moved on.
It was like,
it was unbelievable.
How much money was it,
do you think?
Millions.
Yeah,
it was like,
wow.
And he got totally,
there was no way,
what do they call it,
a bad beat?
There was no fucking way
he should have lost it,
and he did.
And he went,
ah,
yeah.
He sat down like,
for like 15 seconds.
You're not,
you're not a gambler,
are you?
Nah,
I just don't,
I don't,
I don't have the patience for it,
and I just,
also,
I just,
I get it.
I get it.
You're winning,
and I'm losing.
Like,
why would I do this?
Well,
we get our dopamine hits
from other things.
What do you get your dopamine hits from?
What's your,
what?
Learning new shit.
And what it really is,
it's not a dopamine thing,
it staves off my depression.
So that's what I've learned.
Like,
I stay out of the,
when I get free time,
nothing makes me sadder
than free time.
Yeah.
And just sitting there,
thinking about life,
shit that happened to me,
it just makes me sad.
So I'll literally,
like,
you know,
you know,
the usual bullshit,
go to the gyms,
play drums or something like that,
but learning something new
because I don't know what I'm doing,
and I have to like,
listen to that,
makes me not think about other shit.
Can you give us some new shit
that you've learned?
Give us some new shit.
I'll tell you,
I wrote a,
I wrote a fucking Harley Davidson Road Glide
the other day up in Santa Maria,
and I've never ridden one.
I was always intimidated
because it was so fucking big.
I've ridden smaller ones,
and it was one of the fucking,
do you remember in Ferris Bueller's Day Off
when they were going over the hill?
Yeah.
In the Ferrari,
it was like.
The valets, right?
Yeah,
so like we rode through the hills
and everything,
and first of all,
it's a fucking,
the scariest thing is going slow on them
and stopping
because it's like,
oh my God,
is this thing going to tip up?
Once you get going,
it's a Cadillac,
and you had that big,
what do they call it,
the fairing,
so you weren't,
you know,
your neck doesn't hurt,
you're just cruising,
so he took us up into the mountains,
and there was literally nobody on the road.
We went down one street,
and there was all of these trees
just on one side,
and the trees were curling over
like you were surfing in like a tube,
except you're on a bike,
right?
Wow.
It was amazing,
and then we came out of the valley,
and me and Dean Del Rey,
we switched bike,
I got on the sports glide,
he got on mine,
and then the guy took us through,
and then they knew I was comfortable,
and they started tearing down the fucking,
like the valley,
like mountains are coming up like that,
so you know,
I kicked it up two,
three times,
whatever,
so I thought I was doing like fucking 55,
60,
and I looked down,
I was doing 90.
Wow.
And I was just,
woo!
Wow.
Dude,
that,
that,
yeah,
that was like,
you know,
the adrenaline thing to the heart,
that was,
that lasted like a week.
Wow.
I couldn't stop fucking thinking about it,
and,
do you have a bike?
Yeah,
I have a,
I got a little one,
I got a little Royal Enfield,
uh,
Can I tell you guys what I learned?
But I don't drive around in LA streets.
Can I tell you guys what I learned?
Can I,
can you not?
Can you,
can I,
can you talk the whole show?
He learned something.
I learned something.
Listen,
let Asian Bobby Kelly say something.
Forget it,
you know?
No,
no,
I want to hear it.
It's a supportive environment.
Go ahead.
All right,
so I'm going to tell you,
I mean,
so Stardew Valley,
right?
It's a video game I play.
See,
already,
dude,
I don't like that.
Because it's not entertaining.
Go ahead.
Well,
I'm just telling you something I learned.
You know,
I've been playing that game for years,
right?
So you can go to Robin's carpenter shop and actually move the greenhouse.
It doesn't have,
because,
you know,
I've always built around the greenhouse.
Like,
oh my God,
there's not enough space,
but you actually can move it like next to your house.
Is that one of those games where you're building a village and then you fight
other villages?
There's no fighting in that way,
Bill,
so nice try.
I'm just asking.
No,
it sounded,
it sounded interesting to me.
Yeah,
yeah,
no,
it's.
And I understand that response because I've done nothing but give you shit for
20 years.
Thank you,
thank you,
thank you.
I get it.
So it's like,
it's no,
it's a farming game.
Is it more exciting than the giant melons?
Bill,
would you get one of those big bikes?
Would you ever want to invest in one of those big Harleys or no?
Uh,
100%.
So this is the next move.
It was,
yeah,
I'm going to do the gingered wild hogs.
Please.
Totally.
Please pull me in.
The midlife crisis.
No,
it was one of those things just like,
uh,
you know,
I just feel as an American,
at some point you have to ride one of those big,
those big bikes.
Just do it.
Even if you just do it one fucking time,
it was,
it was like,
I would never,
like,
I don't ride around here.
Like,
I'm always in like the middle of nowhere.
Like,
you know,
when we were in Colorado,
we were up in Boulder,
went to the Rockies a little bit.
And it's just,
just stay away from people.
But like,
uh,
I had a bike out here for about six weeks,
about 10 years ago.
And the level of texting,
it was like,
everybody was like,
had like three beers in them.
So there was just all of this drifting.
And it was,
uh,
it was fucking terrifying.
So,
uh,
I remember like,
I never pray,
but I literally,
I was all the way out in,
uh,
somewhere on the,
near the beaches or whatever.
And I said a prayer.
I said,
God,
if you get me home,
I swear to God,
I'm never riding this again and I'm going to sell it.
And I did.
And then I,
uh,
I fucked up like an addict.
I rode one when I was in,
um,
I was in Austin and the MotoGP race was there.
That's the formula one of bike racing.
I fucking love that shit.
And they had this thing on Saturday where like the dads,
you know,
all the dads could go there and they called it the victory lap.
And I had not ridden a bike in like 10 years.
So I said,
I think I want to be in the back.
I want it.
Cause it was like,
I felt like it was a hundred guys.
And I was like,
I want to be in the back.
I want to be in the back.
Cause I don't want to be going fast or anything.
And they said,
no,
dude,
you want to be in the front.
You want to be in the front because we're going to be going like 25,
30 miles an hour,
40,
maybe on a straightaway.
But those guys in the back,
they wait,
they wait like two minutes and they wait.
And then those guys,
you know,
the guys get the full fucking leathers on.
So I said,
all right,
good.
So anyway,
I did that and I was so thrilled that I still remembered how to do it.
And then it just,
it just,
it's back.
It's just,
yeah.
It's itch.
Have you ever ridden a bike?
Never have.
Oh my God.
But I've ridden like a bike,
a bike.
Not a bicycle,
bud.
Okay.
A bike,
a bike.
Yeah.
That's,
that's what they call it.
Like,
you know,
like,
you know what I mean?
Like a standard bike,
bike,
tan.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
You look tanner.
Do you do somewhere tropical?
No.
Okay.
You have a nice tan.
Oh,
thank you.
Yeah.
Thank you,
Bobby.
That's very nice of you.
Yeah.
This is our new,
Bobby,
this is our new relationship.
I don't like it.
Why don't you like it?
Fucking hate it.
He's so nice to me.
You've been so nice to me the last couple of years.
I was always nice to you.
I just did it in a dysfunctional way.
Yeah.
I always trashed you because I loved you.
I love you too.
Now I can look sort of in your eyes.
It's a difficult thing to do.
Yeah,
yeah,
yeah.
To try to see them.
I mean,
you really are,
you are like extra Asian.
There you go.
There we go.
White eyes.
We call it white eyes when it does that.
Yeah,
yeah,
yeah.
This is how,
this is,
I don't know if this is maybe a thing with our skin tone and hair,
but I've seen you have clothes that I also have.
And I'm like,
is that because we have that thing that we pick?
Oh,
our limited color palette?
Yeah.
Well,
those shoes,
I have those exact fucking shoes.
I don't know anybody that has those shoes.
You know what I love about New Balance is people go,
oh,
that's an old white guy sneaker.
It's like,
well,
yeah,
I'm an old white guy.
Right.
Like,
I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing.
But you,
you,
but you Fitzsimmons and you,
you guys all have the same kind of attire.
Is it a redheaded thing?
Well,
to go to Patagonia.
Greg is not a redhead.
He's not a redhead.
Fitzsimmons is a redhead.
No,
he's not.
No,
he's not.
He's not one of your tribe?
No.
He never had,
when he did have hair,
it was dark.
He had brown hair.
I think when he grew a goatee,
he might've had red in his beard.
A little bit,
but look,
he had dark hair when he was young.
Oh,
look at that face though.
It's so pink.
I know.
I'm surprised.
Yeah,
yeah,
yeah.
I mean,
that's what I'm looking at.
Yeah,
yeah,
yeah.
What do you do?
Why are you making fun of other people?
What do you mean?
What if I can bully too,
dude?
I can look at somebody's photo and go,
they're pink?
No,
but I mean,
just the messenger is just,
it's just throwing me off.
You know,
and it's so funny that you say that,
Mr. Burr,
because I'm going to say this,
all right,
I've gotten,
gained some confidence over the years,
and I think I'm very good looking.
So how long?
You know what I would love to do?
I would love to take a Sharpie
and color in the skin between the mustache
and whatever the fuck that is on your chin.
All right,
I got to,
I do have to go.
No,
you don't have to go.
I love you.
Please stay.
We love you,
Bill.
Thank you so much.
Yeah,
and I,
you know,
I have positive feelings about you guys.
Yeah.
All right,
that's it.
That was,
that was it.
You know what I liked?
That was a,
a soft,
what do they call it?
A soft opening.
Soft opening.
Of my special.
Oh,
here you go.
Give him a big hug.
I mean,
this,
you're trying.
This is like,
you went to wardrobe.
You went to wardrobe.
Give him a big hug,
Bill.
Will you please?
I always wanted to know,
what is that Notary Republic stamp tattoo
that you have on your forearm?
What is that?
This one.
Oh,
God.
This is a bad one.
What,
my body?
Yeah,
why did you do that to yourself?
I know.
At what point do you just say,
I got to lose this?
Dude,
that is third trimester.
Give him a big hug.
All right,
I love you.
Thank you,
Bill.
Are you afraid of another ginger?
Come on,
bring it in there.
All right.
What a surprise.
Bill Burr,
everybody,
give him a round of applause.
Bill Burr.
What a surprise,
Bill Burr.
Bill Burr.

Bill Burr Roasts Bobby Lee

What the f***, dude?
What are you guys doing?
Bill.
I was right next door.
What the f*** are you doing?
Are you being real?
I didn't f***ing do this.
Yeah, who did this?
Go that one, Blue.
The Blue.
Can you do the Blue?
That's fine, that's fine.
Okay.
Bobby Lee, this is your life.
Wait, wait.
Did you know Bill was coming?
No, I was upstairs.
I was editing my next...
Stupid special?
Stupid special, yeah.
You know, his editing suite is right here.
Oh, it is?
Neil Brennan was up there.
Oh, wow, wow, wow.
I didn't know, yeah.
This is like,
what the f*** am I doing here?
Wow.
Ladies and gentlemen.
Ladies and gentlemen.
The great Bill Burr.
Can I tell you something?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How many times,
every f***ing night we see each other at the store
and now you're acting,
we'll be acting like we don't live in the same city.
Like, oh my God,
like I came in from f***ing New Zealand.
It's the last person I ever expected
to come into the f***ing studio.
All right, do it one more time.
But not as long.
I just came in.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I just came in.
I thought they were on TV.
I was like, wow,
that's f***ing HD9 or something.
That's so f***ing clear.
Wow.
Well, I didn't want to interrupt you guys.
I know that you guys have like a,
you guys have a close personal bond.
Yeah.
We're so joyous that you're here.
What are you talking about?
How happy does this make you?
You blushed.
I did.
Yeah, and, yeah.
Well, you know what,
because I saw him walk in and I thought,
is this a bit that these guys set up?
Yeah, you guys set, you know.
Oh, I see.
Somebody just said,
you just missed Bobby Lee.
So I was like looking in,
I was looking for your car.
The first thing I was looking for
was a bumper hanging off the f***ing thing.
But I don't see his car here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The perpetuation of the stereotype is real.
Bobby got in an accident
the first month he had the car.
And then now again.
Yesterday, yeah.
Yesterday.
Yeah, but it has nothing to do with Asians.
It just has to do,
he doesn't care.
Dude, that's serious.
Thank you so much for saying that.
I know.
That's what it is.
Is that the race?
I don't want to bring my people down.
No, it isn't.
Yeah, it's because I don't give a s***.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean,
it just so happens you got into two car accidents
within a month.
Yeah, okay.
I know, but does that offset Tokyo Drift?
Yeah, no, yeah.
Probably not.
Yeah, probably not.
One Bobby Lee erases all of these f***ing guys.
Yeah.
I'll say this one thing
and I'll let you guys get back
because I'm sure you guys had an agenda.
No, we didn't.
No, no, dude,
what are you talking about, Bill?
Yeah, nothing.
Yeah, what are you editing?
Your special?
Yes.
Okay.
Congratulations.
Do we have a name for the special?
I don't know yet.
I'm working on it,
but that was just absolute hell
for four f***ing hours.
Why?
Who the f*** wants to watch themselves
for an hour?
Yeah.
For four hours.
It was horrible.
It was f***ing horrible.
I'm going to go up there.
I got,
I got,
you know,
so now,
now,
you know,
we've got,
we all the,
I think I got to go in tomorrow
and then I'm done.
Where'd you shoot it?
I shot it in Seattle.
Look at us f***ing doing
this little promo thing.
Yeah, it works.
Yeah.
I feel like one of these
younger comics,
how they just f***ing know
how to like promote
the s*** out of this stuff.
They're amazing.
Well,
let's talk about it
because I,
part of the reason I signed up,
Hulu is because of you.
Oh, okay.
Well,
because Hulu brought over people
from Netflix
and they were like,
I can't shake this guy.
Yeah,
I keep following them.
Well,
the reason why I went over
to Netflix
is because the head guys
over there told me
there's not enough room
for two gingers
on one streaming platform
and we're going
with the younger,
cuter one.
Yeah,
yeah,
when you guys see each other,
is there an extra bond?
Yeah,
well,
there's a,
we have a,
uh,
uh,
the sadness.
Yeah,
we've had the same kind of pain.
Yeah,
yeah,
yeah.
A similar pain through line.
Yeah,
but Bill,
were you bullied growing up or no?
Yes.
Oh,
I didn't know.
Yeah,
every,
every,
I,
I was sort of in the middle,
like I bullied some kids
and then I was bullied
and then I hit puberty late
so then that was the end
of my fighting.
I was 17
when I got my first hair.
How old were you?
Oh,
Jesus Christ,
I didn't,
I didn't have a diary.
Oh,
you didn't?
I wasn't 17.
Wow.
Because when I got my first hair,
it was,
we celebrated.
It was a big deal.
Yeah,
we got a cake,
everything.
What about under the arm though?
You still don't have a lot of armpits.
No,
no,
I still have some.
Just a cute,
oh,
there's a cute,
oh,
okay.
Yeah,
yeah,
but I remember the first hair,
I think it's still there.
You still got it?
Yeah,
even when I shave it,
I keep that one.
Bobby's starting to look like
one of those old career gamblers.
What?
That's a good thing?
Yeah,
it's a great thing.
Yeah,
you got,
you got that,
if you didn't have the scorpions thing on,
there's something.
You're like Phil Locke,
you're like one of these guys.
Yeah,
like that guy.
Oh,
that guy.
Yeah.
Wow.
That guy knows Pi Gao.
You know what?
I don't know what the name of the clip is,
but one of my favorite ones I ever saw,
and then I'm going to leave.
No,
don't leave.
That's going to be the bit.
Please don't leave.
And then I'm going to leave.
I was watching this World Series of Poker,
and this guy fucking goes all in.
And you know when they go all in,
they start walking around,
like here comes the river.
And it was like,
he had a 98% chance of,
I don't know poker,
and then all of a sudden the flop came,
and then it fucking went down to like 7%,
but he didn't know.
And then the last thing hit,
and he fucking lost.
And the guy literally just,
he literally just goes,
ah,
yeah,
and he fucking just stormed off and sat.
There was this little two-step thing
to where the crowd was.
He sat down on those stairs,
and he put his hand like that,
and he cried for like 15 seconds.
Yeah.
And then he just collected himself
and was like,
all right,
and just moved on.
It was like,
it was unbelievable.
How much money was it,
do you think?
Millions.
Yeah,
it was like,
wow.
And he got totally,
there was no way,
what do they call it,
a bad beat?
There was no fucking way
he should have lost it,
and he did.
And he went,
ah,
yeah.
He sat down like,
for like 15 seconds.
You're not,
you're not a gambler,
are you?
Nah,
I just don't,
I don't,
I don't have the patience for it,
and I just,
also,
I just,
I get it.
I get it.
You're winning,
and I'm losing.
Like,
why would I do this?
Well,
we get our dopamine hits
from other things.
What do you get your dopamine hits from?
What's your,
what?
Learning new shit.
And what it really is,
it's not a dopamine thing,
it staves off my depression.
So that's what I've learned.
Like,
I stay out of the,
when I get free time,
nothing makes me sadder
than free time.
Yeah.
And just sitting there,
thinking about life,
shit that happened to me,
it just makes me sad.
So I'll literally,
like,
you know,
you know,
the usual bullshit,
go to the gyms,
play drums or something like that,
but learning something new
because I don't know what I'm doing,
and I have to like,
listen to that,
makes me not think about other shit.
Can you give us some new shit
that you've learned?
Give us some new shit.
I'll tell you,
I wrote a,
I wrote a fucking Harley Davidson Road Glide
the other day up in Santa Maria,
and I've never ridden one.
I was always intimidated
because it was so fucking big.
I've ridden smaller ones,
and it was one of the fucking,
do you remember in Ferris Bueller's Day Off
when they were going over the hill?
Yeah.
In the Ferrari,
it was like.
The valets, right?
Yeah,
so like we rode through the hills
and everything,
and first of all,
it's a fucking,
the scariest thing is going slow on them
and stopping
because it's like,
oh my God,
is this thing going to tip up?
Once you get going,
it's a Cadillac,
and you had that big,
what do they call it,
the fairing,
so you weren't,
you know,
your neck doesn't hurt,
you're just cruising,
so he took us up into the mountains,
and there was literally nobody on the road.
We went down one street,
and there was all of these trees
just on one side,
and the trees were curling over
like you were surfing in like a tube,
except you're on a bike,
right?
Wow.
It was amazing,
and then we came out of the valley,
and me and Dean Del Rey,
we switched bike,
I got on the sports glide,
he got on mine,
and then the guy took us through,
and then they knew I was comfortable,
and they started tearing down the fucking,
like the valley,
like mountains are coming up like that,
so you know,
I kicked it up two,
three times,
whatever,
so I thought I was doing like fucking 55,
60,
and I looked down,
I was doing 90.
Wow.
And I was just,
woo!
Wow.
Dude,
that,
that,
yeah,
that was like,
you know,
the adrenaline thing to the heart,
that was,
that lasted like a week.
Wow.
I couldn't stop fucking thinking about it,
and,
do you have a bike?
Yeah,
I have a,
I got a little one,
I got a little Royal Enfield,
uh,
Can I tell you guys what I learned?
But I don't drive around in LA streets.
Can I tell you guys what I learned?
Can I,
can you not?
Can you,
can I,
can you talk the whole show?
He learned something.
I learned something.
Listen,
let Asian Bobby Kelly say something.
Forget it,
you know?
No,
no,
I want to hear it.
It's a supportive environment.
Go ahead.
All right,
so I'm going to tell you,
I mean,
so Stardew Valley,
right?
It's a video game I play.
See,
already,
dude,
I don't like that.
Because it's not entertaining.
Go ahead.
Well,
I'm just telling you something I learned.
You know,
I've been playing that game for years,
right?
So you can go to Robin's carpenter shop and actually move the greenhouse.
It doesn't have,
because,
you know,
I've always built around the greenhouse.
Like,
oh my God,
there's not enough space,
but you actually can move it like next to your house.
Is that one of those games where you're building a village and then you fight
other villages?
There's no fighting in that way,
Bill,
so nice try.
I'm just asking.
No,
it sounded,
it sounded interesting to me.
Yeah,
yeah,
no,
it's.
And I understand that response because I've done nothing but give you shit for
20 years.
Thank you,
thank you,
thank you.
I get it.
So it's like,
it's no,
it's a farming game.
Is it more exciting than the giant melons?
Bill,
would you get one of those big bikes?
Would you ever want to invest in one of those big Harleys or no?
Uh,
100%.
So this is the next move.
It was,
yeah,
I'm going to do the gingered wild hogs.
Please.
Totally.
Please pull me in.
The midlife crisis.
No,
it was one of those things just like,
uh,
you know,
I just feel as an American,
at some point you have to ride one of those big,
those big bikes.
Just do it.
Even if you just do it one fucking time,
it was,
it was like,
I would never,
like,
I don't ride around here.
Like,
I'm always in like the middle of nowhere.
Like,
you know,
when we were in Colorado,
we were up in Boulder,
went to the Rockies a little bit.
And it's just,
just stay away from people.
But like,
uh,
I had a bike out here for about six weeks,
about 10 years ago.
And the level of texting,
it was like,
everybody was like,
had like three beers in them.
So there was just all of this drifting.
And it was,
uh,
it was fucking terrifying.
So,
uh,
I remember like,
I never pray,
but I literally,
I was all the way out in,
uh,
somewhere on the,
near the beaches or whatever.
And I said a prayer.
I said,
God,
if you get me home,
I swear to God,
I'm never riding this again and I'm going to sell it.
And I did.
And then I,
uh,
I fucked up like an addict.
I rode one when I was in,
um,
I was in Austin and the MotoGP race was there.
That's the formula one of bike racing.
I fucking love that shit.
And they had this thing on Saturday where like the dads,
you know,
all the dads could go there and they called it the victory lap.
And I had not ridden a bike in like 10 years.
So I said,
I think I want to be in 