Name: Sketch Rizzed Up Bobby Lee??
Uploaded: 2024-09-25T18:25:52.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Sketch Rizzed Up Bobby Lee??' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-09-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Sketch Rizzed Up Bobby Lee??' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-09-25. Transcript available.

You look like you got soft lips.
He does.
I just got so uncomfortable.
I don't know why.
You got excited.
You look like you're a good kisser.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, pretty good.
He's blushing.
You're blushing.
I'm actually blushing.
Yeah, it's wild.
Yeah, it's wild.
It looks like he drank alcohol.
He's pitching a tent.
Stand up.
Check him.
Uh-uh.
What if I was hard right now?
Oh, my God, that'd be so burnt.
We wouldn't be able to tell.
Don't worry.
We're bad friends.
Andrea Jin's calling me.
Should I pick it up?
Uh, yeah.
No, no, no, because he won't know.
He won't know who that is.
She's very nice though.
Andrea Jin, she's a comic.
Should I pick up a picture?
She's, she's, uh.
Good looking lady?
Yeah, she's, well, she's loop loop.
She's loop loop.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's who the character's based on.
Yeah, yeah.
No, she is, yeah.
Is she your sister?
Uh-huh.
Well, they all are.
Well, we're all brothers and sisters.
That's right.
So you say, what's up, brother?
And you should do an Asian, what's up, sister.
What's up, sister?
There.
See, that came out naturally.
Go down.
So he goes up, you go down.
What's up, sister?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's good.
What's up, sister?
Will you like that?
What's up, brother?
What's up, sister?
It's pretty good.
You know, dude, can we hang out or?
Yeah, I'm down.
Like, if I go to Texas, like, we gotta hang out with this guy.
All right, don't you, don't you just like to sleep a lot?
He is right.
No, no, no, wait, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, where would you learn information like that?
I, TikTok and stuff like that.
Oh, people see.
He knows who the fuck you are.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, yeah, he, you're.
Yeah, I sleep a lot.
I sleep a lot.
You're acting like that's an out-of-pocket thing to say.
Yeah, but here.
Your nickname is a slept king.
What the fuck?
I know, but I'll tell you.
I'll tell you why I sleep a lot.
I know.
Why?
It's that 285 getting you.
It hurts so bad.
I know what it is.
You know what it is?
No, you don't even know.
I just discovered.
I just discovered it.
Well, sometimes you're a little depreshy-weshy.
That's not why.
Well, sometimes you've eaten too many meals.
That's good.
That's one.
Yeah, yeah.
Sometimes...
Oh, God, I gotta tell you.
You're staying up too late playing video games.
Do you stay up till four or five in the morning playing video games?
No, just mostly kind of just can't sleep and then...
I don't really sleep too much,
but I'm staying up just chilling.
How many hours a night are you getting of sleep?
Probably four or something.
You know what you should do?
Next time you're three in the morning and you can't sleep, call me.
Let's chat.
Okay.
You know what I mean?
Let's chat with each other.
Check in.
Just roll over.
That's right.
You're right there.
Oh, yeah.
You know what I would like to do with...
That's very good.
Let's FaceTime each other.
We'll be in the band.
You'll be in your bed in Houston.
I'll be in my bed in LA.
We FaceTime and side to side and let's whisper a goodnight to each other.
Okay.
Would that be nice?
Yeah.
I'll go...
A little love in there?
Mmm.
God, wow.
You look like you got soft lips.
He does.
I just got so uncomfortable.
I don't know why.
You got excited.
You look like you're a good kisser.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, pretty good.
But, you know, that's...
How dare you, too, you know?
Hey, it's like a...
Yeah.
Yeah, you know what?
Your lips look nice.
Thank you.
He's blushing.
You're blushing.
I'm actually blushing.
Yeah, it's wild.
Yeah, it's wild.
It looks like he drank alcohol.
He's pitching a tent.
Stand up.
Check him.
Uh-uh.
What if I was hard right now?
Oh, my God, that'd be so bad.
We wouldn't be able to tell.
Don't worry.
Dude, that's a nut.
Dude, you're so on it today.
Thank you, sir.
Fucking, the sumo joke was great.
Great.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm 280.
That was good.
Yeah.
Small dick now.
Great.
Yeah, I love it.
He's hitting you from all over the fucking place.
You know what I mean?
Tell me why you can't sleep.
What's...
I have sleep apnea.
What's the fuck?
What?
Yeah, you do.
Yeah, you do.
What?
What?
You definitely have sleep.
No, but here's what the deal, dude.
You know what sleep apnea is?
Yeah, like where you can't sleep?
No, you...
Yeah, sketch, that is right.
That is right.
I mean, no, when you're asleep and then you can't breathe.
You stop breathing.
You stop breathing and then you just kind of wake up.
Yeah.
Sometimes you go...
Yeah, and I gasp for air.
It's the first time you ever laughed.
I like it.
It gives you joy when I struggle for breath.
Hey.
Yeah, sometimes.
Yeah.
No, I'm just kidding.
No, so what's great about my situation is so I'll just set my fucking clock at
3 p.m.
Why don't you just get a sleep apnea machine?
I won't.
I refuse.
Get one.
We'll buy him one.
No, I refuse.
Yeah, what is that a sleep apnea machine?
That's that goes on your...
You want one of those?
Yeah, I'll take two of them.
What?
That's a wiener machine.
One for me and one for my friend.
Do you want a wiener machine?
Sure.
We have like a hundred of them.
How much was it?
I don't know.
They gave...
Hundreds of dollars, but you can have it for free.
Okay, let's go.
Okay.
Have you used a wiener machine?
They used to call me the wiener machine.
Yeah, that's true.
High school.
No, I'm just kidding.
So, I'll tell you why we can sleep.
So, what I do now is I...
Dude, come on, dude.
That's insane.
That's what you need?
Is that your...
Is that what you...
Yeah, I'm not wearing one of those.
That's what you need.
Because Joe Coy wears that.
I'm not wearing that.
No, he doesn't?
Yeah, he does.
Oh, wow.
He showed me.
I'm not wearing that.
Okay.
So, here's the...
So, I wake up later so that when I wake up from a sleep apnea breath thing, I
go back
to bed and I go, since I don't have any time to wake up, I can just relax and
go, I'll
just sleep whenever.
Right?
And then here's another second thing I've been doing is I've been controlling
the ants.
Oh, you got control of the ants finally.
I don't know if you guys know this, but because of the heat, there's a war.
Oh.
And I'm telling you right now, I'm winning it.
And I'll tell you what I'm doing.
I got three things.
I got three devils.
What do you got?
No, the dirt devil.
Oh, the dirt devil.
I get it.
All right.
You have three vacuums.
I bought three of them.
You could have just bought one and used it a lot.
No.
No?
No, I need three.
You position them?
Yes.
So, they're in post.
He sets them up like a podcast.
That's exactly right.
One straight on, two from the side?
So, I got three of them, right?
Yeah.
I got probably 3,000 of the hotels.
And hotels.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right.
The traps.
Right.
They have the sweet juice on it.
I know it.
You know it, right?
It gets me sometimes.
And there's just hundreds of bottles of Raid.
And so, you're Raiding your whole house?
Yeah, and I'm having a war.
And I am winning this world war.
I bet you are.
And sometimes, you know what I've been doing lately?
What?
Crushing it with my finger.
You're a bad boy.
Yeah, I crush each one of them.
And I make a comment.
What do you say?
You want to fuck around with my fucking thick thumb?
Or whatever.
I don't know.
No, that's not right.
No, I go, what?
That sounds right.
Fuck you.
You know, I'll just say things.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Come into my house, bitch.
You know what I mean?
Look at that.
And I kind of, because they're strong.
No.
Yeah, they can hold 16 times their weight or whatever.
I Googled it.
It's still 1,000.
I know, but if you smash it just briefly,
their little legs still go, ooh, like that.
No, I got to get them.
Pancake.
Pancake.
I pancated them out.
I get it.
Right?
So.
Have you thought about hiring someone?
No, I will not.
No, yeah.
So, look at that.
That's a fucking, that's a building.
I know that's a leaf, but that's like a human being lifting a building.
It's like, it's, yeah.
Yeah, or like whatever, weights.
20 times their weight they can lift.
Exactly.
So, you know, so my point being is, is this.
You know, you're 200,000 times its weight.
No, I'm just, I'm just saying like, you know what I mean?
Can I just finish my thing or no?
Please.
All right.
So, at night, when I feel like the war is won.
Are you talking about the dick machines right now?
Yeah.
No, no, I'm talking about the ants.
No, I'm fucking.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Once I've re, and there's no ants in sight.
Yeah.
I go to, I can go to bed.
So, that's when the piece comes into play.
That's when the piece comes into play.
I hate them so much.
Don't you hate ants?
I don't really get them.
And if I did, I would hire someone to come in and clean them up.
Okay, good.
That's your thing.
You buy three dirt devils, you stay up all night.
Yeah.
Oh, but the dirt devils is great because it makes you feel like an X-Man.
You know what I mean?
Like, I'm Storm or whatever.
You know what I mean?
And they go, what the fuck?
You know what I mean?
And they get sucked in.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
And I love seeing them in the little fucking, what do you call it?
The little chamber?
Little window there.
Just, you know what I mean?
They don't know what the fuck that hit them.
Oh, this is a little.
You suck into.
Torture it.
Yeah, yeah.
They fuck, it fucks them up, dude.
The Lee Dynasty.
That's right.
Yeah.
Don't fuck with the Lee Dynasty.
Don't fuck with the Lee Dynasty.
Thank you for being a bad friend.
Love that.
Love it.
Yeah.