Name: Tim Dillon Roasts Alec Baldwin 'Rust' Situation
Uploaded: 2024-10-22T18:06:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tim Dillon Roasts Alec Baldwin 'Rust' Situation' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-10-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tim Dillon Roasts Alec Baldwin 'Rust' Situation' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-10-22. Transcript available.

- So are you in town for a while?
I love, first of all, you have the best parties.
- The parties are decent.
- Unbelievable.
- You go to these parties?
- Yeah, of course.
- Yeah, they're the best.
- Your parties are the best.
- Do I go to the parties?
You're there for five seconds and then you leave.
- I know, but I love just coming in and out, but-
- My godson met you and he's Chinese and loved you.
It was a big night for him.
- Oh, that's what we were godson?
Was it the Chinese kid?
- Yeah.
- Wow, that was great.
- It was a little Chinese baby.
- Yeah, yeah, it was a beautiful Chinese baby.
- That is the funniest part about Tim's parties.
You see a TikTok star and a little Chinese baby
all in the living room together.
- Caitlyn Jenner for no reason.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Pops on by that. - How do you know her?
- You know, we're both patriots.
We love the country.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- We love America.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- And I like her.
I'm fascinated by it.
I think she's got an amazing American life.
- Yeah, yeah, she does, yeah.
- Amazing American life.
- There's very few countries you can do what she did.
- Think about it.
- Well, explain it to us.
- Well, she-
- Let's say we're from a European nation.
- Yeah.
- All right?
- Yeah.
- What, Cyprus?
Is that one?
- It's probably more likely
that we're from an Eastern European country.
- We're from an Eastern,
like maybe like on the border of Russia and China,
so we kind of look, you know what I mean, Asian maybe,
and some people look white.
- It's very difficult to be born a guy,
become an Olympian,
become the spokesman for Wheaties,
marry a woman whose husband defended another athlete
who murdered his wife.
- Yeah.
- Then have a bunch of step daughters.
One of them does a sex tape.
They all become billionaires,
the most famous people in the world.
You then decide that actually,
you were a woman this entire time.
- Yeah.
- You get surgery to become a woman,
and then decide that the only way to save America
is to elect Donald Trump.
- Right.
- Wow, that's a pretty fucking American life.
- And become a female the year on Vanity Fair.
- Yeah, that's right.
- And then also kill someone somewhere in between.
- And then kill a woman in Malibu with your truck.
- Right.
- Did she really do that?
- Yeah.
- She killed a lady.
- Is that real though?
- Unintentionally.
- Unintentionally.
- It's an accident, there it is.
- There it is.
- And when was that?
- In Malibu, it was a couple of years ago.
- Wow.
- Mid-transition, right?
- That's right.
- She was--
- 2015.
- I'll tell you what, that sped up the transition.
- Wow.
- She was unfocused.
- You gotta finish the job at that point.
- She was unfocused.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, didn't Brandy kill somebody too?
- Yeah, Brandy killed someone in a car accident.
- Yeah, and then she kind of disappeared after that, no?
- 'Cause she didn't transition.
- Oh, is that what it is?
- You get one.
- Yeah.
- I think you get one car accident,
and there's a certain level of fame,
you get to kill one person in a car.
- Yeah.
- That is true.
- Well, let's go through another guy.
- Would you know anybody?
I don't know.
- That's killed someone in a car.
- A celebrity.
- No.
- Well, yes I do.
- What?
- Yes I do.
- Who?
- Ferris Bueller.
- Yeah, that's who I was thinking about.
- Yeah, he came with Molly Ringwald, right?
- In England.
- In England.
- When they were like 17.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- And then--
- Laura Bush, George W. Bush's wife.
- Wow.
- Really?
- Killed someone in a car.
- Another Bush.
- Ted Kennedy.
- Ted Kennedy.
- He killed someone in a car.
- How about this?
Another Bush, different family, the Anheiser Bush son,
Augie Bush maybe, killed a guy in college DUI.
- And then Sonny Bono got killed by a tree.
- That's right.
- That's right.
- Do you remember that?
- If my, if I was killed by like a really rich person,
let me tell you how easy it would have been
to get my parents to not press charge.
Let me explain how easy that would have been.
- It would have been a five minute conversation.
- Okay.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- They would have sent like not even their top people.
They would have sent some very low level attorneys.
My parents house in Long Island.
- Yeah.
- My parents, they would have just said,
listen, we can kind of, we can, you know.
- We can mitigate this.
- We can mitigate this.
- Yeah.
- We can make it go away.
And they would have said,
we think you deserve like $44,000.
My mother and father would have lit up.
They would have said, can we do 50?
And they would have said, absolutely.
And they would have given them 50 grand
and my mother and father would have dropped the case.
- 100%.
- Immediately.
- Wow, wow, wow.
- Especially 'cause you were, you were such an asshole.
You were a troublemaker when you were a kid.
- Well, listen, I'm from them.
They were troublemakers.
But the problem is in 1997, 50 G's, it's real money.
- Real money, pay off the house.
- It's real money.
- My parents were so immigrant.
They wouldn't even know the rules.
- Right.
- Oh, he died?
- Yeah, yeah, he died.
- Good.
- No, not good.
- Oh no.
- Right, there'd be an oh no.
- One oh no.
- Yeah, yeah.
- That's also what my parents would have said.
- My parents would have also.
- Oh no.
- Asian accents.
- But they assume it was your fault.
- Oh yeah, and even if they offered them money,
my parents wouldn't understand.
They'd be like, well, $44,000.
And my dad would be like, I don't have.
- Yeah, right, right.
- I don't have a pot de pot.
- They end up making your day pay.
- Right, and they're like, well, then we'll see you later.
- Okay, bye.
- And then my dad would feel like he got one.
You know what I mean?
- Yeah, he won.
- He won one.
Oh, father, we had to pay $44, we didn't have to.
- You're allowed to, yeah.
So a certain level of fame, I guess.
Who's at the cusp that got washed away then?
Who's killed someone that never returned?
Who never made it back?
- I don't know.
- Who never made it back?
- Just kill or driving?
- Well, look at what is this gonna do to,
what's his name, to-
- Who?
- Alec Baldwin?
- Alec Baldwin.
- He's fine, he went to court, he got acquitted.
- He did?
- Yeah, I think he was kind of on the back nine anyway.
- So he's done now?
- No, well.
- Yeah, he is.
- He's probably done.
- He's done.
- He's done.
- No more court.
- But he's so famous.
- I know, but he didn't do anything.
- Yeah, he killed a lady.
- I know, but I know.
- He shot a woman.
- I know, but I mean-
- I get it.
- You're on set, you're like, you think-
- You know why you're doing this?
He's doing this 'cause one day this accident
could easily happen to him.
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, really?
- You fucking around on a set, I could easily see this.
- I could do it with a machete, I think.
- You break all the rules.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Bobby, please be careful with this.
- The thing about Alec Baldwin is afterwards,
he didn't, and I like him,
and he's a great guy, I did his podcast.
I think he didn't seem super remorseful.
That was the problem, I think he had to turn on
the remorse a little more.
- Yeah.
- He was kind of agitated by the whole thing.
- Right.
- He was frustrated, he was kind of like,
"What is this?"
That was his attitude, he shot the woman in the head,
and then his attitude was like,
"What's, hey, what is this?
"What the hell's going on here?"
- On set, you think he did that?
- That and publicly in the media,
they were like, "You shot a woman,"
and he was like, "Listen."
You know, and that was the energy, so.
- Right, right, right.
- I think the interview started with, "Listen."
I think he said, "Listen."
- No, he did.
- Accidents happen on set.
- Yeah, and they're putting that woman away,
that armorer.
- Yeah, she's going to prison.
- Good.
- Yeah, she's going to prison.
The woman that supplied the gun.
- Ah.
- She goes to prison.
- I see, I see.
- Does the movie come out ever, no?
- No chance.
- I'm, "Rust."
- Huh?
- They finished the movie.
- Yeah, but does it come out?
- It's gonna come out.
- I hope it comes out.
- I just got cast in "Rust 2."
- What?
- I just got cast in "Rust 2," so.
- Really?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Oh.
- It's gotta come out.
- You should have makeup artist in the head.
- Yeah.
- It's coming out in 2024 at the end of the day.
- Whoa.
You think it'll do good numbers?
- Huge.
- Huge.
- I'd watch it.
- I'll watch it.
- I definitely want to see the scene.
They left it in there, didn't they?
- Oh, that's the scene.
- He shoots her in the scene, right?
- They should have a little thing.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
It was obviously.
- No, no, no, but there weren't,
wasn't he practicing a scene?
He was, they were doing it, they were doing the "Rust 2."
- Oh, they gotta leave that scene in.
- Yeah, that's what I mean.
- Yeah, they gotta leave that scene.
- I thought you meant, would they leave him?
- No.
- And I'm like, that's kind of a brilliant marketing thing,
but kind of insensitive.
- Yeah.
- What if they did that though?
- No, but they do, they're doing a walkthrough of a scene.
- Yeah.
- By the way, please God, please do, if, when,
when this gets released, please in very poor taste,
do at the end in memoriam and then her face.
Please do a very poor taste,
just to prove that Hollywood is still Hollywood.
- Yeah.
- Right.
- At the end, do in memoriam and then go,
don't even say her name.
What did she do again?
What was she?
- She was a-
- Cinematographer.
- No, she was the DP, right?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- Do the DP.
- So I saw, so you know Christopher Reeves?
- Yes.
- There's a new Christopher Reeves documentary coming out
and the kids, his kid children made it.
- Wow.
- And apparently it's really good.
- Their story.
- But so there was a, their story.
- You're right.
- Yeah, but there was a,
it's like a footage of him at the Academy Awards
like a year later and he comes out on the stage
and the audience are just, they're trying to be,
you know, emotional and be supportive.
But there's also some people are like in a horror.
- Why?
- That's how Brad Pitt kind of go.
- He goes back, I'll tell you why.
- Why?
- Brad Pitt's going, I've been on a horse.
- Yeah.
- Oh, right, right.
- What if that happened to me?
- That's it, yeah.
- Brad Pitt's like, oh boy.
- The audience was just kind of like, like this.
- That is kind of wild.
- It's wild.
- That picture, zoom into that photo.
That kind of looks like a Madame Tussauds.
- Yeah.
- Are you sure that's real?
That seriously looks like a Madame Tussauds.
- Yeah.
- It is.
- Oh, so put on like football gear or something.
I mean, 'cause the-
- Football gear?
- You want him to come out dressed like a Dallas Cowboy?
- No, but what I'm saying is the-
- 'Cause the body is withered.
- Got it.
- Yeah.
- So put on some-
- I get it, like baggy-
- Bulk 'em up.
- Bulk 'em up a little bit.
- Like a wrap outfit.
- I mean, he's just like, you know what I mean?
- Talk about Bobby Lee, the costumer.
- Yeah.
Woo-hoo! Yeah! Woo-hoo! Yeah! Woo-hoo! Yeah!