Name: Bobby Lee has the Ozempic Pukes...
Uploaded: 2024-11-01T17:00:18.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee has the Ozempic Pukes...' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee has the Ozempic Pukes...' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-01. Transcript available.

you're taking ozempic for no no let's just can we just go but let's rewind okay
go ahead okay
can i rewind a little bit okay first of all i have a couple of great
announcements to make
oh yeah i thought i thought i thought i think the penguin's the one of the best
shows i've
ever seen you do have you seen it no episode was very good okay don't tell him
don't give
it very good i haven't seen it yet i've been watching very good great british
bake have you
seen it not yet okay that's a great one too i'm on my gbb dude me too do do
welcome to the great
british baking show it's me beans on toast today you're gonna be cooking a profilerat
worth a little bit of filling all right so that was good sorry i do love the
show yeah i love it it's
such a good show okay when that guy got the handshake i almost cried i cried
too it was because he was
he was in shock so emotional yeah yeah yeah paul hollywood it was the gochujang
the gochujang
biscuits biscuits and he goes i've never tasted anything like this before yeah
and he also like rolled them
up like like like they're perfectly for they were perfectly yeah he goes he
goes you'll sell a
million of those he should yeah yeah can we get paul hollywood on this show
probably not or prue
anyway but you think penguin number one a great show so i need to watch it yeah
colin farrell and
no no don't throw up are you gonna throw up god i mentioned colin farrell he
throws up
yeah because i i want to suck his dick so bad my mouth gets lubed that good of
an actor oh bye oh my
god all right so hmm it's gonna be a tough episode it's gonna be great are you
gonna throw up again
please don't do halloween i'm gonna yak if you it's halloween please don't do
it it's spooky stuff
what spooky stuff if you throw up i'll throw up i'm serious don't do it please
don't throw up
i i i okay i'm already getting all right moist mouth anyway
what was that oh the romulus oh no let's go back to the penguin sorry are these
announcements
yeah yeah yeah all right well let me just do it okay oh yeah yeah whatever but
the real star
the character is sophia falcone is the you you fall in love with this character
sophia falcone
yeah yeah the name is incredible yeah this woman i mean oh i love her she kills
it she's from um
how i marry my mother how my mother mother no no what did i see her there's
something else she's
in that palm springs time travel movie yes yeah i like that
oh yeah kristen kristen malati yeah she kills it she's fucking awesome she her
character so anyway
let's go back to okay so then um alien romulus was pretty good too and let's go
back to what was
going on oh yeah so um i'll get to the vomit in a second can't wait okay but um
so then you
you know what happened so i was in for the last 10 days i've been in canada in
the woods yeah in three
hours north of toronto and i was bamboozled into doing something a favor for a
friend okay which
which is um an extreme camping thing but you can't talk about i get to talk
about yeah because it was
like one of the most miserable human experiences of my life i didn't eat i didn't
sleep i was frozen
solid wet all the time it kept raining the food it was just fucking terrible
damn and i learned how to
make traps i learned how to make a tent what's so funny that's cool no what
kind of traps squirrel traps
what what kind for what for food no pussy traps oh no no no no just laid money
out all over no no
like i put like well they put these like a granola like you take the wood you
take a piece of um a
rock yo what there's no way you know how to do that i learned how to do it i
know but you forgot it
already i know but i did a different thing what i made it my own okay i took
the crew girl out yeah
i put candy corn you just ate the granola so i can trap dwarves you catch a brad
williams yeah yeah
so i thought i think if you switch them out you can catch a dwarf that's smart
yeah yeah
so anyway that would be so funny to watch bobby setting up a trap in the woods
and they're like
where's all the granola he just ate all the granola out of the traps yeah yeah
what happened
so and then um so i i didn't sleep for like 10 days jesus i you know i was in
the call i got in a
fight with um somebody oh every i don't tell i don't give a fuck robert kelly
you know i mean jim was
the norton was the only one i didn't get fight with yamanika i fought with i
fought with the produce
producer the director it was bad wow and so then last night i um
raced to toronto to get on the flight flew here and then my ozempic was ready
but so i just what do
they got to cook it up it's like meth what do you mean it's ready yeah they put
in a fryer
deep fried they did right you have deep fried ozempic
so uh so what happened was um come get your ozempic baby yeah yeah so when how
it was
the pharmacy was ready for it so i went in my mind it was the dumbest move i've
ever made i go i'm
just gonna gorge now you're gonna eat as much as you can right now right and
then so i ate a lot
like a burrito and taquitos potato taquitos yeah oh my god i just taste the
stop it like right here
don't do it okay don't my god sorry happy halloween happy halloween everybody
okay so then i
i put the zipping in but i hadn't digested all the food but i haven't also
slept in a week so
i go i'm gonna sleep but while i was sleeping
i tasted um what i'm tasting now which is potato taco taquitos right yeah and i
was laying on my back
and i went you know like you know i know we know you don't need to know alien
romula let's go back to
alien romulus right you know when the fucking punctures no you know it is
better you know how
the androids in alien romulus when they get punctured that little white fluid
comes out of their mouth
yes i'm saying yes so we can move on i have no idea you feel it you taste it in
your mouth yeah so i was
like and i just literally and ask anyone why don't you have to ask anyone i don't
know who you would
ask ask them all ask everybody okay i've never vomited has he ever vomited i've
never seen no one's
ever seen me vomit wow because i don't do it i die a real all the time yeah
that's my thing that's your
yeah i go the other end yeah the other end i'm pro this this is closed closed
off that thing's wide
open wide open so then um then i raced over here and it's like so i don't know
wait a minute you know
you can't eat a full burritos and then go to bed too that's also bad outside of
ozempic you're not
supposed to like eat and then go to sleep that is double failure right double
failure yeah so are how
many are you on a dough like a regimented dose now of ozempic yeah you're
taking it yeah why did you do
this well do you want to hear the story yeah that's why i asked you it was
something that i was going to
keep a secret i let it out okay i was with a woman
we have to go on we're making out
first base
then she stopped boo yeah yeah yeah oh no her body her choice all right yeah
yeah her choice
her body her choice her body her choice right her body her choice and then she
looked and she goes i
just i'm not attracted to you yep and she goes you're fat you're fat no yeah no
that's boo
she called you and i go oh she didn't realize until that moment okay well damn
lyle
lyle oh are you playing a character right now yeah that was yeah the menendez
killers are hard dude
dude i swear to god dude that was good that was i'm gonna let you have that one
yeah you know
and i'll tell you why i liked it it came out smoothly yeah finally yeah it the
delivery was
perfect he didn't miss a beat yeah you didn't miss a beat and it hurt and i'll
tell you another thing
yeah it hurt bad yeah it hurt real bad so wait a minute did you have did you
insult her she said
you're fat did you insult her back no i go oh well then okay no you got to take
a shot back at her
and then um like what i don't know i don't i don't i have to see your beautiful
face no oh yeah
that's not good right no that's not gonna do it no i oh you know i just kind of
contemplated and i
went oh i think i have to lose weight because a woman called you fat i've been
also seeing it
a feeling it like you know i mean like you like when it's photos of me on stage
yeah you know i mean
it just doesn't look right to me well we photoshop those we make you look fatter
on those on purpose
you know like all the ones that you try to put on there i go you got to take
that off
you know it's been an issue for like a year because i'm like i don't like the
way i look a year
so you lied again she didn't realize it until then yeah it hurts it hurts again
thank you wait a
minute what you you're beautiful just the way you shut up no you are i'm done
but i also don't want
i'm on it oh that big is bad it's not bad yeah it is because you're gonna get
off and they say as
soon as you get off it's bad news bears i'm not gonna get off it you stand up
for life i don't know
dude i don't know what else to do but you're not even fat fat thank you you're
not fat you look good
you do look yeah she didn't that's not what she said who the who the is she she
has eyeballs
we have eyeballs yeah yeah but your eyeballs are um it come your eyeballs come
with an
already a um a feeling that's right right yeah because i i want to because i
feel people i don't
you don't just judge based on one thing no but we have history and there's a
relationship that goes
beyond a non-sexual that has nothing to do with looks maybe she needs to create
that with you right
but she didn't well then so why listen to her she was the only one that
complained what about
the other girls that's exactly right there's other girls i've said like um you
could lose some weight
you know she said you could lose some weight she was calling her doctors to see
if she can get me
it was a big that like this is six months ago rush ozempic yeah she's like i'm
going to call my
doctors and oh yeah to get you what now wow and i was like oh are there people
selling the oz on the
streets is huh it's hard to get that they're running out of it i'm just dude 10
days of survival
you know i mean and then you made it this you know because we're going to australia
and new zealand
and but we have 10 days before singapore we're not i'm not doing anything
between yeah yeah i'm gonna
rest my body well or exercise whatever whatever you mean but um anyway that's
what so that's why
i don't like that somebody called you fat because it hurt your feelings
obviously why don't you call
someone in this room fat to make it fair i mean i mean but really hit him
really hit him really really
yeah hit him hard dude yeah it's like when you take marshmallow and you over
microwave it
where it bubbles you know what i mean yeah yeah and what delicious yeah but you
that's not a human
body you're gonna love a human i was watching the great british baking show
yeah i'm sorry that wasn't
even it wasn't even funny what i did it was funny cut it out you know when it
was so mean i'm watching
the great british baking show you know when they're like they needing the bread
and then they put it in
the proofing drawer it has to proof and rise you know the guy opened the drawer
i'm not kidding yeah
as it proved i saw the show and rose and i remember i pointed and i go andres
yeah there's fancy yeah
my little proofing drawer better is that a better slam way better yeah but you
know what the funny
thing is is that i mean that's the only thing that i can get you with is your
pork tits because
everything else is perfect he has a beautiful wife and a beautiful daughter
yeah you have yeah you have
your whole you have a great life and it's been a pleasure working with you and
you're a talented
director and i don't think we'd be able to do the show without you oh fuck oh
my god
you couldn't say those words with that vomit didn't oh my god i had to swallow
that one in
yeah yeah yeah yeah it makes it work