Name: Chris Distefano Kisses Bobby Lee?
Uploaded: 2024-11-09T17:00:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Chris Distefano Kisses Bobby Lee?' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Chris Distefano Kisses Bobby Lee?' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-09. Transcript available.

but you look good i saw you yesterday joe mom i'm sorry i i you didn't take oh
no i tell you what
you did last day it was bull tell him what it told out of pocket yeah and insincere
and deceptive
and created chaos within my own life yes right and i don't like it i don't like
when you come into
town and you create chaos yeah and with your diabolical if you don't get me one
dude christy
cast thank you dude it looks like all cream dude it's gonna be great oh you
know i'm lactose
intolerant though you still drink lactose thank you it's gonna be good it's all
cream dude i like
carlis carlis got a carlis is in good shape on top he's got a chubby little
butt dude he's got
not a chubby butt it's a brazilian butt situation but you know carlis has got a
butt like like a
toddler but he's got i've never seen a toddler's butt but i i'm taking your
word if i pulled out
a picture of my three-year-old's butt yeah carlis you wouldn't know which one
is you know it's just
that it's just uh how many kids you have again three kids three kids yeah is
one of the butts of
your kids not good what my um yeah my my uh no they all got good butts from you
yeah no no from
their mom their mom has their mom has a really good butt and all my kids were
born with uh tattooed
lips on their ass cheeks ooh you like that you request that or no is that
genetics it's genetics
whoa can we go back to last night yeah let's go back so i'm at the improv i'm
sitting there with
some people a couple of girls some guys you know my agents are there too oh
really their assistants
yeah yeah and you come up from behind and then you kiss me on the cheek and
then you try to kiss me on
the lips and then you just kind of leave right and i had to explain it took
about 20 minutes to tell
people that we're not gay lovers like no dude i'm not gay they're like dude
that seemed like super
intimate and like you're gonna see your husband later tonight i go he just does
that we just do
that yeah and i just next time you do that in front of strangers right you need
to explain to people
that this is not just a heterosexual but then i said but then i said to you but
then i said to you
because you told me you were sad and then and then what i did was when i was
kissing you and then i
slapped you a little bit and i felt like i slapped you too hard no it wasn't
hurt hard because i wrote
to you i said and you never wrote back i said sorry that last slap was
unintentionally too hard no i
know that that's how i was mad at the slap i said i love you it's the kisses
that call me if you ever
want to talk yeah yeah and then i said i prefer slaps and kisses okay but i
just because i felt like
you know like we have a thing where you know because i kissed you once on the
head because i really
missed you and then i liked the way it felt so i kissed you more and that's
what it was yeah yeah i know
but just kiss me once even the king gets kissed on the cheek once one time i
mean if as a peasant if
i got to kiss the king yeah i'd want to kiss him more yeah but i would only
kiss him once and then i
kissed and then you were sweating was warm out yesterday and then i tasted
cabbage on my lips for
the whole the rest of the night yeah pickled cabbage kimchi joke kimchi joke
that was a really good joke
thank you yeah yeah because most people just said kimchi but i want to go to
the root yeah jomon you
know what jomon is jomon is oh let me guess j-o-m-o-n j-o-mong jomon is uh i
was set up black
guy's name yeah yeah pickled cabbage sliced up in a pan with egg then you put
it that you with egg and
grated cheese then you mix it in to dough and you kind of make uh like a
healthier bread that's just
it's not a food oh jomon yeah jimaxson yeah yeah it's one of the no jimone wayne's
it's the 12th
wayne's brother what is jomon what is jomon well i found out that jimones were
the koreans
before the koreans and japanese before the japanese really and they didn't look
they didn't look asian
so i don't know what happened they kind of looked like um
they kind of look like uh let me guess like um chris o'donnell okay what's his
name oh robin from
batman and robin chris he's gay right what chris o'donnell is gay he's why he
was gay in the movie
well robin is that was the gayest yeah robin is yeah yeah i don't think he's
robin gay um i think so
but because he's wearing pink and yellow and i mean red and yellow and green
yeah he's just kind
of like a sidekick kind of well robin's a gay bird right they should have
picked a different they
should have picked a different bird like what's like what's a good one bird of
paradise yeah or
like oh go more gay go more gay yeah yeah a seagull look at don's gay right don
depetta is my friend
i like that comes a lot dude him and i do we have a connection but you don't
see him if he doesn't come
with me you don't see him yeah no yeah of course not no yeah but he wants to
always reach out and
he doesn't feel comfortable if he could reach out to you and santino i told him
he can yeah but why
would you want to reach out he wants to hang out he gets lonely here and he
only sees you oh that's
right that's right that's right that's right that's right that's right yeah
yeah weren't you the one
that um back in the day so can i ask you a question yeah wasn't the guy um the
last time they got us
covid yes that's him yeah that's him yeah yeah that's on and i got and he
switched his subject
because he wore you you thought oh i'm going to grow this mustache to make it
look more you know
i mean but he just grows the mustache he doesn't grow the beard he i told him
it doesn't look good
yeah it looks like yosemite sam but yeah yeah but gay from hollywood yeah you
still do stand-up
oh but you you were supposed to come tonight but you're not going to come now
you said you told me
the other day i'll tell you what i got invited to something else what happened
well i got invited to a party that i never get him provided to and i think i
have to go
politically what what who's the can we can you tell tell me well yeah i can
tell you but um you know
what why are you smiling carlos is about to give you a black eye like he gave
his kid one
yeah no um it's this guy's sunny you know sunny he's sunny showrunner for beef
oh good right and
so uh you know ally all these guys are the asian community yeah they're gonna
go and i missed the last
year and i you know got invited this year and i was like i should go is there
one of them that you
want to get out though like between like i don't want to go to any of them i
don't want to go to
any of them i go to fucking i went to that one event a couple two months ago
was it asian no not
the asian excellence it was like the golden you know i mean phoenix or whatever
they fucking had
yeah yeah yeah and i went downtown they gave me a shitty table i'm with marker
cho all these
fucking people all the cool asians get in the front and i gotta sit there and
watch presentations and see
michelle yao's back of her head right i don't want to do it anymore man i want
to be around my people my
white dirty whites that were i'm a dirty white more than a korean dude yeah you
are yeah i like the dirties
man yeah we're good jaggies dude yeah yeah guys are still they don't they're
not good well kept
yeah yeah they're just so dirty yeah because yeah it's musky i'm getting sick
of it too there's too
many it's too much like it's don't say there's too many asians well no they're
all don't say there's
too many no it's not there's too many asians but it's just like there's it's it's
becoming a thing
now where it's like we i can't get in you know what i mean you could you'll
never get in i can't get
into the asian thing yeah yeah well you'll you want to get in i do yeah i think
because because
if i you know me i'm all about procreating but i don't want to make more white
people that's why
i have puerto rican kids oh that's right but the next thing is if if the things
end with me with
puerto rican i want to go to the asians so i want to i'm well you let me say
something i'll make a
call to george the kai i would love that hello yeah hello he's still alive george
the kai i go to kai
what's up yeah yeah yeah and i'd be like um are you sucking dick right now
he loves it wait where's andrew why isn't he here where'd he go we both you
know what's
the problem with you and i yeah we both have the same mental distribution that
like it just doesn't
there's no cohesive yeah it's just random i like it here's the truth it's it's
half the fan base no
matter what because andrew isn't here they shut the pot off anyway so there's
really nothing i
could go i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know okay well if you
got if you if you're
still here thank you i think maybe the reverse would be true oh if you if i
know i'm kidding
no let's not cut that out you'll get 40 percent yeah yeah i do find it
interesting that um and can
you cut this part out or no yes maybe oh maybe all right so it's interesting
that andrew called me
today and he's like wait because you're doing this movie and then like you're
going to cobs and this
and that it's like where you're not gonna be in town we gotta back like i go oh
i i it's i'm sorry
when you go out on and doing things right i fill in with another guy but he's
never done that
he's never filled in with another person when he went to australia to do that
thing with the good-looking whites you know what's it the george sheena yeah
yeah huge
actor whatever it was you know i mean whatever that staka naka yeah george snaka
naka
what's that movie sticky nicky sticky nicky dude yeah when he did sticky nicky
i had to fill in four
times or whatever right he's never filled in for me when i was on the road have
you have give me one
episode he did with uh little dicky yes he did one time here with little dicky
at the last studio
at the last two year one with kalilah yep oh he did okay well let's move on
then i actually think
i believe i even co-hosted one with andrew when you weren't here oh yeah i
believe i've been i've been
mistaken yes i've been mistaken and i'm wrong yes i i want to think i did two
episodes with him
actually and then andrew and i seriously started talking about how maybe him
and i should just do
the podcast yeah and okay and we started texting you and you got very upset
okay well so let's
do you know anyway um yeah i'm sorry i'm sorry i gotta put my hair on the side
you