Name: BANNED from Singapore????
Uploaded: 2024-11-23T17:35:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'BANNED from Singapore????' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'BANNED from Singapore????' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-23. Transcript available.

what do you got what is that what is this what do you got what it was yeah i
just found this
gay uh chinese guy i thought you'd like him oh okay what's his name luke if
that was my brother
my dad oh my god how awesome his name is luke luke luke chinese and you would
never
see luke again luke chinese yeah his name's just luke chinese he's the best
that's the three ways to say
gay and chinese yeah now can i i don't want to be racist against my own
ethnicity it's not really
why that's near you okay he's chinese no that's i don't say nationality that's
ethnicity yeah yeah
but he but he's asian isn't the ethnicity kind of he's chinese they're oh so
they're uber asians
they're the most asian oh they are okay they're the most asian my bad my bad
okay so he's full-blown
asian he's 100 asian yeah yeah and i'm just mid-drip yeah you're yeah yeah yeah
you're the
left i'm adjacent yeah you're right next yeah and without being controversial
yeah right does he have
a big head let me okay i would say i'm a cop that guy robbed you yeah right and
and and you gotta do
so um what was what did the guy look like when uh when the person that robbed
you did you get a good
look at him yeah he was a chinese guy yeah yeah he had like a shaved head yeah
or not a shaved head
but buzz hair a buzz haircut all right so i'm gonna get my illustrator come
here frank frank frank comes okay
so i haven't really because buzz head but like shape of the face shape of the
face
yeah just the overall shape of it like you're like it was overall yeah it was
what do you mean
well you said the overall shape it wasn't overall shape oh so that's sorry oval
all
yeah it was all oval so is it more wider or is it top to bottom i mean can you
it's kind of both oh
so just a gigantic like a moon kind of like a moon all right yeah let's just do
a moon like a moon okay so
and his body his body yeah yeah his body i remember it yeah yeah what's his
body like uh thick
oh so well fed right well fed not hungry so mars yes yeah it was kind of the
moon of mars yes and
then moon correct all right put that out i think they got them they got them
right away that's
interesting yeah chinese luke we love you we love i just want to let you know
we love you a lot of
followers yeah luke chinese he's killing it 141 he educates people on how to
say things in chinese
carlos just goes for how to say gay in chinese in case you go to china is that
what that's for
yeah we run into some chinese people in singapore interesting and we just might
and you got
to be you know you know when we go to singapore yeah you better be on your best
behavior they will
lock you up for around over there you know this right yeah yeah this is not not
a joke i'm not
making a joke well what around would it keep me in trouble i don't know you
know even asking hey
you guys have any holes against wall yeah where the holes at yeah yeah that'd
be like illegal
asking for holes 100 yeah yeah if you spit gum on the ground they beat the out
of you
well i already looked up look look up crazy laws in singapore it's nuts they're
gonna get you bud
chewing gum is not illegal all right so selling it is the penalty for selling
gum is up to a hundred
thousand dollars so we can't can we try to can we try to smuggle some gum
across them yeah that's why
we bring him a cone all right second one is bad for you here's here's the thing
smoking is illegal
everywhere and e-cigarettes are banned you gotta bring up you gotta bring a 12
pack of bubble yum
yeah bubblicious bubblicious if i don't see that in singapore dude we're gonna
have a problem also
write that down to carlos yeah write it down so public smoke guys smoke so
smoking is illegal in
most places e-cigarettes are banned if caught smoking public you could face up
to 800 fine oh
fuck it i have 800 connecting to someone else's wi-fi oh my god do that all the
time all the time
whoa wait that's punishable three three years i get oh no ten thousand dollar
fine oh my god
all right so jaywalking a thousand dollars i'm a jaywalker i'm jaywalking yeah
dude i jaywalk all
the time not flushing a public toilet leaving poop or piss in a urinal can
result in 150 that's it i'm not
going okay this one's gonna hurt you yeah walking naked at home there's a
penalty for walking around
naked at your own home insane feeding pigeons this one's from a cone that's a
criminal offense buddy
yeah yeah five hundred dollar fines that's on you dude don't get any ideas so
what's it singing in
public oh shit singing or reciting of so jet ski is going to be in deep yeah
illegal this is this is
what we want to we want to test some of these rules yeah i do so here's what i'm
going to do okay
i want to get a full pack of bubble yump stick it in my mouth right and naked
chew on it two cigarettes
dangling out of my mouth right and i'm going to be half naked yeah in the
streets and i'm going to go
it's a hard knock life for us it's a hard knock life for and i'm going to just
see how long it's
going to take oh my god you think quick yeah so fast oh yeah wait a minute
being homosexual
punishment is up to two years in jail oh carlos you can't go no we'll just go
go for one each all right yeah wait that's insane drinking alcohol between 10 p.m
10 30 p.m and 7 a.m
what does that say what doesn't say i don't see that oh yeah there it is holy
oh no oh what we
can't fly a kite that interferes with public traffic oh no what do we do with
all that kites
that sucked we were going to bring all those so what's busking is singing for
money on the street
busking you know when you're like singing with a hat i was gonna bring my
acoustic guitar how are we
dude we should be busking we should boss go can you imagine they fucking arrest
you for busking that's
insane firecrackers pirated content are banned pornographic stuff i mean we're
not gonna bring
any magazines okay oh wait wait i bet you money they block porn sites there
yeah you vpn gotta get a vpn
on your phone i have a vpn yeah then you can watch whatever you want that's
what i do yeah they block
porn 100 because i've always wanted to like because i've never really been to a
you know a um a strip
club at a asian country i mean either oh they have them there do they have
strip clubs in in in
singapore singapore yeah what's it called uh ten men's club that might be a one
you don't want to go
to this one why well because it's ten men you're healing yeah but what if what
if i know those men
wait what's oh shit john club to emperor we're it's a we're a bit run down the
women are beautiful
which makes for good eye candy well if they're honest okay so they do have it
out there i guess
but it doesn't really look like is porno is is carlos we gotta go hell yeah
hell yeah is porn illegal
in singapore i feel like it yes do we want to go
i don't know i mean they all right google if they have any michelin star
restaurants i mean that's
an incentive yeah i bet what's the best like top three restaurants because i
love food oh there you
go michelin guy to singapore yeah oh we so all right they've got a lot oh here's
the deal dude
we will go to all these no no i i need someone from our team to make
reservations before i'm being
real odette i'm writing this down yeah at least four of them i also have a list
of places that we
can go because my friend my friends that have gone have told us there's spots
that are great