Name: Bobby Lee's Cat is UNHINGED!
Uploaded: 2024-12-03T18:10:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee's Cat is UNHINGED!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-12-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee's Cat is UNHINGED!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-12-03. Transcript available.

Oh, my God, I feel so bad about that.
I haven't even talked about this, about the little bird.
I'm in the backyard with Gunnar.
Yeah.
Okay?
Oh, I know.
No, you don't.
And I look, and there's a bird, a baby bird had fallen from the tree, right?
And I look at Gunnar, and Gunnar's just, you know what I mean?
And I'm like, he's not going to.
Oh, yeah.
And he goes up and just breaks its neck with his jaw, right?
And then I grab Gunnar, bring him in the house, and now the, you know what I
mean?
It's like the little birds going, it was insane, dude.
Right?
It was making these, right?
And I call them, they come over, and then I go, you've got to keep this bird
alive.
No, I go, right?
Yeah.
Please.
His head is off.
No, it was just like, you know, and they came over, it died, right?
It died three days after.
Three days is pretty good, though.
Yeah, but I tried everything.
I tried everything.
But we love our friends in the sky.
That's my point.
We love the friends in the sky.
You should have taken them out.
Three days of suffering.
Yeah, you could have thrown them off the hill.
You drown them.
What?
Yeah, you drown them.
I'm sorry.
You drown them.
Excuse me?
You drown them.
You take that bird, you go to your pool, and you drown them.
Don't, don't, don't.
What?
Are you serious?
No, I'm kidding.
That's insane.
You would do that.
No, but my dog.
That's insane.
My dog has, my dog has come back with different rodentsy things or whatever,
and I do, but
you got to, you got to get rid of it.
Because it's suffering.
It's crazy.
It's awful when dogs do this.
It's a bummer.
But when they're living, just those three days for the bird, it's like, fucking
kill
me.
They fucking kill me.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know.
They're in so much pain.
I don't know birds, so I don't know.
I have a few.
If I knew bird, what?
I do.
I mean, I went to college with four or five of them.
Yeah, yeah.
But I still talk to one of them.
If there was like a 5% chance that he, it was just like, you know, a sprained
neck
or whatever, right?
That's what I called.
Because the worst would be like, I'll just leave it there.
Yeah.
And then day three, I go back there, and he's still, you know what I mean?
That would have been bad.
That's true.
What if he was paralyzed after that, you guys?
Little bird wheelchair.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Little bird wheelchair.
You know what's so funny, Andreas?
You're trying to make fun of me.
Like, I have empathy for the little creatures in the world.
You know what movie makes me really sad?
What part?
In Raising Arizona, when-
One of my favorite movies of all time.
Me too.
And when that, you know, the bad biker.
Yes.
Right?
And he shoots that lizard.
Mm-hmm.
I don't know why, even as a young man, I went, oh!
You know what else it is?
That actor.
Yeah, he's great.
He's so good, and you believe how he's so mean in his heart.
And the music is so powerful.
Yeah.
God, that movie was good.
If you haven't seen that movie-
Couldn't recommend it more.
It's, it's, because it's-
Coen Brothers Finest.
It does two things, okay?
In the same year they did this, there's two movies that are my favorite movies,
is this,
and also Evil Dead 2.
Mm.
Those two movies are just masterpieces, but-
89?
88.
Yeah, this movie is so fucking good.
And the beauty, her name is Ed, is one of the funniest things on earth.
Yeah.
He falls in love with a woman named Ed.
Dude, Holly Hunter kills that movie.
Because Ed is such a beautiful, like, guy, guy's name.
Look at Nicolas Cage, how young.
Do you know the concept of this movie?
They can't have a child, and so they decide they're going to steal someone's
baby, who's
an embarrassment of riches.
Yeah.
It's fucking great.
It's a comedy, though.
Especially when Nicolas Cage goes up with the ladder into the fucking baby's
room.
And Nathan Arizona's house?
Yeah, Nathan Arizona's house, and there's that five-minute montage of him
trying to handle
the babies.
Yeah.
It's so cleverly done.
It's so cute.
It's so good.
It's such a good scene.
There's another scene where he runs into his bedroom, right?
Because he has to, I forget what he has to do, and he sees a Playboy magazine
on his
bed, and he puts it underneath the thing, and then he walks away, and then he
comes
back, and looks at the Playboy, and then he brings it back in there.
Because he needs one more look.
It's like those little things that makes that movie so special.
That's such a great movie.
You got to watch that, okay?
But you should be studying for your test before you watch another movie.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So can we get you through school first?
Yeah.
Yeah, please, because I don't want you to fail after all the work you put in.
When you think about it, she started the show as a senior in high school.
I can't believe it.
And now you're graduating college.
That's so incredible.
It really makes me sad.
It makes me sad, too.
Because we're closer to death.
That's all that you and I are doing.
Oh, man, you really think of that?
We're crawling towards death.
There's death.
Hey, we're on our way.
Yeah.
And she's about to just grow into a fun adult life of fun and freedom.
But you know who my fucking guy is I look at to make me feel more like?
He's like sort of my, if he dies, I'm fucked.
Because he's a little ahead of me.
In the comedy scene?
Yeah, yeah.
He's a little ahead of me.
I see him all the time.
Marin?
No, and I look at him.
No, it's like, no.
Smaller.
Smaller.
Tinier person?
Than Marin, yeah.
Brad Williams?
No, in between.
Think in between.
Cold?
Cold hot?
Also, I'm older than Brad.
It's a guy that's older than me.
No, no, you're not.
I am.
No, little people are a thousand years old.
He's been living forever.
He's lived seven lifetimes.
Yeah.
Yeah, we have no idea how old they are.
You have to cut them in half and count their rings.
Yesterday, I saw Brad and I said a couple of things, some dwarf jokes in the
green room.
And I don't think it went over well in the room.
He's our boy.
I go, I just walked into the room.
I go, how's the carnival?
I don't know why I said that.
And then I, for some reason, everyone was in there.
I go, oh, they love candy corn.
I don't even know if that's a fact.
They do.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But my point is.
I always keep a pocket.
It's David Spade.
Oh, Spade.
So when I see Spade, because he's like five years older than me, and he looks
good.
He does.
So I just go, oh, he looks good.
So I'm going to worry when he doesn't look good.
Well, here's the problem.
This isn't apples to apples.
Do you know what I mean?
Don't do this.
It's like, this is a zucchini to pear.
Don't do this right.
No, because.
Don't do this right.
Well, he takes care of himself a little bit.
Why?
He exercises.
I went hiking yesterday for so long.
No fucking way.
Yeah, so long.
With whom?
By myself.
In the dark.
Where?
In the dark?
Yeah, the one by our house.
No proof.
And this time, you know where I go?
No proof.
There's a marker that I have.
You know, there's a first bench on that.
Yeah.
Now we go double that.
Can I ask you something?
Yeah.
It's so scary.
Can I recommend something as a friend?
What?
Please don't hike in the dark.
If you fall or slip or something bad happens, who the fuck is going to get you?
That's the thing I want.
Oh, you want to get you?
Yeah, yeah.
I'd rather you not.
Yeah.
You know, the only thing that I'm worried about is bobcats.
Yeah, dude.
You know what I mean?
I mean.
Weird people.
Or, yeah.
What about weirdos?
What about some guy that's waiting to fucking kill you?
Oh, yeah.
I mean, please don't hike at night.
Why?
There's other, there's people, families at night.
Oh, really?
I see them with the flashlights.
I've seen Alpha Dog.
I know what happens when you hike at night.
You end up in a pit.
Great movie.
Wow.
Please don't hike at night.
Okay.
I'm concerned for your well-being.
But do you want to hike during the day with me?
I would love to go hiking.
I'd love to.
There's a hiking hill right by our houses.
That's the one I went to last night.
Well, let me, let's go.
Yeah.
I kind of want to do it solo because I'll tell you why.
Can I tell you why?
Can I tell you why, though?
Can I tell you why?
Yes!
It's pace.
Oh.
You know what I mean?
I understand.
Yeah, I put my hands behind my back like an old Korean man.
I do that.
And I kind of mosey up there with music.
Shuffle would be the word.
I shuffle up there with music.
Yeah.
And I go as long as I can and I come back down.
I appreciate that.
I respect that.
I would love to hike with you, but I totally understand that.
That's fine.
Is there a gym by your house?
Because I want to join a gym.
Right down the street from you, there's a gym.
What's it called?
Equinox.
Equinox.
You know.
It's two miles from your home.
Yeah.
That's right down the road.
You want to be able to walk to the gym?
Yeah, because remember Dove Davidoff used to go to the one in Hollywood on La
Brea.
It's like that 24-hour boxing gym.
Oh, right.
I used to go there.
I used to like it there.
Well, that's way far.
That's way further.
I'm just saying I want something that's grungy because it's very Rocky-like.
You want something dirty.
Well, it's nowhere near your home.
Right.
You'll have to go somewhere far away.
Okay.
You know what?
There's an old saying and it's from a sitcom.
There's an old saying.
It's from a sitcom.
It's called Different Strokes.
You know what I mean?
What you talking about?
Willis.
Willis.
Right.
What you talking about, Willis?
Right?
Yeah.
That's what I want to say to you, dude.
That was the wrong sitcom line.
It really was.
Yeah.
You know, honestly.
Yeah, yeah.
I was trying to.
You know what?
I got it, Bob.
I got you.
There's an old sitcom line.
There is an old sitcom line that you should, that speaks exactly to you about
what we're
talking about.
Dynamite.
No.
No.
That one's definitely not.
That's not it?
No.
There is an old one that I got to tell you.
It's perfect for this to fucking teach you about this world.
Give it to me.
Give it to her, dude.
Did I do that?
Perfect.
Wait, what sitcom was that?
Family Matters.
That's fucking.
Steve Urkel.
That's Steve Urkel.
That's one of his catchphrases?
Did I do that?
I don't know if that is.
What?
Did I do that?
Did I do that?
Is that what you've heard of that?
Yeah.
Okay.
Where did you fucking grow up?
You don't know, did I do that?
I never saw that one.
Steve Urkel.
Even I know that.
Yeah, even the Spaniard fucking knows it.
You don't have to Google it.
I believe you.
But you made me think that I'm wrong.
Did I do that?
Did I do that?
I've met him a couple times.
Jaleel White.
I like him a lot.
Yeah.
He's a sweet kid.
I've heard he's great.
He's a nice guy.
Did I do that?
Yeah, he would break something.
Oh, I see.
I remember now.
It was fantastic.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
There he is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.