Name: Who Pooped in the Shower?
Uploaded: 2024-12-04T18:00:20.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Who Pooped in the Shower?' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-12-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Who Pooped in the Shower?' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-12-04. Transcript available.

you know you used to call me at three in the morning randomly back in the day
when i lived
on beachwood before i met kalilah ron jeremy no it's a sitcom guy you're not
gonna believe
it um hold on hold on and he always asked me hey man i'm in town what you doing
i'm sleeping
by the sound of it hey man hey it's me later yeah uh hold on hey yeah right let
me do it
yeah too bad about gary gary coleman he passed away i'm the only one left
well it's got to be a small black guy yeah yeah you got it bud go toward the
light
emmanuel lewis yes yes got it webster yes webster i could this dude it's so
funny he used to call
you at three in the morning hey man hey it's me what you doing it's like he
would go yeah he'd go
meet me at you meet me at friend 62's i love that cafe yeah yeah and i'd be
like no dude
why not never hung out with him once like i read this thing this was insane it's
supposed to it
really does dude you should try this this is a trick i know i know i know no no
this is a trick
i'm trying to do is uh um is this when you wake up in the morning instead of
brushing your teeth with
your right hand do it with your left and then when you get in the shower
instead of doing your normal
shower routine like what's the first thing you wash in the shower my back right
so instead of doing
your back do your feet first and then do your face and like switch up the or
why are you laughing
at back that's just weird no it's not that's not you're fucking weird what are
you doing go head
first no everybody does it different head is last no heads last i actually
agree i do i do head and
face last yeah yeah no here's my order i do my butthole for about 20 minutes i'll
literally tell
you my order okay so i'll take you know we've already established that that
plastic thing has
a cloth we already we already established that on this podcast sure right so i
do i pull that out
right i put two different um a body um body wash wash on it right from two
different brands one of
them probably a like you know something that that's like a um axe some bat one
but then i'll put an
organic like fancy one so you'll feed your dogs high-end food but you're using
axe on your body no i put
axe and but i put then i put a high-end one that i got at a boutique place oh
yeah so i'll combo it
up upstairs downstairs yeah then i put it in a sud then i do that i do it back
first back back arms
arms chest right then in between the sacks scrub hard what do you mean sacks is
singular you have more
than one what the sack either oh i have two sacks i have two sacks right legs
and then what i do is
rinse yeah and then i do face with my face wash right and then i do hair and
then i'm done i get
that what do you do i first get in there and i lube up the loofah i've got my
nice little loofah
how do you get your back with a loofah what do you mean it's got it's on a
stick oh you don't have a
loofah stick no oh it's fantastic yeah it's actually my favorite because after
you're done loofing yeah
you can flip the stick around and foot it right up your ass yeah love you don't
do that you don't do a
little rabbit with the loofah stick though because i got one on the road you
can't get the real like
with the fucking one i have you can really grind out your back i i don't need
to rub it deep into
the back i don't know if i need to okay because i get a massage for that it's
just a deep skin
it has to do with muscles but how this skin is never exposed to almost anything
on your back
you don't need really need to exfoliate your back oh that's true that's true
what's exposed
so i do the loofah i do sand angels on the on the beach i loofah i get the loofah
ready and i do
chest neck and back first great great combo pitsy-pitsy-pitsy-pitsy yeah then i
go down to
legs and feetsies yeah and then i put the loofah down and i
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i get a lot i love a lot yeah and i slap it boom right
in my pepito and i
and then i get underneath to my nifkin and my butthole yeah yeah yeah i really
work this area
i really clean my butthole my wiener uh-huh i'm just gonna see how much you do
yeah okay that's a lot it's a lot yeah yeah and then finally i finish with the
top half with face
and hair yeah that's the last jewels i just do hair shampoo conditioner and
then body and then face
and then brush my teeth and then that's it oh actually you know what i lied i
the very first
thing i do is brush my teeth in the shower you brush your teeth in the shower
yeah yeah me too i don't do
any of it you've never brushed your teeth no let me see looks fine yeah yeah
let's get a hands who
brush their teeth in the shower oh wow not me see people some people don't like
it i don't like it
perfect i'm already there it's it's it's like you know let me say honestly it's
like playing basketball
on ice how it just doesn't belong there but you pee in the shower no no time
yeah i pee that i don't
care stop stop stop yeah yeah i pee in the shower too he poops in the shower i
don't poo in the shower
that's insane we did a whole episode about it you smooshed the poop down the
drain you talked about
it yeah one time okay one time that's like a fucking one time one time too many
times yeah
yeah okay no one time too many times one time you did a month ago you've done
it more than you poot
in the shower yeah i had to go exactly that's a good one diarrhea yeah there
you go yeah yeah you've done
it often yeah i'm not i don't shame carlos for doing that i get it no you
should okay you do not
poop in the shower do not poop in the show you do what you need to do thank you
thank you because then
then the water it's gonna smell you're gonna okay please i need a mirror when i
brush my teeth
what are you looking at so you can go you have to do i have my phone i have my
phone i have my
i could find yeah yeah i have my phone i just don't i feel it like it's not
doesn't belong there
i get this people say this but i think it does because it's the first thing i
like to do it's warm
the water on your back is so warm and you're brushing under the warmth it's
just it's a perfect
combination it just seems like you're doing your taxes in the water it doesn't
make it sense
like you're with a cochlear abacus so hygienically you're cleaning your body
and then also cleaning
your mouth doesn't belong in the cleaning in the cleaning maybe you're right
but i don't i just can't
i just i would never do it i think you should will you try it okay please i'd
like unfortunately i want
to know how andres does his but i know it's going to be really weird and
annoying how do you do your
shower it's like north to south you start up top and go down yeah wow always
always all right so
everybody okay carlos what's your shower routine uh get it it's a lot like rudy's
actually well you
like baths right because you like to have that the water on your clit i do like
baths actually i
love that me too who doesn't they're amazing but he lets the water rush on his
little clit yeah um
in terms of baths um what you got me for my birthday was it bad no it's not
that bad it's just
like i don't know what the point is she gives me that bath salts no it was
flowers like full-blown
petals oh no they're it's actually the aromatics it's good for you really
supposed to calm you down
yeah it's really but then i gotta pick all i gotta pick all the shit up you
have someone clean your
fucking house for you you don't do that she's right there she gave herself
garbage yeah when's the last
time you clean my house months months yeah get back to it it's too much too
much is it i got a new
person you did yeah one person or more than one it's a cabal of hispanics it's
a cabal a cabal of
hispanics wow just one pickup truck 35 hispanics and they're amazing yeah yeah
where did you find
these people through my friend why oh because what if i need somebody it's
through gilbert gilbert she's
great okay yeah i have a woman that i'm dearly dearly in love with well then
why did you ask me in
case she doesn't do it anymore what if she stops one day yeah she's in dude
this woman is so
beautiful and nice she really i'm not i'm not i'm actually not even making a
comedy joke right now
yeah she's such a lovely person her heart is so beautiful she walks in the door
and sits and
plays with the dog before she's like my friend my friend and she'll like sing
to the dog and sit and
play with the dog it like makes my soul so happy when i see her and she's
always in a good mood and
i've told her multiple times i've said you know if you want me to get you food
or you want to eat or
whatever anything in the house you can have always anything i've never seen her
eat i've never seen
her drink water she's never gone to the bathroom never i'm always like you know
you can have any of
the food in the fridge you can do anything you want she's like no okay no it's
okay but do you
do the bobby lee test of deception i leave money all over the place that's what
i do yeah i leave
thousands and thousands of dollars deception and what i do is i leave random
money yeah tens
twenties yeah there's a hundred yeah in places to see if they take yeah and
they never take they never
take that's the test because if they take i fire you kill you don't kill but do
you do that well i went
to a jewelry store i got a bunch of loose diamonds that's what you have and i'll
just put diamonds
all over that that's insane
you