Name: Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino Get HEATED After Australia Show?!
Uploaded: 2025-01-10T20:20:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino Get HEATED After Australia Show?!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-01-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino Get HEATED After Australia Show?!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-01-10. Transcript available.

- So here's a situation here, guy, my friend.
Is that, I'll tell you how the quokkas came into my,
I told you, right?
- How, yeah, Jim Jeffries.
- Jim Jeffries. - Right.
- Months ago, pulled me aside.
"Might, you gotta see the quokkas."
- Yeah.
- He told me the island and everything, right?
So I've been thinking and dreaming about quokkas
a long time. - I get that.
- Yeah.
And then when we got there, some bloke,
some Australian bloke says to me,
"Might, you know why they call it rotten ass island?"
I go, "Why?"
And he goes, "Because the first guy that went there, right?
Thought they were rats."
So in my mind, I'm like, "Oh, they're not,
they're not as, 'cause what we see,
I thought they were like gonna be real small like rats."
- Me too, yeah.
- Right?
But then when I saw, that's me, when I, yep.
- Look at that, you've taken a photo with one so beautifully.
- Oh, the joey's coming out.
- Yeah, the little joey's coming out of the stomach.
- Dude, that was like magical.
- In love.
- In love with that.
- And that was like four hours into the trip.
You got that.
- Yeah, that was the last second.
We were about to board the boat to go home.
- Well, because I don't, here's, you know,
when people go crazy over celebrities.
- Yeah, that's how I find it.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, I go less crazy.
I take a step back and I go, "You know,
I'm better than that," right?
So there was a lot of quokka fawning.
- A lot of fawning.
- Yeah, right, so I'm like, "Nah, you know what,
I'm pretty cool about this."
But after like two or three hours, I was like,
"What the fuck are you doing?
"It's a fucking quokka, take a photo!"
- Yeah, you were like three hours in,
you're like, "I'm ready to take a quokka."
- Yeah, yeah.
- No, but see, this is what I appreciate about you.
You waited till you felt like it was time.
And guess what?
- Yeah.
- That photo is proof that if you wait,
good things will come.
- Exactly.
- Because a lot of people got a lot of bad photos
of them with quokkas not looking at them.
You, on the other hand,
have a picture-perfect picture with-
- Perfect quokka-pokka-pokka-pokka-pokka.
- Quokka-pokka-pokka-pokka.
- Because I had the little baby in the stomach one.
- It was unbelievable.
- It was really, what an unbelievable photo.
- So the proof is in the pudding, kiddo.
If you wait, good things will come.
- You know, don't call me kiddo anymore.
- All right, baby doll.
I think it's kind of funny.
We got a lot of love down there in Australia,
and we want to thank all of our fans.
- Oh, it was probably, yeah, go ahead, sorry.
- No, no, that's it.
I just want to say we want to thank our fans.
- It was probably, what, go ahead.
- Yeah, I'm sorry, go ahead.
I just want to say that I want to thank,
cut me off again.
- Probably.
- There it is.
- Oh.
- I want to thank all the fans from Down Under.
It was one of the best experiences we've ever had.
I mean it.
It was un-fucking-real.
- It was so cool. - It was so fun.
- Life-changing.
- Life-changing.
- We had people come to the show
that are actor friends of ours that came and-
- Oh, can we talk about that?
- Sure.
- You're not going to be mad?
- What do I care?
- It's already, you already made fun of me
half of the trip about it.
I got mocked incessantly.
Even though, what did Andrew provide?
Except for great recommendations for food
and hangout spots and cool things to see.
But that's okay.
But make fun of me more.
It's fine.
- Well, then I will not.
You're right.
- No, I'd actually prefer it if you did.
If you did.
Go ahead and make fun of me.
- Well, so you asked me to close the shows.
- I asked you to close the shows
'cause I wasn't feeling good.
- You're good, that's fine.
And I 100% backed that.
I'll do whatever.
Usually we switch off.
- Sure.
- So you end up closing some of these shows, please?
- Yeah, but I close except for the one.
- Except for one what?
- One of the shows.
- You didn't close.
What do you mean?
- No, no.
He knows what I'm talking about.
- Yeah, you know.
- You close every other show.
- You know which one.
- I just wanted to close one of the shows.
- Interesting.
- This is so interesting what you're doing.
So interesting.
- What did I do?
- I wasn't there, but I get the picture.
- You get the picture, right?
So there's one show where he goes,
"You know what, Bob?
I'm gonna close this particular one."
I'm like, "Wow, I thought I was gonna close all of them."
Right?
And then it was the show that it was Dakota Fanning,
Sarah Smooch.
- Smooch?
- Friday and Slim.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Smooch, right?
- Sure.
- Yeah, yeah.
Now what I'm saying is that,
so the one show that your celebrity friends are coming,
you're like, "I wanna close because I wanna make it seem."
- Well, they came to see me
'cause they're not a fan of you.
- See what you're doing right now?
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm just being honest.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Do you like the honesty now?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- They all were like, "I don't really care about Bobby.
I don't like his stuff." - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- So I said, "Would you guys like me to go last?"
And they go, "I'd prefer it, less of him, more of you."
- Okay, but whatever-
- No, no, I just wanna tell you the truth.
- Whatever the reason.
- If you like the truth- - Whatever, I love the truth.
- No, no, no, if you like this little truth game-
- I love the truth.
- They all literally said, "We're not fans of Bobby Lee."
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Both comedically, personally.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- And I said, "That's rude."
That's my partner in crime.
- I love what you're doing.
I love what you're doing right now.
- No, no, no, dude.
- These are their words.
- Yeah, yeah, I know.
- I don't think-
- They go, "I don't like him as a stand-up-
- I don't think so."
- Or as a podcaster.
- Yeah, I don't think so.
- They go, "We're not, that's just not our style."
And I said, "Well, maybe I'll-"
- But what would it matter who went up first then?
- No, it doesn't matter.
- They beat me anyway, they saw me anyway.
- Because you hate it if I do too much time.
You bitch about it every time.
So if I go second, then you're not gonna complain to me.
- Right.
It was just an observation.
I don't know if it's the truth.
- But I'm giving you the truth.
- It could have been one show where you're like,
"Here's the deal."
It could have been one show where I was like,
"You know what?
I just feel like closing out the second show."
- No, no, no, the truth really is,
I thought, okay, if they're coming to see,
I'm not gonna have you get upset at me
because I did too much time in the front.
So I was like, "Let me close the show
so I don't hear it from you."
Because every show we've ever done,
if I do too much time and there's proof in the booth,
you do get mad.
- Proof in the booth.
- Are you gonna be honest and say that that's true?
- That is the truth.
- Yes, because you go.
- So let me ask, can I ask?
- And then I see, I hear backstage,
you going like this.
He's doing too much time.
He's always doing too much time.
- Okay.
- 'Cause these guys, they rat you out.
They rat you out.
- Let me say something.
- Let me tell you something.
- The reason why.
- Rat him out.
- You rat him out.
- I'm sorry.
All right, what I'm saying is that.
- So your beef is not with me, pal.
- All right, let me say, first of all, right.
You rat fuckers, dude.
- I don't want to be doing that.
- Yeah, you both are, you rat fuckers.
And number two, and number two, right.
- Don't hide now, pal.
- Right.
- Don't hide.
- I'm gonna say something to you, okay.
You're one of the best comics on.
- First of all, cut it out.
- Let me finish.
- Cut it out.
- He's one of the best comics on planet earth, okay.
- No.
- Listen, right.
We're playing in front of thousands and people, right.
Do you know how hard it is?
I'm blocking your face.
Do you know how hard it is to follow this guy
in any environment?
- He says this every time.
- We say the same thing about you.
- Okay, so my point is, is that, you know what I mean,
I'm sorry that I, at times, don't want to work that hard.
Okay.
I'm sorry that I don't want to work that hard.
And number two, right, back me up, now you two rats, right.
- Time out, real fast, real fast.
- The truth is out there and I love the truth.
- No, but let me stomp the truth real fast.
- Okay, good.
- Two things, real fast, real fast.
- Yeah.
- One, clearly they never said that about you.
You know I'm joking.
You know that I'm joking.
- I just ratted myself out?
- No, no, I just said, listen to me.
- I just admitted that I do complain.
And now, that was some fucking Jedi shit, dude.
That was on COA, don't do that.
- He knows everything.
- He knows everything, dude, Mr. Know-It-All.
- Can I finish something?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Two things.
- Yeah, go ahead.
- One, they never said that about you because you know that they're all in love
with you.
I made that up as a joke.
But two-
- Who?
Dakota Fanning them?
- All of them.
- Of course they didn't!
- I know, but let me level this.
Let me level this.
- Okay.
- That is true, I did want to go second because I did not want you to get mad
at me about
the time.
And then, to make both of these things together, these guys will also tell you,
the rat fucking
scumbag loser fuckheads, that they'll tell you the exact same thing that I say
about you
when you're on stage.
Verbatim, I go, "I don't know why he doesn't go second.
He's crushing it.
I don't want to go after that."
Do I not say that to you?
So yes.
- Okay, so-
- The same thing you say to them, I say to them about you as well.
- Okay.
- So...
- So...
- We're good.
- But...
- And who are we really mad at?
- Yeah, but...
- Them!
- We're not good yet.
- Okay.
- I love this because my parents divorced when I was six, so I never got this.
- So let me...
- Now you're seeing it as an adult.
- No, so let me, let me just, you know, like go to the committee, okay?
- Mm-hmm.
- So McCone, all right?
- No, I have to burp.
- Yeah, McCone, look at me.
Why do you think he wanted to go second, just in your opinion, you know what I
mean?
Your opinion, that only the second show on Melbourne.
- Don't look at me!
- What are you doing?
Dude, you're about to lie!
I could just see...
You did a swallow!
- He wanted to look cool in front of his actor friends.
- Okay, Carlos?
- I think he wanted to show what a good comedian he was in front of his friends.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- That's fine.
- That's great.
- Yeah.
- I told you what it was.
- Yeah.
- I didn't want to hear it from you if I went long.
That's really...
I did not want to hear your bullshit about you going...
Because by the way, I did 30 minutes.
- Yeah.
- Because I wanted to do more time.
- You wanted to give him the best version of the show.
- Oh, fancy.
- Fancy.
- What are you doing?
- What are you doing?
We were just sailing through this...
So here's the issue.
- No, no.
- All right.
- Let that sink in.
- No, I don't want it to.
- Yeah, it's already...
- Just clean it off.
- Once you get HIV, you have it.
- Not anymore, dude.
- I know, but I haven't taken the cocktail yet.
- Well, please do.
- Yeah, so I just took some of HIV.
- But can you see...
- A shot of it.
- He's walked into the poor...
- Right, so...
- At least he's embraced it.
- You said that's the best part of the show.
- No.
- Fancy.
- No.
- Yeah, yeah.
No, listen.
If this is going to be about the truth,
and if we're putting it on the table,
let's just do it.
Let's not like, you know, let's be cowboys.
- Okay, so I told you my truth.
- Yeah, and I believe you.
- I genuinely, I just want to do a lot of time.
- So, I just heard your truth.
And you know what?
- Nice, fancy.
Way to go.
- So anyway, um...
Wow.
What a great trip.
- It was incredible.
- What a wonderful trip.
- It was awesome.
We saw kangaroos.
- We did.
Jess and I went for a long walk
and saw some roos.
- That was awesome.
- It was incredible.
- I was like, "I'm not a good one."
- I was like, "I'm not a good one."
- I was like, "I'm not a good one."
- I was like, "I'm not a good one."
- I was like, "I'm not a good one."
- I was like, "I'm not a good one."
- I was like, "I'm not a good one."
- I was like, "I'm not a good one."
- I was like, "I'm not a good one."
- I was like, "I'm not a good one."
- I was like, "I'm not a good one."
- I was like, "I'm not a good one."
- I was like, "I'm not a good one."
- I was like, "I'm not a good one."
- I'm not a good one."

Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino Get HEATED After Australia Show?!

- So here's a situation here, guy, my friend.
Is that, I'll tell you how the quokkas came into my,
I told you, right?
- How, yeah, Jim Jeffries.
- Jim Jeffries. - Right.
- Months ago, pulled me aside.
"Might, you gotta see the quokkas."
- Yeah.
- He told me the island and everything, right?
So I've been thinking and dreaming about quokkas
a long time. - I get that.
- Yeah.
And then when we got there, some bloke,
some Australian bloke says to me,
"Might, you know why they call it rotten ass island?"
I go, "Why?"
And he goes, "Because the first guy that went there, right?
Thought they were rats."
So in my mind, I'm like, "Oh, they're not,
they're not as, 'cause what we see,
I thought they were like gonna be real small like rats."
- Me too, yeah.
- Right?
But then when I saw, that's me, when I, yep.
- Look at that, you've taken a photo with one so beautifully.
- Oh, the joey's coming out.
- Yeah, the little joey's coming out of the stomach.
- Dude, that was like magical.
- In love.
- In love with that.
- And that was like four hours into the trip.
You got that.
- Yeah, that was the last second.
We were about to board the boat to go home.
- Well, because I don't, here's, you know,
when people go crazy over celebrities.
- Yeah, that's how I find it.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, I go less crazy.
I take a step back and I go, "You know,
I'm better than that," right?
So there was a lot of quokka fawning.
- A lot of fawning.
- Yeah, right, so I'm like, "Nah, you know what,
I'm pretty cool about this."
But after like two or three hours, I was like,
"What the fuck are you doing?
"It's a fucking quokka, take a photo!"
- Yeah, you were like three hours in,
you're like, "I'm ready to take a quokka."
- Yeah, yeah.
- No, but see, this is what I appreciate about you.
You waited till you felt like it was time.
And guess what?
- Yeah.
- That photo is proof that if you wait,
good things will come.
- Exactly.
- Because a lot of people got a lot of bad photos
of them with quokkas not looking at them.
You, on the other hand,
have a picture-perfect picture with-
- Perfect quokka-pokka-pokka-pokka-pokka.
- Quokka-pokka-pokka-pokka.
- Because I had the little baby in the stomach one.
- It was unbelievable.
- It was really, what an unbelievable photo.
- So the proof is in the pudding, kiddo.
If you wait, good things will come.
- You know, don't call me kiddo anymore.
- All right, baby doll.
I think it's kind of funny.
We got a lot of love down there in Australia,
and we want to thank all of our fans.
- Oh, it was probably, yeah, go ahead, sorry.
- No, no, that's it.
I just want to say we want to thank our fans.
- It was probably, what, go ahead.
- Yeah, I'm sorry, go ahead.
I just want to say that I want to thank,
cut me off again.
- Probably.
- There it is.
- Oh.
- I want to thank all the fans from Down Under.
It was one of the best experiences we've ever had.
I mean it.
It was un-fucking-real.
- It was so cool. - It was so fun.
- Life-changing.
- Life-changing.
- We had people come to the show
that are actor friends of ours that came and-
- Oh, can we talk about that?
- Sure.
- You're not going to be mad?
- What do I care?
- It's already, you already made fun of me
half of the trip about it.
I got mocked incessantly.
Even though, what did Andrew provide?
Except for great recommendations for food
and hangout spots and cool things to see.
But that's okay.
But make fun of me more.
It's fine.
- Well, then I will not.
You're right.
- No, I'd actually prefer it if you did.
If you did.
Go ahead and make fun of me.
- Well, so you asked me to close the shows.
- I asked you to close the shows
'cause I wasn't feeling good.
- You're good, that's fine.
And I 100% backed that.
I'll do whatever.
Usually we switch off.
- Sure.
- So you end up closing some of these shows, please?
- Yeah, but I close except for the one.
- Except for one what?
- One of the shows.
- You didn't close.
What do you mean?
- No, no.
He knows what I'm talking about.
- Yeah, you know.
- You close every other show.
- You know which one.
- I just wanted to close one of the shows.
- Interesting.
- This is so interesting what you're doing.
So interesting.
- What did I do?
- I wasn't there, but I get the picture.
- You get the picture, right?
So there's one show where he goes,
"You know what, Bob?
I'm gonna close this particular one."
I'm like, "Wow, I thought I was gonna close all of them."
Right?
And then it was the show that it was Dakota Fanning,
Sarah Smooch.
- Smooch?
- Friday and Slim.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Smooch, right?
- Sure.
- Yeah, yeah.
Now what I'm saying is that,
so the one show that your celebrity friends are coming,
you're like, "I wanna close because I wanna make it seem."
- Well, they came to see me
'cause they're not a fan of you.
- See what you're doing right now?
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm just being honest.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Do you like the honesty now?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- They all were like, "I don't really care about Bobby.
I don't like his stuff." - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- So I said, "Would you guys like me to go last?"
And they go, "I'd prefer it, less of him, more of you."
- Okay, but whatever-
- No, no, I just wanna tell you the truth.
- Whatever the reason.
- If you like the truth- - Whatever, I love the truth.
- No, no, no, if you like this little truth game-
- I love the truth.
- They all literally said, "We're not fans of Bobby Lee."
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Both comedically, personally.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- And I said, "That's rude."
That's my partner in crime.
- I love what you're doing.
I love what you're doing right now.
- No, no, no, dude.
- These are their words.
- Yeah, yeah, I know.
- I don't think-
- They go, "I don't like him as a stand-up-
- I don't think so."
- Or as a podcaster.
- Yeah, I don't think so.
- They go, "We're not, that's just not our style."
And I said, "Well, maybe I'll-"
- But what would it matter who went up first then?
- No, it doesn't matter.
- They beat me anyway, they saw me anyway.
- Because you hate it if I do too much time.
You bitch about it every time.
So if I go second, then you're not gonna complain to me.
- Right.
It was just an observation.
I don't know if it's the truth.
- But I'm giving you the truth.
- It could have been one show where you're like,
"Here's the deal."
It could have been one show where I was like,
"You know what?
I just feel like closing out the second show."
- No, no, no, the truth really is,
I thought, okay, if they're coming to see,
I'm not gonna have you get upset at me
because I did too much time in the front.
So I was like, "Let me close the show
so I don't hear it from you."
Because every show we've ever done,
if I do too much time and there's proof in the booth,
you do get mad.
- Proof in the booth.
- Are you gonna be honest and say that that's true?
- That is the truth.
- Yes, because you go.
- So let me ask, can I ask?
- And then I see, I hear backstage,
you going like this.
He's doing too much time.
He's always doing too much time.
- Okay.
- 'Cause these guys, they rat you out.
They rat you out.
- Let me say something.
- Let me tell you something.
- The reason why.
- Rat him out.
- You rat him out.
- I'm sorry.
All right, what I'm saying is that.
- So your beef is not with me, pal.
- All right, let me say, first of all, right.
You rat fuckers, dude.
- I don't want to be doing that.
- Yeah, you both are, you rat fuckers.
And number two, and number two, right.
- Don't hide now, pal.
- Right.
- Don't hide.
- I'm gonna say something to you, okay.
You're one of the best comics on.
- First of all, cut it out.
- Let me finish.
- Cut it out.
- He's one of the best comics on planet earth, okay.
- No.
- Listen, right.
We're playing in front of thousands and people, right.
Do you know how hard it is?
I'm blocking your face.
Do you know how hard it is to follow this guy
in any environment?
- He says this every time.
- We say the same thing about you.
- Okay, so my point is, is that, you know what I mean,
I'm sorry that I, at times, don't want to work that hard.
Okay.
I'm sorry that I don't want to work that hard.
And number two, right, back me up, now you two rats, right.
- Time out, real fast, real fast.
- The truth is out there and I love the truth.
- No, but let me stomp the truth real fast.
- Okay, good.
- Two things, real fast, real fast.
- Yeah.
- One, clearly they never said that about you.
You know I'm joking.
You know that I'm joking.
- I just ratted myself out?
- No, no, I just said, listen to me.
- I just admitted that I do complain.
And now, that was some fucking Jedi shit, dude.
That was on COA, don't do that.
- He knows everything.
- He knows everything, dude, Mr. Know-It-All.
- Can I finish something?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Two things.
- Yeah, go ahead.
- One, they never said that about you because you know that they're all in love
with you.
I made that up as a joke.
But two-
- Who?
Dakota Fanning them?
- All of them.
- Of course they didn't!
- I know, but let me level this.
Let me level this.
- Okay.
- That is true, I did want to go second because I did not want you to get mad
at me about
the time.
And then, to make both of these things together, these guys will also tell you,
the rat fucking
scumbag loser fuckheads, that they'll tell you the exact same thing that I say
about you
when you're on stage.
Verbatim, I go, "I don't know why he doesn't go second.
He's crushing it.
I don't want to go after that."
Do I not say that to you?
So yes.
- Okay, so-
- The same thing you say to them, I say to them about you as well.
- Okay.
- So...
- So...
- We're good.
- But...
- And who are we really mad at?
- Yeah, but...
- Them!
- We're not good yet.
- Okay.
- I love this because my parents divorced when I was six, so I never got this.
- So let me...
- Now you're seeing it as an adult.
- No, so let me, let me just, you know, like go to the committee, okay?
- Mm-hmm.
- So McCone, all right?
- No, I have to burp.
- Yeah, McCone, look at me.
Why do you think he wanted to go second, just in your opinion, you know what I
mean?
Your opinion, that only the second show on Melbourne.
- Don't look at me!
- What are you doing?
Dude, you're about to lie!
I could just see...
You did a swallow!
- He wanted to look cool in front of his actor friends.
- Okay, Carlos?
- I think he wanted to show what a good comedian he was in front of his friends.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- That's fine.
- That's great.
- Yeah.
- I told you what it was.
- Yeah.
- I didn't want to hear it from you if I went long.
That's really...
I did not want to hear your bullshit about you going...
Because by the way, I did 30 minutes.
- Yeah.
- Because I wanted to do more time.
- You wanted to give him the best version of the show.
- Oh, fancy.
- Fancy.
- What are you doing?
- What are you doing?
We were just sailing through this...
So here's the issue.
- No, no.
- All right.
- Let that sink in.
- No, I don't want it to.
- Yeah, it's already...
- Just clean it off.
- Once you get HIV, you have it.
- Not anymore, dude.
- I know, but I haven't taken the cocktail yet.
- Well, please do.
- Yeah, so I just took some of HIV.
- But can you see...
- A shot of it.
- He's walked into the poor...
- Right, so...
- At least he's embraced it.
- You said that's the best part of the show.
- No.
- Fancy.
- No.
- Yeah, yeah.
No, listen.
If this is going to be about the truth,
and if we're putting it on the table,
let's just do it.
Let's not like, you know, let's be cowboys.
- Okay, so I told you my truth.
- Yeah, and I believe you.
- I genuinely, I just want to do a lot of time.
- So, I just heard your truth.
And you know what?
- Nice, fancy.
Way to go.
- So anyway, um...
Wow.
What a great trip.
- It was incredible.
- What a wonderful trip.
- It was awesome.
We saw kangaroos.
- We did.
Jess and I went for a long walk
and saw some roos.
- That was awesome.
- It was incredible.
- I was like, "I'm not a good one."
- I was like, "I'm not a good one."
- I was like, "I'm not a good one."
- I was like, "I'm no