Name: Carlos Fails to Save Bobby Lee
Uploaded: 2025-01-30T16:00:16.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Carlos Fails to Save Bobby Lee' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-01-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Carlos Fails to Save Bobby Lee' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-01-30. Transcript available.

no no i like you're saying that i could have died no i liked it at four in the
morning i promise you
no i i could see the phone right now yeah you could see it well what can you
see that i did
it at four in the morning i know oh god i could have died last night you
definitely couldn't have
died he he could have died last night no he could have killed me well he's sick
right now too are
you sick yeah from the fires dude it's the smoke no he's sick you know he's
sick bobby texted me
at three in the morning saying like doors were unlocked and to come in if the
fire hits that's
sexy no it's not dude that's not sexy it's not sexy no oh i thought that was
sexy no i had
everything set up i had the cat crates everything set up and i liked it an hour
later no dude i could
have died like because i fell asleep knowing that you were my garden angel and
nah you're gonna die
angels need to take naps you say so last night what happened garden angel
garden angel like he
lives in the garden that's right dude my little garden angel he's a garden
angel dude he's a lawn
numb dude he is kinda so last night what time did you get in i kept texting you
on the flight texting
you from the sky yeah i landed at 10 35. oh my god oh wow i saw the smoke the
whole way it was wild
wow i saw the fires the whole way last night um i texted carlos because i was
so tired i go
um so just i'm gonna fall asleep but just in case um if it gets out of control
i'm gonna leave my
bedroom door open hot yeah and then um wake me up well i have the bags packed
yeah get the cats in
the cradle cats in the cradle and the silver spoon la is on fire and it's new
since fall yeah so um
it's that mayor we have were you going to hey los angeles this is mayor karen baird
yeah where are
you going baby she's done she's done dude right yeah she's cooked she's done
dude why she stayed
silent they're interviewing dude that was crazy that yeah yeah they were like
sweet british guys
like madam mayor have you got anything to say to the people of los angeles you
cut you cut the you
know the fire department fund and all that stuff and she kept quiet but last
night right so i'm
like i felt i fell asleep i'm like okay carlos asked me this morning he liked
my thing and so
which means that he had slept through it so if my house is on fire i'd be dead
you'd be dead
but i was texting you the whole night i texted you back and forth in fact i got
a call
from kalilah how many calls did you get from kalilah uh yesterday two well i
got a call mid-flight
and i thought i texted i was like i can't answer i'm on a plane yeah why can't
by the way why
can't i answer i'm on a plane can't they just make it available for us to take
a call on a plane it'll
interfere with the radio no it won't that's there's no way that there's no way
there's no way there's
a lot of things they should like the closing the windows when you're landing
what's that all give
me a break i i know why they do that why so when it's on fire you can't see you
can't see
so no one right yeah so you don't panic right here's another one tray table why
does that have to
be up up or down or whatever whatever it shouldn't matter yeah and by the way
if the plane crashes the
tray table i want it to cut me in half let it sever me in half well it would
hit your head because they
want you to bend over well they want you to eat your own balls it's such a
weird they like tuck your
head in your lap another one here's another one that drives me crazy give it to
me i feel like we're
doing hacky road stuff one is up with driving and flying what is that seinfeld
not good well you
just did it that was my day what's the deal with flying what's the deal with
flying anyway um another
one is some of some of you poor folk some of you poor folk might not know this
one okay let me get i
want you to see if you can guess all right you can have the waist right but
what else do they want in
first class sometimes what are you talking about have the waist the waist um
seat belt yeah right
there's another thing they tell you to do sit up straight soldier shoulder one
oh the strap one
yeah yeah yeah right double strap it's like i'm already this why do i need that
yeah they need we
want this too because you fold in half oh is that what it is yeah you'll fold
in half i don't you know
what there's no logic to it but i will say this you can't tell me we have
people that live in space
right we have someone that lives at the international space station they live
in space you can't tell
me the plane can't have a separate radio for me taking a phone call dude that's
a good point dude
what are you talking about write a letter dude i'm gonna karen bass will you
start to write a letter
write a letter to karen bass dear karen bass yeah why can't you figure this
radio plane stuff out
okay i have another one get it the uh seat belt signs on right yeah ding you
have diarrhea
every flight me too literally every flight so i get up see right and then the
stewardess goes what do you
call them flight attendant goes yeah you have to sit right and i go but you're
standing yeah
circus au lai whoa you think you have better balance than me circus au lai cirque
de soleil but
yeah whatever right you know i bet your money i want to see the circus au lai
yeah i want to see you
oh yeah she doesn't yeah i want i want to look her in the eyes i go i bet your
money lady which is
something that's the guy or sir sir whatever who knows right if we were on one
of those longs in the
lake i would win 100 right not even don't pretend that you're log champion you're
not you know that
one what you know you know that one yeah that's a log champion that's this dude
look at my form
look look look look look look now it's going backwards yeah yeah switch switch
so
you know how they go switch they go forward and they go backwards so what i'm
saying is is that
no if you're standing i stand if you're stand i stand don't you think stand up
for your right to
fight what do you have any other flight ones i'll tell you one right now
because this is crazy okay and
this applies to everybody they get they entice you on these frequent flyers you
know they're like oh
you get miles right like it means it doesn't mean it doesn't mean they lie they
they so here's what
happens yeah i'm in terminal five i'm about to fly on jet blue because it
shares it with american
i fly to american my whole career we've been on the road you know why because
you're an american god
bless god is god bless america uh no but i but look i've been i've been an
american customer
because my dad was when we traveled a lot now i've switched a lot back and
forth but i have over
a million miles on american over a million right and check this out i politely
go to the i politely
go to the lounge and i say to the woman hey i know i'm not traveling american
today um i'm traveling jet
blue it's the same terminal they don't have a lounge but like i want to get
something to eat
because i haven't eaten like i'm running around i haven't eaten i go is it cool
if i go in there
because i'm uh and she goes you have to fly american i go can i show you my i've
i have my
loyalty or whatever and she's like no i don't care and i have the card i was
like no i mean please
just please can i just get like a coffee and something to eat i haven't eaten
all day she's
like no you have to be flying american and i said i have over a million miles
what else do you want me
to do dude you're caught i give your company so much money every year i'm not
saying i i'm entitled
but it's like dude cut me a break can i get a coffee and a donut i fly with you
guys a million
fucking miles a year i don't want to fight with you start it yeah start it i
don't want to no start it
i don't want to start another fire no start it i don't want to start one in
this in this room and
then we'll get an alert by the way we get an alert on our phone man man bobby
goes you're telling the
whole city to evacuate i was like read it i was mentioning common things that
normal people go
through right and you had to throw in oh the first class strap was a common
thing you
liar you liar this is this is what the fans don't know you're a liar no you're
a liar he started off
by saying the poor people liar i never said that yeah you did roll the tape oh
yeah i did yeah he did
okay here's what he does he plays this victim card and the fans think like poor
innocent bobby dude he's
a brat you guys don't know you guys are so out of your element and by the way
everybody can get access
to a lounge that's not like a privileged thing if you travel with an airline
enough you can go to
the lounge it doesn't matter how many points you have you can go and by the way
and by the way
little boy you didn't have any status until i signed you up for all of your
frequent flyer
because i said i'm trying to help you out another thing you don't take care of
i didn't listen to a word you just said now let me say something i know you did
carla and you've been
to the airport with him right oh yeah what's up with him in the lounge we're
all he's always like
meet me in the lounge i'm what am i i'm like i don't want to go to the lounge i
want to go get
a snack i want to get food we have money we can go to dunkin donuts they have
better snacks why would
i pay when i can just sit down they don't have chocolate donuts in the lounge
well you should
stop getting dunkin donuts it's kid mentality like he's a child mcdonald's over
cafeteria food yeah i'll
take i'll take what he said it's shitty food it's airplane lounges aren't
cafeteria food no no but i
know what he's saying it's it's comparative my point is i just want to have
like a cup of coffee
and sit down and relax because you get to the gate and you're like well there's
nowhere to sit so i'm
going to stand here like a fucking dildo waiting for the flight and then it's
not worth it i'd rather
go to the lounge get a cup of coffee sit down read some emails it's so that's
why every time i invite by
the way when we do go to the lounge together you fucking liar you love it you're
a fucking liar
when we were in australia went in the lounges you fucking loved it didn't you
didn't you liar
you're such a liar the fact that the fans don't fucking know who you really are
what is wrong with
it bums me out it's crazy no my testosterone do you listen to yourself out
every day my tea is way up
right now dude i want to kiss you okay uh one last one last thing and then we'll
can move on from
thing they should have um obviously at the gate a first class line oh boy this
is relatable
this will be a really and then they should have they should not done okay they
should have the
groups you know so you have group b c whatever the lettering one two whatever
the numbers it's always
numbers go ahead okay um you wanted to start a fight dude you even said it okay
but what so what they
should have no i'm not done yet though all right so then they should have also
a line that they don't
have right for is i know it for the chinese i know and i knew you're gonna say
because i'll tell you
why yeah okay they cut they no definitely what they don't know how it works yes
they do i know they
do but they pretend that they don't i love them so their whole thing is what
going on right here i
don't i don't i don't know you know i love chinese they cut they cut they cut
and they go in the first
class last dude sometimes you'll see a chinese couple yeah chinese couple yeah
and they'll go
with the um uh needs more time like the disabled people yeah yeah i've seen
them walk with the
veterans i've seen them with military yeah with the fact you're not in the marines
and he beeps his
phone all right he beeps phone he's like right whoa yeah america but you know
what i love though
this is what i love i love that when they when they get to the ticket person
right they go how about
me right how about me and then they go no you're you're you're you're in five
seven you're at the
end and then they're then they have to go and i always make a face i just go i
love it see when
they walk by me when they walk by me nice try you know i let it i get a nice
try you got to let them
swing

Carlos Fails to Save Bobby Lee

no no i like you're saying that i could have died no i liked it at four in the
morning i promise you
no i i could see the phone right now yeah you could see it well what can you
see that i did
it at four in the morning i know oh god i could have died last night you
definitely couldn't have
died he he could have died last night no he could have killed me well he's sick
right now too are
you sick yeah from the fires dude it's the smoke no he's sick you know he's
sick bobby texted me
at three in the morning saying like doors were unlocked and to come in if the
fire hits that's
sexy no it's not dude that's not sexy it's not sexy no oh i thought that was
sexy no i had
everything set up i had the cat crates everything set up and i liked it an hour
later no dude i could
have died like because i fell asleep knowing that you were my garden angel and
nah you're gonna die
angels need to take naps you say so last night what happened garden angel
garden angel like he
lives in the garden that's right dude my little garden angel he's a garden
angel dude he's a lawn
numb dude he is kinda so last night what time did you get in i kept texting you
on the flight texting
you from the sky yeah i landed at 10 35. oh my god oh wow i saw the smoke the
whole way it was wild
wow i saw the fires the whole way last night um i texted carlos because i was
so tired i go
um so just i'm gonna fall asleep but just in case um if it gets out of control
i'm gonna leave my
bedroom door open hot yeah and then um wake me up well i have the bags packed
yeah get the cats in
the cradle cats in the cradle and the silver spoon la is on fire and it's new
since fall yeah so um
it's that mayor we have were you going to hey los angeles this is mayor karen baird
yeah where are
you going baby she's done she's done dude right yeah she's cooked she's done
dude why she stayed
silent they're interviewing dude that was crazy that yeah yeah they were like
sweet british guys
like madam mayor have you got anything to say to the people of los angeles you
cut you cut the you
know the fire department fund and all that stuff and she kept quiet but last
night right so i'm
like i felt i fell asleep i'm like okay carlos asked me this morning he liked
my thing and so
which means that he had slept through it so if my house is on fire i'd be dead
you'd be dead
but i was texting you the whole night i texted you back and forth in fact i got
a call
from kalilah how many calls did you get from kalilah uh yesterday two well i
got a call mid-flight
and i thought i texted i was like i can't answer i'm on a plane yeah why can't
by the way why
can't i answer i'm on a plane can't they just make it available for us to take
a call on a plane it'll
interfere with the radio no it won't that's there's no way that there's no way
there's no way there's
a lot of things they should like the closing the windows when you're landing
what's that all give
me a break i i know why they do that why so when it's on fire you can't see you
can't see
so no one right yeah so you don't panic right here's another one tray table why
does that have to
be up up or down or whatever whatever it shouldn't matter yeah and by the way
if the plane crashes the
tray table i want it to cut me in half let it sever me in half well it would
hit your head because they
want you to bend over well they want you to eat your own balls it's such a
weird they like tuck your
head in your lap another one here's another one that drives me crazy give it to
me i feel like we're
doing hacky road stuff one is up with driving and flying what is that seinfeld
not good well you
just did it that was my day what's the deal with flying what's the deal with
flying anyway um another
one is some of some of you poor folk some of you poor folk might not know this
one okay let me get i
want you to see if you can guess all right you can have the waist right but
what else do they want in
first class sometimes what are you talking about have the waist the waist um
seat belt yeah right
there's another thing they tell you to do sit up straight soldier shoulder one
oh the strap one
yeah yeah yeah right double strap it's like i'm already this why do i need that
yeah they need we
want this too because you fold in half oh is that what it is yeah you'll fold
in half i don't you know
what there's no logic to it but i will say this you can't tell me we have
people that live in space
right we have someone that lives at the international space station they live
in space you can't tell
me the plane can't have a separate radio for me taking a phone call dude that's
a good point dude
what are you talking about write a letter dude i'm gonna karen bass will you
start to write a letter
write a letter to karen bass dear karen bass yeah why can't you figure this
radio plane stuff out
okay i have another one get it the uh seat belt signs on right yeah ding you
have diarrhea
every flight me too literally every flight so i get up see right and then the
stewardess goes what do you
call them flight attendant goes yeah you have to sit right and i go but you're
standing yeah
circus au lai whoa you think you have better balance than me circus au lai cirque
de soleil but
yeah whatever right you know i bet your money i want to see the circus au lai
yeah i want to see you
oh yeah she doesn't yeah i want i want to look her in the eyes i go i bet your
money lady which is
something that's the guy or sir sir whatever who knows right if we were on one
of those longs in the
lake i would win 100 right not even don't pretend that you're log champion you're
not you know that
one what you know you know that one yeah that's a log champion that's this dude
look at my form
look look look look look look now it's going backwards yeah yeah switch switch
so
you know how they go switch they go forward and they go backwards so what i'm
saying is is that
no if you're standing i stand if you're stand i stand don't you think stand up
for your right to
fight what do you have any other flight ones i'll tell you one right now
because this is crazy okay and
this applies to everybody they get they entice you on these frequent flyers you
know they're like oh
you get miles right like it means it doesn't mean it doesn't mean they lie they
they so here's what
happens yeah i'm in terminal five i'm about to fly on jet blue because it
shares it with american
i fly to american my whole career we've been on the road you know why because
you're an american god
bless god is god bless america uh no but i but look i've been i've been an
american customer
because my dad was when we traveled a lot now i've switched a lot back and
forth but i have over
a million miles on american over a million right and check this out i politely
go to the i politely
go to the lounge and i say to the woman hey i know i'm not traveling american
today um i'm traveling jet
blue it's the same terminal they don't have a lounge but like i want to get
something to eat
because i haven't eaten like i'm running around i haven't eaten i go is it cool
if i go in there
because i'm uh and she goes you have to fly american i go can i show you my i've
i have my
loyalty or whatever and she's like no i don't care and i have the card i was
like no i mean please
just please can i just get like a coffee and something to eat i haven't eaten
all day she's
like no you have to be flying american and i said i have over a million miles
what else do you want me
to do dude you're caught i give your company so much money every year i'm not
saying i i'm entitled
but it's like dude cut me a break can i get a coffee and a donut i fly with you
guys a million
fucking miles a year i don't want to fight with you start it yeah start it i
don't want to no start it
i don't want to start another fire no start it i don't want to start one in
this in this room and
then we'll get an alert by the way we get an alert on our phone man man bobby
goes you're telling the
whole city to evacuate i was like read it i was mentioning common things that
normal people go
through right and you had to throw in oh the first class strap was a common
thing you
liar you liar this is this is what the fans don't know you're a liar no you're
a liar he started off
by saying the poor people liar i never said that yeah you did roll the tape oh
yeah i did yeah he did
okay here's what he does he plays this victim card and the fans think like poor
innocent bobby dude he's
a brat you guys don't know you guys are so out of your element and by the way
everybody can get access
to a lounge that's not like a privileged thing if you travel with an airline
enough you can go to
the lounge it doesn't matter how many points you have you can go and by the way
and by the way
little boy you didn't have any status until i signed you up for all of your
frequent flyer
because i said i'm trying to help you out another thing you don't take care of
i didn't listen to a word you just said now let me say something i know you did
carla and you've been
to the airport with him right oh yeah what's up with him in the lounge we're
all he's always like
meet me in the lounge i'm what am i i'm like i don't want to go to the lounge i
want to go get
a snack i want to get food we have money we can go to dunkin donuts they have
better snacks why would
i pay when i can just sit down they don't have chocolate donuts in the lounge
well you should
stop getting dunkin donuts it's kid mentality like he's a child mcdonald's over
cafeteria food yeah i'll
take i'll take what he said it's shitty food it's airplane lounges aren't
cafeteria food no no but i
know what he's saying it's it's comparative my point is i just want to have
like a cup of coffee
and sit down and relax because you get to the gate and you're like well there's
nowhere to sit so i'm
going to stand here like a fucking dildo waiting for the flight and then it's
not worth it i'd rather
go to the lounge get a cup of coffee sit down read some emails it's so that's
why every time i invite by
the way when we do go to the lounge together you fucking liar you love it you're
a fucking liar
when we were in australia went in the lounges you fucking loved it didn't you
didn't you liar
you're such a liar the fact that the fans don't fucking know who you really are
what is wrong with
it bums me out it's crazy no my testosterone do you listen to yourself out
every day my tea is way up
right now dude i want to kiss you okay uh one last one last thing and then we'll
can move on from
thing they should have um obviously at the gate a first class line oh boy this
is relatable
this will be a really and then they should have they should not done okay they
should have the
groups you know so you have group b c whatever the lettering one two whatever
the numbers it's always
numbers go ahead okay um you wanted to start a fight dude you even said it okay
but what so what they
should have no i'm not done yet though all right so then they should have also
a line that they don't
have right for is i know it for the chinese i know and i knew you're gonna say
because i'll tell you
why yeah okay they cut they no definitely what they don't know how it works yes
they do i know they
do but they pretend that they don't i love them so their whole thing is what
going on right here i
don't i don't i don't know you know i love chinese they cut they cut they cut
and they go in the first
class last dude sometimes you'll see a chinese couple yeah chinese couple yeah
and they'll go
with the um uh needs more time like the disabled people yeah yeah i've seen
them walk with the
veterans i've seen them with military yeah with the fact you're not in the marines
and he beeps his
phone all right he beeps phone he's like right whoa yeah america but you know
what i love though
this is what i love i love that when they when they get to the ticket person
right they go how about
me right how about me and then they go no you're you're you're you're in five
seven you're at the
end and then they're then they ha