Name: Very Old Asians
Uploaded: 2025-02-07T15:30:12.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Very Old Asians' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-02-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Very Old Asians' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-02-07. Transcript available.

What's the shirt you're wearing?
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
It wasn't a good joke, that's why.
So good. No, it wasn't good.
No, it was really good. You just did that laugh.
Ha ha ha ha! Yeah, if you do, if I'm not being funny...
Do that. Today? Yeah.
Everyone do that laugh. All right.
And I will do the same. All right, thank you.
Ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!
You do one. Do your fake laugh.
Yeah. Ha ha ha!
Yeah, yes, yes. That hurts the most.
Ha ha ha ha!
Yeah, the velocity and the energy behind that is so hurtful.
So Pete's wife cooked us some cookies.
I'm looking to eat it. Oh, that was me.
I baked them. You said your wife.
No, no, that was me. I baked them.
Oh, I don't want this.
Oh, no, no, they're good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah. No, no, no, no.
Well, in the middle, what is it?
Go ahead. The Hershey's kiss.
Ooh.
No, thank you.
Can you put this? I don't like the smell.
Do you want this? You want one? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Good catch. What are those called? What are these called?
Peanut butter blossoms.
You want one, sweetheart?
I have nicotine in my mouth.
God bless, dude. God bless you.
God bless, dude.
I'm going to have a little taste of Pete's.
I haven't eaten in 24 hours.
Why?
Because I took the last bit of my Ozempic.
Wow, Pete.
This is bad.
Oh, man.
I can tell. They look bad.
Yeah, they look bad and they smell bad.
And I'm going to finish it because I need to poop today.
I'm pooped and I know this will make it happen.
You know, if you're going to finish it, it's really good.
Yeah? Very good.
Yeah.
I'll take a bite.
No, eat a whole one.
I cracked a tooth.
Okay, thank you.
You got to cut us eating.
Yeah.
This is the holidays.
Oh, nice.
Mmm, peanut butter.
Yeah. Nice.
Yeah.
Really good stuff, Pete.
It's really good.
Are you a baker?
Is that your side hobby?
I cook, I bake, yeah.
You watch The Great British Bake Off?
Oh, I sure do every season.
Really?
Who won this season?
I didn't watch this season.
By the way, the most shocking win.
We could talk about it.
I didn't have her on my top to win.
I had bring up the cast, the young, good looking kid who is beautiful.
But did you see what happened to him at the end of the episode?
Yeah.
What?
What do you mean?
They showed like he up.
No, after that, they show like what they're up to now.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
He's working at a Michelin restaurant.
It's beautiful.
He's fine.
You know, Paul Hollywood called somebody 100%.
Yeah, yeah.
He got four handshakes.
Yeah, he was amazing.
So out of our show, out of you and I.
Okay.
You're Paul Hollywood and I'm Pru.
No, dude, that's not true.
I'm Paul Hollywood.
No, I'm that black lady that does the jokes.
With the great British bike.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're her.
No, really, you think I'm Paul Hollywood?
I guess you're right.
I am Paul Hollywood.
You're Pollywood for sure.
You're Pollywood.
Boom, baby.
I give the shakes.
Yeah, no, you are Pru because you look like her.
Bring up Pru.
This is actually what Bobby looks like.
This is genuine.
That's Bobby.
That's you.
Look up.
Yeah, the third photo is on.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
That's not you?
That's not me.
That little eccentric woman is not you.
That's a hundred.
I guess maybe.
If you were an old white woman, that would be you.
Yeah, if I was an old white woman, I would be that, yes.
That's what the we're doing.
Yeah.
That's what the this is.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
OK, so anyway, so but here's the thing about the he didn't have a good day.
Who didn't?
Oh, yeah.
He didn't.
No, he didn't.
He didn't have a good day.
Bring his name up again.
I forget his name.
The cast.
He's my favorite, though.
He's he's so good.
Really handsome guy.
Yeah, Dylan.
This guy is a great baker.
And you know who likes him a lot?
Who?
Rudy.
She's nodding already.
Pervert.
Zoom in on that guy.
He's he's gorgeous.
This guy.
Not a great photo.
No, no.
Again, not that not that photo.
He honestly, he's such a good he's such a good baker.
He's so good.
And he's so humble.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
He's very good looking.
He's cute, he's cute.
And he's strong.
He's a great show.
Weird.
That's why I like he's a little eccentric.
I like him like that.
Yeah.
How do you want him to be like when Paul that photo put the kid in a movie?
Yeah.
When Paul Hollywood does handshakes to him, he waits too long to shake it back.
Yeah, I think he's nervous.
So Paul.
Paul Hollywood would be like.
Yeah.
And then this guy goes.
He's he's I know, but my point is you shake it right away.
You shake it.
When Andrew shakes your hand, you shake it right away.
Shake it right away.
You know better.
Good forearms for baking.
Kid's got great ham.
Yeah.
Look at that.
And he's got good flavor.
Great.
That's his thing.
Unique flavors.
Unique flavors.
All right.
We're bored.
We're bored.
Okay.
Anyway, I don't think we are.
I don't think we are.
Well, it's for you and me.
It doesn't matter.
I don't want to know what we've watched.
Look at that.
His mom is Indian and his father is Japanese Belgian.
Wow.
And they showed a video of the family, the most wholesome fucking family on
earth.
These people are wonderful.
Let me see the family.
I never saw it.
Do the family.
Let me see.
They showed a video of him with his family.
I'll show you.
I know wholesome.
But that girl is the one that won, by the way.
But she had a good day.
And that's all.
Yeah.
But she wasn't my home run.
He was my home run all season.
Okay.
Do you know what hope core is?
Is it a thing online?
No hope core.
Okay.
I don't like it.
Well, I'll tell you what, when Jules, when you do, you act as if I'm not from
this
planet, that I don't have the same kind of social media you have.
It's just, I see you and I see an old.
An old what?
An old man.
Yeah.
And hope core is my generation.
Oh, really?
Well, then why don't you explain it to us?
Yes.
Explain to us hope core.
Side note.
Do you see an old man when you see me?
No.
Fuck yeah.
Different.
What do you see when you see me?
Like early thirties.
I'll take it.
See what she's doing?
She couldn't even look at you in your eyes.
I'm going to say this and I'm going to speak on her behalf.
And this is what she wanted to say.
It's weird.
You're like much younger than Bobby, but you guys look the same age.
Right?
That's what her eyes said.
That's what her eyes said.
No.
You guys look like very different.
Thank you.
So I look way older than him.
Hmm.
I mean, you just look like an old Asian.
Asian.
Yeah.
Asians, Asians age in a different way.
Whites get uglier.
Whites get uglier.
You just get old Asian.
Okay.
Yeah.
Look, look, look, look, look.
Now that's a good looking old Asian.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You could never.
Yeah.
Is your hair going to get white like that?
Yeah.
Oh, that's cool.
And he's like thinking of lotus flowers and grasshoppers.
And when you get old, an Asian man will only, what do they think about?
Taking long walks.
Long walks.
Putting the hands behind their back.
Behind their back.
It has to be attached.
Has to.
Because watch, when a Korean man unattaches it, he stops walking.
They'll fall over.
They'll fall over.
It's all about weight.
So.
Yeah.
Right?
They think about what?
Long walks, grasshoppers.
Grasshoppers, right?
Lotus flowers.
Lotus flowers.
A bamboo arrangement.
They love bamboo arrangements.
Arrangements.
Bonsai trees.
Clipping.
Have an old Asian man walk by Bonsai trees.
They'll be clipping.
They'll be clipping.
That's why they have clippers in their fucking pockets.
All old Asian men.
Just in case, right?
If I walk by a Bonsai tree, dude, you'll see me clipping all day long.
He'll be clipping.
He'll be clipping.
I'll be clipping, dude.
This is more of your stock right there.
This is me.
This is me walking down.
You're right.
This is me walking down.
What?
You can't resist.
I can't resist it, dude.
If I see, dude, a lotus flower, dude, or if I see a grasshopper, I do this.
They jump right on my finger.
They have to, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Isn't that like to-
And then we philosophize.
Yeah, right.
We always philosophize.
Another thing that old Korean men think of is-
Mountains.
They love sitting up in the mountains.
Bro, how do you know about mountains?
I'm Korean.
How do you know about us in mountains, dude?
I'm Korean, dude.
Oh, my God.
I'm Korean, dude.
And tea.
They love-
Love!
Love tea, dude.
It's got to be some herb you've never even heard of.
And you know what else they love?
Oh, fuck.
Here we go.
Here we go.
They love a good babbling brook.
Yeah.
Running water.
Yeah.
They love just a little like-
Little bubbles of water, right?
A babbling brook to an Asian guy is-
And the last thing they think about, I'll tell you, is-
And this is a deep cut, but this is so true.
Two-dollar fucky fuckies.
Two-dollar fucky fuckies, dude.
Because, you know, for old Korean men, inflation isn't a thing.
It's not.
Yeah.
And it should be.
We're gonna pay what we pay in the 1950s, but it's inflation.
I don't care.
Two dollars!
Don't care.
That's all he has.
You know why?
That's where the American government created the two-dollar bill.
What?
For two-dollar fucky fuckies.
And people don't realize that.
Yeah.
They created it, right, during the Vietnam War.
They did.
Yeah.
And they're so hard to cash in because they're rare.
They're very rare.
It's a trick, almost.
It is.
So the prospect goes, "I can't cash, you see?"
Right?
And they frame them.
They always frame them.
I actually have a lot of them, if you want some.
Well, how did you get so many?
Kirk Fox.
He's-
Oh, that makes sense.
King of two-dollar fuckies.
King of two-dollar fuckies.
I'm in the lot.
And I'll give them to you.
You could use them.
Woo-hoo.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.