Name: L.A. is Dead
Uploaded: 2025-02-13T16:30:22.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'L.A. is Dead' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-02-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'L.A. is Dead' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-02-13. Transcript available.

That LA is dead, by the way.
- That LA is dead, you mean?
- The LA as we know it is dead.
- Why?
- This is a red alert, red alert.
After the pandemic and the fires and the strike,
LA, we gotta go.
I hate to say it to you, buddy, but it's happening.
No, no, no, it's happening, 100%.
We're leaving.
- Where are we going?
- I don't give a , but we're leaving.
We're leaving, we gotta go, dude.
What are we doing anymore?
- 'Cause us, me, you, and Tim Dillon
were talking about like we have to stay.
- I know, we said the exact opposite on the show.
That's the best part about podcasts.
- Yeah, we have to, we have to be the last one standing.
- We should stay.
I don't want to.
Gavin Newsom and Karen Bass and all the bullshit
of this fucking city and it's never gonna get rebuilt right
and they can't get Hollywood to stay.
What are we doing?
- Yeah.
- They fucked us up.
By the way, I listened to Adam Carolla this morning
talking about, 'cause he just, this guy has,
he's grew up in Los Angeles.
He's lived here his whole life.
He was talking about how good luck rebuilding Malibu.
These people are gonna have to
try to get permits.
Good luck.
- Why?
- Good luck because it's gonna be a billion people
trying to get permits from the city of LA.
And this city is insane with building permits.
It's crazy.
There's a million rules and restrictions.
There's so much regulation in Los Angeles.
It's gonna take them forever.
- But what if I had a house that burned down?
I can't, I have to get a building permit
to rebuild my house?
- Of course you do.
And you have to get a million different kinds of them.
- Wow.
- And nevermind that.
Talk about all the insurance companies
that fucked over all those people.
They're never, they're never gonna rebuild.
Even if they do, it's gonna take three years
before the Palisades even exists anymore.
- Wow.
This city is fucked.
- Yeah.
What are they gonna do with these stars and stuff?
- It's not just stars, dude.
This is-
- I mean regular people too.
- Altadena.
- Cut that out.
- No, no.
- No, leave it in.
Fuck you.
- Cut that out, cut that out.
No, no, no, please.
It came out wrong.
It came out wrong.
- And that's why it has to stay in.
- All, no, all people, no, all people.
- Altadena.
- Keep it in.
- He will.
- Don't keep it in.
- No, he keeps it in.
- I'm scared.
- Stop, please.
- Shut up.
- Yeah, you shut up, dude.
- Let them know who you are.
- No, I don't know who I am.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, I'm good guy.
- No, Altadena.
Altadena is like a regular working class neighborhood.
I'm sure there's some nice house there,
but it fucked up a lot of people, man.
That was the misinformation of the news.
People were like, this is just superstars.
You're like, dude, it's fucking 30,000 acres.
- Exactly.
- That's so many people.
What do you mean?
And it's probably, look at the total acreage
that's been burnt in Los Angeles County.
And by the way, we're doing this podcast
while it's happening.
- More than Manhattan.
- More than Manhattan is burnt.
- Wow.
- And we're doing this while it's on fire still right now.
- Yeah.
- People at home.
- Just the Palisades is over.
- 17,000, just the Palisades.
- Oh, so can they do this?
You know what happened?
I called you two hours ago, right?
- Wow.
- Yeah.
- So they did a evacuation alert on everyone's phone.
Two hours, did you get that?
- On accident, yeah.
- On accident though.
- Yeah.
- Don't do that.
- Don't do that.
- Who's the guy like, ha ha ha, what's this, John?
Beep, you know what I mean?
And then the fucking, like who's in charge of that?
- One idiot.
- Sitting in a room being like, oh shit.
I hit it.
- That scared the shit out of me.
- But imagine if you and I had that,
we'd be like, do it.
- Oh my God.
- Don't do it.
- You'd get fired.
- Yeah, right away.
- Yeah.
- You know how many fucking, what are they called?
Amber alerts I just let out,
but I would do Amber alert for one of our friend's cars.
- Mm.
- Do you know what I mean?
- Someone's car that we know at the comedy store.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.
- We have a special guy, is he here?
I thought you said he's here.
Oh.
- Who's coming?
- It's a surprise.
- Now I wanna know.
- It's a surprise.
It's a fun surprise.
- It's a surprise for you?
- No, it's in the room.
- Wait, how do you, how are you, do you know?
Why do I have to be surprised?
Why can't you be surprised?
- Well, if you did any organization for the show whatsoever,
then you could.
- Yeah, but I don't want the surprise.
If you're not gonna get a surprise, I want-
- You're CC'd on all the emails, Bob.
- You literally are CC'd on everything.
- Okay, I'm gonna look at it now then.
- God.
- Which email?
- I'm CC'd in it.
It's Amazon, it says Dermacon.
- What's Dermacon?
Is that a pimple, pimple?
- It's for my nails.
I have High Street Beast.
- What's High Street Beast?
- Clothing.
- Sick.
- Oh, shit.
- Wow.
- Yeah, sit down.
- What a prince.
- What a prince.
Prince, look at the prince here, dude.
- Blesses us.
- Yeah, what happened to your glasses?
- It's gone.
- Why?
- Korean doctor helped me out.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah, man.
- Yeah.
- Dr. Paul Lee, shout out, you know?
- Yeah.
- Shout out, Paul Lee.
- You wanna wear the cans or do you need them?
- I don't think I need them.
I can wear you guys just fine.
Or are you guys playing clips and stuff?
- No. - No, no, no, no, no.
- Oh, okay.
- This isn't your mom's house.
- Yeah.
- As you got successful, your skin cleared up.
- Really?
Did I have bad skin?
- No, but before, like, you almost have perfect skin now.
- That is so weird that you say that.
- You look happier.
Maybe that's what it is.
- No, there's something about your fucking skin, dude.
- Really?
I swear I can see the flaws now.
- Really?
- Yeah.
I thought I used to have perfect skin
and now I'm stressed, you know?
- Yeah.
- What are you stressed about?
It's a tough life.
- Why?
You're killing it.
- You got a baby?
- No, no baby.
- Well, then what are you stressed about?
You're married.
- No, I'm not married.
- You're not married.
You don't have a baby.
What do you give a shit?
- This is how good Jimmy's doing.
This is how good Jimmy's doing.
And I want to be honest with you.
Your ex-girlfriends are girls I couldn't even get,
I don't think.
- No, come on, Bobby.
I've seen girls.
- No, no, no, that's the fucking truth.
Let's talk truth and let's talk gospel.
- Let's talk gospel and truth, babe.
- Thank you.
- What I'm saying to you is that the girls,
I've seen your ex-girlfriends.
- Do it like the gospel.
Do it in gospel tone.
- Give me an example.
- I've seen your ex-girlfriends.
- Oh yeah, I've seen.
Here we go.
I've seen your ex-white girlfriend.
And they come from the depths of the earth
within each other.
And the Prince of Korea has come with his clear skin
and his eyes a purple white.
- I appreciate this.
This makes me feel good about myself, Bobby.
I wasn't expecting this coming in here.
- What you're hailing at.
- No, I appreciate that.
But I see your presence whenever Bobby steps into a room.
There's a presence.
- I have no presence, dude.
- He sits down on a couch and people just line up
and gather around him.
There's an aura around.
- There's an aura.
- Brother?
- That's not true because the last party I saw you at.
- Yeah.
- Where, who was the aura?
- You.
- You were the aura.
- No, man.
- No, I'll tell you why.
- No, man, you were.
- I'll tell you why.
You're the aura, my young man.
I'll tell you why.
All right?
Because we went to Awkwafina's New Year's party.
- Ooh.
- That's true.
- Preach.
- Right?
And I came late.
- He came late.
- I came late with a woman.
- But he was like the headliner coming in.
- No.
I'm not gonna do the voice.
We walk in.
Who's on the dance floor?
- Was it me dancing?
- You were dancing like a little butterfly.
I was trying.
- Okay, like a little Korean butterfly, right?
And, and you were the flame.
We were the moths.
- No, no.
That's not how I saw it.
- Jimmy, Jimmy, just let me finish.
- Sorry, sorry.
Keep complimenting.
- Jimmy, let me, let me start, right?
And I remember me, Gene, Dom, we all went to you.
You didn't come to us.
We came to you on the dance floor.
We took a photo with you on the dance floor,
which means you're the light, right?
And we're the moth.
- Yeah.
That sounds like it.
- That's interesting.
I remember you saw it because how I saw it was you arrived.
- Yeah.
- And then you were like,
there's a beautiful woman next to you.
And she was very doting.
And every time I'll talk to you or like, you know,
I'll talk to her.
She was like, I gotta go.
Bobby's right there.
I gotta take care of him.
- Thank you.
- You were like the king.
- She's my concubine.
- Yeah. There you go. Boom.
That's it.
- Atta boy, dude.
- Yeah.
- And were there any whites at the party?
Other than the one?
- There's some whites.
- He's always with the whites.
- What is up with you and the whites as of late?
- He loves the whites.
- As of late.
- Jimmy loves the whites.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- No, no, no.
I'm into authenticity.
I dated black girls, Asian girls, you know, white girls.
I think that was my ex-girlfriend was very white.
- Yeah.
- So I think people just assume that.
- Mm.
- But also, I don't know, like growing up in Hong Kong
when everyone was Asian, like white people was exotic to me.
Like how white guys here obsess over Asian girls
'cause it's exotic.
- Certain kinds of white guys, yeah.
- Like maybe.
- You don't.
- Weirdo white guys too.
- Yeah, yeah. Creepy white.
- Like George.
- Yeah.
- Look, take one look at that guy.
Tell me his wife is Asian.
- For sure.
- A hundred percent.
- He likes Asian chicks.
- Yeah, a hundred percent.
- For sure.
- It's a kind of white guy that's obsessed with it.
Now, I find Asian women beautiful,
but there's a certain kind of white guy
that like obsesses over Asian women.
- Yeah.
- He is, he does.
- Oh my God.
- No, but okay.
I'm gonna ask you a question.
- There you go.
Mark Zuckerberg.
- Yeah, yeah.
She plays the violin.
She's a violinist, I think.
Yeah.
- It's always fucking weirdo white guys, dude.
- Yeah.
- Woo hoo.
Yeah.
Woo hoo.
Yeah.
Woo hoo.
Yeah.
Woo hoo.
Yeah.
Woo hoo.
Yeah.
Woo hoo.
Yeah.
- Woo hoo.
Yeah.