Name: Bobby Lee Knows NOTHING About Cars
Uploaded: 2025-02-18T18:00:36.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee Knows NOTHING About Cars' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-02-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee Knows NOTHING About Cars' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-02-18. Transcript available.

there's a Chase Bank on the corner. Right now, there's a Buck Mason right there.
You see it says
Buck Mason clothing store? Yeah. That used to be Larchmont Village, Larchmont
Bakery or whatever,
Larchmont Cafe, the Larchmont Cafe. It was one of the best coffee and breakfast
joints.
And do you know why they closed down? I've never even heard of it.
Oh, it was incredible. Really? So good. It's an Echo Park now.
They moved, I know. But do you know why? Why? They got kicked off the street.
What happened was the neighborhood, someone, there's a snitch rat in the
neighborhood.
And because they were operating whatever hours of the day, these people that,
because right behind them are houses, right? Right. They were open late.
They were open probably later than a normal place would be. Yeah.
And they were mad. So then someone in the neighborhood found out they weren't
registered
to have this certain code of restaurant or whatever to like make coffee and
sell food and alcohol.
Wow. And they got that place closed down after like 20 some odd years.
Do we know this person's name? No, I don't know who did it.
But I'm telling you, if I find out, because you took that away from me,
because I used to have coffee there in the morning and right in the corner.
One of my favorite places to get a cup of coffee. They brewed it there.
They had the fucking coffee vat things there with the beans.
Oh my God. With the beans. They're that big?
They're this big. I had no idea they were that big.
Show him with the bean machine. Oh my God.
Show him a bean machine. I always thought they were this big.
That's what I call my wife's vagina, the bean machine.
Yeah. Show him the bean machine.
Coffee bean roasting machine. There it is.
Coffee bean roasting machine. Roasting machine.
There it is.
That's not it.
Oh.
It's the big vat with the beans. There it is.
Oh my God.
Tell me that's not as big as the arms I pooped.
It was so big, dude.
Look at this. Look at that stuff.
Yeah.
And that's where it makes the beans nice to make me poop.
Yeah.
By the way, I've realized after like 41 years on this planet, I don't think I've
pooped without coffee in 20 some odd years.
No.
I don't think so.
Wow.
If I don't have coffee, I'm not pooping.
Wow.
Yeah.
Me too.
I think.
I have to.
I have to.
I need coffee so bad.
Like I feel I'm serious.
Yeah.
If I'm on the road and I need to grab a cup of coffee, it'll be like 2 or 3 p.m.
And I'm like, I haven't pooped.
Yeah.
Quick trivia.
Go.
What's older, the Eiffel Tower or Nintendo?
Oddly enough, Nintendo.
Yes.
Yeah.
How do you know?
Because.
Did you know that?
Yeah.
Nintendo was starting when Jack the Ripper was still operating.
Dude, that kid at school, dude.
Dude, you know that kid in school?
Annoying.
The most annoying kid in school.
God.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, did you guys know?
Did you know this?
Yeah.
When Jack the Ripper was still operating.
God.
You mean murdering?
Yeah.
Operating is the weirdest word for a murderer.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Working, I don't know what to say.
Working?
Working, no.
He's not getting paid.
That's why I said operating.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Killing people.
Wow.
So, yes.
Give me more trivia.
That's the only one I know.
Well, get another one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That is.
It's an interesting thing.
Have you been to the Eiffel Tower?
I have.
And?
Rank it out of five.
Out of all the towers I've been to?
Yeah.
Two.
Right behind the twin?
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, honestly, rank it out of five.
Two for real.
Out of, out of.
Oh, no, it's probably five.
The one in Vegas is better.
I agree.
Yeah, yeah.
The one in Vegas is better.
I went to the Eiffel Tower was so let down.
And then, you know, and then when you first, when you go down Larchmont a
little further,
I get a little lost here.
I die down.
The pizza joint's fine.
Yeah, yeah.
Mulberries.
You know, Mulberries.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then.
Oh, there's a creation juicery and all that stuff.
Yeah, all that stuff.
Does that say Jerry Seinfeld?
He's just on Larchmont?
Yeah, he's.
What am I doing at Larchmont?
There's a Pete's Coffee.
Yeah.
He said, go get him.
Oh, go get him, Tiger, too.
There's about nine coffee shops.
It's a good place if you're in L.A. to go shopping.
Take a walk.
And take a walk.
It's a really nice place.
Parking's a bitch.
What?
Parking.
Parking in the neighborhood.
Oh, that's what you do?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, fuck it.
Dude, trying to wait for those spots.
Yeah, but there's also, you know, here's the thing about the signs.
I never know what the signs are.
I don't read them.
You just park wherever?
I just park, and if I get a ticket, I get a ticket.
By the way, it's not failed me for 20 years in L.A.
So you'll park in a residential thing where it says you need a tag?
I'll figure it out.
I almost always get away with it.
Now, where I don't get away with it is meters.
Meters are insane.
They got, like, a gun out waiting for you, like, yeah, you got two minutes left.
Yeah.
You got two minutes.
Yeah.
But in the neighborhood, those guys got a circle so big and look at every tag.
Nah, you can get away with it.
Yeah, I got towed in West Hollywood once when I was at a lady's house.
But you slept over.
Yes.
See, overnight's different than during the day.
Oh, so, ah, I got that too wrong.
Nighttime, you cannot.
Nighttime, no, no.
Nighttime, no.
Why?
Why not?
No, no, because that's when they're really, that's when they have time to get
people.
But they actually tow you.
100%.
Wow.
Because they make so much fucking money.
How much did it cost to get your car out?
$800 or something?
Yeah, hundreds of dollars.
It's so stupid.
It makes me so mad.
It's unjust.
It's unfair.
Yeah.
That's why I want to do, put the, you know, now they sell, you can lock your
wheels so they
can't tow it.
Have you seen this?
No.
Then they have to get a flatbed in there.
No.
Yeah.
You get one of those?
Some guy in New York put a video up about him, like, there was things you can
put around
your wheels so they can't tow you.
Wow.
But they flatbed you, then they can.
They can get you.
I just created an invention, just one you just said that.
Here's my invention, dude.
Yeah.
Like a bike lock.
Right?
Like a bike lock, right?
On your top, through your wheels?
Not through the wheels even.
Like, you know the piping below?
Oh boy.
What?
I'm going to find out how little you know about cars.
There's no, there's no piping below?
There is, but what piping are you speaking about?
The exhaust piping?
What is that?
There we go.
But what is that going to do?
You put a lock on it.
On the exhaust?
That's not going to help you.
There's got, so when I go underneath a car, I've never been underneath one.
There we go.
Zoom in.
Yeah.
Look at all that stuff.
Look at all the chaos down there, my friend.
Right, yeah.
Can I zoom in a little further, my friend?
Further, please?
There's got to be a place underneath that car where you can stick a lock.
But what are you locking up?
Your car to the street.
He just puts a master lock.
Click, like a gym locker?
Right.
You click, right?
Lock, click, right?
And then they have to have the combo to unlock it.
I don't, I don't, yeah, okay.
Yeah, I'm in, I'm on.
Oh, they have one of those things?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, I see.
They just clip it.
They clip it.
Well, they just clip bikes then.
They do all the time.
Oh, they do?
People get bikes stolen.
My bike got stolen the first, like, three bikes I had here got stolen.
So there's no lock that's unclippable in human history.
Well, that's, let's invite, invent that.
Let's invent that.
An unclippable lock.
An unclippable lock.
I almost called you yesterday.
Yeah.
Because I was walking on Larchmont.
Okay.
Our favorite, I was.
Yeah.
And I was talking on the phone to a friend about the David Lynch documentary
that they reposted
to HBO.
Oh, Limo.
It's old, right?
Yeah.
But I rewatched it because I'd watched it when it came out.
Yeah.
Dude, he said something.
He said something in there.
Made you cry.
It just made me feel like what we talk about, right?
With the show that we're making.
Give it to me, baby.
Give it to me.
He said, I realized at some point that life was about making art.
Drinking coffee, smoking cigarettes, and sometimes a woman gets in there.
And I was like, that's.
Dude.
That's all his life was.
Make art, smoke cigarettes, drink coffee.
That's my life.
Sometimes get a girl in there.
Yeah, yeah.
But I'm saying, what he's saying to you is, listen to the order.
Make art first, coffee and cigarettes, debatable, whether you should, I don't
think you should
smoke cigarettes anymore.
And sometimes a girl gets in there.
But when you put the girl in front of the art.
Is this directed toward me?
No, this is universal.
This is a broad.
This is David Lynch.
Yeah.
What he's saying is when you put girl in front of art and girl represents not
just woman,
it represents noise, earth, life noise.
Yeah.
In front of art, art bad, art go, art bad, art wrong.
But if it goes art, cigarettes and coffee.
Yeah, yeah.
And then girl, life, art good.
It's good.
Art good.
Yeah.
That's exactly what he's saying.
And he said it so profoundly.
You're like.
Is it on HBO?
It is.
I want to watch it.
Right?
Isn't it HBO?
I think it was HBO.
They reposted it.
But so David Lynch, do you like his movies?
What do you mean?
I love his movies.
What I don't like is people.
Exactly.
Do you know what I'm trying to say?
Yeah.
Do you?
I don't think so.
No.
Yeah.
I think.
They don't understand.
I think some people like David Lynch because of the abstract nature of film.
And then some people like David Lynch because they really believe that
everything was deliberate.
I don't get that second part.
I think some people really like it because not all those films were fucking
perfect.
Quite flawed, if I'm being honest.
A lot of them are quite flawed.
Super subversive and beautiful.
But like, I think some people like him because they like that it's weird.
And some people like it because it's a lot of artistic choice.
It's very deliberate, is what I mean.
I'm going to tell you why I like it.
I'll give you an example of what I'm trying to say.
Go ahead.
Tell me.
The example I'm trying to say is I think some people like Tarantino because a
lot of his
movies, for lack of a better explanation, involve violence and very hot, heavy,
fast,
throbbing film.
It's very, it's a lot, right?
Which is why when someone talks about once upon a time, they're like,
I didn't like it till the end, till there was a lot of violence.
Do you know what I mean?
And then other people really like it because the way he tells stories is
extremely specific.
I love that movie.
I love that movie.
But it's story, it's specific.
That's my point.
It's like some people like Lynch because they understand he's trying to tell
this really
beautiful, intricate story, sometimes within itself.
Some people like it because they're like, it's fucking, Lynch is out there, man.
It's just fucking, it's like they're just fascinated with the idea that it's so
unique.
Yeah, woo-hoo. Yeah, woo-hoo. Yeah.